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Martin Short; and Amy Ryan. PLUS:Dave Shows Off His Socks, Clemens on Capitol Hill; “Action News”; “President Bush: Tackling the Big Issues of the Day”; and Chris Elliott and Gerard Mulligan Promote Their New Program, “American Conquistadors.”
COLD OPEN: We see Jude in the dressing room on the phone. Dave enters. DAVE: “Hey, Jude.” JUDE: “Just a second. On the phone.”
They sit in silence for a long beat. DAVE: “Are you pretending to be on the phone just so you don’t have to talk to me?” JUDE: “Yes, I am.”
“ . . . and now, Hannah Montana’s body double . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Monologue joke: Did you watch the steroid investigation on Capitol Hill earlier today? Andy Pettitte named Roger Clemens. He also named Zero Mostel, Lionel Stander, and writer Dalton Trumbo.
Absolutely no reaction from the audience. Dave smiled and said, “That one was for me.”
I laughed. I got it. But the only reason I got it was because of Zero Mostel. Without him, I wouldn’t know of the other two names and would have missed the joke completely. I guess I could tell you what I know about the joke, but you will learn so much more by Googling.
Immediately after the monologue, Dave stands in front of the desk and lifts his pant legs up to his knees to show off his gray knee socks.
And then Dave sits and proclaims, “I’m feeling pretty good about this tie. I look very good in traffic cone orange.”
Roger Clemens spoke on Capitol Hill earlier today about steroids in baseball. Roger denies he took steroids, but Dave isn’t so sure.
We cut to Roger’s testimony from earlier in the day. His head is huge; his voice monstrously deep.
Wow! Did you see the size of his head!?
It’s those damn steroids.
A new intelligence report indicates that Iran will have nuclear weapons in three years. It’s a frightening thought, but there is a silver lining. Announce:“According to the latest intelligence, Iran is expected to have nuclear weapons in three years. And that can mean only one thing: unbelievable bargains at Best Buy’s Impending Apocalypse Sale! You’ll find rock-bottom prices on all kinds of name-brand electronics. And best of all, there’s no interest for 36 months, and by that time you’ll have bigger things to worry about. (see mushroom cloud) Best Buy: Making the end of the world fun again.”
Dave looks to the camera to his left and says, “Should babies be forced to do their own taxes? That’s what’ll happen if a Long Island assemblyman has his way. Coming up next on Action News.”
Here’s something new, “President Bush: Tackling the Big Issues of the Day.” We see the President introduce the Temptations at a White House gala. The Temps perform, and then the President says to the crowd, “Thank you for coming. We have a BOO-fay for everybody!” I think that’s how they say “buffet” in Texas.
ACT 2:
Back from commercial, Dave says, “After ten minutes, I’m still feeling pretty good about my tie.”
As Dave begins to billboard the rest of the show, he is interrupted by Chris Elliott and Gerry Mulligan carrying writers strike picket signs and wearing red costumes that looks that of a Power Ranger. DAVE: It’s our friends, Chris Elliott and Gerard Mulligan. I see you’re holding picket signs. CHRIS: Yep, we just came back from the line. We really stuck it to ‘All My Children,’ didn’t we, Gerry. GERRY: Oh, they’re hurtin’. DAVE: I don’t know if you saw the news, but the strike is over. CHRIS: Jeez, I didn’t think there were a lot of people out there. With the weather I thought my union brothers were home practicing their writing. . . . . Well, at least I can get my Mamie Eisenhower bio-pic off the ground. DAVE: Oh, you wrote a bio-pic about Mamie Eisenhower? CHRIS: Gerry wrote it, but you’re looking at Mamie. DAVE: Chris, what’s with the costumes? CHRIS: Dave, Chris is dead. I’m Bedlam and this is Gerry. GERRY: And this is our armor. DAVE:> What is that? (pointing to a Dixie cup on Chris’ crotch) CHRIS: This is my cup protector DAVE: Looks like a Dixie cup. CHRIS: Why are people laughing? Oh, I get it! A Dixie cup would mean I have a small . . . . Oh, I guess things that are impossible are funny. DAVE: Is this for a show or something? CHRIS: Tomorrow night, CBS is debuting the highly-anticipated new reality competition, ‘American Conquistadors,’ starring Gerard and myself. GERRY: Contestants square off against oily, chiseled, rock-hard warrior gods, like myself and Bedlam over there. DAVE: It sounds a lot like ‘American Gladiators.’ CHRIS: I have no idea what you’re talking about. DAVE: Well, at least you look good. CHRIS: Really not lovin’ the ‘tude, Merv. DAVE: I’m sorry, Bedlam. I understand you’ve brought a clip. Tell us what we’re going to see. CHRIS: It’s a highlight from one of my recent matches. I’m telling you, Dave, you really need a huge set of plums to stand toe-to-toe with a tough SOB like this. Where do I look? I don’t even know where to look!
