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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Michael Douglas; Katherine Heigl; and Wyclef Jean. PLUS:The New Rambo Trailer; Romney on “Nightline”; a Word From the Kleenex People; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; and a Top Ten List.
“ . . . and now, a man who voted three times in the Michigan Primary . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Last night during the pre-show Q&A, a guy mentioned the name of the first girl Dave ever loved. Tonight’s Q&A didn’t provide as much as an impact. A woman asked, “Can you get me something to eat?” Dave wondered if the theater looked like a restaurant. After talking to her a bit more, Dave discovered she hadn’t eaten in days.
We need to get her something to eat. Unfortunately . . . or fortunately . . . Rupert’s Hello Deli is closed. Dave suggests we get the woman a sandwich from the Carnegie Deli. That’ll solve her hunger for sure. Behind the scenes, people scurry to get a Carnegie Deli sandwich. Mmmm, for the rest of the night I was thinking of a corned beef or pastrami sandwich on rye with lots of mustard. Mmmmm.
Personal note: When I was in the Police Academy, I had to do a report on a prominent Jewish New Yorker. I did the report on Leo Steiner of the Carnegie Deli. I brought a Carnegie Deli corned beef sandwich to class as a visual aid. Part of the report involved the class watching me eat it.
How do you get to the Carnegie Deli? Practice practice practice.
Believe it or not, another "Rambo" movie is coming to theaters next week. Some say Sylvester Stallone is getting a little old to play the title role, and judging by the trailer, they may have a point. We take a look. Announce:“In the beginning, there was ‘First Blood.’ Then, the blood continued to flow in ‘Rambo: First Blood’ parts 2 and 3. And now, years later, the one-army faces his most difficult challenge yet when he is prescribed . . . . Coumadin, his first blood thinner.
In theaters everywhere, January 25th.”
Dave looks over at Tony. He asks, “Tony, would you like to solve the puzzle?”
We see a shot of Tony. He thinks, then says, “Is it ‘Dicen que el que se pica los come’?”
We cut to a shot of some Spanish “Wheel of Fortune” show and the puzzle is revealed: Dicen que el que se pica los come. DING! Tony’s a winner!
WHAT THE HELL IS MITT ROMNEY TALKING ABOUT?
From Monday’s “Nightline”: Reporter: “You’re a fighter.” Romney: “That’s exactly right. A Romney drowns in the river and looks upstream for the body.” Laughs.
Tony, would you like to solve the puzzle? Tony: “Queda mucha tela que cortar.”
DING!!
And now, we’ll be right back after this word from Kleenex.
Roll vt – “Americans need a facial tissue that works as hard as they do. That’s why Kleenex is there for you . . . . whether you’re suffering a small cold or in the midst of a crazed breakdown after losing a football game.
Kleenex --- the tissue people.”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES:
We see our President walking arm-in-arm with Prince Salman Bin Abdul Aziz. Bush walks with a sword resting on his shoulder. He reminded me of a boy at this 6th grade graduation walking to get his diploma with a girl on his arm.
ACT 2:
Dave delivers a sandwich from the Carnegie Deli to the hungry woman in the audience. It looks like corned beef. Dave later calls it pastrami.
Tony, would you like to solve the puzzle?
Tony: “Horario agenda y calendario”
DING!!
TOP TEN: Programs on Oprah’s New Television Network --- next year, Oprah will launch her very own cable network, called OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network.
10. “Law & Oprah”
9. “The Oprentice”
8. “As Oprah’s World Turns”
7. “Two and a Half Steadmens”
6. “Hawaii Five-Oprah”
5. “Gayle King of Queens”
4. No number 4 --- writer making his bucket list.
3. “Sofa Repair with Tom Cruise”
2. “Oprahstar Galactica”
1. “More Bull-‘djoy’ From Dr. Phil”
ACT 3: MICHAEL DOUGLAS: Michael has two sons with his wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones, ages 4 and 7. They do a lot of skiing together and are already very good. They started when they were three-years-old.
