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TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
John Goodman; Bear Grylls; and Robyn. PLUS:“Mission Accomplished”; Dave Discusses Sexual Activities; a News Bulletin; Dr. Albert Hofmann; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; a Visit From the Spirit of Abraham Lincoln; and a Special Top Ten from Senator Barack Obama.
“ . . . and now, making his network television debut . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
During the pre-show Q&A, a guy in the audience asked Dave how he got along with the CBS executives. Dave is still laughing just thinking about it.
Today is the 5th Anniversary of George W. Bush’s "Mission Accomplished” speech. Have you seen this message from the White House? We watch. Announce: “Today is the 5th anniversary of President George W. Bush’s infamous ‘Mission Accomplished’ speech. While we admit this speech was premature, we would like to highlight George W. Bush’s other accomplishments.”
Cut to static.
Cut to a shot of the White House. Announce: “The White House. We’re going to have to get back to you on this one.”
Dave turns and throws the blue card through the window behind him. It was one of his greatest tosses of all time. Dave proudly exclaims it cleared the George Washington Bridge and is on its way to Bayonne. BUZZ. If it cleared the GW Bridge from a toss at West 53rd Street, the blue card would either land in north Jersey or Rockland County, New York. Bayonne is south of West 53rd and across the Hudson.
Dave is a student of human behavior, majoring in their sexual proclivities. Over the years he has learned this: Humans are the only beings capable of phone sex. And there is a new sex study that has found that the smarter the woman is, the less likely she is to be good in bed. The researchers have released this explanation of their findings. Announce: “In a recent study, scientists found that smarter women tend to be worse in bed than women of lower intelligence. The researchers came to this conclusion after conducting interviews with hundreds of women, asking their partners about their sexual activity and comparing the Paris Hilton sex tape with the Ruth Bader Ginsburg sex tape.
A message from the National Slut Council.”
We hear the sounds of an impending news bulletin. It catches Dave’s ear and he searches for the urgent information. It’s not on any of the blue cards. There is nothing on his cue cards. The sound effect then disappears. There is no news bulletin. We had just the sound effects of a news bulletin. A relieved Dave gushes, “Oh, I thought I had to read a bulletin. Scared the pants off me.”
Anybody here a fan of the LSD? Of course, our horn section raise their hand. Albert Hofmann, the doctor who developed LSD, died this week. He leaves behind a mixed legacy, but there’s no denying the influence he had on our world, as this remembrance points out. Announce: “Albert Hofmann, the scientist who first synthesized LSD, has died at the age of 102. He originally intended the drug to be used for therapeutic purposes, but for better or worse, his legacy will live on in the hallucinatory work of musicians, artists, and disoriented reality show judges. (cut to shot of Paula Abdul)
Hofmann, OUT!”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES Bush: “ . . . and we spent time on our economi . . . . eez.
ACT 2:
We hear a little more about Dave’s relationship with CBS executives. “I have a great relationship with the executives at CBS,” he begins. He tells the time of going to lunch with a handful of them. They all got drunk. Dave couldn’t because he had to entertain America later that day. After lunch the check comes, and all he got was a lot of this from the executives . . . Dave pats at his chest and pockets. None could find their wallet. Figures.
TOP TEN: Surprising Facts About Barack Obama – and to present tonight’s Top Ten list, via satellite from South Bend, Indiana, Democratic candidate, Senator Barack Obama.
10. “My first act as President will be to stop the fighting between Lauren and Heidi on ‘The Hills’”
9. “In the Illinois Primary, I accidentally voted for Kucinich”
8. “When I tell my kids to clean their room, I finish with, ‘I’m Barack Obama and I approved this message.’”
7. “Throughout high school, I was constantly voted ‘Barackiest’”
6. “Earlier today I bowled a 39”
5. “I have canceled all my appearances the day the ‘Sex and the City’ movie opens”
4. “It’s the birthplace of Fred Astaire . . . . . . I’m sorry, that’s a surprising fact about Ohama.”
3. “We are working tirelessly to get the endorsement of Kentucky Derby favorite Colonel John.”
2. “This has nothing to do with the Top Ten, but what the heck is up with Paula Abdul?”
1. “I haven’t slept since October.”
