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TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Senator John Edwards; Diablo Cody; Josh Ritter; and sitting in with the band, David “Fathead” Newman. PLUS:The Return of Alex Trebek; Osama’s Son; Hillary and Barack Drop In; Lindsay Lohan Visits the Morgue; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; a Top Ten List; Johnny Twain; and our Sarcastic Videotape Editor.
“ . . . and now, a man who believes baseball is better with steroids . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Jeopardy’s Alex Trebek has returned to host the very popular game show after suffering a heart attack. Welcome back, Alex, but Dave feels he may have rushed his return. Perhaps a bit more rest should have been prescribed. What does Dave mean? He shows a clip from the show seen earlier in the day.
We watch Alex give the answers to the contestants as they then give the question. But something isn’t right. What the contestants provide are obviously not the correct answers but Alex charges on ahead. No matter what they say, Alex responds, “Right!” It’s embarrassing. Thank goodness Merv isn’t around to see what they are doing to his show.
This morning on the ‘Today’ show, Matt Lauer did an interview with Osama bin Laden’s son. You may have seen NBC running this promotional announcement. Announcer:“What’s it like to be related to the most hated man in the world? To have the embodiment of evil for a father? To have the last name ‘bin Laden’? Find out as Matt Lauer interviews Osama bin Laden’s idiot son, Osama W. bin Laden.” (see photo of George W. Bush in a beard)
“The ‘Today’ show: only on NBC.”
And then, Dave is interrupted by yakking. Appearing over his right shoulder is a tape of Hillary Clinton from Monday night’s debate. Over his left shoulder is a tape of Barack Obama from Monday’s debate. Dave is caught in the middle of their attacking each other. It was an odd interruption. And who invited them?
Following her arrest for driving under the influence, Lindsay Lohan has been ordered to visit a morgue. It’s one of those ‘scared straight’ programs, but Dave isn’t really isn’t sure it’ll have much of an effect. Announcer:“As part of Lindsay Lohan’s punishment for driving under the influence, a judge has ordered her to spend four hours at the Los Angeles County morgue. Big deal. Like she’s never had to look at a corpse before.”
Cut to a shot of Lindsay the last time she was on the show talking to Dave. “This has been the ‘Late Show Obvious Joke of the Night.’ Good night, America!”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: I missed it. I think it was the President speaking before an audience in the very spot Winston Churchill once spoke. It was something like, “This is the very spot Winston Churchill spoke in 1932, right before I was born.”
This was followed by a loud BUZZ, with the graphic reading: “George W. Bush was born in 1946.”
ACT 2:
Before the show, David Newman told Dave that his head was once so fat that he couldn’t wear hats.
Dave is excited to have Diablo Cody on the show tonight. The last time she was here she promoting a book and mentioned she was working on a screenplay. Dave exclaims, “Well, guess what, grab your nuts, the screenplay was just nominated for an Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay!” How about that!? She was here on March 20, 2006. All she had at that time was a book she had written. Now look at her!
So, what have you done since March 30, 2006?
It’s time for one of America’s favorite humorists, Johnny Twain. The scrim rises. We find Johnny Twain seated in his familiar rocker.
“Oh, hello, I didn’t hear you come in. Twain’s the name, Johnny Twain.
- Let me tell you, my wife hates me. Last year, she won a trip for two to Paris. She went twice.
- My wife is so old, last week she ordered a three-minute egg and they asked for the money up front.
- My wife is such a bad cook that we have a soup knife.
- My wife is so flat-chested, she has to hold up her bra with suspenders.
- My wife is so ugly, that I take her everywhere just so I don’t have to kiss her goodbye.
- This bit was a lot funnier before the cease and desist order.
- My wife is so ugly, last month she had her face lifted . . . and the thief brought it back.
- It’s no picnic living with me either. Sex at my age is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
- Good night, America!”
TOP TEN: George W. Bush Ideas For Stimulating the Economy --- the President Bush has proposed a $150 billion stimulus program to reinvigorate the ailing economy. #10. Send troops to invade U.S. Mint #4. Sent elite team of economists to rob Mick Jagger’s apartment. #2. Maybe not spending a billion dollars a month in Iraq?
ACT 3:
Presidential candidate John Edwards is on the show tonight. The Secret Service was here to provide extra security, and Dave thinks they’re a little overzealous.
We cut to a shot of the interior of the Hello Deli. Security agents are patting down Rupert’s hams, meats, and turkey breasts.
