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THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Renee Zellweger; Gayle King; and Paddy Casey. PLUS: Dave’s Best Friend; Hillary is Awake for You; Bill Richardson on the Phone; a Top Ten List; one of the best Greatest Moments in Presidential Speeches; and We Drop Over 500 Baseballs Off the Roof of the Theater Onto a Car Below.
“ . . . . . and now, former Communist sympathizer . . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
During the monologue, Dave conducted a quick poll: If the election were tomorrow, for whom would you? The response from the audience: 1. Barack 2. McCain 3. Hillary.
You’re here on a very special night. Tonight we will be dropping 500 baseballs from the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater building down onto a parked car on 53rd Street. This is somehow to celebrate the opening of the 2008 baseball season. Pat Farmer, in a Yankee uniform, drops one ball as a sample. This was an extra baseball he had so it would not alter the total of 500 to be dropped. Pat drops a single baseball and it plinks down on the roof of the car. Now, multiply that by 500 and you can imagine what we have planned for later in the show.
Dave is excited to have Gayle King on the program tonight. Not only is she editor-at-large for “O” magazine and not only does she host her own show on radio XM, and not only will she be on this week’s “Oprah’s Big Give,” Gayle King is also Oprah’s best friend. This inspired to bring his best friend to the theater tonight, as well. We take a look at Dave’s best friend, Joe, in his office. Joe looks very excited to be here, in a non-emotional, non-reactive sort of way.
New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson recently endorsed Barack Obama, which infuriated Bill Clinton because of the favors he extended to Richardson over the years. We had Bill Richardson on the phone for him to explain his decision. Dave grabs hold of his desk phone. His new desk phone is a big, heavy, black, rotary phone you don’t see anymore. Dave wonders if we could get Fonzie on this phone. He later picks it up and says, “I’d like the number for ‘Gunsmoke,’ please.”
Dave picks up the phone and asks the Governor: “Thank you for joining us, Governor Richardson. How do you respond to Bill Clinton’s assertion that you betrayed his wife with your endorsement of Barack Obama?”
We hear the Governor respond in a muffled, inaudible, unintelligible manner. Dave asks him to repeat what he said but we still cannot understand the Governor. Dave knows what the problem is: “I think the Governor is having a snack.”
Oh, yeah, we probably should have prefaced the phone call that Governor Bill Richardson is fat.
Hillary Clinton has released another campaign message asking who we can trust to answer the White House phone at 3:00 AM. My guess would be the receptionist. After seeing this campaign commercial, Dave wouldn’t be surprised if this doesn’t garner her some votes. Announce: “It’s 3 AM and your children are sleeping. Suddenly, a phone rings in the White House. How can you be sure that Hillary Clinton will be ready to answer that call? Because if she’s elected president, she will promise to stay awake 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, thanks to a steady dies of espresso, Red Bull, and some crazy Dutch amphetamines she got from Amy Winehouse. Hillary Clinton: No sleep till 2017.
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES – he forgot the middle 8
We see President Bush at what appears to be some kind of telethon to help those in financial trouble due to the mortgage mess. Behind him we see the telephone number to call: 1-888-995-HOPE.
Bush: “And I want my fellow citizens, if you’re worried about your home, to call this number: 1-88-995-HOPE.”
BUZZ.
Bush: “Let me repeat that again, 1-88-995-HOPE.”
BUZZ
Cut to the President talking to some members of that committee.
Cut to the President back to where he was before.
“Danny tells me I gotta get the number right, 1-888-995-HOPE.”
DING!
Twice the President left out an 8.
What made me laugh the most about this clip was when he gave the correct phone number. He emphasized the second 8 as if that was the one he forgot. He remembered to say the first 8 and he remembered to say the last 8. It was the middle 8 he left out.
ACT 2: TOP TEN: Excuses of the Man Caught Having Sex with a Picnic Table
- An Ohio man was arrested after his neighbor videotaped him having sex with a picnic table.
- It was the fourth time he was seen engaged in this alleged activity. Says Dave, “So, apparently they were dating.” #10. Got all worked up after looking through the IKEA catalog. #7. Just broke up with the pool table and didn’t want to be alone. #5. Was curious if I could have sex with anything more flat and lifeless than my wife . . .. Hiyoooooooooo! #3. My doctor said I have restless nuts syndrome.
