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TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Woody Harrelson; and Tommy Tiernan. PLUS:A Message from the White House; Ralph Nader Declares; Change Isn’t Easy; McCain Too Old?; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; Late Show Fun Facts; and Will It Float?
“ . . . and now, your yeoman purser on the Pacific Princess . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Today is February 29th and Leap Year Day happens every four years to keep the calendar year synchronized with the astronomical or seasonal year. Did you see this odd announcement? Announce: “Because it’s Leap Year, there’s an extra day in the month of February. Unfortunately, this extra day means an extra 24 hours with his guy.” (photo of President George W. Bush).
A message from the White House. We’re sorry.”
Dave throws the blue card through the window. Glass crash, followed by, Barry White saying, “Ohhhhh, baaaaaabyyyyyy”
Ralph Nader has declared that he will run for President again this year. We have one of his campaign announcements here. Announce: “Many people are asking Ralph Nader why he’s running for president. The answer is simple: he’s running because he believes our two-party system is outdated. He’s running because he wants to see real change in America.
And he’s running because he’s hoping to get some of that hot lobbyist sex like McCain. It doesn’t matter if you’re blonde or brunette, your or old, liberal or conservative. Hell, he’ll even consider a dude at this point.
Ralph Nader: Nadering it up since 1934.”
Dave takes a moment to say how the message this year on the campaign trail is “making change.” Everyone wants to be making change. Dave, speaking from experience, knows making change is not easy. Years ago when he worked at Atlas Supermarket he was manning the cash register when the bill came to $11.80 and the woman gave him $20.00. Dave was frozen. He did not know how to make change. It’s not as easy as it sounds. It makes a fine soundbite, but putting it into action is another story.
Senator John McCain is combating the perception that he’s too old with this new commercial. Announce:“John McCain knows many Americans worry that he’s too old to be President. Rest assured that Senator McCain is in vigorous good health. But in the event of a problem, he’ll hand over power to his younger brother, Raul McCain.”
See a photo of McCain in green fatigues and mustache. “McCain --- Vive El Presidente!”
Dave throws a blue card through the window and we hear a car horn blast, “La Cucuracha”
And now it’s time once again for “Reflections from Comrade Fidel,” a segment based on his newspaper column in Cuba.
We see photos of Fidel with quotes from his most recent column. Fidel: “I don’t care what anyone says. To me, Sally Field will always be Gidget.” Fidel: “When a guy asks me why I wear suspenders, I ask him why he wears a belt.” Fidel: “You know what I like on a bagel? Cream cheese.” Fidel: “I’ve tortured thousands of people in my life, but my idea of torture is a world without Bette Midler.”
Dave then, I think, does a Joe Piscopo impersonation: “And now, ladies and gentlemen, hang on to your wigs and keys . . . .” and introduces GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES.
We see the President, “I think I’m gonna buy the Chancellor a hamburger.”
ACT 2: Dave: “I don’t speak any foreign languages but I fancy myself a linguistic. Back in the Old Country when something was going your way, we would say, ‘weddy . . . weddy weddy nice.’” And if something was offered in which you did not want: “Ehhhhh, no dice.” I’ll be using that this weekend.
LATE SHOW FUN FACTS
- one of the Fun Facts included a mention of Pat Paulsen. Dave smiled when only Paul and he seemed to get the reference. Nope. I was a mere 10-12 years old when I first experienced the dead-pan Pat Paulsen. Very very funny.
ACT 3:
We were going to do a top ten list about Leap Year. I prepared a blue card that contained an error, which I have yet to find. That was just one of the reasons why the Top Ten was not delivered during the show. My blue card read:
- Today is Leap Day.
- Leap Years are needed to keep our calendar in alignment with the earth’s revolutions around the sun.
- It’s takes 365-and-one-quarter days for the earth to revolve around the sun
I think there was a question about the word “revolve” in the third piece of information. “Orbit” would have been the better word, but I think revolve works just as well. For the rest of the show, I worked on finding information about the reasoning for Leap Year and if “revolve” was the correct verb. While I was digging, the rest of the show progressed.