Sure, people may think the Secret Service was being overzealous, but these same people would be the first to complain if Edwards had been attacked by a ham, meat, or turkey breast.
SENATOR JOHN EDWARDS
He’s running for President. Whenever we have an important politician on the show, someone who brings otherwise non-LATE SHOW viewers to the program, I try to pay extra attention to the interview because I’m afraid I’ll misquote something and then it’ll be picked up by certain media that believes the Wahoo Gazette is something worth noting. I rarely get it all right. So you can imagine my joy when I came across this in the Letterman Newsgroup, posted by Kathie8. It’s a transcript of the entire Letterman/Edwards interview. Now, no one should feel the need to quote me. Just go to the transcript. http://hotlineblog.nationaljournal.com/archives/2008/01/ letterman_runs.html
Wow, that takes a lot of pressure off me. I wish every interview had a transcript.
Dave asks Edwards, the former U.S. Senator from North Carolina, what he thought about the confrontational debate the night before in South Carolina. It was quite a melee between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Edwards says, “What I was trying to do was represent the grown-up wing of the Democratic Party.” Laughs and applause.
Dave asks if the bickering between the two can be beneficial. Dave feels there is something to be gained by seeing two potential Presidents going face-to-face on the issues. Edwards agrees, if the bickering is about the issues. If it goes into the ditch and is about little petty stuff, then no . . . it doesn’t add much.
(I love having a transcript in front of me.)
Dave calls himself a dumb guy and doesn’t quite see the difference between the candidates on the issues so he really enjoys the bickering. In some ways it’s insightful.
Dave paints a scenario where Senator Edwards is fast asleep and Dave sneaks into his room, shakes him awake, and demands to know, “Who’s your Vice President?” What name would Edwards give?
Senator Edwards says, “David Letterman!” Big response from the audience.
I think Dave would love to be a Vice President. It’s right up his alley. He would never have to be seen in public!
What does Edwards think about John Kerry endorsing Barack Obama? Dave asks, “Did you call him up and say ‘John, what was that all about?’”
Edwards just laughs and says, “I’m not telling.”
Oooh, boy, I bet there was some bickering there!
Dave brings up Oprah’s endorsement of Barack Obama and how that did a world of good for him. Edwards says he is hoping Dave could do the same for him. Dave laughs at the thought of having such clout. Dave doubts his clout.
And what about Edwards’ little feud with Bill O’Reilly? Edwards says the core of the feud is that he (Edwards) has been talking about homeless veterans and the fact that we have a couple hundred thousand homeless veterans. They have no place to sleep at night. O’Reilly came out and said it was an exaggeration; that Edwards was making it up. Since then, O’Reilly has received a lot of correspondences and phone calls from homeless veterans.
Dave says that although Bill O’Reilly is a marvelous communicator and entertaining, he doesn’t really care much about telling the truth. Edwards laughs and says he’s noticed the same thing.
Before saying goodnight, Dave has one favor to ask of Senator Edwards. Dave asks if he could mess up his hair. . . . just a little.
Edwards allows. Dave reaches up and messes up the hair of Senator Edwards. He takes it like a good sport. He then tries to return the favor to Dave’s closely cropped hair.
ACT 4:
Dave lauds the music provided by David “Fathead” Newman, Paul, and the CBS Orchestra during the breaks. He then talks about Senator John Edwards when a TiVo graphic pops up over Dave. After more obtrusive graphics, a message reading “You have selected to record ‘The Late Show with David Letterman.’ Do you want to accept this recording?”
Dave is confused by this interruption and demands an explanation. He calls out to Tom, our videotape editor. DAVE: “Tom, what is that? What’s going on?”
We find Tom Catusi in the videotape room by the Control Room. TOM: “I wanted to TiVo the rest of tonight’s show for safekeeping because you are on fire tonight!” DAVE: “You’re being sarcastic, right?” TOM: (beat) “Yeah.”
ACT 5: Alan announce:“Looking for a high quality hippopotamus costume like the one on tonight’s show? Then check out Akron Design & Costume. At Akron Design & Costume, if you can imagine it, we’ve got it.
We’ll be right back.”
We had planned on using a guy in that actual hippo costume for earlier in the show. Before taping, it was decided we’d save it for never. The ACT 5? We decided to keep it. When others questioned it, I simply answered, “Are you really trying to make sense of this?” They then gave a knowing nod.
ACT 6: DIABLO CODY: No matter how much I looked, I couldn’t find a transcript of the Diablo Cody interview.