ACT 3: JOHN GOODMAN
Big John enters with a May Day bouquet for Dave. John likes to celebrate all the May Day traditions, such as taking a naked dip in the Hudson just to see the tide rise in Jersey, and then getting up at dawn to watch old tapes of the Russian military parades. His kids like to celebrate, too. He has a clip. We see his kids and some from the neighborhood using John as a maypole. Oh, the fun! Makes me almost wish I were communist.
John is the dad of a 17 year old daughter who is now driving and dating. Which is tougher to handle? John laughs and says the driving. His daughter’s been dating this one guy for a few months and seems to be a nice guy. The fellow has already passed one test. Upon their first meeting, John made his way to the kitchen . . . surprise! While in the kitchen he let out a huge belch. His daughter was terribly embarrassed. The boyfriend thought it was funny. DING! There was an instant bonding.
What does John like to do in his free time? John says, “I like to start working out.” I laughed, as it sounded as if it’s something he does often. I know what he means. Every week I start to work out tomorrow. And John enjoys the “Spongebob.” Everything can wait till Monday when “Spongebob” is on.
John’s new film, Speed Racer opens next Friday, May 9th. Dave sees it as a retro-futuristic piece. John agrees, adding “If you’re an adult and you don’t want to do drugs anymore, this movie is for you.”
Does John remember his first car? Sure does. Everyone remembers his first car. John’s was a 1970 Volkswagen Beetle. No heat. Anyone familiar with the 1970 VW beetle knows none ever had heat that worked. That was a given. John made many NYC to St. Louis trips I that thing. His best time: 16-and-a-half hours. Not bad in a bug. Dave’s first car was also a VW beetle without heat. Lots and lots of rust, but no heat. And then one day he went outside and all that was left was dust. The car just . . . fell apart and disintegrated. Speed Racer opens May 9th. We see a clip. But it’s a Shecky clip. It’s old black and white footage of a car tire rolling down hill, or something like that. I may pitch this idea: Next time we show Shecky footage, we should have the guest shown in the corner of the monitor, like in a little side-box. I always like the Shecky footage, but I think I would like to see the reaction of the unsuspecting celebrity as well. Someday when I rule the world, this is how it will be done.
ACT 4:
In a forthcoming interview with “People” magazine, Senator Hillary Clinton said if she could go on a date with anyone, she’d choose Abraham Lincoln. Dave tries to contact the spirit of Abraham Lincoln to see who he would choose to go on a date with. Dave goes into a trance, advising those near not to approach the desk.
Soon we see the image of Abraham Lincoln appear.
Lincoln speaks: “If I were able to go on a date with anyone of my choosing, I would select the comely Katherine Chase, a 19th century socialite with the mind of a scholar and the regal bearing of a Queen.”
The image fades.
Dave found that very interesting and feels as if he learned something.
The image of Abraham Lincoln reappears. Lincoln adds, “ . . . or Jessica Alba.”
Dave says he has to agree with Abe on that one.
ACT 5: Alan announce: “Hey, America, do you like magic? Well, then you’re going to love ‘Late Show Magician Week!’ Join Dave on Monday as he welcomes Lance Burton;
Tuesday, the comedy of magic with Mac King.
Wednesday, the extreme magic of Dirk Arthur.
Thursday, the real magic of Steve Wyrick.
And on Friday, Penn & Teller.
Late Show Magician Week! It’s going to be abracadabra-rific!
We’ll be right back.”
ACT 6: BEAR GRYLLS
From the Discovery Channel’s “Man vs. Wild.” He is dropped off in the middle of the wilderness all by himself and a camera crew and he has to survive with nothing but his wits. It’s a very successful and interesting show. Since he was last here, Bear Grylls and the program ran into some controversy about certain untruths. Instead of roughing it in the desert or tundra or jungle for days on end, he’s been accused of spending much of that time at a Holiday Inn or Motel 6. Bear says he’s not the superhero he has led some to believe. Yes, what he does is very rugged but a lot is left out in the editing of the show. It’s since been decided that they would show everything, explain everything. Situations may be “created” in order for Bear Grylls to teach how to safely confront it. But that is now explained on the show. After the accusations, much which were found to be true, have led to other wild accusations that are far from the truth. In the meantime, Bear will continue to eat eyeballs and drink pee to survive in the wild.
I’ve watched a few episodes of “Man vs. Wild” and find it fascinating and informative. If I ever find myself in the Australian Outback without a canteen, I now may be able to survive a few hours longer than before. What I wish Bear would confront is cross-town traffic on a summer Friday afternoon. How do you survive that is what I would like to know.