WOODY HARRELSON: I heard lots of laughter during Woody’s two segments. Something said by Dave or Woody was perceived by the audience as sexual and then everything that followed also seemed to have a sexual reference, no matter how innocent the statement. I later heard that the term “tea-bagging” was used. This brought a big reaction from the audience. In fact, it was suggested after the show that the term should be bleeped. Huh? With some digging, we found that tea-bagging is a term used in kite surfing, the activity Woody was discussing.
I found this from a kite surfing website:
“Use a helmet, especially if you have a leash attached to a kite board. In certain conditions, when the rider falls and is dragged up and down, in the water (known as ‘tea bagging’), the board with a leash has a slingshot effect, and may become a dangerous projectile striking the rider in the head.”
Woody Harrelson is in the film Semi-Pro, along with Will Ferrell, which is in theaters now. It looks to be typical Will Ferrell fare, which is silly, stupid, funny, and satisfying.
ACT 5: Announce: “Monday on the Late Show, Dave is joined by actress Kate Hudson and ‘Jungle’ Jack Hanna. Set your TIVOs to hilarious!
We’ll be right back.
ACT 6: WILL IT FLOAT: It’s been awhile since we’ve played “Will It Float.” That’s because we’ve been speaking to focus groups and we have learned that people say they hate it . . . but that never stops us.
Tonight’s item: a cat scratching post. It’s not made of wood, but particle board. Well, in my buoyancy book, particle board is wood. Dave and Paul see it the same way and they each declare it will float. They are playing for a satellite dish.
The LATE SHOW models drop the item into the Will It Float tank and it . . . . floats!
ACT 7: TOMMY TIERNAN: Again, I was busy during the set but the laughs were long, the laughs were loud. I’ll be watching at home. On March 14th, Tommy Tiernan will premiere his first Comedy Central special, entitled “Something Special.”
And that was our show for Friday February 29, 2008.
Happy Leap Year Day. Hope you enjoyed your rent-free day.
My Leap Year story. Back in high school, the drinking age was 18. Lucky was the Senior who had an early birthday. My friend Marc wouldn’t have his 18th birthday until September when he was a freshman in college. So what was Marc to do while the rest of us High School seniors went to Perunna’s Tavern? Marc decided to commit a felony and alter his drivers license. With a razor blade, he cut out a 2 from somewhere on his license and glued it over the 9 for September on his birthdate. At a quick glance, it looked as if his birthday was in February and not September making him “legal” in the Spring and Summer of senior year. Unfortunately, Marc was born on September 29th. While February 29, 1958 fooled many bouncing at the door, it wasn’t long before one refused his entry. “But why?” asked Marc. The bouncer told him, “Because 1958 wasn’t a Leap Year.” Dooohhhhh!
You know, if Hillary ran for United States Senator from the state she was born and raised, she wouldn’t have to deal with this pesky Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination.
Senator Clinton says she belongs in Washington D.C and has always loved Washington D.C.. To support this claim, earlier today she said she’s been a lifelong Washington Nationals fan.
I’m on vacation for a week. You’ll recognize me as the guy with the paint roller in his hand.
And now, next weeks previously viewed programs. MONDAY: From February 7, 2008; #2868 – Kate Hudson and Jack Hanna. TUESDAY: From February 8, 2008; #2869 – Colin Farrell; Blake Lively; and Lenny Kravitz. Plus, me as a scalper. WEDNESDAY: From January 10, 2008; #2848 – Howard Stern; AYO; and Chris Elliott and Gerard Mulligan, plus Elliott’s Erotic Weblog. THURSDAY: From January 15, 2008; #2851 – Denzel Washington and Don Rickles. PLUS: Harold and I hail a cab for a dead guy FRIDAY: From January 7, 2008; #2845 – Tom Hanks and Mike Huckabee. Plus: Dave gets shaved.
Check the Wahoo Archives and make your plans accordingly.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From N.E. Ohio, it’s Bob Stroud.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Woody Harrelson; and Tommy Tiernan. PLUS:A Message from the White House; Ralph Nader Declares; Change Isn’t Easy; McCain Too Old?; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; Late Show Fun Facts; and Will It Float?