We see a clip of a guy on a city street reading a newspaper. Enter Gerry from behind who grabs the guy around the neck. Chris enters with a battering ram and slams the ram into the guy’s crotch. The guy goes down in a tumble. Chris flees, then returns for another slam of the ram.
DAVE: Best of luck with the season premiere. Where are you off to now? CHRIS: We’re doing The Rachael Ray Show next. We’re gonna make pumpkin ravioli or some ‘djoy’ like that. GERRY: And if we’re lucky we’ll get to put Rachael in a camel clutch. CHRIS: OK, settle down, Gerry. DAVE: Well, tell her I said hello. Bedlam and Gerry, ladies and gentlemen.
MARTIN SHORT: Purportedly one of the funniest people on the planet. Ouch! That’s quite an intro to live up to. And somehow, Martin delivered on the hype.
Martin turns to Paul and congratulates him on the success of “Deal or No Deal.”
Martin is excited to be back on the first show following the writers strike. He’s been under the impression the show had been in reruns. And when informed we’ve had our writers back since early January, Martin is quite surprised and decides not to say what he is thinking.
Martin lauds Dave’s appearance, likening it to a young Zac Efron. Paul laughs, as did I, and as did every dad of a female tweener.
And then Martin asks how Dave’s son Harvey is doing. Dave enlightens Martin that his son is Harry. Martin likes the idea of dropping the V. Harry is so much better than Harvey.
Martin recently attended the Kennedy Center Honors where his friend Steve Martin was being feted, along with Diana Ross, Leon Fleischer, Brian Wilson, and Martin Scorsese. There was also a reception at the White House that night. We see a photo of Martin and his wife with the President and Mrs. Bush. It was a lovely photo of the four in front of the White House Christmas tree and he points out what looks to be the Devil’s Finger on the President. Upon closer inspection, it becomes apparent that it only looks like the Devil’s Finger. It was Mrs. Bush’s hand behind the President’s.
At the reception at the White House, the President got up and gave a speech to honor each celebrated figure. Unfortunately, the President must have missed his morning’s session of Hooked on Phonics.
Martin Scorsese? Nope. He called him Martin Sar-cozy.
He compared Brian Wilson with the Beatle Sir Paul McCarthy. Uhhh, Mr. President, that’s McCartney. How can anyone the President’s age get Paul McCartney wrong?
And when Martin first met the President, Marty was expecting an elegant and distinguished handshake. Nope. Instead he got the big Texas low-five hand slap followed by a vigorous handshake and eye-contact that lasted just a bit too long.
Martin Short’s re-enactment was very funny.
Back from the break, we see some photos of Martin Short and Steve Martin romping in the surf on a recent vacation. Of course, whenever an A-lister is out and about, the paparazzi are sure to be near. He doesn’t like it one bit and is sick and tired of this invasion of his privacy. Just recently, Martin vented his frustration at a photographer and it was all caught on the TMZ video thing on the computer internet. It’s very embarrassing and Martin wants to put it behind him, and the best way to put something behind him is to show it and expose it and be done with it. We see the clip, which you can view by clicking on the appropriate link in "Last Night on the Late Show" to the right of this column.