OK, let’s do this thing with the baseballs. Total number of baseballs: 501. Dave made Pat retrieve the sample ball he had thrown over the ledge earlier.
But first, Alan tells us about the car. Alan: “Dave, it’s a red 1993 Cadillac Seville STS. This car is known for its performance and smooth ride. It comes equipped with a powerful Northstar 32-valve V8 engine, a sport interior with analog gauges, leather upholstery, ABS brakes, and a driver’s side airbag. It has over 150,000 miles and a Blue Book value of $1,500.
Back to you, asspack.”
We are ready. Pat Farmer, assisted by his two assistants, Tom and Eddie, drop a barrel of 501 baseballs down onto the ’93 Cadi 90 feel below. The driver side window was smashed, and 6 cracks were later found on the front windshield. We take another look at the baseball drop from multiple angles.
Wow! What a spectacle! 501 baseballs! My breath was taken away . . . but then I realized it was only me exhaling.
ACT 3: RENEE ZELLWEGER
Renee just recently completed shooting a film in Winnipeg, Canada. The temperature in Winnipeg: 57 below zero. With such cold comes new words, like “Lash-sicles.” It’s so cold little icicles for on your eyelashes. Then there are beard-sicles. I didn’t hear the next one but she may have said “snot-sicles.” What made the cold bearable was knowing the final scene of the film would be shot in Miami. It would take one whole week in Miami to thaw out. Unfortunately, they week they were there it was 47 in Miami. And everyone only had Miami clothes. At times she felt colder in 47 Miami than negative-57 Winnipeg.
Renee has a place here in New York City that is no bigger than Dave’s desk area. She’ll stop in when she is in town and do her laundry in the basement. She likes to do all her laundry at once. The other day she was riding in the elevator and met a woman who was carrying a load of wash. The woman asked, “You’re not doing your laundry, I hope?” Renee was puzzled. The woman sighs, “I’ve heard rumors.” Renee has gotten the reputation as being a laundry-hog. She uses every washing machine and drier in the washroom when she’s doing her laundry. New Yorkers are impressed with celebrities just as long as they don’t screw up traffic, vehicular or pedestrian, and don’t take up too many washing machines at once.
Renee also has a farm house in Connecticut. She lives in the same area as Dave once lived. She admits to traveling around with a real estate agent years ago when the agent asked, “Do you wanna drive by David Letterman’s house?” Renee quickly said yes. Dave smiled a reminiscing smile and said, “That happened quite a bit back then.”
Renee Zellweger’s new film, “Leatherheads,” opens Friday (today). It was directed by and stars the handsome George Clooney.
ACT 5: Announce: “Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave is joined by Ellen Pompeo from ‘Grey’s Anatomy,’ and musicians Jay-Z and Mary J. Blige. Entertainment Weekly is calling this the ‘Can’t Miss Show of the Decade!’ We’ll be right back.”
ACT 6: GAYLE KING
Oprah’s best friend says she would like to meet Joe, Dave’s best friend. Uh, no, Gayle, you don’t want to meet Joe. You should barely want to see him on TV.
Gayle was born in Maryland but lived in Turkey from 1st to 6th grade. She then speaks some Turkish for Dave, and I think that may be a Late Show first. How was that for a kid? Gayle says she didn’t think much of it. To her it was normal. She says we don’t really appreciate our unique childhood experiences until we’re older. She says traveling is so important for a child to see and learn about the world around them.
Gayle is wearing a lovely necklace which Dave admires. As Dave looks and begins to complement her on it, she wonders aloud, “Are you staring at my breasts?” Dave says he was referring to her necklace, but to be honest, yes, I was staring at her breasts.
Gayle had been a news anchor in Connecticut for many years and will often run into someone who will say, “I remember watching you when I was in the 3rd grade . . . this is my son . . . he’s in the 3rd grade.” Ouch.
Gayle recalls making a newscast gaffe years ago when she was first starting out. You have to have your signoff when saying goodnight and one night she says, “Thank you for watching. We’ll all be black next weekend.” She quickly tried to fix it up by adding, “Actually, I’ll still be black but the rest of these guys will just be back because I’m the only one up here.”