The last time Diablo Cody was here in March of ’06, she had just written a book entitled, “Candy Girl,” and mentioned that she was in the process of writing a screenplay. And that screenplay, “Juno,” earlier today was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. She heard about it at “the butt-crack of dawn” in California. Diablo was at home screaming with delight when she heard the “Juno” Academy Award nominations for Best Picture, Best Actress and Best Director. Unfortunately, while screaming, she missed her own nomination for Best Original Screenplay.
How has so much recent success changed her? She says things are pretty much the same but now she’s a total “A-Hole” living in L.A. It comes with the success. You can’t really help it.
Diablo had worked as a stripper and also worked the sex-phone lines. She says working on the sex-phone lines really helped her in her writing. It was like live theater. That’s what I tell my wife but she won’t buy it. “It’s research, hon. I’m trying to hone my craft.” She’ll then mumble something like, “Yeah, I bet you’re honing your craft.”
Diablo says she wrote most of the screenplay in a Starbucks located in a Target, surrounded by suburban misery. It’s bad enough being stuck in a corporate Starbucks and trying to be original and creative, but finding yourself in a Starbucks that’s IN a Targets . . . . that is really demoralizing. But she was able to turn that misery into a Best Original Screenplay nomination.
We see a clip of “Juno.” The quirky feel looks to be very entertaining. It’s on my list. “Juno” – in theaters now.
ACT 7: JOSH RITTER: From his new album, “The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter,” Josh Ritter performed “To The Dogs or Whoever.”
And that’s the show for Tuesday January 22, 2008.
You know, if Hillary Clinton ran for United States Senator from her home state of Illinois, she probably wouldn’t have to be dealing with Barack Obama right now.
I hate the taunting and posing and trash-talking that’s done in the NFL. All teams are guilty of it, but I must admit I don’t remember seeing any of the Giants doing it on Sunday. I always notice it when the other team does it when the Giants are losing, but I wonder if I don’t “see” my Giants doing it when my team is winning. Besides Plaxico jawing at the covering cornerback on Green Bay, I don’t think I saw any Giants misbehaving. And I think Plaxico was only returning the trash thrown his way. I know running back Brandon Jacobs has a tendency to over emote, but I think he kept it somewhat in check on Sunday. And now that the Giants #1 L.A.M.E. culprit (Look At Me, Everybody), Jeremy Shockey is out, the team’s behavior seems a whole lot better. But maybe I’m not seeing it, since it’s my team. Did any of the Giants act like jerks? I think it was too cold for any of that . . . for both teams.
If I had the time, money, and tickets, I would be so at the Super Bowl in Arizona.
Patriots’ Quarterback Tom Brady was seen here in New York yesterday with his foot in a cast. Thank you, Tonya Harding.
Yes, folks, that reference goes back to 1994. Thank you very much.
Oh, and Tom Brady is fine. My theory is he made sure to be photographed in a boot-cast while in New York to put the New York media in a frenzy and to direct all the pre-Super Bowl attention on him. This will allow the rest of the team to prepare without being bothered.
Staples, you owe me money. The boxes of pencils I bought in September are worthless. The points constantly break. Forgive me, readers, I know I’ve been griping about the awful pencils I bought from STAPLES for months now, but they got me again this morning. I sharpened a brand new pencil and it busted as soon as I put it to paper. I sharpened it again and again the point broke. I sharpened it one more time, this time with a different sharpener, and again it busted. I then took the pencil and broke it into three pieces. Then I went into the drawer and broke the twenty more unsharpened STAPLES pencils one by one. Until STAPLES sends me my money back for two boxes of pencils, they will not see me inside their store again. If they can’t make a simple pencil . . . .
STAPLES has to know their pencils are no good. I can’t be the only one who has had this trouble.
Here’s a play in the Green Bay/Giants game that’s been overlooked here in New York. Giant running back Brandon Jacobs fumbles the ball at the 1-yard line. It is recovered by Giants tight end Kevin Boss. The Giants take the lead on a touchdown on the next play. The fumble was recovered by Kevin Boss. Kevin Boss is playing because Giants “All-Star” tight end Jeremy Shockey is out with an injury. Would Jeremy Shockey have been there to recover that fumble, or would he have been posing and posturing and busy jawing with an opponent like he so often does? We’ll never know. What we do know, though, is that Kevin Boss was there to recover the fumble.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Huntington, Connecticut, it’s Patti Gordon.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Senator John Edwards; Diablo Cody; Josh Ritter; and sitting in with the band, David “Fathead” Newman. PLUS:The Return of Alex Trebek; Osama’s Son; Hillary and Barack Drop In; Lindsay Lohan Visits the Morgue; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; a Top Ten List; Johnny Twain; and our Sarcastic Videotape Editor.
