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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Craig Ferguson; Ira Glass; and The Black Crowes. PLUS:Trouble at CNN; a Scene from “John Adams”; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; Late Show Fun Facts; An Order of Jamba Juice; and Todd Neufeld and His Balloons.
“ . . . and now, inventor of the robot vacuum cleaner . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Tonight in the green room, we have Todd Neufeld of Brooklyn, New York who is a professional balloon artist. He’s been at this for 9 years. Tonight he will be making a likeness of our stage manager Biff Henderson using balloons. Other Biff portraits done on the show:
Tattoo on kid’s leg.
Ice sculpture
Legos
Dominoes
Cheese
Post-It Notes
Bubble Gum
Ketchup
Chalk on sidewalk
Sand
Etch-A-Sketch.
Todd is also graduated from Boston University Law School with a degree in patent law. When Dave asks about his degree, Todd says, “I don’t practice law. I do balloons full time.”
Let’s take a moment and think of Todd’s parents right now . . . . probably still paying off his school loans. And here he is making a living playing with balloons.
Immediately after typing the above about Todd’s parents, I decided to Google “Todd Neufeld” and “Parents.” I didn’t want to say something unknowingly tragically inappropriate. What did I find? Right there on Todd’s website, under “What People Are Saying,” was this:
"For this you spent $100,000 on law school? You're crazy." -- Todd's parents.
That’s understandable. But how many patent lawyers have been asked to be on the LATE SHOW? None.
Have we ever had on the show a patent lawyer who is also balloon artist? Yes. One. Todd Neufeld.
Todd’s site: http://www.balloonshow.com/learning/shinfo.htm
We will take a look at the finished product later in the show.
During the pre-show Q&A, a woman in the audience said something about Jamba Juice. She either wanted one or wanted to get Dave one or something. Whichever, Dave decided to send Philomena out across the street to pick up a couple juices.
A CNN anchorman was arrested in Central Park over the weekend under some very bizarre circumstances. If that wasn’t bad enough for CNN, we look at what aired earlier tonight.
We see Larry King . . . shirtless. Very odd. And he just signed a new contract!
How’s Biff doing with Todd? We take a look in the green room. Todd just started. Dave looks at what Todd has so far and exclaims, “What is that, his colon?” This may turn out to be very interesting.
Dave is thrilled with the HBO production of the miniseries, John Adams. He has learned so much from it. We take a look at a clip from last night’s installment.
We see Chris Elliott in the role of John Adams. He asks his wife to get him something. Enters his wife Abigail, played by Gerard Mulligan. Abigail has just about had enough with John’s constant demands and lets him know. The back-and-forth between President Adams and wife Abbi is frenetic and comical. And who knew they had a laugh-track back then?
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES Bush: “ . . . and . . . uhhh . . . that that that . . . uhhh . . . making decisions . . . . . . that . . . . uhhh . . . . .”
ACT 2:
Dave loves the Jamba Juice . . . one Jamba Juice, that is. The first one is always so good that you want another. And that’s where you run into problems. Halfway through the second one and you become violently ill.
Philomena returns with the Jamba Juice. Earlier this week, we learned the sugar in the Jamba Juice creates an angry Dave. If true, I hope it kicks when I’m halfway home.
Dave shares his order of Jamba and brings one over to his pal, Paul.
LATE SHOW FUN FACTS
Accompanied by this letter:
Dear Mr. Letterman,
I’m pleased to enclose the latest Fun Facts compiled by the FBMI.
Hey, ‘Lost’ fans! Don’t miss next month’s season finale. While I can’t give you details, I’ll just say that the FBMI is crucial to the plot, and several mysteries will be cleared up thanks to a guest appearance by yours truly.
Sincerely,
Gary Sherman
FBMI – Federal Bureau of Miscellaneous Information.
And then we had Fun Facts; sometimes fun, sometimes informative, sometimes both!
ACT 3:
We check in on the balloon guy to see how things are going. Paul scratches his head and says it looks like Todd started out by making Biff’s penis. DOH!!! Dave walks over and takes away Paul’s Jamba Juice and gives it to Felicia.
CRAIG FERGUSON: he’s the guy from the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, a Worldwide Pants production. WWP painted themselves into a corner when they named the program the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson because if they couldn’t find a funny and talented Craig Ferguson they would have been screwed. Luckily, things worked out.
