" . . . and now, hard-drinking cosmonaut . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
I was backstage ready for my cue. I was scheduled to go on tonight. It could happen at any time. I was away from my usual viewing location during the first most of the show. Just before the show was to start, I was told I would probably go on in the ACT 2 during Fun Facts.

During the pre-show Q&A, a guy in the audience commented on Dave's suit; something to do with single-breasted vs. double-breasted. It made Dave a little nervous that a guy would notice . . . or care . . . about such a thing. Backstage, I notice things being put in motion about getting a suit jacket for the guy.

Senator Hillary Clinton has done so much campaigning lately that it's been taking a toll on her voice. But Dave heard her speak earlier today and he thinks she sounds fine.
We see a clip from that speech.
As she speaks, she sounds a lot like our head of security, the Chief William Delace.

Dave turns to the camera on his left: "Coming up, meet the goat who'll paint you van for $39.99. But don't be surprised if he eats your back seat. Later, on 'Action News'."

The New York Giants' last-minute win over the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl was the second-most watched program in American television history. It ranks up there with some pretty impressive company. We take a look at the top three.
106 million viewers; M*A*S*H series finale.
97.5 million viewers - Super Bowl XLII
94.3 million viewers - Larry King's first show back after being declared legally dead.

From there . . . . huh? . . . . an old guy, dressed as if Dave, says "Wow, that was something. Can you believe that? And now it's time for Great Moments in Presidential Speeches.

GREAT MOMENT IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
Bush: "The temptation, of course, is for people to do the politically right thing. That's not my nature."

Back to Dave. He asks to see the shot of the old guy who introduced Great Moments. We see a still shot of the guy, and then we see a split screen of Dave and the guy. Dave laments, "We wanted to get an old old guy . . . we got an old old guy . . . and he still looks younger than me."

ACT 2:
LATE SHOW FUN FACTS
During Dave's reading of the list of fun facts, a seedy-looking guy shuffles in behind Dave. He gets Dave's attention and shows Dave two Super Bowl tickets he has up for sale. Dave isn't interested, pointing out that the Super Bowl was last Sunday. The guy, very entrepreneurial, shifts his ticket pitch to "Pro Bowl" which is scheduled for this Sunday. This catches Dave's ear and opens his wallet to make a purchase from the ticket scalper. Unfortunately, before the sale can go down the scalper notices an approaching law enforcement officer. The guy shouts in fear, "Heat!" and quickly scampers away. Dave, too, is frightened, not realizing until then just how close he was to breaking the law.

Yup, that was me. I was told I would go on after the 10th Fun Fact, including the real ones. I was told I would go on after the 10th Fun Fact, including the real ones. I had a stage manager inches away from me as I went over and over and over what I would do and say. As Dave is halfway through #10, I get my tap on the shoulder. This time, as opposed to last week, I did not take a step down to make the sale of the tickets. Last time I thought Dave blocked me when he got up and I stepped down. I haven't seen it yet but I asked the stage manager how this one went, specifically, if I was blocked by Dave. He said Dave got up but kept to the side to keep from being between me and the camera. I stayed up on the platform. As I yelled "Heat!" and ran off, I appreciated the amount of laughter from the audience. "Wow!" I thought to myself, "I must have done pretty good."
I'm a typical actor. When the applause is good, the actor takes the credit. When there is no response, the actor blames the writer. You'll never hear an actor who gets a really big laugh at the Academy Awards when making an award presentation say, "I just read what's on the teleprompter." He will, of course, say that when a joke bombs. Not till later do I realize that the audience reaction was due to Dave's reaction to my shout of "Heat!" I had nothing to do with it.

While the rest of the Fun Facts are being read, I hear plans for a jacket to be given to the audience member who made a clothing comment during the pre-show Q&A. It was to be given at the top of the next ACT. I suggest that perhaps, maybe, how about, what if I came out again behind Dave and held up the jacket and whispered, "Double-breasted." When Dave got up to pay I would once again yell "HEAT!" and drop the jacket as I fled. Dave would then give the jacket to the guy in the audience. It was thought to be a good idea until they realized who was giving the idea.