“ . . . and now, a man who believes baseball is better with steroids . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Jeopardy’s Alex Trebek has returned to host the very popular game show after suffering a heart attack. Welcome back, Alex, but Dave feels he may have rushed his return. Perhaps a bit more rest should have been prescribed. What does Dave mean? He shows a clip from the show seen earlier in the day.
We watch Alex give the answers to the contestants as they then give the question. But something isn’t right. What the contestants provide are obviously not the correct answers but Alex charges on ahead. No matter what they say, Alex responds, “Right!” It’s embarrassing. Thank goodness Merv isn’t around to see what they are doing to his show.
This morning on the ‘Today’ show, Matt Lauer did an interview with Osama bin Laden’s son. You may have seen NBC running this promotional announcement. Announcer:“What’s it like to be related to the most hated man in the world? To have the embodiment of evil for a father? To have the last name ‘bin Laden’? Find out as Matt Lauer interviews Osama bin Laden’s idiot son, Osama W. bin Laden.” (see photo of George W. Bush in a beard)
“The ‘Today’ show: only on NBC.”
And then, Dave is interrupted by yakking. Appearing over his right shoulder is a tape of Hillary Clinton from Monday night’s debate. Over his left shoulder is a tape of Barack Obama from Monday’s debate. Dave is caught in the middle of their attacking each other. It was an odd interruption. And who invited them?
Following her arrest for driving under the influence, Lindsay Lohan has been ordered to visit a morgue. It’s one of those ‘scared straight’ programs, but Dave isn’t really isn’t sure it’ll have much of an effect. Announcer:“As part of Lindsay Lohan’s punishment for driving under the influence, a judge has ordered her to spend four hours at the Los Angeles County morgue. Big deal. Like she’s never had to look at a corpse before.”
Cut to a shot of Lindsay the last time she was on the show talking to Dave. “This has been the ‘Late Show Obvious Joke of the Night.’ Good night, America!”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: I missed it. I think it was the President speaking before an audience in the very spot Winston Churchill once spoke. It was something like, “This is the very spot Winston Churchill spoke in 1932, right before I was born.”
This was followed by a loud BUZZ, with the graphic reading: “George W. Bush was born in 1946.”
ACT 2:
Before the show, David Newman told Dave that his head was once so fat that he couldn’t wear hats.
Dave is excited to have Diablo Cody on the show tonight. The last time she was here she promoting a book and mentioned she was working on a screenplay. Dave exclaims, “Well, guess what, grab your nuts, the screenplay was just nominated for an Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay!” How about that!? She was here on March 20, 2006. All she had at that time was a book she had written. Now look at her!
So, what have you done since March 30, 2006?
It’s time for one of America’s favorite humorists, Johnny Twain. The scrim rises. We find Johnny Twain seated in his familiar rocker.
“Oh, hello, I didn’t hear you come in. Twain’s the name, Johnny Twain.
- Let me tell you, my wife hates me. Last year, she won a trip for two to Paris. She went twice.
- My wife is so old, last week she ordered a three-minute egg and they asked for the money up front.
- My wife is such a bad cook that we have a soup knife.
- My wife is so flat-chested, she has to hold up her bra with suspenders.
- My wife is so ugly, that I take her everywhere just so I don’t have to kiss her goodbye.
- This bit was a lot funnier before the cease and desist order.
- My wife is so ugly, last month she had her face lifted . . . and the thief brought it back.
- It’s no picnic living with me either. Sex at my age is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
- Good night, America!”
TOP TEN: George W. Bush Ideas For Stimulating the Economy --- the President Bush has proposed a $150 billion stimulus program to reinvigorate the ailing economy. #10. Send troops to invade U.S. Mint #4. Sent elite team of economists to rob Mick Jagger’s apartment. #2. Maybe not spending a billion dollars a month in Iraq?
ACT 3:
Presidential candidate John Edwards is on the show tonight. The Secret Service was here to provide extra security, and Dave thinks they’re a little overzealous.
We cut to a shot of the interior of the Hello Deli. Security agents are patting down Rupert’s hams, meats, and turkey breasts.
Sure, people may think the Secret Service was being overzealous, but these same people would be the first to complain if Edwards had been attacked by a ham, meat, or turkey breast.