While here in New York, Craig and his son went sightseeing. The other night they went to see Mary Poppins. His son was bored. Craig says he can now safely say he’s not gay. And then they went to the top of the Empire State Building. They bought souvenirs. They wanted to get a DAVE pen but they were all out, so Craig got Dave a “Miguel” pen.
Congratulations to Craig for recently becoming a United States citizen. Craig’s not sure how it happened but since then he’s become a big NASCAR fan. He guesses it comes with the citizenship. And Craig thanks Dave for the Citizenship present he sent. Dave shipped a bunch of Lobel meat to Craig. Now you may laugh at getting a gift of meat, but if you’ve ever had the Lobel’s . . . mmmmmm, now that’s some kinda meat. It really is that good.
And Saturday night, Craig will be the featured entertainer at the White House Correspondents Association Dinner. This is the dinner where the comedian always gets into trouble for saying the wrong thing the wrong way. It’s followed by a lot of “How could you?!!” And I always wonder, “Didn’t they look at his audition tape?” I’ll be looking for the reviews Sunday morning. Hey, I just remembered we can see it LIVE on C-Span Saturday night at 8:00! If you’re doing nothing, and I imagine most Wahoo readers have nothing to do on Saturday nights, check it out.
ACT 4:
Dave wonders aloud, “As much as I talk about Jamba Juice you’d think they’d send me something.” I’ll be coming in early Monday, just in case.
Let’s check in with Todd Neufeld and Biff. Ta da! It’s quite a balloon piece. Once you take it all in, you do see the Biff come through. Nice work, Todd.
ACT 5: Announce: “Monday on the Late Show, Dave is joined by Gwyneth Paltrow, Richard Lewis, and musical group The Roots with Chrisette Michele. The United States Surgeon General says watching this show will not only make you laugh but it will also lower your cholesterol.”
ACT 6:
Dave again praises the great taste of the Jamba Juice. Paul pipes, “What little I had was tasty, too.”
IRA GLASS: From radio and TV’s This American Life.
Ira has been having some problems with his dog. His pit bull has a lot of issues. Ooooh, that can’t be good . . . a pit bull with issues. But in this case, it’s nothing to fear. His pit bull doesn’t realize he’s a pit bull. Ira will take it out for a walk and they can pass a toy poodle and his pit bull will cower behind Ira. The pit bull is anxious and scared of everything. He took the dog to a doctor and was prescribed Prozac. The same Prozac given to people? Yeah, but it is meat-flavored. The Prozac didn’t work so now the dog is on Zoloft.
Ira has hired a trainer to work with his dog. The trainer brought along his own dog “Sadie” to see how the two would get along. Ira noticed that his dog seemed very happy when Sadie is around. This is a great relief to Ira. But now he’s afraid his dog will someday learn that Ira had to “hire a friend” for him. The dog’s best friend is someone who had to be paid to be there. That won’t be good for his ego.
Dave enjoys Ira’s work on the radio in “This American Life.” We learn that Ira is a big fan of Howard Stern, which doesn’t sit too well with a lot of his “This American Life” listeners. Like any successful business person, Ira borrows . . . or steals . . . from those he admires. He admits to stealing some ideas from the Howard Stern show and it has worked out quite well. And he admits to stealing an idea from the Metropolitan Opera. The Met broadcasts operas LIVE once a month to theaters all over the country. Ira decided to try that with his radio show. “This American Life – LIVE!” – Thursday, May 1st. Look for it. It’s one time only.
ACT 7: THE BLACK CROWES: From their new CD, “Warpaint,” The Black Crowes performed “Wounded Bird.”
And that was our show for Monday April 21, 2008.
The Democratic Primaries are headed to Indiana next week and Hillary has wasted no time. Earlier today, she claimed she was 1957’s Mr. Basketball.
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg isn’t giving up with his congestion pricing plan. He wants to charge motorists $8 to enter downtown and midtown Manhattan to help reduce traffic. I have a better idea: Make Passover year-round. Driving has been great this week.
The other day I mentioned the playground apparatus known in these parts as a “sliding pond.” I recently learned the term was very regional, used only here and not elsewhere
From Rochester, New York (I think): “I have never heard of a sliding pond.”
From Santa Paula, California: “Never heard of a sliding pond. Fill us in.”
From Vermont: "’Sliding pond’? I have never heard the expression.”
From Des Moines, Iowa: “I never heard the term ‘sliding pond’”
From California: “No idea what it means. I wondered if you'd lost your marbles and were just babbling.”