I once worked at a ski center as a snowmaker. I would marvel at how these wee little kids would zoom and zig-zag down the hill. It was explained to me that their center of gravity is so low that they rarely fall over. They are quick learners.
Does Dave ski? NO.
Michael hurt himself recently so he can’t get on the slopes as much as he would like. He’s since noticed that his kids are faster on the slopes than he is. Now Michael spends his time looking for sports that he is faster at than his boys.
Dave shares that there are times when he is lying down on the sofa and Harry will come up to him and ask him to play. What goes through Dave’s mind? “I know I’m gonna get up but I don’t know if I’m gonna get up next year.” I know what Dave means. At my age, watching football on the TV is now considered an activity.
Dave and Michael then lament their advancing age and discuss how hard it is to read and follow the instructions that come with the kids’ toys. Dave always has a problem opening things. I expected the two of them to start talking about their prostate.
Dave asks Michael if his kids have seen any of his movies. Michael says he has been making movies for 40 years, but there is not one movie his kids can see. He recently took them to a museum that featured a dinosaur movie. Michael knew the movie because he did the voice-over for it. He didn’t let his son know, though. After the film was over, his son said to him, “Dad, that was the best movie you’ve ever done.”
And Michael now is the voice of the NBC Nightly News. Watch it tonight and you’ll hear his opening announce. Douglas insinuates he next has eyes on Alan Kalter’s job. Alan pretends not to be intimidated.
Michael’s is here to promote his most recent film, King of California, which will be available on DVD on January 29th. The film had a very limited release and Michael was not at all pleased with the distributor. From what I’ve read, and from listening to Dave, it’s an enjoyable, quirky film with a very sweet story. I think I might be taking a look at that. I like quirky and sweet.
On the cover of the DVD we see Michael with a full beard. He asks Dave about his beard. Dave said he loved the beard, which was met with a smattering of applause from the audience. Dave mutters, “Not exactly a mandate.” Michael says they had to touch up his beard for the movie to lessen the gray. Dave goes in the other direction about his own beard: “It couldn’t get white enough for me. I like being a coot.”
ACT 5: Announce: “And now, it’s time for Gary-oke, with Late Show electronic maintenance engineer, Gary Mintz.”
Gary, in front of the band, ‘sings,’ “You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC.
ACT 6: KATHERINE HEIGL: From ABC’s Grey’s Anatomy and the new film, 27 Dresses, which opens this Friday. The lovely Katherine Heigl recently got married . . . sorry, fellas . . . to a musician. It was a Christmas wedding in Utah. Dave exclaims, “That’s interesting, because there is a ‘Christmas wedding’ reference in the movie!”
A surprised Katherine says, “Is there?”
Katherine says she was fine about the wedding until she had a dream of her running away from the wedding through the mountains of Utah in her bathrobe and Uggs.
(Uggs --- boy, oh boy, I wish I invested in Uggs two years ago. I went to the mall the other day and every kid from 10 to 20 was wearing Uggs. And they were wearing a NorthFace jacket. When I was a teen, I wore Chuka boots and a CPO jacket.)
She and her fiancé got to Utah a few days early before the wedding and he wanted to go skiing. Katherine begged him not to go; afraid he would show off and break something. He assured her he would be fine. The day of the rehearsal, he cracked open his nose when he was showing off on the slopes. Not good.
Dave: “He sounds like a bonehead!”
And then right after the wedding, he threw a snowball or something and wedding ring went flying off.
Dave: “What a dope that guy is!”
Katherine loved Dave’s barbs as she pictured her husband, Josh Kelley, at home fuming.
On the bright side, Katherine was able to keep these two incidents over her husband and could always refer to it as an example of his ineptitude. Unfortunately, on the way to their honeymoon in Mexico, Katherine forgot her passport. She lost all the leverage she once held. Oooh, that’s too bad. Having leverage in a marriage is everything. “27 Dresses – it opens this Friday.
ACT 7: WYCLEF JEAN: From his CD, “Carnival Volume II: Memoirs of an Immigrant,” Wyclef Jean performed “Sweetest Girl.”
And that was our show for Wednesday January 16, 2008.
I’ve enjoyed listening to the Green Bay radio sports talk shows on the internet this week. All the Packer callers are already talking about playing the New England Patriots. They are all looking past the Giants.
Meanwhile, much to the chagrin of the FOX network, this year’s Super Bowl will be between the Giants and the San Diego Chargers. I usually root against what TV wants, since I blame them for the 6:30 starts for the playoffs and Super Bowl.
Oprah’s new cable network --- OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network . . . I thought Paul Newman owned OWN.
Are the bad singers we see on American Idol really supposed to be entertaining? Are they supposed to be funny? If so, I don’t get it. But I watch because my girls like it. Last night they had a model boyfriend of one of the female singers on the show. My daughter, 12-years-old, exclaimed, “He’s HOT!” I was a bit surprised that she noticed such a thing. I know, I know, you don’t have to tell me. Of course she would notice. But then she added, “I could bake cookies on him!”
“Huh?” I asked.
She clarified, “He’s so hot I could bake cookies on him!”
Oy vey.
I think if a United States Senator wants to run for President, he or she should have to take a leave of absence and forfeit their salary while doing so. Of course that goes for incumbent Governors and congressmen as well.
The Giants/Packer game starts at 6:30 this Sunday and I blame the Chicago Cubs for that. I’ll explain in Friday’s Wahoo.
Watch for the New Jersey Nets to make a trade for the Indiana Pacers Jermaine O’Neil any day now.
I walked by the Dunkin Donuts the other day at the new mall in West Nyack. There were 13 people on line. Someone came up to the line, checked how long it was, and decided to get in the line. I really wanted to ask that person, “How long would the line have to be before you would decide not to get on it?” For anything besides a beer, my limit is about 3.
And don’t forget, to get a daily recap of the Late Show with David Letterman, check out the Wahoo Gazette, which can be found at www.cbs.com/lateshow.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Orlando, Florida, it’s Jon Solomonson
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Michael Douglas; Katherine Heigl; and Wyclef Jean. PLUS:The New Rambo Trailer; Romney on “Nightline”; a Word From the Kleenex People; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; and a Top Ten List.
“ . . . and now, a man who voted three times in the Michigan Primary . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Last night during the pre-show Q&A, a guy mentioned the name of the first girl Dave ever loved. Tonight’s Q&A didn’t provide as much as an impact. A woman asked, “Can you get me something to eat?” Dave wondered if the theater looked like a restaurant. After talking to her a bit more, Dave discovered she hadn’t eaten in days.
We need to get her something to eat. Unfortunately . . . or fortunately . . . Rupert’s Hello Deli is closed. Dave suggests we get the woman a sandwich from the Carnegie Deli. That’ll solve her hunger for sure. Behind the scenes, people scurry to get a Carnegie Deli sandwich. Mmmm, for the rest of the night I was thinking of a corned beef or pastrami sandwich on rye with lots of mustard. Mmmmm.
Personal note: When I was in the Police Academy, I had to do a report on a prominent Jewish New Yorker. I did the report on Leo Steiner of the Carnegie Deli. I brought a Carnegie Deli corned beef sandwich to class as a visual aid. Part of the report involved the class watching me eat it.
How do you get to the Carnegie Deli? Practice practice practice.
Believe it or not, another "Rambo" movie is coming to theaters next week. Some say Sylvester Stallone is getting a little old to play the title role, and judging by the trailer, they may have a point. We take a look. Announce:“In the beginning, there was ‘First Blood.’ Then, the blood continued to flow in ‘Rambo: First Blood’ parts 2 and 3. And now, years later, the one-army faces his most difficult challenge yet when he is prescribed . . . . Coumadin, his first blood thinner.
In theaters everywhere, January 25th.”
Dave looks over at Tony. He asks, “Tony, would you like to solve the puzzle?”