And then when we come back from commercial, Martin has a song he prepared . . . a song for Valentine’s Day. It went something like this:
MARTIN: Thank you, David. As always, tonight before I begin, I’d like to introduce me tympanist for the last 25 years, Mr. Howard Hirsch.
You know, in my business, or in our business, romance can be found around every corner . . Sometimes even working a corner . . . . or as I once sung back in the Senator Larry Craig days (to “A Summer Wind”) ‘A gentleman, came walkin’ in, took the next-door stall . . .’
Over the years, I’ve done a lot of songs about my knack with the opposite sex. Of course, there’s my signature song (to “My Way”) ‘I had a three-waaaayyyy.’
But there are certain times in a fellow’s life, Valentine’s Day in particular, when the expectation of the ultimate stud night gets to be too great. Maybe there’s been a cocktail or two . . . oh, are we in judgment? . . . and things don’t exactly go our way no matter what we try . . . . pumps, injections, meditation, therapy . . . our mighty manhood is reduced to jelly. Jelly, that’s something else I’ve tried . . . But his year, this Valentine’s Day . . . . I’ve got a good feeling that Mrs. Short is in for something special. Paul?
Song: MAYBE THIS TIME (to Liza Minnelli’s “Maybe This Time” live at Carnegie Hall)
“Every year in February,
There’s one night I abhor
On Valentine’s Day
In the bedroom
My performance is poor
That romantic drivel
Sets my loins a-shrivel
With sweet nothings I am teased
But I whisper back apologies
Unlike past years
when Cupid’s arrow
Shot me right in the nuts
On Viagra and Levitra
I’s getting’ out of my ruts
Well, I took yohimbe
And horny goat weed
I am man, hear me roar.
I think it’s happenin’
Something’s tingly
Maybe this time
Maybe this time I’ll score.
ACT 5: Alan announce: “Tomorrow on the Late Show, join us for Valentine’s Day with America’s sweetheart, Regis Philbin.
And singer Joseph Arthur.
Let us be your date for hilarity.
We’ll be right back.
ACT 7:
And can we now see Dr. Phil? We see Dr. Phil laid out on the floor of the lobby. We had a crazed audience member punch him out earlier in the week.
AMY RYAN: Recently nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for her role in Gone Baby Gone. She admits she’s been smiling for two straight weeks now and feels she’s smiled herself into a face lift. Her face feels tight from all that smiling. How did she find out about the Academy Award nomination? She watched it on TV. Wake up early for it? Nope, she never went to bed. She was too nervous. And then when she heard her name announced, a slow smile appeared on her face and it hasn’t gone away since.
Dave asks while she was performing her role in Gone Baby Gone if she thought in the back of her mind that it was an Academy Award-worthy role? She said she was simply shocked to have gotten the part. Academy Award never entered her mind.
Amy is a local Queens girls and for a time worked right across the street from the Ed Sullivan Theater. More time than once she found some of our “junk” which had been thrown from the roof end up around her office. One time she found the Ace of Hearts stuck to her window.
Now that she’s an Academy Award nominated actress, is she recognized? Amy says she was on a plane recently and a guy said I love your voice and . . . . . “I have all your albums.” He mistook her for Amy Grant. Amy told him, “I’m not who you think I am but I was just nominated for an Academy Award.” He stopped, looked, and said “huh . . . .” then walked away.
In the film, Gone Baby Gone, now on DVD, Amy Ryan plays a delinquent, drug addicted, mother of a 4-year-old who gets kidnapped. Sounds like a sweet date flick.
And that was our show for Wednesday February 13, 2008.
Damn, David Bowie. I’m at my typewriter the other day typing away and I hear “Fame” coming from the TV. Damn! It was used for a Celebrity Solstice Cruise vacation. David Bowie songs do not belong on commercials. You used to be too cool to fool, Mr. Bowie.
As for Celebrity Cruises – I reject you first.
I watched some of the Roger Clemens/baseball steroids hearings on Capitol Hill. It was on a lot of channels, but hats off to ESPN for identifying the politicians while they spoke. FOXNews did not.
CNN did not.
CNBC did not.
NY1 did not.
How hard would it have been?
Unfortunately, the audio on ESPN stunk.
What a waste of time. And now United States Senator Arlen Specter is busying himself with the NFL and an investigation into the allegations the New England Patriots illegally taping the St. Louis Rams practice before the Super Bowl. Sounds like more of a personal interest than what’s good for the country. Good grief.
On my drive home last night, against my better judgment I listened to the radio talk shows comment on one of Roger’s statements during his testimony on Capitol Hill. They all laughed and giggled at his using the made up word, “misremember.” Tee-hee tee-hee! Misremember? There’s no such word. The radio guys laughed at Clemens’ being caught in a lie about taking steroids and at his being caught making up a new word. Misremember? . . . . HA!
I’m no big fan of Clemens but I can understand how one can misspeak when under the scrutiny and pressure of Congress. I then tried to think of what word he should have used. And then I got to wondering . . . . . . Hmmmm . . . . I decided to check. I wasn’t surprised. From the New College Edition of the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language:
Misremember: v. 1. to recollect incorrectly. 2. Regional. To forget.
I look forward to my ride home tonight to hear those hired to express their ideas and thoughts on the radio apologize to Mr. Clemens for ridiculing his use of the word “misremember.”
I do the same thing every Valentine’s Day. I buy two cards for my wife. In my own handwriting, I write in the card I am going to give her exactly what is printed in the other one. She is always impressed at how well I express my feelings for her.
And I notice a lot of movies are opening on Thursday this week instead of the usual Friday opening. My guess is it’s to take advantage of the Thursday night Valentine’s Day cheap date.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER James Langdell
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Martin Short; and Amy Ryan. PLUS:Dave Shows Off His Socks, Clemens on Capitol Hill; “Action News”; “President Bush: Tackling the Big Issues of the Day”; and Chris Elliott and Gerard Mulligan Promote Their New Program, “American Conquistadors.”
COLD OPEN: We see Jude in the dressing room on the phone. Dave enters. DAVE: “Hey, Jude.” JUDE: “Just a second. On the phone.”
They sit in silence for a long beat. DAVE: “Are you pretending to be on the phone just so you don’t have to talk to me?” JUDE: “Yes, I am.”
“ . . . and now, Hannah Montana’s body double . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Monologue joke: Did you watch the steroid investigation on Capitol Hill earlier today? Andy Pettitte named Roger Clemens. He also named Zero Mostel, Lionel Stander, and writer Dalton Trumbo.
Absolutely no reaction from the audience. Dave smiled and said, “That one was for me.”
I laughed. I got it. But the only reason I got it was because of Zero Mostel. Without him, I wouldn’t know of the other two names and would have missed the joke completely. I guess I could tell you what I know about the joke, but you will learn so much more by Googling.
Immediately after the monologue, Dave stands in front of the desk and lifts his pant legs up to his knees to show off his gray knee socks.
And then Dave sits and proclaims, “I’m feeling pretty good about this tie. I look very good in traffic cone orange.”
Roger Clemens spoke on Capitol Hill earlier today about steroids in baseball. Roger denies he took steroids, but Dave isn’t so sure.
We cut to Roger’s testimony from earlier in the day. His head is huge; his voice monstrously deep.
Wow! Did you see the size of his head!?
It’s those damn steroids.
A new intelligence report indicates that Iran will have nuclear weapons in three years. It’s a frightening thought, but there is a silver lining. Announce:“According to the latest intelligence, Iran is expected to have nuclear weapons in three years. And that can mean only one thing: unbelievable bargains at Best Buy’s Impending Apocalypse Sale! You’ll find rock-bottom prices on all kinds of name-brand electronics. And best of all, there’s no interest for 36 months, and by that time you’ll have bigger things to worry about. (see mushroom cloud) Best Buy: Making the end of the world fun again.”
Dave looks to the camera to his left and says, “Should babies be forced to do their own taxes? That’s what’ll happen if a Long Island assemblyman has his way. Coming up next on Action News.”
Here’s something new, “President Bush: Tackling the Big Issues of the Day.” We see the President introduce the Temptations at a White House gala. The Temps perform, and then the President says to the crowd, “Thank you for coming. We have a BOO-fay for everybody!” I think that’s how they say “buffet” in Texas.
ACT 2:
Back from commercial, Dave says, “After ten minutes, I’m still feeling pretty good about my tie.”
As Dave begins to billboard the rest of the show, he is interrupted by Chris Elliott and Gerry Mulligan carrying writers strike picket signs and wearing red costumes that looks that of a Power Ranger. DAVE: It’s our friends, Chris Elliott and Gerard Mulligan. I see you’re holding picket signs. CHRIS: Yep, we just came back from the line. We really stuck it to ‘All My Children,’ didn’t we, Gerry. GERRY: Oh, they’re hurtin’. DAVE: I don’t know if you saw the news, but the strike is over. CHRIS: Jeez, I didn’t think there were a lot of people out there. With the weather I thought my union brothers were home practicing their writing. . . . . Well, at least I can get my Mamie Eisenhower bio-pic off the ground. DAVE: Oh, you wrote a bio-pic about Mamie Eisenhower? CHRIS: Gerry wrote it, but you’re looking at Mamie. DAVE: Chris, what’s with the costumes? CHRIS: Dave, Chris is dead. I’m Bedlam and this is Gerry. GERRY: And this is our armor. DAVE:> What is that? (pointing to a Dixie cup on Chris’ crotch) CHRIS: This is my cup protector DAVE: Looks like a Dixie cup. CHRIS: Why are people laughing? Oh, I get it! A Dixie cup would mean I have a small . . . . Oh, I guess things that are impossible are funny. DAVE: Is this for a show or something? CHRIS: Tomorrow night, CBS is debuting the highly-anticipated new reality competition, ‘American Conquistadors,’ starring Gerard and myself. GERRY: Contestants square off against oily, chiseled, rock-hard warrior gods, like myself and Bedlam over there. DAVE: It sounds a lot like ‘American Gladiators.’ CHRIS: I have no idea what you’re talking about. DAVE: Well, at least you look good. CHRIS: Really not lovin’ the ‘tude, Merv. DAVE: I’m sorry, Bedlam. I understand you’ve brought a clip. Tell us what we’re going to see. CHRIS: It’s a highlight from one of my recent matches. I’m telling you, Dave, you really need a huge set of plums to stand toe-to-toe with a tough SOB like this. Where do I look? I don’t even know where to look!
We see a clip of a guy on a city street reading a newspaper. Enter Gerry from behind who grabs the guy around the neck. Chris enters with a battering ram and slams the ram into the guy’s crotch. The guy goes down in a tumble. Chris flees, then returns for another slam of the ram.
DAVE: Best of luck with the season premiere. Where are you off to now? CHRIS: We’re doing The Rachael Ray Show next. We’re gonna make pumpkin ravioli or some ‘djoy’ like that. GERRY: And if we’re lucky we’ll get to put Rachael in a camel clutch. CHRIS: OK, settle down, Gerry. DAVE: Well, tell her I said hello. Bedlam and Gerry, ladies and gentlemen.
MARTIN SHORT: Purportedly one of the funniest people on the planet. Ouch! That’s quite an intro to live up to. And somehow, Martin delivered on the hype.
Martin turns to Paul and congratulates him on the success of “Deal or No Deal.”
Martin is excited to be back on the first show following the writers strike. He’s been under the impression the show had been in reruns. And when informed we’ve had our writers back since early January, Martin is quite surprised and decides not to say what he is thinking.