No, I have not lost my marbles. Yes, I was babbling.
I could go on and on and list all the responses I received, but I think I’ll stop here.
Of course, a sliding pond is known by most as simply a “slide.” I googled “sliding pond” to find out more. I then discovered I had already covered this subject in the August 25, 2006 Wahoo Gazette.
What’s your local colloquialism? Got one? And did I use “colloquialsm” correctly?
Next up: “Chips on the bat”
Hey, you don’t like the white print on the black back ground seen here in the Wahoo? Then go to the top right corner above and click on “black” by the “change text color.”
Congratulations to the Goshen High School production of "Li’l Abner" in Orange County, New York. The reviews are coming in full of raves. And bravo to Joe Pietropaolo for his outstanding performance.
Do you have a high school show you want to tout? Let’s hear it! They deserve it.
The last few days I’ve been monitoring how accurate the 5, 6, and 7-day weather forecasts are. In my one lone sample, the 5th day was pretty accurate, but Day 6 and 7 missed. I’ve always wanted to do an in-depth study on the 5th day of a 5-Day Weather Forecast but never had the time, energy, or willingness to do it. This if the first I ever got around to dabbling in it after mentioning it many years ago in a Wahoo. And then what is in the New York Times on Monday? An article and a study on this exact topic. Thanks to Chris Parson of Raleigh, North Carolina for bringing this to my attention. http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/04/21/ how-valid-are-tv-weather-forecasts/
I really enjoyed these three quotes from the article.
Comments of the local meteorologists and their station managers:
- “We have no idea what’s going to happen [in the weather] beyond three days out.”
- “There’s not an evaluation of accuracy in hiring meteorologists. Presentation takes precedence over accuracy.”
- “All that viewers care about is the next day. Accuracy is not a big deal to viewers.”
Even though it’s not very accurate, I still like the 5-day forecast. But there is too much weather on the news. And too much “coming up later . . .” The local news only has 22 minutes. I wouldn’t be surprised if half of that is weather, sports, and “coming up later.”
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Dundas, Ontario, it’s Dale Stevens.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Craig Ferguson; Ira Glass; and The Black Crowes. PLUS:Trouble at CNN; a Scene from “John Adams”; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; Late Show Fun Facts; An Order of Jamba Juice; and Todd Neufeld and His Balloons.
“ . . . and now, inventor of the robot vacuum cleaner . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Tonight in the green room, we have Todd Neufeld of Brooklyn, New York who is a professional balloon artist. He’s been at this for 9 years. Tonight he will be making a likeness of our stage manager Biff Henderson using balloons. Other Biff portraits done on the show:
Tattoo on kid’s leg.
Ice sculpture
Legos
Dominoes
Cheese
Post-It Notes
Bubble Gum
Ketchup
Chalk on sidewalk
Sand
Etch-A-Sketch.
Todd is also graduated from Boston University Law School with a degree in patent law. When Dave asks about his degree, Todd says, “I don’t practice law. I do balloons full time.”
Let’s take a moment and think of Todd’s parents right now . . . . probably still paying off his school loans. And here he is making a living playing with balloons.
Immediately after typing the above about Todd’s parents, I decided to Google “Todd Neufeld” and “Parents.” I didn’t want to say something unknowingly tragically inappropriate. What did I find? Right there on Todd’s website, under “What People Are Saying,” was this:
"For this you spent $100,000 on law school? You're crazy." -- Todd's parents.
That’s understandable. But how many patent lawyers have been asked to be on the LATE SHOW? None.
Have we ever had on the show a patent lawyer who is also balloon artist? Yes. One. Todd Neufeld.
Todd’s site: http://www.balloonshow.com/learning/shinfo.htm
We will take a look at the finished product later in the show.
During the pre-show Q&A, a woman in the audience said something about Jamba Juice. She either wanted one or wanted to get Dave one or something. Whichever, Dave decided to send Philomena out across the street to pick up a couple juices.
A CNN anchorman was arrested in Central Park over the weekend under some very bizarre circumstances. If that wasn’t bad enough for CNN, we look at what aired earlier tonight.
We see Larry King . . . shirtless. Very odd. And he just signed a new contract!
How’s Biff doing with Todd? We take a look in the green room. Todd just started. Dave looks at what Todd has so far and exclaims, “What is that, his colon?” This may turn out to be very interesting.
