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TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Jenna Fischer; Jim Nantz; and Gavin Rossdale. PLUS:New for the Belmont Stakes; a View of Mars; American Airlines; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; Will It Float; and Late Show Fun Facts.
“ . . . and now, aging adventurer . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Tomorrow is the Belmont Stakes, and Big Brown will be trying to capture the Triple Crown. Everyone’s got horseracing fever. Dave shows what he found in the supermarket earlier in the day.
He holds up a miniature microwaveable TV dinner: “Swanson’s Hungry Jockey Dinner.”
It’s tiny.
NASA’s Mars probe landed successfully and his been sending back fascinating data. We take a look at a live video feed from Mars to see what’s happening.
We see the starkly beautiful landscape . . . and over to the right . . . what is that? Can we zoom in . . . . . hey, look, it’s a Cracker Barrel Restaurant. And no lines!
Dave throws a blue card through the window. We lose sight of it, but then it slowly flips back down to earth, landing on the West Side Highway. This is sure to screw up traffic.
American Airlines has announced a number of new fees, including a $15 surcharge to check a bag. Many consumers are upset about the added charges, prompting the airline to release this response. Announce:“Due to rising operating costs, American Airlines will begin charging passengers a $15 fee for the first bag they check, and increasing fees for additional bags. We are also raising surcharges for such conveniences as pet transportation, reservation services and checking oversized luggage. We understand that these added costs might deter people from traveling with us, but you’re in luck, because now non-passengers can choose not to fly with us at all for only a $35 non-flying fee.
American Airlines: Screw you, America!”br />
Dave suddenly hears the sounds of an impending news bulletin. He searches the desk for the copy to read. He searches through a stack of blue paper for the copy to read. He can’t find the copy to read. Because there is no copy to read. False alarm. Phew.
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
We see our President wink, laugh, and wink.
Dave gives the blue sheets from under his desk to Paul to see if he can find anything he’s supposed to report. Paul leafs through them and can find nothing of note.
And what was written on those blue pages? It was a stack of 10 copies of the show script from earlier in the week.
ACT 2: LATE SHOW FUN FACTS – Soon on DVD.
ACT 3: TOP TEN – with the new sports-themed animation. Signs Your Neighbor is an Alien --- a guy in Denver reportedly has videotape of a space alien peeking through a bedroom window. 10. Eats Domino’s delivery guy and tips the pizza. 4. When a rerun of “Mork & Mindy” is on, he sneers, “That guy’s not from Ork.” 2. He drives a 2011 Toyota Corolla.
JENNA FISCHER: From NBC’s The Office and the new film, The Promotion.
Jenna had a bit of a dress dilemma before coming to the show tonight. She borrowed a dress from a designer but has lost weight since the fitting. It was too loose. She considered wearing an older dress, with a low-cut front, but thought it too racy. Jenna decided to go with the designer dress.
I never have this problem. When I’m getting dressed for work, I ask myself, “The old jeans or the older jeans?”
But the real question is, “How did she lose weight.” Jenna says she has started jogging again. (Darn. I was hoping for something easy.) She has the same routine every day. She jogs past a house with an orange tree in front. She steals an orange each day she jogs by. Another house along the way has a fountain in which she washes the sticky orange juice off her hands. She keeps looking for a cupcake bush to make her jog really enjoyable.
Jenna is from the Midwest and says she spent a lot of time at a cottage at the Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri. One of the big attractions at the lake was the “talking potty.” Up by the dam, around from the arcade, was an outhouse. When you opened the door, an animatronic man would be in there and say, “What are you doing? Get out of here!” For some reason, people loved it.
(Which reminds me … got a couple bucks . . . buy yourself a Whoopee Cushion. More laughs for the dollar than anything in the world. It’ll keep your kids busy for hours.)
At the lake there was also a party boat that always looked exotic and exciting to Jenna. She would always beg her dad to let her go on it. Not until her senior did her father let her go on the party boat, which she did with a friend. She discovered that the boat was all about drinking. Unfortunately, Jenna and her friend were too young. It was cold, it was wet, and they were trapped. She and her friend spent 4 hours crouched in the corner waiting to go home.