SENATOR JOHN EDWARDS
He’s running for President. Whenever we have an important politician on the show, someone who brings otherwise non-LATE SHOW viewers to the program, I try to pay extra attention to the interview because I’m afraid I’ll misquote something and then it’ll be picked up by certain media that believes the Wahoo Gazette is something worth noting. I rarely get it all right. So you can imagine my joy when I came across this in the Letterman Newsgroup, posted by Kathie8. It’s a transcript of the entire Letterman/Edwards interview. Now, no one should feel the need to quote me. Just go to the transcript. http://hotlineblog.nationaljournal.com/archives/2008/01/ letterman_runs.html
Wow, that takes a lot of pressure off me. I wish every interview had a transcript.
Dave asks Edwards, the former U.S. Senator from North Carolina, what he thought about the confrontational debate the night before in South Carolina. It was quite a melee between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Edwards says, “What I was trying to do was represent the grown-up wing of the Democratic Party.” Laughs and applause.
Dave asks if the bickering between the two can be beneficial. Dave feels there is something to be gained by seeing two potential Presidents going face-to-face on the issues. Edwards agrees, if the bickering is about the issues. If it goes into the ditch and is about little petty stuff, then no . . . it doesn’t add much.
(I love having a transcript in front of me.)
Dave calls himself a dumb guy and doesn’t quite see the difference between the candidates on the issues so he really enjoys the bickering. In some ways it’s insightful.
Dave paints a scenario where Senator Edwards is fast asleep and Dave sneaks into his room, shakes him awake, and demands to know, “Who’s your Vice President?” What name would Edwards give?
Senator Edwards says, “David Letterman!” Big response from the audience.
I think Dave would love to be a Vice President. It’s right up his alley. He would never have to be seen in public!
What does Edwards think about John Kerry endorsing Barack Obama? Dave asks, “Did you call him up and say ‘John, what was that all about?’”
Edwards just laughs and says, “I’m not telling.”
Oooh, boy, I bet there was some bickering there!
Dave brings up Oprah’s endorsement of Barack Obama and how that did a world of good for him. Edwards says he is hoping Dave could do the same for him. Dave laughs at the thought of having such clout. Dave doubts his clout.
And what about Edwards’ little feud with Bill O’Reilly? Edwards says the core of the feud is that he (Edwards) has been talking about homeless veterans and the fact that we have a couple hundred thousand homeless veterans. They have no place to sleep at night. O’Reilly came out and said it was an exaggeration; that Edwards was making it up. Since then, O’Reilly has received a lot of correspondences and phone calls from homeless veterans.
Dave says that although Bill O’Reilly is a marvelous communicator and entertaining, he doesn’t really care much about telling the truth. Edwards laughs and says he’s noticed the same thing.
Before saying goodnight, Dave has one favor to ask of Senator Edwards. Dave asks if he could mess up his hair. . . . just a little.
Edwards allows. Dave reaches up and messes up the hair of Senator Edwards. He takes it like a good sport. He then tries to return the favor to Dave’s closely cropped hair.
ACT 4:
Dave lauds the music provided by David “Fathead” Newman, Paul, and the CBS Orchestra during the breaks. He then talks about Senator John Edwards when a TiVo graphic pops up over Dave. After more obtrusive graphics, a message reading “You have selected to record ‘The Late Show with David Letterman.’ Do you want to accept this recording?”
Dave is confused by this interruption and demands an explanation. He calls out to Tom, our videotape editor. DAVE: “Tom, what is that? What’s going on?”
We find Tom Catusi in the videotape room by the Control Room. TOM: “I wanted to TiVo the rest of tonight’s show for safekeeping because you are on fire tonight!” DAVE: “You’re being sarcastic, right?” TOM: (beat) “Yeah.”
ACT 5: Alan announce:“Looking for a high quality hippopotamus costume like the one on tonight’s show? Then check out Akron Design & Costume. At Akron Design & Costume, if you can imagine it, we’ve got it.
We’ll be right back.”
We had planned on using a guy in that actual hippo costume for earlier in the show. Before taping, it was decided we’d save it for never. The ACT 5? We decided to keep it. When others questioned it, I simply answered, “Are you really trying to make sense of this?” They then gave a knowing nod.
ACT 6: DIABLO CODY: No matter how much I looked, I couldn’t find a transcript of the Diablo Cody interview.