“Man vs. Wild” – Friday’s at 9:00 on the Discovery Channel. And look for the book, now in stores!
ACT 7: ROBYN: From her CD, “Robyn,” Robyn performed “Cobrastyle.” Her band mates were wearing bear heads.
And that was our show for Thursday May 1, 2008.
The Democratic Primary heads to Indiana next week. And earlier today, Hillary Clinton claimed her nickname in high school was Knute.
Cold nights here in the metropolitan area recently. Last night I brought in my potted impatiens and put them in the garage. I was afraid the frost was going to kill ‘em. They suffered a bit the night before but I hope the damage wasn’t too great. I’ll have to talk to them tonight when I get home.
If you didn’t read the Wahoo Gazette, you’d miss out on exciting stuff like this.
I saw something in the New York Times “Corrections: For The Record” column.
The Times incorrectly referred to Shirley Temple’s song “On The Good Ship Lollipop” as it being a seagoing ship. This was incorrect. The Good Ship Lollipop refers to an aircraft. This, from the seldom-heard opening lyrics:
“I’ve thrown away my toys.
Even my drum and train.
I wanna make some nose
With real live aeroplanes.
Some day I’m going to fly.
I’ll be a pilot, too.
And when I do, how would you
Like to be my crew.”
Now you know. And now you have something to bring up at the table for Mother’s Day.
Isabella Rossellini is on the show Friday night. She brings with her one of the more interesting movie clips I have seen here on the show. It’s very fascinating and it’ll have you talking for days. Be warned: it’s rated M.
OK, so the New York Rangers won Game 4 against the Pittsburgh Penguins. They were at home and they should have won. They are now down 3-1. The next game is in Pittsburgh, Game 5, and that’s the big game. That’s the one they have to pull the upset. IF they win that game, then it’s back to New York where they should win and then back to Pittsburgh for Game 7. If it gets that far, you’ll be hearing a lot about the 1975 Penguins vs. the New York Islanders. I know, I know, most of the players on both teams weren’t born yet in 1975 but that doesn’t matter; the sports writers were and they are always on the look out for an angle.
The Kentucky Derby is on Saturday. My picks: The first thing I do is put down $10 on the 5-3 Exacta. My father-in-law was born on May 3rd and he used to always bet the long shots. In his honor, I’ll be putting $10 on Eight Belles (15-1) to win; Anak Nakal (30-1) to place. Add to the fact that the Derby is being run on May 3rd and I feel very confident about this wager.
My father’s birthday is May 13th. I’ll be putting $10 on the 5-13 Exacta, too; Eight Belles (15-1) to win; Bob Black Jack (20-1) to place. Add to the fact that I have a brother Bob and a brother Jack and I feel very confident about this wager.
OK, with that out of the way . . . my one horse to win . . . I’ve been liking Bob Black Jack (20-1) all week. I’ll probably put $30 on it to win.
Some years ago, the Derby horse Giacomo jumped out at me. I liked him because he reminded my of former New York Ranger goalie Eddie Giacomin, but when I saw he was 50-1 I allowed myself to think otherwise. I didn’t put $30 on Giacomo. Of course, Giacomo won and I was out of a big payday.
And now my 5-3 Exacta story.
Some years back Denise and I traveled to Saratoga Springs in upstate New York to enjoy a day of the thoroughbreds. This was not too long after her father had passed away. Late as always, we settled in just as the first race went off. The winner was the 5 horse. 2nd place was the #3. That was the 5-3 Exacta. I cursed myself for missing out on the bet. Denise and I laughed and cried a bit thinking of her father looking down at us and shaking his head with a big grin. I felt like an idiot because of the missed opportunity and I was sure he was laughing at me someplace in purgatory. While Denise and I were busy blaming each other, the 2nd race went off. Of course you know what happened. Once again the 5-3 combo came in and we hadn’t gotten our bet in. Now I was sure her father was mad at us. It was no longer funny. So mad was he that the 5-3 didn’t come in the rest of the day. Now whenever I’m at the track or at the OTB, 5-3 is automatic.
There are 20 horses running at the Kentucky Derby . . . will your birthday be the Exacta?
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER Greg Evans
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER.
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
John Goodman; Bear Grylls; and Robyn. PLUS:“Mission Accomplished”; Dave Discusses Sexual Activities; a News Bulletin; Dr. Albert Hofmann; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; a Visit From the Spirit of Abraham Lincoln; and a Special Top Ten from Senator Barack Obama.