Uhhhh, what was the name of the party boat, Jenna? I’d like to make a note. It think it was The Captain Larry Boat or something. Remind me to tell you my story about going on a cruise around Manhattan with Rush Limbaugh.
Jenna’s new film, The Promotion opened today. It’s about two guys, one her husband in the film, vying for the position of Store Manager.
ACT 4: WILL IT FLOAT?
Alan as TV’s Harvey Lassiter, DDS.
Tonight’s item: a container of wallpaper paste.
And it . . . . . . . Sinks.
ACT 5: Announce: “Monday on the Late Show, Dave is joined by Tom Brokaw, and musical group Gnarls Barkley. A show this good only comes along once in a lifetime.
We’ll be right back.
ACT 6: JIM NANTZ: He’s been with CBS for more than 2 decades and has established himself as the face of CBS Sports. He’s also a three-time National Sportscaster of the Year, and the author of the best-selling book, “Always By My Side.” Nantz does play-by-play on CBS for the NFL, college basketball, and golf. Dave asks Jim about Tiger Woods. Nantz says Tiger has incredible intensity and concentration. He’s totally focused when on the course. But there is also a soft side to the world’s greatest golfer, and Jim shares a story of Tiger gently coaxing Jim’s daughter out from hiding under a table, too bashful to meet Tiger Woods. Dave explains that Tiger won’t come on our show and this disappoints Dave since he knows the two are one and the same. They are very much alike and Dave is eager to get this friendship started. Hmmm, time for a Tiger Log?
Dave asks what sportscasters influenced Jim growing up. Jim mentions Jim McKay, Jack Whittaker, Dick Enberg, Chris Schenkel, all familiar names to me. Dave started to tell a story about one of the above mentioned and I “Played the Dave.” I guessed Dave was going to mention Chris Schenkel and Saturday afternoon bowling. DING! Dave’s memory of Mr. Schenkel was the same as mine, and probably the same for anyone over 40.
Dave then teases Jim about CBS, bird sounds, and the Masters. Jim laughs it off and says only good things about the greatness of Augusta.
Jim’s book, “Always By My Side,” is a collection of memories from Jim’s life and career woven together with lessons learned from his father. The book begins with Jim describing his 79-year-old father’s ongoing affliction with Alzheimer’s.
“Always By My Side” debuted at #33 on the New York Times Hardcover Non-Fiction Bestseller list. It went to 22 the next week, and is currently at #11.
ACT 7: GAVIN ROSSDALE: From a founding member of the band, “Bush,” Gavin Rossdale performed “Frontline” from his CD, “Wanderlust.”
And that was our show for Friday June 6, 2008.
The code name of the five beaches where the D-Day landings took place in Normandy were:
Omaha, Utah, Juno, Gold, Sword
You know, if Hillary Clinton ran for United States Senator from her home state of Illinois when she had the chance, instead of running in New York, she wouldn’t have had to deal with Barack Obama today.
When a baseball player hits a three-hopper to the 2nd baseman with the bases loaded in the 9th, he choked. If the player hits a three-hopper 15 feet to the left of the 2nd baseman, he’s clutch.
General Bernard Montgomery – commander of all ground forces at Normandy. General Omar Bradley – commander of the 1st U.S. Army General Dwight D. Eisenhower – Supreme Allied Commander
200 years ago, presidential candidates got their message out by shouting to 50 people at a time in the town square. The campaign lasted a couple weeks. Today in this technological age where we can communicate to the entire world in mere seconds, it takes candidates 18 months for them to get their message out.
Congratulations, to a local high school. In nearby Nyack, the high school principal allowed the class Seniors to remove about 1000 desks from school at night to spell out “2008” on the football field as part of their Senior Prank. But deep into the night, another group snuck out to the field and changed “2008” into . . . . well, the shape of male genitalia. Now that’s a nice innocent prank. Nice job.
A Rupert – a dummy paratrooper that was used as part of a deception plan to confuse Germans about the location for the main invasion.
It’s supposed to be boiling hot here in the city on Monday. Yes or no, will we show the clip of Bill DeLace and the melted yellow taxi cab? I don’t know yet, but I may give it a nudge.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Rockford, Michigan, it’s Marlan Buddingh
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Jenna Fischer; Jim Nantz; and Gavin Rossdale. PLUS:New for the Belmont Stakes; a View of Mars; American Airlines; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; Will It Float; and Late Show Fun Facts.
“ . . . and now, aging adventurer . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Tomorrow is the Belmont Stakes, and Big Brown will be trying to capture the Triple Crown. Everyone’s got horseracing fever. Dave shows what he found in the supermarket earlier in the day.
He holds up a miniature microwaveable TV dinner: “Swanson’s Hungry Jockey Dinner.”
It’s tiny.
NASA’s Mars probe landed successfully and his been sending back fascinating data. We take a look at a live video feed from Mars to see what’s happening.
We see the starkly beautiful landscape . . . and over to the right . . . what is that? Can we zoom in . . . . . hey, look, it’s a Cracker Barrel Restaurant. And no lines!
Dave throws a blue card through the window. We lose sight of it, but then it slowly flips back down to earth, landing on the West Side Highway. This is sure to screw up traffic.
American Airlines has announced a number of new fees, including a $15 surcharge to check a bag. Many consumers are upset about the added charges, prompting the airline to release this response. Announce:“Due to rising operating costs, American Airlines will begin charging passengers a $15 fee for the first bag they check, and increasing fees for additional bags. We are also raising surcharges for such conveniences as pet transportation, reservation services and checking oversized luggage. We understand that these added costs might deter people from traveling with us, but you’re in luck, because now non-passengers can choose not to fly with us at all for only a $35 non-flying fee.
American Airlines: Screw you, America!”br />
Dave suddenly hears the sounds of an impending news bulletin. He searches the desk for the copy to read. He searches through a stack of blue paper for the copy to read. He can’t find the copy to read. Because there is no copy to read. False alarm. Phew.
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
We see our President wink, laugh, and wink.
Dave gives the blue sheets from under his desk to Paul to see if he can find anything he’s supposed to report. Paul leafs through them and can find nothing of note.
And what was written on those blue pages? It was a stack of 10 copies of the show script from earlier in the week.
ACT 2: LATE SHOW FUN FACTS – Soon on DVD.
ACT 3: TOP TEN – with the new sports-themed animation. Signs Your Neighbor is an Alien --- a guy in Denver reportedly has videotape of a space alien peeking through a bedroom window. 10. Eats Domino’s delivery guy and tips the pizza. 4. When a rerun of “Mork & Mindy” is on, he sneers, “That guy’s not from Ork.” 2. He drives a 2011 Toyota Corolla.
JENNA FISCHER: From NBC’s The Office and the new film, The Promotion.
Jenna had a bit of a dress dilemma before coming to the show tonight. She borrowed a dress from a designer but has lost weight since the fitting. It was too loose. She considered wearing an older dress, with a low-cut front, but thought it too racy. Jenna decided to go with the designer dress.
I never have this problem. When I’m getting dressed for work, I ask myself, “The old jeans or the older jeans?”
But the real question is, “How did she lose weight.” Jenna says she has started jogging again. (Darn. I was hoping for something easy.) She has the same routine every day. She jogs past a house with an orange tree in front. She steals an orange each day she jogs by. Another house along the way has a fountain in which she washes the sticky orange juice off her hands. She keeps looking for a cupcake bush to make her jog really enjoyable.
Jenna is from the Midwest and says she spent a lot of time at a cottage at the Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri. One of the big attractions at the lake was the “talking potty.” Up by the dam, around from the arcade, was an outhouse. When you opened the door, an animatronic man would be in there and say, “What are you doing? Get out of here!” For some reason, people loved it.
(Which reminds me … got a couple bucks . . . buy yourself a Whoopee Cushion. More laughs for the dollar than anything in the world. It’ll keep your kids busy for hours.)
At the lake there was also a party boat that always looked exotic and exciting to Jenna. She would always beg her dad to let her go on it. Not until her senior did her father let her go on the party boat, which she did with a friend. She discovered that the boat was all about drinking. Unfortunately, Jenna and her friend were too young. It was cold, it was wet, and they were trapped. She and her friend spent 4 hours crouched in the corner waiting to go home.
Uhhhh, what was the name of the party boat, Jenna? I’d like to make a note. It think it was The Captain Larry Boat or something. Remind me to tell you my story about going on a cruise around Manhattan with Rush Limbaugh.
Jenna’s new film, The Promotion opened today. It’s about two guys, one her husband in the film, vying for the position of Store Manager.
ACT 4: WILL IT FLOAT?
Alan as TV’s Harvey Lassiter, DDS.
Tonight’s item: a container of wallpaper paste.
And it . . . . . . . Sinks.
ACT 5: Announce: “Monday on the Late Show, Dave is joined by Tom Brokaw, and musical group Gnarls Barkley. A show this good only comes along once in a lifetime.
We’ll be right back.
ACT 6: JIM NANTZ: He’s been with CBS for more than 2 decades and has established himself as the face of CBS Sports. He’s also a three-time National Sportscaster of the Year, and the author of the best-selling book, “Always By My Side.” Nantz does play-by-play on CBS for the NFL, college basketball, and golf. Dave asks Jim about Tiger Woods. Nantz says Tiger has incredible intensity and concentration. He’s totally focused when on the course. But there is also a soft side to the world’s greatest golfer, and Jim shares a story of Tiger gently coaxing Jim’s daughter out from hiding under a table, too bashful to meet Tiger Woods. Dave explains that Tiger won’t come on our show and this disappoints Dave since he knows the two are one and the same. They are very much alike and Dave is eager to get this friendship started. Hmmm, time for a Tiger Log?
Dave asks what sportscasters influenced Jim growing up. Jim mentions Jim McKay, Jack Whittaker, Dick Enberg, Chris Schenkel, all familiar names to me. Dave started to tell a story about one of the above mentioned and I “Played the Dave.” I guessed Dave was going to mention Chris Schenkel and Saturday afternoon bowling. DING! Dave’s memory of Mr. Schenkel was the same as mine, and probably the same for anyone over 40.
Dave then teases Jim about CBS, bird sounds, and the Masters. Jim laughs it off and says only good things about the greatness of Augusta.
Jim’s book, “Always By My Side,” is a collection of memories from Jim’s life and career woven together with lessons learned from his father. The book begins with Jim describing his 79-year-old father’s ongoing affliction with Alzheimer’s.
“Always By My Side” debuted at #33 on the New York Times Hardcover Non-Fiction Bestseller list. It went to 22 the next week, and is currently at #11.
ACT 7: GAVIN ROSSDALE: From a founding member of the band, “Bush,” Gavin Rossdale performed “Frontline” from his CD, “Wanderlust.”
And that was our show for Friday June 6, 2008.
The code name of the five beaches where the D-Day landings took place in Normandy were:
Omaha, Utah, Juno, Gold, Sword
You know, if Hillary Clinton ran for United States Senator from her home state of Illinois when she had the chance, instead of running in New York, she wouldn’t have had to deal with Barack Obama today.
When a baseball player hits a three-hopper to the 2nd baseman with the bases loaded in the 9th, he choked. If the player hits a three-hopper 15 feet to the left of the 2nd baseman, he’s clutch.
General Bernard Montgomery – commander of all ground forces at Normandy. General Omar Bradley – commander of the 1st U.S. Army General Dwight D. Eisenhower – Supreme Allied Commander
200 years ago, presidential candidates got their message out by shouting to 50 people at a time in the town square. The campaign lasted a couple weeks. Today in this technological age where we can communicate to the entire world in mere seconds, it takes candidates 18 months for them to get their message out.
Congratulations, to a local high school. In nearby Nyack, the high school principal allowed the class Seniors to remove about 1000 desks from school at night to spell out “2008” on the football field as part of their Senior Prank. But deep into the night, another group snuck out to the field and changed “2008” into . . . . well, the shape of male genitalia. Now that’s a nice innocent prank. Nice job.
A Rupert – a dummy paratrooper that was used as part of a deception plan to confuse Germans about the location for the main invasion.
It’s supposed to be boiling hot here in the city on Monday. Yes or no, will we show the clip of Bill DeLace and the melted yellow taxi cab? I don’t know yet, but I may give it a nudge.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Rockford, Michigan, it’s Marlan Buddingh
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Belmont Stakes Excitement • Live Feed From Mars • American Airlines No-Fly Fee • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
ACT 2 • Late Show Fun Facts
ACT 3 • Top Ten Signs Your Neighbor Is An Alien Read now