“ . . . and now, your yeoman purser on the Pacific Princess . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Today is February 29th and Leap Year Day happens every four years to keep the calendar year synchronized with the astronomical or seasonal year. Did you see this odd announcement? Announce: “Because it’s Leap Year, there’s an extra day in the month of February. Unfortunately, this extra day means an extra 24 hours with his guy.” (photo of President George W. Bush).
A message from the White House. We’re sorry.”
Dave throws the blue card through the window. Glass crash, followed by, Barry White saying, “Ohhhhh, baaaaaabyyyyyy”
Ralph Nader has declared that he will run for President again this year. We have one of his campaign announcements here. Announce: “Many people are asking Ralph Nader why he’s running for president. The answer is simple: he’s running because he believes our two-party system is outdated. He’s running because he wants to see real change in America.
And he’s running because he’s hoping to get some of that hot lobbyist sex like McCain. It doesn’t matter if you’re blonde or brunette, your or old, liberal or conservative. Hell, he’ll even consider a dude at this point.
Ralph Nader: Nadering it up since 1934.”
Dave takes a moment to say how the message this year on the campaign trail is “making change.” Everyone wants to be making change. Dave, speaking from experience, knows making change is not easy. Years ago when he worked at Atlas Supermarket he was manning the cash register when the bill came to $11.80 and the woman gave him $20.00. Dave was frozen. He did not know how to make change. It’s not as easy as it sounds. It makes a fine soundbite, but putting it into action is another story.
Senator John McCain is combating the perception that he’s too old with this new commercial. Announce:“John McCain knows many Americans worry that he’s too old to be President. Rest assured that Senator McCain is in vigorous good health. But in the event of a problem, he’ll hand over power to his younger brother, Raul McCain.”
See a photo of McCain in green fatigues and mustache. “McCain --- Vive El Presidente!”
Dave throws a blue card through the window and we hear a car horn blast, “La Cucuracha”
And now it’s time once again for “Reflections from Comrade Fidel,” a segment based on his newspaper column in Cuba.
We see photos of Fidel with quotes from his most recent column. Fidel: “I don’t care what anyone says. To me, Sally Field will always be Gidget.” Fidel: “When a guy asks me why I wear suspenders, I ask him why he wears a belt.” Fidel: “You know what I like on a bagel? Cream cheese.” Fidel: “I’ve tortured thousands of people in my life, but my idea of torture is a world without Bette Midler.”
Dave then, I think, does a Joe Piscopo impersonation: “And now, ladies and gentlemen, hang on to your wigs and keys . . . .” and introduces GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES.
We see the President, “I think I’m gonna buy the Chancellor a hamburger.”
ACT 2: Dave: “I don’t speak any foreign languages but I fancy myself a linguistic. Back in the Old Country when something was going your way, we would say, ‘weddy . . . weddy weddy nice.’” And if something was offered in which you did not want: “Ehhhhh, no dice.” I’ll be using that this weekend.
LATE SHOW FUN FACTS
- one of the Fun Facts included a mention of Pat Paulsen. Dave smiled when only Paul and he seemed to get the reference. Nope. I was a mere 10-12 years old when I first experienced the dead-pan Pat Paulsen. Very very funny.
ACT 3:
We were going to do a top ten list about Leap Year. I prepared a blue card that contained an error, which I have yet to find. That was just one of the reasons why the Top Ten was not delivered during the show. My blue card read:
- Today is Leap Day.
- Leap Years are needed to keep our calendar in alignment with the earth’s revolutions around the sun.
- It’s takes 365-and-one-quarter days for the earth to revolve around the sun
I think there was a question about the word “revolve” in the third piece of information. “Orbit” would have been the better word, but I think revolve works just as well. For the rest of the show, I worked on finding information about the reasoning for Leap Year and if “revolve” was the correct verb. While I was digging, the rest of the show progressed.