“ . . . and now, making his network television debut . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
During the pre-show Q&A, a guy in the audience asked Dave how he got along with the CBS executives. Dave is still laughing just thinking about it.
Today is the 5th Anniversary of George W. Bush’s "Mission Accomplished” speech. Have you seen this message from the White House? We watch. Announce: “Today is the 5th anniversary of President George W. Bush’s infamous ‘Mission Accomplished’ speech. While we admit this speech was premature, we would like to highlight George W. Bush’s other accomplishments.”
Cut to static.
Cut to a shot of the White House. Announce: “The White House. We’re going to have to get back to you on this one.”
Dave turns and throws the blue card through the window behind him. It was one of his greatest tosses of all time. Dave proudly exclaims it cleared the George Washington Bridge and is on its way to Bayonne. BUZZ. If it cleared the GW Bridge from a toss at West 53rd Street, the blue card would either land in north Jersey or Rockland County, New York. Bayonne is south of West 53rd and across the Hudson.
Dave is a student of human behavior, majoring in their sexual proclivities. Over the years he has learned this: Humans are the only beings capable of phone sex. And there is a new sex study that has found that the smarter the woman is, the less likely she is to be good in bed. The researchers have released this explanation of their findings. Announce: “In a recent study, scientists found that smarter women tend to be worse in bed than women of lower intelligence. The researchers came to this conclusion after conducting interviews with hundreds of women, asking their partners about their sexual activity and comparing the Paris Hilton sex tape with the Ruth Bader Ginsburg sex tape.
A message from the National Slut Council.”
We hear the sounds of an impending news bulletin. It catches Dave’s ear and he searches for the urgent information. It’s not on any of the blue cards. There is nothing on his cue cards. The sound effect then disappears. There is no news bulletin. We had just the sound effects of a news bulletin. A relieved Dave gushes, “Oh, I thought I had to read a bulletin. Scared the pants off me.”
Anybody here a fan of the LSD? Of course, our horn section raise their hand. Albert Hofmann, the doctor who developed LSD, died this week. He leaves behind a mixed legacy, but there’s no denying the influence he had on our world, as this remembrance points out. Announce: “Albert Hofmann, the scientist who first synthesized LSD, has died at the age of 102. He originally intended the drug to be used for therapeutic purposes, but for better or worse, his legacy will live on in the hallucinatory work of musicians, artists, and disoriented reality show judges. (cut to shot of Paula Abdul)
Hofmann, OUT!”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES Bush: “ . . . and we spent time on our economi . . . . eez.
ACT 2:
We hear a little more about Dave’s relationship with CBS executives. “I have a great relationship with the executives at CBS,” he begins. He tells the time of going to lunch with a handful of them. They all got drunk. Dave couldn’t because he had to entertain America later that day. After lunch the check comes, and all he got was a lot of this from the executives . . . Dave pats at his chest and pockets. None could find their wallet. Figures.
TOP TEN: Surprising Facts About Barack Obama – and to present tonight’s Top Ten list, via satellite from South Bend, Indiana, Democratic candidate, Senator Barack Obama.
10. “My first act as President will be to stop the fighting between Lauren and Heidi on ‘The Hills’”
9. “In the Illinois Primary, I accidentally voted for Kucinich”
8. “When I tell my kids to clean their room, I finish with, ‘I’m Barack Obama and I approved this message.’”
7. “Throughout high school, I was constantly voted ‘Barackiest’”
6. “Earlier today I bowled a 39”
5. “I have canceled all my appearances the day the ‘Sex and the City’ movie opens”
4. “It’s the birthplace of Fred Astaire . . . . . . I’m sorry, that’s a surprising fact about Ohama.”
3. “We are working tirelessly to get the endorsement of Kentucky Derby favorite Colonel John.”
2. “This has nothing to do with the Top Ten, but what the heck is up with Paula Abdul?”
1. “I haven’t slept since October.”
ACT 3: JOHN GOODMAN
Big John enters with a May Day bouquet for Dave. John likes to celebrate all the May Day traditions, such as taking a naked dip in the Hudson just to see the tide rise in Jersey, and then getting up at dawn to watch old tapes of the Russian military parades. His kids like to celebrate, too. He has a clip. We see his kids and some from the neighborhood using John as a maypole. Oh, the fun! Makes me almost wish I were communist.
John is the dad of a 17 year old daughter who is now driving and dating. Which is tougher to handle? John laughs and says the driving. His daughter’s been dating this one guy for a few months and seems to be a nice guy. The fellow has already passed one test. Upon their first meeting, John made his way to the kitchen . . . surprise! While in the kitchen he let out a huge belch. His daughter was terribly embarrassed. The boyfriend thought it was funny. DING! There was an instant bonding.
What does John like to do in his free time? John says, “I like to start working out.” I laughed, as it sounded as if it’s something he does often. I know what he means. Every week I start to work out tomorrow. And John enjoys the “Spongebob.” Everything can wait till Monday when “Spongebob” is on.
John’s new film, Speed Racer opens next Friday, May 9th. Dave sees it as a retro-futuristic piece. John agrees, adding “If you’re an adult and you don’t want to do drugs anymore, this movie is for you.”
Does John remember his first car? Sure does. Everyone remembers his first car. John’s was a 1970 Volkswagen Beetle. No heat. Anyone familiar with the 1970 VW beetle knows none ever had heat that worked. That was a given. John made many NYC to St. Louis trips I that thing. His best time: 16-and-a-half hours. Not bad in a bug. Dave’s first car was also a VW beetle without heat. Lots and lots of rust, but no heat. And then one day he went outside and all that was left was dust. The car just . . . fell apart and disintegrated. Speed Racer opens May 9th. We see a clip. But it’s a Shecky clip. It’s old black and white footage of a car tire rolling down hill, or something like that. I may pitch this idea: Next time we show Shecky footage, we should have the guest shown in the corner of the monitor, like in a little side-box. I always like the Shecky footage, but I think I would like to see the reaction of the unsuspecting celebrity as well. Someday when I rule the world, this is how it will be done.
ACT 4:
In a forthcoming interview with “People” magazine, Senator Hillary Clinton said if she could go on a date with anyone, she’d choose Abraham Lincoln. Dave tries to contact the spirit of Abraham Lincoln to see who he would choose to go on a date with. Dave goes into a trance, advising those near not to approach the desk.
Soon we see the image of Abraham Lincoln appear.
Lincoln speaks: “If I were able to go on a date with anyone of my choosing, I would select the comely Katherine Chase, a 19th century socialite with the mind of a scholar and the regal bearing of a Queen.”
The image fades.
Dave found that very interesting and feels as if he learned something.
The image of Abraham Lincoln reappears. Lincoln adds, “ . . . or Jessica Alba.”
Dave says he has to agree with Abe on that one.
ACT 5: Alan announce: “Hey, America, do you like magic? Well, then you’re going to love ‘Late Show Magician Week!’ Join Dave on Monday as he welcomes Lance Burton;
Tuesday, the comedy of magic with Mac King.
Wednesday, the extreme magic of Dirk Arthur.
Thursday, the real magic of Steve Wyrick.
And on Friday, Penn & Teller.
Late Show Magician Week! It’s going to be abracadabra-rific!
We’ll be right back.”
ACT 6: BEAR GRYLLS
From the Discovery Channel’s “Man vs. Wild.” He is dropped off in the middle of the wilderness all by himself and a camera crew and he has to survive with nothing but his wits. It’s a very successful and interesting show. Since he was last here, Bear Grylls and the program ran into some controversy about certain untruths. Instead of roughing it in the desert or tundra or jungle for days on end, he’s been accused of spending much of that time at a Holiday Inn or Motel 6. Bear says he’s not the superhero he has led some to believe. Yes, what he does is very rugged but a lot is left out in the editing of the show. It’s since been decided that they would show everything, explain everything. Situations may be “created” in order for Bear Grylls to teach how to safely confront it. But that is now explained on the show. After the accusations, much which were found to be true, have led to other wild accusations that are far from the truth. In the meantime, Bear will continue to eat eyeballs and drink pee to survive in the wild.
I’ve watched a few episodes of “Man vs. Wild” and find it fascinating and informative. If I ever find myself in the Australian Outback without a canteen, I now may be able to survive a few hours longer than before. What I wish Bear would confront is cross-town traffic on a summer Friday afternoon. How do you survive that is what I would like to know.
“Man vs. Wild” – Friday’s at 9:00 on the Discovery Channel. And look for the book, now in stores!