Martin lauds Dave’s appearance, likening it to a young Zac Efron. Paul laughs, as did I, and as did every dad of a female tweener.
And then Martin asks how Dave’s son Harvey is doing. Dave enlightens Martin that his son is Harry. Martin likes the idea of dropping the V. Harry is so much better than Harvey.
Martin recently attended the Kennedy Center Honors where his friend Steve Martin was being feted, along with Diana Ross, Leon Fleischer, Brian Wilson, and Martin Scorsese. There was also a reception at the White House that night. We see a photo of Martin and his wife with the President and Mrs. Bush. It was a lovely photo of the four in front of the White House Christmas tree and he points out what looks to be the Devil’s Finger on the President. Upon closer inspection, it becomes apparent that it only looks like the Devil’s Finger. It was Mrs. Bush’s hand behind the President’s.
At the reception at the White House, the President got up and gave a speech to honor each celebrated figure. Unfortunately, the President must have missed his morning’s session of Hooked on Phonics.
Martin Scorsese? Nope. He called him Martin Sar-cozy.
He compared Brian Wilson with the Beatle Sir Paul McCarthy. Uhhh, Mr. President, that’s McCartney. How can anyone the President’s age get Paul McCartney wrong?
And when Martin first met the President, Marty was expecting an elegant and distinguished handshake. Nope. Instead he got the big Texas low-five hand slap followed by a vigorous handshake and eye-contact that lasted just a bit too long.
Martin Short’s re-enactment was very funny.
Back from the break, we see some photos of Martin Short and Steve Martin romping in the surf on a recent vacation. Of course, whenever an A-lister is out and about, the paparazzi are sure to be near. He doesn’t like it one bit and is sick and tired of this invasion of his privacy. Just recently, Martin vented his frustration at a photographer and it was all caught on the TMZ video thing on the computer internet. It’s very embarrassing and Martin wants to put it behind him, and the best way to put something behind him is to show it and expose it and be done with it. We see the clip, which you can view by clicking on the appropriate link in "Last Night on the Late Show" to the right of this column.
And then when we come back from commercial, Martin has a song he prepared . . . a song for Valentine’s Day. It went something like this:
MARTIN: Thank you, David. As always, tonight before I begin, I’d like to introduce me tympanist for the last 25 years, Mr. Howard Hirsch.
You know, in my business, or in our business, romance can be found around every corner . . Sometimes even working a corner . . . . or as I once sung back in the Senator Larry Craig days (to “A Summer Wind”) ‘A gentleman, came walkin’ in, took the next-door stall . . .’
Over the years, I’ve done a lot of songs about my knack with the opposite sex. Of course, there’s my signature song (to “My Way”) ‘I had a three-waaaayyyy.’
But there are certain times in a fellow’s life, Valentine’s Day in particular, when the expectation of the ultimate stud night gets to be too great. Maybe there’s been a cocktail or two . . . oh, are we in judgment? . . . and things don’t exactly go our way no matter what we try . . . . pumps, injections, meditation, therapy . . . our mighty manhood is reduced to jelly. Jelly, that’s something else I’ve tried . . . But his year, this Valentine’s Day . . . . I’ve got a good feeling that Mrs. Short is in for something special. Paul?
Song: MAYBE THIS TIME (to Liza Minnelli’s “Maybe This Time” live at Carnegie Hall)
“Every year in February,
There’s one night I abhor
On Valentine’s Day
In the bedroom
My performance is poor
That romantic drivel
Sets my loins a-shrivel
With sweet nothings I am teased
But I whisper back apologies
Unlike past years
when Cupid’s arrow
Shot me right in the nuts
On Viagra and Levitra
I’s getting’ out of my ruts
Well, I took yohimbe
And horny goat weed
I am man, hear me roar.
I think it’s happenin’
Something’s tingly
Maybe this time
Maybe this time I’ll score.
ACT 5: Alan announce: “Tomorrow on the Late Show, join us for Valentine’s Day with America’s sweetheart, Regis Philbin.