Dave is thrilled with the HBO production of the miniseries, John Adams. He has learned so much from it. We take a look at a clip from last night’s installment.
We see Chris Elliott in the role of John Adams. He asks his wife to get him something. Enters his wife Abigail, played by Gerard Mulligan. Abigail has just about had enough with John’s constant demands and lets him know. The back-and-forth between President Adams and wife Abbi is frenetic and comical. And who knew they had a laugh-track back then?
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES Bush: “ . . . and . . . uhhh . . . that that that . . . uhhh . . . making decisions . . . . . . that . . . . uhhh . . . . .”
ACT 2:
Dave loves the Jamba Juice . . . one Jamba Juice, that is. The first one is always so good that you want another. And that’s where you run into problems. Halfway through the second one and you become violently ill.
Philomena returns with the Jamba Juice. Earlier this week, we learned the sugar in the Jamba Juice creates an angry Dave. If true, I hope it kicks when I’m halfway home.
Dave shares his order of Jamba and brings one over to his pal, Paul.
LATE SHOW FUN FACTS
Accompanied by this letter:
Dear Mr. Letterman,
I’m pleased to enclose the latest Fun Facts compiled by the FBMI.
Hey, ‘Lost’ fans! Don’t miss next month’s season finale. While I can’t give you details, I’ll just say that the FBMI is crucial to the plot, and several mysteries will be cleared up thanks to a guest appearance by yours truly.
Sincerely,
Gary Sherman
FBMI – Federal Bureau of Miscellaneous Information.
And then we had Fun Facts; sometimes fun, sometimes informative, sometimes both!
ACT 3:
We check in on the balloon guy to see how things are going. Paul scratches his head and says it looks like Todd started out by making Biff’s penis. DOH!!! Dave walks over and takes away Paul’s Jamba Juice and gives it to Felicia.
CRAIG FERGUSON: he’s the guy from the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, a Worldwide Pants production. WWP painted themselves into a corner when they named the program the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson because if they couldn’t find a funny and talented Craig Ferguson they would have been screwed. Luckily, things worked out.
While here in New York, Craig and his son went sightseeing. The other night they went to see Mary Poppins. His son was bored. Craig says he can now safely say he’s not gay. And then they went to the top of the Empire State Building. They bought souvenirs. They wanted to get a DAVE pen but they were all out, so Craig got Dave a “Miguel” pen.
Congratulations to Craig for recently becoming a United States citizen. Craig’s not sure how it happened but since then he’s become a big NASCAR fan. He guesses it comes with the citizenship. And Craig thanks Dave for the Citizenship present he sent. Dave shipped a bunch of Lobel meat to Craig. Now you may laugh at getting a gift of meat, but if you’ve ever had the Lobel’s . . . mmmmmm, now that’s some kinda meat. It really is that good.
And Saturday night, Craig will be the featured entertainer at the White House Correspondents Association Dinner. This is the dinner where the comedian always gets into trouble for saying the wrong thing the wrong way. It’s followed by a lot of “How could you?!!” And I always wonder, “Didn’t they look at his audition tape?” I’ll be looking for the reviews Sunday morning. Hey, I just remembered we can see it LIVE on C-Span Saturday night at 8:00! If you’re doing nothing, and I imagine most Wahoo readers have nothing to do on Saturday nights, check it out.
ACT 4:
Dave wonders aloud, “As much as I talk about Jamba Juice you’d think they’d send me something.” I’ll be coming in early Monday, just in case.
Let’s check in with Todd Neufeld and Biff. Ta da! It’s quite a balloon piece. Once you take it all in, you do see the Biff come through. Nice work, Todd.
ACT 5: Announce: “Monday on the Late Show, Dave is joined by Gwyneth Paltrow, Richard Lewis, and musical group The Roots with Chrisette Michele. The United States Surgeon General says watching this show will not only make you laugh but it will also lower your cholesterol.”
ACT 6:
Dave again praises the great taste of the Jamba Juice. Paul pipes, “What little I had was tasty, too.”
IRA GLASS: From radio and TV’s This American Life.
Ira has been having some problems with his dog. His pit bull has a lot of issues. Ooooh, that can’t be good . . . a pit bull with issues. But in this case, it’s nothing to fear. His pit bull doesn’t realize he’s a pit bull. Ira will take it out for a walk and they can pass a toy poodle and his pit bull will cower behind Ira. The pit bull is anxious and scared of everything. He took the dog to a doctor and was prescribed Prozac. The same Prozac given to people? Yeah, but it is meat-flavored. The Prozac didn’t work so now the dog is on Zoloft.
Ira has hired a trainer to work with his dog. The trainer brought along his own dog “Sadie” to see how the two would get along. Ira noticed that his dog seemed very happy when Sadie is around. This is a great relief to Ira. But now he’s afraid his dog will someday learn that Ira had to “hire a friend” for him. The dog’s best friend is someone who had to be paid to be there. That won’t be good for his ego.
Dave enjoys Ira’s work on the radio in “This American Life.” We learn that Ira is a big fan of Howard Stern, which doesn’t sit too well with a lot of his “This American Life” listeners. Like any successful business person, Ira borrows . . . or steals . . . from those he admires. He admits to stealing some ideas from the Howard Stern show and it has worked out quite well. And he admits to stealing an idea from the Metropolitan Opera. The Met broadcasts operas LIVE once a month to theaters all over the country. Ira decided to try that with his radio show. “This American Life – LIVE!” – Thursday, May 1st. Look for it. It’s one time only.
ACT 7: THE BLACK CROWES: From their new CD, “Warpaint,” The Black Crowes performed “Wounded Bird.”
And that was our show for Monday April 21, 2008.
The Democratic Primaries are headed to Indiana next week and Hillary has wasted no time. Earlier today, she claimed she was 1957’s Mr. Basketball.
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg isn’t giving up with his congestion pricing plan. He wants to charge motorists $8 to enter downtown and midtown Manhattan to help reduce traffic. I have a better idea: Make Passover year-round. Driving has been great this week.
The other day I mentioned the playground apparatus known in these parts as a “sliding pond.” I recently learned the term was very regional, used only here and not elsewhere
From Rochester, New York (I think): “I have never heard of a sliding pond.”
From Santa Paula, California: “Never heard of a sliding pond. Fill us in.”
From Vermont: "’Sliding pond’? I have never heard the expression.”
From Des Moines, Iowa: “I never heard the term ‘sliding pond’”
From California: “No idea what it means. I wondered if you'd lost your marbles and were just babbling.”
No, I have not lost my marbles. Yes, I was babbling.
I could go on and on and list all the responses I received, but I think I’ll stop here.
Of course, a sliding pond is known by most as simply a “slide.” I googled “sliding pond” to find out more. I then discovered I had already covered this subject in the August 25, 2006 Wahoo Gazette.
What’s your local colloquialism? Got one? And did I use “colloquialsm” correctly?
Next up: “Chips on the bat”
Hey, you don’t like the white print on the black back ground seen here in the Wahoo? Then go to the top right corner above and click on “black” by the “change text color.”
Congratulations to the Goshen High School production of "Li’l Abner" in Orange County, New York. The reviews are coming in full of raves. And bravo to Joe Pietropaolo for his outstanding performance.
Do you have a high school show you want to tout? Let’s hear it! They deserve it.
The last few days I’ve been monitoring how accurate the 5, 6, and 7-day weather forecasts are. In my one lone sample, the 5th day was pretty accurate, but Day 6 and 7 missed. I’ve always wanted to do an in-depth study on the 5th day of a 5-Day Weather Forecast but never had the time, energy, or willingness to do it. This if the first I ever got around to dabbling in it after mentioning it many years ago in a Wahoo. And then what is in the New York Times on Monday? An article and a study on this exact topic. Thanks to Chris Parson of Raleigh, North Carolina for bringing this to my attention. http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/04/21/ how-valid-are-tv-weather-forecasts/
I really enjoyed these three quotes from the article.
Comments of the local meteorologists and their station managers:
- “We have no idea what’s going to happen [in the weather] beyond three days out.”
- “There’s not an evaluation of accuracy in hiring meteorologists. Presentation takes precedence over accuracy.”
- “All that viewers care about is the next day. Accuracy is not a big deal to viewers.”
Even though it’s not very accurate, I still like the 5-day forecast. But there is too much weather on the news. And too much “coming up later . . .” The local news only has 22 minutes. I wouldn’t be surprised if half of that is weather, sports, and “coming up later.”
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Dundas, Ontario, it’s Dale Stevens.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Introduction of Balloon Artist, Todd Neufeld • CNN Anchor Arrested / Larry King Shirtless • "John Adams" Promo • Great Moments In Presidential Speeches