WOODY HARRELSON: I heard lots of laughter during Woody’s two segments. Something said by Dave or Woody was perceived by the audience as sexual and then everything that followed also seemed to have a sexual reference, no matter how innocent the statement. I later heard that the term “tea-bagging” was used. This brought a big reaction from the audience. In fact, it was suggested after the show that the term should be bleeped. Huh? With some digging, we found that tea-bagging is a term used in kite surfing, the activity Woody was discussing.
I found this from a kite surfing website:
“Use a helmet, especially if you have a leash attached to a kite board. In certain conditions, when the rider falls and is dragged up and down, in the water (known as ‘tea bagging’), the board with a leash has a slingshot effect, and may become a dangerous projectile striking the rider in the head.”
Woody Harrelson is in the film Semi-Pro, along with Will Ferrell, which is in theaters now. It looks to be typical Will Ferrell fare, which is silly, stupid, funny, and satisfying.
ACT 5: Announce: “Monday on the Late Show, Dave is joined by actress Kate Hudson and ‘Jungle’ Jack Hanna. Set your TIVOs to hilarious!
We’ll be right back.
ACT 6: WILL IT FLOAT: It’s been awhile since we’ve played “Will It Float.” That’s because we’ve been speaking to focus groups and we have learned that people say they hate it . . . but that never stops us.
Tonight’s item: a cat scratching post. It’s not made of wood, but particle board. Well, in my buoyancy book, particle board is wood. Dave and Paul see it the same way and they each declare it will float. They are playing for a satellite dish.
The LATE SHOW models drop the item into the Will It Float tank and it . . . . floats!
ACT 7: TOMMY TIERNAN: Again, I was busy during the set but the laughs were long, the laughs were loud. I’ll be watching at home. On March 14th, Tommy Tiernan will premiere his first Comedy Central special, entitled “Something Special.”
And that was our show for Friday February 29, 2008.
Happy Leap Year Day. Hope you enjoyed your rent-free day.
My Leap Year story. Back in high school, the drinking age was 18. Lucky was the Senior who had an early birthday. My friend Marc wouldn’t have his 18th birthday until September when he was a freshman in college. So what was Marc to do while the rest of us High School seniors went to Perunna’s Tavern? Marc decided to commit a felony and alter his drivers license. With a razor blade, he cut out a 2 from somewhere on his license and glued it over the 9 for September on his birthdate. At a quick glance, it looked as if his birthday was in February and not September making him “legal” in the Spring and Summer of senior year. Unfortunately, Marc was born on September 29th. While February 29, 1958 fooled many bouncing at the door, it wasn’t long before one refused his entry. “But why?” asked Marc. The bouncer told him, “Because 1958 wasn’t a Leap Year.” Dooohhhhh!
You know, if Hillary ran for United States Senator from the state she was born and raised, she wouldn’t have to deal with this pesky Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination.
Senator Clinton says she belongs in Washington D.C and has always loved Washington D.C.. To support this claim, earlier today she said she’s been a lifelong Washington Nationals fan.
I’m on vacation for a week. You’ll recognize me as the guy with the paint roller in his hand.
And now, next weeks previously viewed programs. MONDAY: From February 7, 2008; #2868 – Kate Hudson and Jack Hanna. TUESDAY: From February 8, 2008; #2869 – Colin Farrell; Blake Lively; and Lenny Kravitz. Plus, me as a scalper. WEDNESDAY: From January 10, 2008; #2848 – Howard Stern; AYO; and Chris Elliott and Gerard Mulligan, plus Elliott’s Erotic Weblog. THURSDAY: From January 15, 2008; #2851 – Denzel Washington and Don Rickles. PLUS: Harold and I hail a cab for a dead guy FRIDAY: From January 7, 2008; #2845 – Tom Hanks and Mike Huckabee. Plus: Dave gets shaved.
Check the Wahoo Archives and make your plans accordingly.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From N.E. Ohio, it’s Bob Stroud.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Leap Year Message • Ralph Nader Campaign Announcement • McCain Commercial • Fidel Castro Taking Break from Newspaper Column • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