And singer Joseph Arthur.
Let us be your date for hilarity.
We’ll be right back.
ACT 7:
And can we now see Dr. Phil? We see Dr. Phil laid out on the floor of the lobby. We had a crazed audience member punch him out earlier in the week.
AMY RYAN: Recently nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for her role in Gone Baby Gone. She admits she’s been smiling for two straight weeks now and feels she’s smiled herself into a face lift. Her face feels tight from all that smiling. How did she find out about the Academy Award nomination? She watched it on TV. Wake up early for it? Nope, she never went to bed. She was too nervous. And then when she heard her name announced, a slow smile appeared on her face and it hasn’t gone away since.
Dave asks while she was performing her role in Gone Baby Gone if she thought in the back of her mind that it was an Academy Award-worthy role? She said she was simply shocked to have gotten the part. Academy Award never entered her mind.
Amy is a local Queens girls and for a time worked right across the street from the Ed Sullivan Theater. More time than once she found some of our “junk” which had been thrown from the roof end up around her office. One time she found the Ace of Hearts stuck to her window.
Now that she’s an Academy Award nominated actress, is she recognized? Amy says she was on a plane recently and a guy said I love your voice and . . . . . “I have all your albums.” He mistook her for Amy Grant. Amy told him, “I’m not who you think I am but I was just nominated for an Academy Award.” He stopped, looked, and said “huh . . . .” then walked away.
In the film, Gone Baby Gone, now on DVD, Amy Ryan plays a delinquent, drug addicted, mother of a 4-year-old who gets kidnapped. Sounds like a sweet date flick.
And that was our show for Wednesday February 13, 2008.
Damn, David Bowie. I’m at my typewriter the other day typing away and I hear “Fame” coming from the TV. Damn! It was used for a Celebrity Solstice Cruise vacation. David Bowie songs do not belong on commercials. You used to be too cool to fool, Mr. Bowie.
As for Celebrity Cruises – I reject you first.
I watched some of the Roger Clemens/baseball steroids hearings on Capitol Hill. It was on a lot of channels, but hats off to ESPN for identifying the politicians while they spoke. FOXNews did not.
CNN did not.
CNBC did not.
NY1 did not.
How hard would it have been?
Unfortunately, the audio on ESPN stunk.
What a waste of time. And now United States Senator Arlen Specter is busying himself with the NFL and an investigation into the allegations the New England Patriots illegally taping the St. Louis Rams practice before the Super Bowl. Sounds like more of a personal interest than what’s good for the country. Good grief.
On my drive home last night, against my better judgment I listened to the radio talk shows comment on one of Roger’s statements during his testimony on Capitol Hill. They all laughed and giggled at his using the made up word, “misremember.” Tee-hee tee-hee! Misremember? There’s no such word. The radio guys laughed at Clemens’ being caught in a lie about taking steroids and at his being caught making up a new word. Misremember? . . . . HA!
I’m no big fan of Clemens but I can understand how one can misspeak when under the scrutiny and pressure of Congress. I then tried to think of what word he should have used. And then I got to wondering . . . . . . Hmmmm . . . . I decided to check. I wasn’t surprised. From the New College Edition of the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language:
Misremember: v. 1. to recollect incorrectly. 2. Regional. To forget.
I look forward to my ride home tonight to hear those hired to express their ideas and thoughts on the radio apologize to Mr. Clemens for ridiculing his use of the word “misremember.”
I do the same thing every Valentine’s Day. I buy two cards for my wife. In my own handwriting, I write in the card I am going to give her exactly what is printed in the other one. She is always impressed at how well I express my feelings for her.
And I notice a lot of movies are opening on Thursday this week instead of the usual Friday opening. My guess is it’s to take advantage of the Thursday night Valentine’s Day cheap date.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER James Langdell
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Roger Clemens' Testimony on Capitol Hill Watch now • Best Buy's Apocalypse Sale