ACT 3:
Sue Hum gives the double-breasted suit to the guy in audience. Sue gets the guy's jacket in return. Sue goes through the pockets as she leaves the stage. When she pulls out some important papers, Dave tells her to give the papers back to the guy.

TOP TEN: SIGNS YOU WON'T BE WINNING A GRAMMY - The Grammy Awards are this Sunday night form the Staples Center in Los Angeles, to air LIVE on CBS at 8:00.
I was standing by in case they wanted to call me back out there. Another script was being drawn up. When I'm in costume, I don't go away that easy.
#2. Your album just went aluminum. . . . Hey-Ohhhhhh!

COLIN FARRELL: Mr. Super Cool enters wearing a fine looking fedora. I feel you have to be both super cool and super good looking to wear a fedora without people giggling. I wear a baseball cap. Colin Farrell is able to wear a fedora.
How did Colin like the Super Bowl? Colin was very happy for Eli Manning, especially since most New Yorkers wanted Eli's head on a plate earlier in the season. Although he enjoyed the game, Colin is still a real football fan at heart, meaning soccer. Who do Americans call it football if only two players can use their feet? Colin's dad and uncle played professional soccer but the burning desire to play the game wasn't passed on to Colin. Colin played soccer up to about 15, but then beer and girls got in the way. Ahh, the beer. There are lots of stories about his escapades, not all good. He's been to rehab and has been off the stuff for awhile now. Growing older and becoming a dad does that.
Colin's new film, "In Bruges" is a film about 2 hit men who are involved in a job that goes horribly wrong and they have to get out of London.
How exactly does a "hit" go wrong?
The hit men get out of town and end up in Bruges, pronounced ‘Broojh', the ending like the beginning of the French "Jean".
We see a clip of "In Bruges," which is not playing in selected cities. When we come back, Dave is also wearing a fedora. Remember what I said about wearing a fedora. Proves my point.

ACT 5:
Announce: "Would you like to appear as a contestant on Tic-Tac-Dough? Send a self-addressed stamped envelope to:
Tic-Tac-Dough Tickets
CBS Television City
7800 Beverly Boulevard
Los Angeles, California 90036
Tic-Tac-Don't miss out on this opportunity to win fabulous prizes!"

ACT 6:
BLAKE LIVELY: She's from the CW's "Gossip Girl." My 12-year-old daughters haven't discovered this yet. They only watch "Hannah Montana" and "Intervention."
Blake is excited to be here. Dave is one of her two childhood crushes. Her other crush was for Leonardo DiCaprio. Is he still in the business?
Blake grew up in Burbank and comes from a family of actors. Her dad brought the whole family to California from Georgia in a motor home to take a part on "The Dukes of Hazzard." Who did he play? She has no idea.
Her brother Rusty was in "European Vacation." Her sister was on "Teen Witch." She wasn't much interested in acting but her brother convinced her to go on auditions anyway. She ended up getting a role in "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" and she soon fell in love with acting. A part in a major motion picture and a nice pay check will do that.
But acting isn't all glamour. While filming "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2" in Greece, she got in a moped accident which resulted her having to be on crutches for a couple weeks. And then she stepped on a sea urchin and got a whole bunch of sea urchin needles in her foot. It happened in a real small village with no real hospital nearby. Some guy claiming to be a doctor removed the needles using a steak knife. Blake now stars in "Gossip Girl" seen on the CW. Much to her surprise, Dave knows a lot about the program. It's centers around a school on the upper east side of Manhattan and follows a group of teenagers who are manipulated and updated by a blog run by the unknown "Gossip Girl." Nobody knows who the Gossip Girl" is. I'm surprised my girls haven't watched this yet. It sounds right up their alley.

ACT 7:
LENNY KRAVITZ: From his CD, "It Is Time For A Love Revolution," the great Lenny Kravitz performed "Bring It On." I like Lenny Kravitz, ever since he played "Mr. Cab Driver" on "Saturday Night Live." No no no, not "Cab Driver" by the Mills Brothers; "Mr. Cab Driver" by Lenny Kravitz.

And that was our show for Friday, February 8, 2008.



Sure, it's great that the New York Giants won the Super Bowl, but that means next year they'll have more Sunday night games and Monday night games and Thursday night games and late afternoon Sunday games. I much prefer the 1:00 Sunday game right after the Bowery Boys.