ACT 7: ROBYN: From her CD, “Robyn,” Robyn performed “Cobrastyle.” Her band mates were wearing bear heads.
And that was our show for Thursday May 1, 2008.
The Democratic Primary heads to Indiana next week. And earlier today, Hillary Clinton claimed her nickname in high school was Knute.
Cold nights here in the metropolitan area recently. Last night I brought in my potted impatiens and put them in the garage. I was afraid the frost was going to kill ‘em. They suffered a bit the night before but I hope the damage wasn’t too great. I’ll have to talk to them tonight when I get home.
If you didn’t read the Wahoo Gazette, you’d miss out on exciting stuff like this.
I saw something in the New York Times “Corrections: For The Record” column.
The Times incorrectly referred to Shirley Temple’s song “On The Good Ship Lollipop” as it being a seagoing ship. This was incorrect. The Good Ship Lollipop refers to an aircraft. This, from the seldom-heard opening lyrics:
“I’ve thrown away my toys.
Even my drum and train.
I wanna make some nose
With real live aeroplanes.
Some day I’m going to fly.
I’ll be a pilot, too.
And when I do, how would you
Like to be my crew.”
Now you know. And now you have something to bring up at the table for Mother’s Day.
Isabella Rossellini is on the show Friday night. She brings with her one of the more interesting movie clips I have seen here on the show. It’s very fascinating and it’ll have you talking for days. Be warned: it’s rated M.
OK, so the New York Rangers won Game 4 against the Pittsburgh Penguins. They were at home and they should have won. They are now down 3-1. The next game is in Pittsburgh, Game 5, and that’s the big game. That’s the one they have to pull the upset. IF they win that game, then it’s back to New York where they should win and then back to Pittsburgh for Game 7. If it gets that far, you’ll be hearing a lot about the 1975 Penguins vs. the New York Islanders. I know, I know, most of the players on both teams weren’t born yet in 1975 but that doesn’t matter; the sports writers were and they are always on the look out for an angle.
The Kentucky Derby is on Saturday. My picks: The first thing I do is put down $10 on the 5-3 Exacta. My father-in-law was born on May 3rd and he used to always bet the long shots. In his honor, I’ll be putting $10 on Eight Belles (15-1) to win; Anak Nakal (30-1) to place. Add to the fact that the Derby is being run on May 3rd and I feel very confident about this wager.
My father’s birthday is May 13th. I’ll be putting $10 on the 5-13 Exacta, too; Eight Belles (15-1) to win; Bob Black Jack (20-1) to place. Add to the fact that I have a brother Bob and a brother Jack and I feel very confident about this wager.
OK, with that out of the way . . . my one horse to win . . . I’ve been liking Bob Black Jack (20-1) all week. I’ll probably put $30 on it to win.
Some years ago, the Derby horse Giacomo jumped out at me. I liked him because he reminded my of former New York Ranger goalie Eddie Giacomin, but when I saw he was 50-1 I allowed myself to think otherwise. I didn’t put $30 on Giacomo. Of course, Giacomo won and I was out of a big payday.
And now my 5-3 Exacta story.
Some years back Denise and I traveled to Saratoga Springs in upstate New York to enjoy a day of the thoroughbreds. This was not too long after her father had passed away. Late as always, we settled in just as the first race went off. The winner was the 5 horse. 2nd place was the #3. That was the 5-3 Exacta. I cursed myself for missing out on the bet. Denise and I laughed and cried a bit thinking of her father looking down at us and shaking his head with a big grin. I felt like an idiot because of the missed opportunity and I was sure he was laughing at me someplace in purgatory. While Denise and I were busy blaming each other, the 2nd race went off. Of course you know what happened. Once again the 5-3 combo came in and we hadn’t gotten our bet in. Now I was sure her father was mad at us. It was no longer funny. So mad was he that the 5-3 didn’t come in the rest of the day. Now whenever I’m at the track or at the OTB, 5-3 is automatic.
There are 20 horses running at the Kentucky Derby . . . will your birthday be the Exacta?
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER Greg Evans
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER.
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • 5th Anniversary of Bush's "Mission Accomplished" Speech • Smarter Woman Is Not Good In Bed VT • News Bulletin Sound • Albert Hofmann Died This Week • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
ACT 2 • Top Ten Surprising Facts About Barack Obama Read now
ACT 3 • John Goodman
ACT 4 • Dave Contacts the Spirit of Abraham Lincoln