The last time Diablo Cody was here in March of ’06, she had just written a book entitled, “Candy Girl,” and mentioned that she was in the process of writing a screenplay. And that screenplay, “Juno,” earlier today was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. She heard about it at “the butt-crack of dawn” in California. Diablo was at home screaming with delight when she heard the “Juno” Academy Award nominations for Best Picture, Best Actress and Best Director. Unfortunately, while screaming, she missed her own nomination for Best Original Screenplay.
How has so much recent success changed her? She says things are pretty much the same but now she’s a total “A-Hole” living in L.A. It comes with the success. You can’t really help it.
Diablo had worked as a stripper and also worked the sex-phone lines. She says working on the sex-phone lines really helped her in her writing. It was like live theater. That’s what I tell my wife but she won’t buy it. “It’s research, hon. I’m trying to hone my craft.” She’ll then mumble something like, “Yeah, I bet you’re honing your craft.”
Diablo says she wrote most of the screenplay in a Starbucks located in a Target, surrounded by suburban misery. It’s bad enough being stuck in a corporate Starbucks and trying to be original and creative, but finding yourself in a Starbucks that’s IN a Targets . . . . that is really demoralizing. But she was able to turn that misery into a Best Original Screenplay nomination.
We see a clip of “Juno.” The quirky feel looks to be very entertaining. It’s on my list. “Juno” – in theaters now.
ACT 7: JOSH RITTER: From his new album, “The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter,” Josh Ritter performed “To The Dogs or Whoever.”
And that’s the show for Tuesday January 22, 2008.
You know, if Hillary Clinton ran for United States Senator from her home state of Illinois, she probably wouldn’t have to be dealing with Barack Obama right now.
I hate the taunting and posing and trash-talking that’s done in the NFL. All teams are guilty of it, but I must admit I don’t remember seeing any of the Giants doing it on Sunday. I always notice it when the other team does it when the Giants are losing, but I wonder if I don’t “see” my Giants doing it when my team is winning. Besides Plaxico jawing at the covering cornerback on Green Bay, I don’t think I saw any Giants misbehaving. And I think Plaxico was only returning the trash thrown his way. I know running back Brandon Jacobs has a tendency to over emote, but I think he kept it somewhat in check on Sunday. And now that the Giants #1 L.A.M.E. culprit (Look At Me, Everybody), Jeremy Shockey is out, the team’s behavior seems a whole lot better. But maybe I’m not seeing it, since it’s my team. Did any of the Giants act like jerks? I think it was too cold for any of that . . . for both teams.
If I had the time, money, and tickets, I would be so at the Super Bowl in Arizona.
Patriots’ Quarterback Tom Brady was seen here in New York yesterday with his foot in a cast. Thank you, Tonya Harding.
Yes, folks, that reference goes back to 1994. Thank you very much.
Oh, and Tom Brady is fine. My theory is he made sure to be photographed in a boot-cast while in New York to put the New York media in a frenzy and to direct all the pre-Super Bowl attention on him. This will allow the rest of the team to prepare without being bothered.
Staples, you owe me money. The boxes of pencils I bought in September are worthless. The points constantly break. Forgive me, readers, I know I’ve been griping about the awful pencils I bought from STAPLES for months now, but they got me again this morning. I sharpened a brand new pencil and it busted as soon as I put it to paper. I sharpened it again and again the point broke. I sharpened it one more time, this time with a different sharpener, and again it busted. I then took the pencil and broke it into three pieces. Then I went into the drawer and broke the twenty more unsharpened STAPLES pencils one by one. Until STAPLES sends me my money back for two boxes of pencils, they will not see me inside their store again. If they can’t make a simple pencil . . . .
STAPLES has to know their pencils are no good. I can’t be the only one who has had this trouble.
Here’s a play in the Green Bay/Giants game that’s been overlooked here in New York. Giant running back Brandon Jacobs fumbles the ball at the 1-yard line. It is recovered by Giants tight end Kevin Boss. The Giants take the lead on a touchdown on the next play. The fumble was recovered by Kevin Boss. Kevin Boss is playing because Giants “All-Star” tight end Jeremy Shockey is out with an injury. Would Jeremy Shockey have been there to recover that fumble, or would he have been posing and posturing and busy jawing with an opponent like he so often does? We’ll never know. What we do know, though, is that Kevin Boss was there to recover the fumble.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Huntington, Connecticut, it’s Patti Gordon.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Osama W. bin laden • Hillary/Obama Debate • Lindsay Lohan Ordered to Work in Morgue • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
ACT 2 • Johnny Twain • Top Ten George W. Bush Ideas For Stimulating the Economy Read now