She went home that night praying the news director hadn’t seen the show. But the next day in she got the “finger wave” from the director . . . . “Gayle, could I see you a moment.” That’s never good. But in this case she was praised for handling it well.
Last summer, Gayle and Oprah went on a cross-country drive together. That always sounds like a good idea but all that time of forced togetherness can put a strain on any relationship. And the trip together added to the rumors and speculation that Oprah and Gayle could be a lesbian couple. Gayle laughs and says she’s heard all the rumors and says Oprah is just a great great girlfriend, and women who have a friend like that will understand the relationship. A drawback to these rumors is Gayle admits it’s hard enough to get a date on a Saturday night. When there are stories about your possibly being a lesbian are out there, it only makes it harder.
And that was Gayle. Very enjoyable. Very comfortable. Very natural.
Some in the shack hoped Dave would have thanked Ms. King, thrown to commercial, and said, “We’ll be right black.”
ACT 7:
Dave adds one more thing about the lesbian rumor between Oprah and Gayle: “The whole time I’m thinking . . . would it kill ‘em to try?”
PADDY CASEY: From his new album, “Addicted to Company,” Paddy Casey performed “Fear.” I liked it. I liked it in a David Gray sort of way. I hear he’s on all the time on the MTV, which surprised me since I didn’t think MTV played music videos anymore.
And that was our show for Thursday April 3, 2008.
My best friends are the kind that, if we drove cross country, they’d pretend to be asleep at all the tolls.
Did I ever tell you that I bought a rotary phone at a garage sale a few years ago? I think it cost me three bucks. I put it upstairs and you should have seen the smile on my face the first time it rang. Ahhh, the ringing bells of yesterday. I let my girls use it. They picked up the receiver and then looked at me, like, now what? I showed them how it worked. Now they like to show their friends the rotary. This phone will last forever. Strong, sturdy, like a rock. And I got it for just 3 dollars. What a deal!
Hey, when you’re done reading this, check out my wife’s website at www.steppinoutradio.com
It’s all about hope, recovery, and rediscovery. And listen to a 12-step meeting. Hear the inspiring stories of the lost and how they have refound themselves.
Is Steppin’ Out on your local radio station? There’s a good chance it is, as it now can be heard on 70 radio stations in the U.S. and worldwide from the website. Check it out. You’re not alone.
You know what I’d like to see? …. One of those Hillary Clinton campaign commercials where she answers the phone at 3:00 AM. When she picks up, we hear Lt. Len Easton on the other end.
Are you aware of the Congestion Pricing Plan New York City Mayor Bloomberg is trying to pass to reduce traffic in Manhattan? This island of Manhattan runs for about 230 blocks from north to south. He wants to charge commuters $8 to anyone entering below 60th Street. Of course, vehicle commuters are against it. Lots of arguing and debating going back and forth. The mayor barely got past the first hurdle to enact this tax. Hopefully there will be a lot more hurdles ahead of him. It seems as if it would benefit a few to the detriment of many. And I’m surprised at the silence from one very powerful group . . . . . the big money people living on the Upper West Side. The Upper West Side starts at around West 60th Street. I know if I want to get to midtown but don’t want to pay the $8, I’m going to try to park as close to West 60th Street as I can without going past it. Everyone will do this. How congested do you think that neighborhood will become with vehicle traffic if the Congestion Pricing Plan goes into effect?
My plan to fight the traffic is easy. Zero tolerance for double parking on the north and south Avenues during rush hour. Zero tolerance for double parking on the major two-way east and west Streets during rush hour. Zero tolerance for double parking on any side street 20 feet from the north and south Avenues. Let’s try that before we try the expensive Congestion Pricing Plan.
What’s this I read? Mariah Carey now has had more #1 hits than Elvis? More than Elvis Presley, the King? Aye yi yi. What world am I living in?
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
A fan of Smokey Stover, it’s James Langdell
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Renee Zellweger; Gayle King; and Paddy Casey. PLUS: Dave’s Best Friend; Hillary is Awake for You; Bill Richardson on the Phone; a Top Ten List; one of the best Greatest Moments in Presidential Speeches; and We Drop Over 500 Baseballs Off the Roof of the Theater Onto a Car Below.