And now it's time for another installment of the popular Wahoo Gazette feature, "Late Night The Day They Were Born."
Blake Lively was born August 25, 1987. So what happened on Late Night the day Blake Lively was born?
August 25, 1987; Late Night show #909: What's Hal Wearing?; Top Ten Excuses of the U.S. Basketball Team; Robert Goulet sings the Dumb Ads song; Dumb Ads; Michael Caine; newspaper garden columnist C.Z. Guest; and comedian Drake Sather. Plus, a Thrill-Cam veers through grocery store.

Of course, if Hilary Clinton ran for United States Senator of her home state of Illinois instead of New York, she wouldn't be bothered by the pesky Barack Obama right now.

People are still talking about the miracle catch by New York Giants receiver David Tyree in the Super Bowl, catching the ball with the help of his head. But this isn't the first time I saw a catch like this.
Back in the early to mid-90s, my brother and I would take a 25 block walk north along Broadway to Baker Field to watch Columbia University Ivy League football. It made for a nice afternoon. This was just after the baby blue Lions stopped their nationally-known 44-game losing streak. The Columbia Lions had a two-way guy at the time who did everything for the team. Unfortunately, I can't remember his name. He played linebacker and fullback. Well, this one time on defense, this guy was defending against the pass. Another Columbia player batted the ball in the air just as the ball was about reach the receiver. The Columbia linebacker quickly changed from going for a tackle to trying to catch the batted ball. But by the time he could react, the ball was behind him. The linebacker quickly reached back over and behind his head and caught the ball. Have you ever held a football behind your head while wearing shoulder pads and a helmet? It's very hard to bring the ball back over your head. The shoulder pads limit your reach and the helmet makes it even harder. So this guy had the football behind his head and couldn't bring it in front of him. He ran with the ball this way for 10 yards. It's not a position you want to be in while playing tackle football. With his body fully exposed, he made the wise decision of running out of bounds before getting plowed under. It was an hysterical scene and kept us laughing the rest of the game.
That's Ivy League football.

When the Giants won the Super Bowl, I thought back to the past two times they won. In 1991, I was working the midnight shift on the NYPD. I had to be in to work around 11:00 PM. I was watching the game in my basement with family and friends. Scott Norwood kicked the ball wide and the Giants won. I celebrated for two minutes and then had to run out to work.
In 1986, I was working the 4-to-12 shift. I was walking my beat planning on where I would watch when the game started. I found a bar with a TV that faced the street. I would have a good look at the television from the sidewalk. And then the bar started to get more and more crowded as the kickoff neared. When the game started, a lot of the patrons at the bar saw me peering in. I waved at them to move over so I could see the TV. They got a big kick out of it and waved back. They thought I was waving to say "Hi." Idiots. I left that spot and spent some time in a firehouse, in some hotel lobbies, and apartment buildings. I never got a feel for the game. It was frustrating. This year's win was by far my favorite.

HA! I just got my New York Post. As I do every Friday, I quickly turn to Phil Mushnick's "Equal Time" column covering sports. What is his lead? "Get ready to lose sleep, Giant fans." He claims that now that the Giants are Super Bowl champions, they are now "more than ever a TV money team. They'll be a 4:15 team, a Monday night ESPN team, a Sunday night NBC team, a Thursday night NFL Network team."
It's how football rewards the fans of Super Bowl-winning teams.
Yup, the Giant games should be 1:00 PM Sunday; right after the Abbott and Costello movie.

Mets pitcher Pedro Martinez was seen at a cockfight. I don't know, is that big news in your town? He's been catching some heat here in New York for that, even though the photos are years old and cockfighting is legal in the Dominican Republic where the photos were taken. I once went to a cockfight in Puerto Rico right before it was banned. It was held in a small circular arena that sat a couple hundred. I was fascinated by all the betting and the gruesomeness down below. I didn't bet, saving my money for more Medalla. It was definitely a one-time thing and wouldn't go again.
Afterwards, my wife and I went to the adjoining restaurant. I ordered the rooster.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
It's his birthday today! Happy Birthday, Walter Kim.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER