DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Kate Hudson; and Jack Hanna. PLUS:Know Your Current Events; and a Top Ten List.
“ . . . and now . . . ready to begin his powerpoint presentation . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1: KNOW YOUR CURRENT EVENTS – Tonight we had 6 categories with 4 or 5 jokes in each. And damn that copier backstage. Just before the show, Dave cut some of the jokes. I took the "Know Your Current Events" script packet and made copies of the cuts and copy changes. The first page of the packet was the list of the 6 categories. I then distributed the new packet with the changes to the Control Room so they knew what joke to put up when Dave started to read. Well, for some reason, the copier only copied the top third of each page. I didn’t notice that the front page only had a list of 5 categories and left off the "Know Your Super Bowl Champion New York Giants." And on all the following pages, 2 jokes per, only the top joke printed out. I didn’t notice this either. After I distributed the changes, I leafed through my packet and finally noticed the 1 joke per page problem. I quickly went to those who needed to know that the packet they received was missing important jokes. Phew.
But then when Dave read the 6 categories, the graphics accompanying the categories was missing the last one, the Giants category. This could be fixed later after the show but I was afraid the whole New York Giants category wasn’t loaded up in case a contestant wanted to play. I ran back to the Control Room but everyone was too locked in to KYCE for me to do anything now. I paced back and forth while the first contestant picked "Know Your Cuts of Meat." I knew we were fine with the meat. Dave next contestant is chosen. It was a guy. I wished it was a woman because I figured she wouldn’t pick a football category. The guy is from California. That’s good, because maybe he wouldn’t pick a category that involved a New York football team. But the guy looked strong and health, like an athlete. This made me nervous because I figured he likes sports and probably watched the game on Sunday. I paced back and forth worried that he would pick the Giants category. I still wasn’t sure if we had the Giants category ready to go. And then Dave gave him the category card . . . . and he picked . . . . "Know Your Current Events." Yippee! I was in the clear. I knew we had one more contestant after that but I know it was one of “our” fake contestants who would run out of the theater when asked to pick a category.
And that was KYCE. I later found out that we did have the Giants category ready to go, but everyone was aware there was some kind of problem. All because of a copier that only printed out the top one-third. I still don’t know why that happened.
I’m in a rush today (Friday morning) because I’m due to tape something in a half hour. I didn’t have a chance to re-read the above and I have a feeling it’s quite jumbled and confusing. Just realize that I was very nervous during the KYCE although I was keenly interested in what was going on, I could barely watch.
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. I think I heard Lt. Len Easton interrupting KYCE. See, because of the screwed up copier, I missed the Len Easton interrupt. Damn that copier.
ACT 2: TOP TEN: REASONS MITT ROMNEY DROPPED OUT OF THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE #4. Apparently America is not ready for a white male president. #2. There was that little problem of nobody voting for him.
ACT 3: KATE HUDSON: She’s in the film, Fool’s Gold with Matthew McConaughey. It opens Friday. Kate is a big football fan. She believes you can tell a lot about a woman by the NFL quarterback they like. You have your dreamy, Mr. Perfect, Tom Brady. And you have your classy goofball like Peyton Manning. She then places Dave in that same “classy goofball” category . . . but that’s a good thing, according to Kate. I’m not sure how good a thing Dave thought it was.
While filming Fool’s Gold, Kate spent 6 months in Australia. She learned that everything in Australia can kill you. There are deadly animals everywhere, except you can’t see them. But don’t let that stop you, guys, because she also says Australian women love American men. Not bad, huh? What’s a little threat of death in a land that loves American men? It’s too bad American women don’t love American men. Now that would be great. Fool’s Gold – now playing at a theater near you.
ACT 4: JACK HANNA: Director Emeritus of the Columbus Zoo, and the host of his own TV show, “Jack Hanna’s ‘Into The Wild.”
Jack’s animals tonight:
- a wart hog from Africa – costs $40,000 to buy one of them for your zoo. Dave says you’re probably better off leasing. The wart hog spends 60% of its life on its knees. Dave hesitates, thinks, but says it anyway. “I know what you’re thinking . . . Monica Lewinsky . . . that’s an 8-year-old reference.”
- Hyena – the hyena and the wart hog are natural enemies. But not tonight? Why not? Well, just because. Fun Fact: the striped hyena does not laugh, but the spotted hyena does. And do you know why the striped hyena doesn’t laugh? Answer: “No sense of humor.” Jack Hanna loves his own joke and is very proud to be able to sneak that one in.
- Dave holds up an issue of the Columbus Dispatcher newspaper --- quoted in the week old newspaper is Jack Hanna’s Super Bowl prediction: Giants 17; Patriots 14. BINGO! Right on the nose.
- Spotted Leopard – Dave knows a lot about the spotted leopard and blurts out fact after fact about the beautiful animal. Jack sighs, let’s Dave finish, and then says, “That’s the cheetah.”
- Cobra – very cool. And what fun it was trying to get the cobra back in the box. Yipes. It was funny . . . and then not so funny.
ACT 5: Friday on the Late Show: Colin Farrell; Blake Lively; and Lenny Kravitz.
And that was our show for Thursday February 7, 2006.
Chinese New Year. It’s the Year of the Rat. And I’m still writing “The Year of the Squirrel” on my checks.”
My friend’s father passed away the other day. “Sonny” Donato and his brother owned the Hilltop Restaurant in Nyack, New York. Here is the recipe for their famed Stuffed Artichokes.
STUFFED ARTICHOKES
1 large artichoke
1/3 cup of bread crumbs
½ teaspoon of salt or to taste
¼ teaspoon of coarse garlic powder or to taste
2 tablespoons of grated parmigiana cheese
1 ½ ounce of olive oil
5 ounces of drawn butter
Wash and drain artichoke.
Cut stem off at base of artichoke
Trim leaves: 1 – 1 ½ inches
Discard misshapened leaves, and with kitchen scissors, trim thorny tip off each leaf.
Place artichoke in sauce pan, cover with water.
Boil 45 minutes to an hour or until tender.
Remove artichoke and place in shallow baking dish.
Spread leaves.
Sprinkle bread crumbs, salt, garlic powder and cheese over artichoke.
Pour olive oil and drawn butter over artichoke.
Cover with aluminum foil.
Place in oven and back 10 to 15 minutes at 400-450 degrees.
Note: artichoke must be warm to hot before stuffing. If artichoke is cold, place it in hot water until warm.
And that’s all that’s to it!
Sorry, I gotta go. Gotta do some comedy. Oh, I’m on Fridays show.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Orlando, Florida, it’s Jon Solomonson.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Kate Hudson; and Jack Hanna. PLUS:Know Your Current Events; and a Top Ten List.
“ . . . and now . . . ready to begin his powerpoint presentation . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1: KNOW YOUR CURRENT EVENTS – Tonight we had 6 categories with 4 or 5 jokes in each. And damn that copier backstage. Just before the show, Dave cut some of the jokes. I took the "Know Your Current Events" script packet and made copies of the cuts and copy changes. The first page of the packet was the list of the 6 categories. I then distributed the new packet with the changes to the Control Room so they knew what joke to put up when Dave started to read. Well, for some reason, the copier only copied the top third of each page. I didn’t notice that the front page only had a list of 5 categories and left off the "Know Your Super Bowl Champion New York Giants." And on all the following pages, 2 jokes per, only the top joke printed out. I didn’t notice this either. After I distributed the changes, I leafed through my packet and finally noticed the 1 joke per page problem. I quickly went to those who needed to know that the packet they received was missing important jokes. Phew.
But then when Dave read the 6 categories, the graphics accompanying the categories was missing the last one, the Giants category. This could be fixed later after the show but I was afraid the whole New York Giants category wasn’t loaded up in case a contestant wanted to play. I ran back to the Control Room but everyone was too locked in to KYCE for me to do anything now. I paced back and forth while the first contestant picked "Know Your Cuts of Meat." I knew we were fine with the meat. Dave next contestant is chosen. It was a guy. I wished it was a woman because I figured she wouldn’t pick a football category. The guy is from California. That’s good, because maybe he wouldn’t pick a category that involved a New York football team. But the guy looked strong and health, like an athlete. This made me nervous because I figured he likes sports and probably watched the game on Sunday. I paced back and forth worried that he would pick the Giants category. I still wasn’t sure if we had the Giants category ready to go. And then Dave gave him the category card . . . . and he picked . . . . "Know Your Current Events." Yippee! I was in the clear. I knew we had one more contestant after that but I know it was one of “our” fake contestants who would run out of the theater when asked to pick a category.
And that was KYCE. I later found out that we did have the Giants category ready to go, but everyone was aware there was some kind of problem. All because of a copier that only printed out the top one-third. I still don’t know why that happened.
I’m in a rush today (Friday morning) because I’m due to tape something in a half hour. I didn’t have a chance to re-read the above and I have a feeling it’s quite jumbled and confusing. Just realize that I was very nervous during the KYCE although I was keenly interested in what was going on, I could barely watch.
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. I think I heard Lt. Len Easton interrupting KYCE. See, because of the screwed up copier, I missed the Len Easton interrupt. Damn that copier.
ACT 2: TOP TEN: REASONS MITT ROMNEY DROPPED OUT OF THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE #4. Apparently America is not ready for a white male president. #2. There was that little problem of nobody voting for him.
ACT 3: KATE HUDSON: She’s in the film, Fool’s Gold with Matthew McConaughey. It opens Friday. Kate is a big football fan. She believes you can tell a lot about a woman by the NFL quarterback they like. You have your dreamy, Mr. Perfect, Tom Brady. And you have your classy goofball like Peyton Manning. She then places Dave in that same “classy goofball” category . . . but that’s a good thing, according to Kate. I’m not sure how good a thing Dave thought it was.
While filming Fool’s Gold, Kate spent 6 months in Australia. She learned that everything in Australia can kill you. There are deadly animals everywhere, except you can’t see them. But don’t let that stop you, guys, because she also says Australian women love American men. Not bad, huh? What’s a little threat of death in a land that loves American men? It’s too bad American women don’t love American men. Now that would be great. Fool’s Gold – now playing at a theater near you.
ACT 4: JACK HANNA: Director Emeritus of the Columbus Zoo, and the host of his own TV show, “Jack Hanna’s ‘Into The Wild.”
Jack’s animals tonight:
- a wart hog from Africa – costs $40,000 to buy one of them for your zoo. Dave says you’re probably better off leasing. The wart hog spends 60% of its life on its knees. Dave hesitates, thinks, but says it anyway. “I know what you’re thinking . . . Monica Lewinsky . . . that’s an 8-year-old reference.”
- Hyena – the hyena and the wart hog are natural enemies. But not tonight? Why not? Well, just because. Fun Fact: the striped hyena does not laugh, but the spotted hyena does. And do you know why the striped hyena doesn’t laugh? Answer: “No sense of humor.” Jack Hanna loves his own joke and is very proud to be able to sneak that one in.
- Dave holds up an issue of the Columbus Dispatcher newspaper --- quoted in the week old newspaper is Jack Hanna’s Super Bowl prediction: Giants 17; Patriots 14. BINGO! Right on the nose.
- Spotted Leopard – Dave knows a lot about the spotted leopard and blurts out fact after fact about the beautiful animal. Jack sighs, let’s Dave finish, and then says, “That’s the cheetah.”
- Cobra – very cool. And what fun it was trying to get the cobra back in the box. Yipes. It was funny . . . and then not so funny.
ACT 5: Friday on the Late Show: Colin Farrell; Blake Lively; and Lenny Kravitz.
And that was our show for Thursday February 7, 2006.
Chinese New Year. It’s the Year of the Rat. And I’m still writing “The Year of the Squirrel” on my checks.”
My friend’s father passed away the other day. “Sonny” Donato and his brother owned the Hilltop Restaurant in Nyack, New York. Here is the recipe for their famed Stuffed Artichokes.
STUFFED ARTICHOKES
1 large artichoke
1/3 cup of bread crumbs
½ teaspoon of salt or to taste
¼ teaspoon of coarse garlic powder or to taste
2 tablespoons of grated parmigiana cheese
1 ½ ounce of olive oil
5 ounces of drawn butter
Wash and drain artichoke.
Cut stem off at base of artichoke
Trim leaves: 1 – 1 ½ inches
Discard misshapened leaves, and with kitchen scissors, trim thorny tip off each leaf.
Place artichoke in sauce pan, cover with water.
Boil 45 minutes to an hour or until tender.
Remove artichoke and place in shallow baking dish.
Spread leaves.
Sprinkle bread crumbs, salt, garlic powder and cheese over artichoke.
Pour olive oil and drawn butter over artichoke.
Cover with aluminum foil.
Place in oven and back 10 to 15 minutes at 400-450 degrees.
Note: artichoke must be warm to hot before stuffing. If artichoke is cold, place it in hot water until warm.
And that’s all that’s to it!
Sorry, I gotta go. Gotta do some comedy. Oh, I’m on Fridays show.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Orlando, Florida, it’s Jon Solomonson.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Know Your Current Events • Dave's Action News Tease • Most Watched Programs in Television History • Old Guy at Desk • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
ACT 2 • Top Ten Reasons Mitt Romney Dropped Out of the Presidential Race Read now
ACT 3 • Kate Hudson
ACT 4 • "Jungle" Jack Hanna
ACT 5 • Audience Shot
ACT 6 • More with Jack Hanna
ACT 7 • More with Jack Hanna Watch now • Show Close