“ . . . . . and now, former Communist sympathizer . . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
During the monologue, Dave conducted a quick poll: If the election were tomorrow, for whom would you? The response from the audience: 1. Barack 2. McCain 3. Hillary.
You’re here on a very special night. Tonight we will be dropping 500 baseballs from the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater building down onto a parked car on 53rd Street. This is somehow to celebrate the opening of the 2008 baseball season. Pat Farmer, in a Yankee uniform, drops one ball as a sample. This was an extra baseball he had so it would not alter the total of 500 to be dropped. Pat drops a single baseball and it plinks down on the roof of the car. Now, multiply that by 500 and you can imagine what we have planned for later in the show.
Dave is excited to have Gayle King on the program tonight. Not only is she editor-at-large for “O” magazine and not only does she host her own show on radio XM, and not only will she be on this week’s “Oprah’s Big Give,” Gayle King is also Oprah’s best friend. This inspired to bring his best friend to the theater tonight, as well. We take a look at Dave’s best friend, Joe, in his office. Joe looks very excited to be here, in a non-emotional, non-reactive sort of way.
New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson recently endorsed Barack Obama, which infuriated Bill Clinton because of the favors he extended to Richardson over the years. We had Bill Richardson on the phone for him to explain his decision. Dave grabs hold of his desk phone. His new desk phone is a big, heavy, black, rotary phone you don’t see anymore. Dave wonders if we could get Fonzie on this phone. He later picks it up and says, “I’d like the number for ‘Gunsmoke,’ please.”
Dave picks up the phone and asks the Governor: “Thank you for joining us, Governor Richardson. How do you respond to Bill Clinton’s assertion that you betrayed his wife with your endorsement of Barack Obama?”
We hear the Governor respond in a muffled, inaudible, unintelligible manner. Dave asks him to repeat what he said but we still cannot understand the Governor. Dave knows what the problem is: “I think the Governor is having a snack.”
Oh, yeah, we probably should have prefaced the phone call that Governor Bill Richardson is fat.
Hillary Clinton has released another campaign message asking who we can trust to answer the White House phone at 3:00 AM. My guess would be the receptionist. After seeing this campaign commercial, Dave wouldn’t be surprised if this doesn’t garner her some votes. Announce: “It’s 3 AM and your children are sleeping. Suddenly, a phone rings in the White House. How can you be sure that Hillary Clinton will be ready to answer that call? Because if she’s elected president, she will promise to stay awake 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, thanks to a steady dies of espresso, Red Bull, and some crazy Dutch amphetamines she got from Amy Winehouse. Hillary Clinton: No sleep till 2017.
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES – he forgot the middle 8
We see President Bush at what appears to be some kind of telethon to help those in financial trouble due to the mortgage mess. Behind him we see the telephone number to call: 1-888-995-HOPE.
Bush: “And I want my fellow citizens, if you’re worried about your home, to call this number: 1-88-995-HOPE.”
BUZZ.
Bush: “Let me repeat that again, 1-88-995-HOPE.”
BUZZ
Cut to the President talking to some members of that committee.
Cut to the President back to where he was before.
“Danny tells me I gotta get the number right, 1-888-995-HOPE.”
DING!
Twice the President left out an 8.
What made me laugh the most about this clip was when he gave the correct phone number. He emphasized the second 8 as if that was the one he forgot. He remembered to say the first 8 and he remembered to say the last 8. It was the middle 8 he left out.
ACT 2: TOP TEN: Excuses of the Man Caught Having Sex with a Picnic Table
- An Ohio man was arrested after his neighbor videotaped him having sex with a picnic table.
- It was the fourth time he was seen engaged in this alleged activity. Says Dave, “So, apparently they were dating.” #10. Got all worked up after looking through the IKEA catalog. #7. Just broke up with the pool table and didn’t want to be alone. #5. Was curious if I could have sex with anything more flat and lifeless than my wife . . .. Hiyoooooooooo! #3. My doctor said I have restless nuts syndrome.
OK, let’s do this thing with the baseballs. Total number of baseballs: 501. Dave made Pat retrieve the sample ball he had thrown over the ledge earlier.
But first, Alan tells us about the car. Alan: “Dave, it’s a red 1993 Cadillac Seville STS. This car is known for its performance and smooth ride. It comes equipped with a powerful Northstar 32-valve V8 engine, a sport interior with analog gauges, leather upholstery, ABS brakes, and a driver’s side airbag. It has over 150,000 miles and a Blue Book value of $1,500.
Back to you, asspack.”
We are ready. Pat Farmer, assisted by his two assistants, Tom and Eddie, drop a barrel of 501 baseballs down onto the ’93 Cadi 90 feel below. The driver side window was smashed, and 6 cracks were later found on the front windshield. We take another look at the baseball drop from multiple angles.
Wow! What a spectacle! 501 baseballs! My breath was taken away . . . but then I realized it was only me exhaling.
ACT 3: RENEE ZELLWEGER
Renee just recently completed shooting a film in Winnipeg, Canada. The temperature in Winnipeg: 57 below zero. With such cold comes new words, like “Lash-sicles.” It’s so cold little icicles for on your eyelashes. Then there are beard-sicles. I didn’t hear the next one but she may have said “snot-sicles.” What made the cold bearable was knowing the final scene of the film would be shot in Miami. It would take one whole week in Miami to thaw out. Unfortunately, they week they were there it was 47 in Miami. And everyone only had Miami clothes. At times she felt colder in 47 Miami than negative-57 Winnipeg.
Renee has a place here in New York City that is no bigger than Dave’s desk area. She’ll stop in when she is in town and do her laundry in the basement. She likes to do all her laundry at once. The other day she was riding in the elevator and met a woman who was carrying a load of wash. The woman asked, “You’re not doing your laundry, I hope?” Renee was puzzled. The woman sighs, “I’ve heard rumors.” Renee has gotten the reputation as being a laundry-hog. She uses every washing machine and drier in the washroom when she’s doing her laundry. New Yorkers are impressed with celebrities just as long as they don’t screw up traffic, vehicular or pedestrian, and don’t take up too many washing machines at once.
Renee also has a farm house in Connecticut. She lives in the same area as Dave once lived. She admits to traveling around with a real estate agent years ago when the agent asked, “Do you wanna drive by David Letterman’s house?” Renee quickly said yes. Dave smiled a reminiscing smile and said, “That happened quite a bit back then.”
Renee Zellweger’s new film, “Leatherheads,” opens Friday (today). It was directed by and stars the handsome George Clooney.
ACT 5: Announce: “Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave is joined by Ellen Pompeo from ‘Grey’s Anatomy,’ and musicians Jay-Z and Mary J. Blige. Entertainment Weekly is calling this the ‘Can’t Miss Show of the Decade!’ We’ll be right back.”
ACT 6: GAYLE KING
Oprah’s best friend says she would like to meet Joe, Dave’s best friend. Uh, no, Gayle, you don’t want to meet Joe. You should barely want to see him on TV.
Gayle was born in Maryland but lived in Turkey from 1st to 6th grade. She then speaks some Turkish for Dave, and I think that may be a Late Show first. How was that for a kid? Gayle says she didn’t think much of it. To her it was normal. She says we don’t really appreciate our unique childhood experiences until we’re older. She says traveling is so important for a child to see and learn about the world around them.
Gayle is wearing a lovely necklace which Dave admires. As Dave looks and begins to complement her on it, she wonders aloud, “Are you staring at my breasts?” Dave says he was referring to her necklace, but to be honest, yes, I was staring at her breasts.
Gayle had been a news anchor in Connecticut for many years and will often run into someone who will say, “I remember watching you when I was in the 3rd grade . . . this is my son . . . he’s in the 3rd grade.” Ouch.
Gayle recalls making a newscast gaffe years ago when she was first starting out. You have to have your signoff when saying goodnight and one night she says, “Thank you for watching. We’ll all be black next weekend.” She quickly tried to fix it up by adding, “Actually, I’ll still be black but the rest of these guys will just be back because I’m the only one up here.”
She went home that night praying the news director hadn’t seen the show. But the next day in she got the “finger wave” from the director . . . . “Gayle, could I see you a moment.” That’s never good. But in this case she was praised for handling it well.
Last summer, Gayle and Oprah went on a cross-country drive together. That always sounds like a good idea but all that time of forced togetherness can put a strain on any relationship. And the trip together added to the rumors and speculation that Oprah and Gayle could be a lesbian couple. Gayle laughs and says she’s heard all the rumors and says Oprah is just a great great girlfriend, and women who have a friend like that will understand the relationship. A drawback to these rumors is Gayle admits it’s hard enough to get a date on a Saturday night. When there are stories about your possibly being a lesbian are out there, it only makes it harder.
And that was Gayle. Very enjoyable. Very comfortable. Very natural.
Some in the shack hoped Dave would have thanked Ms. King, thrown to commercial, and said, “We’ll be right black.”
ACT 7:
Dave adds one more thing about the lesbian rumor between Oprah and Gayle: “The whole time I’m thinking . . . would it kill ‘em to try?”
PADDY CASEY: From his new album, “Addicted to Company,” Paddy Casey performed “Fear.” I liked it. I liked it in a David Gray sort of way. I hear he’s on all the time on the MTV, which surprised me since I didn’t think MTV played music videos anymore.
And that was our show for Thursday April 3, 2008.
My best friends are the kind that, if we drove cross country, they’d pretend to be asleep at all the tolls.
Did I ever tell you that I bought a rotary phone at a garage sale a few years ago? I think it cost me three bucks. I put it upstairs and you should have seen the smile on my face the first time it rang. Ahhh, the ringing bells of yesterday. I let my girls use it. They picked up the receiver and then looked at me, like, now what? I showed them how it worked. Now they like to show their friends the rotary. This phone will last forever. Strong, sturdy, like a rock. And I got it for just 3 dollars. What a deal!
Hey, when you’re done reading this, check out my wife’s website at www.steppinoutradio.com
It’s all about hope, recovery, and rediscovery. And listen to a 12-step meeting. Hear the inspiring stories of the lost and how they have refound themselves.
Is Steppin’ Out on your local radio station? There’s a good chance it is, as it now can be heard on 70 radio stations in the U.S. and worldwide from the website. Check it out. You’re not alone.
You know what I’d like to see? …. One of those Hillary Clinton campaign commercials where she answers the phone at 3:00 AM. When she picks up, we hear Lt. Len Easton on the other end.
Are you aware of the Congestion Pricing Plan New York City Mayor Bloomberg is trying to pass to reduce traffic in Manhattan? This island of Manhattan runs for about 230 blocks from north to south. He wants to charge commuters $8 to anyone entering below 60th Street. Of course, vehicle commuters are against it. Lots of arguing and debating going back and forth. The mayor barely got past the first hurdle to enact this tax. Hopefully there will be a lot more hurdles ahead of him. It seems as if it would benefit a few to the detriment of many. And I’m surprised at the silence from one very powerful group . . . . . the big money people living on the Upper West Side. The Upper West Side starts at around West 60th Street. I know if I want to get to midtown but don’t want to pay the $8, I’m going to try to park as close to West 60th Street as I can without going past it. Everyone will do this. How congested do you think that neighborhood will become with vehicle traffic if the Congestion Pricing Plan goes into effect?
My plan to fight the traffic is easy. Zero tolerance for double parking on the north and south Avenues during rush hour. Zero tolerance for double parking on the major two-way east and west Streets during rush hour. Zero tolerance for double parking on any side street 20 feet from the north and south Avenues. Let’s try that before we try the expensive Congestion Pricing Plan.
What’s this I read? Mariah Carey now has had more #1 hits than Elvis? More than Elvis Presley, the King? Aye yi yi. What world am I living in?
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
A fan of Smokey Stover, it’s James Langdell
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Dave's Best Friend, Joe, in Dave's Office • Bill Richardson on the Phone • Hillary: No Sleep Till 2017 • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
ACT 2 • Top Ten Excuses of the Man Caught Having Sex with a Picnic Table Read now
• 501 Baseballs Dumped off the Roop Onto a Parked Car