We see a shot of Tony. He thinks, then says, “Is it ‘Dicen que el que se pica los come’?”
We cut to a shot of some Spanish “Wheel of Fortune” show and the puzzle is revealed: Dicen que el que se pica los come. DING! Tony’s a winner!
WHAT THE HELL IS MITT ROMNEY TALKING ABOUT?
From Monday’s “Nightline”: Reporter: “You’re a fighter.” Romney: “That’s exactly right. A Romney drowns in the river and looks upstream for the body.” Laughs.
Tony, would you like to solve the puzzle? Tony: “Queda mucha tela que cortar.”
DING!!
And now, we’ll be right back after this word from Kleenex.
Roll vt – “Americans need a facial tissue that works as hard as they do. That’s why Kleenex is there for you . . . . whether you’re suffering a small cold or in the midst of a crazed breakdown after losing a football game.
Kleenex --- the tissue people.”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES:
We see our President walking arm-in-arm with Prince Salman Bin Abdul Aziz. Bush walks with a sword resting on his shoulder. He reminded me of a boy at this 6th grade graduation walking to get his diploma with a girl on his arm.
ACT 2:
Dave delivers a sandwich from the Carnegie Deli to the hungry woman in the audience. It looks like corned beef. Dave later calls it pastrami.
Tony, would you like to solve the puzzle?
Tony: “Horario agenda y calendario”
DING!!
TOP TEN: Programs on Oprah’s New Television Network --- next year, Oprah will launch her very own cable network, called OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network.
10. “Law & Oprah”
9. “The Oprentice”
8. “As Oprah’s World Turns”
7. “Two and a Half Steadmens”
6. “Hawaii Five-Oprah”
5. “Gayle King of Queens”
4. No number 4 --- writer making his bucket list.
3. “Sofa Repair with Tom Cruise”
2. “Oprahstar Galactica”
1. “More Bull-‘djoy’ From Dr. Phil”
ACT 3: MICHAEL DOUGLAS: Michael has two sons with his wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones, ages 4 and 7. They do a lot of skiing together and are already very good. They started when they were three-years-old.
I once worked at a ski center as a snowmaker. I would marvel at how these wee little kids would zoom and zig-zag down the hill. It was explained to me that their center of gravity is so low that they rarely fall over. They are quick learners.
Does Dave ski? NO.
Michael hurt himself recently so he can’t get on the slopes as much as he would like. He’s since noticed that his kids are faster on the slopes than he is. Now Michael spends his time looking for sports that he is faster at than his boys.
Dave shares that there are times when he is lying down on the sofa and Harry will come up to him and ask him to play. What goes through Dave’s mind? “I know I’m gonna get up but I don’t know if I’m gonna get up next year.” I know what Dave means. At my age, watching football on the TV is now considered an activity.
Dave and Michael then lament their advancing age and discuss how hard it is to read and follow the instructions that come with the kids’ toys. Dave always has a problem opening things. I expected the two of them to start talking about their prostate.
Dave asks Michael if his kids have seen any of his movies. Michael says he has been making movies for 40 years, but there is not one movie his kids can see. He recently took them to a museum that featured a dinosaur movie. Michael knew the movie because he did the voice-over for it. He didn’t let his son know, though. After the film was over, his son said to him, “Dad, that was the best movie you’ve ever done.”
And Michael now is the voice of the NBC Nightly News. Watch it tonight and you’ll hear his opening announce. Douglas insinuates he next has eyes on Alan Kalter’s job. Alan pretends not to be intimidated.
Michael’s is here to promote his most recent film, King of California, which will be available on DVD on January 29th. The film had a very limited release and Michael was not at all pleased with the distributor. From what I’ve read, and from listening to Dave, it’s an enjoyable, quirky film with a very sweet story. I think I might be taking a look at that. I like quirky and sweet.
On the cover of the DVD we see Michael with a full beard. He asks Dave about his beard. Dave said he loved the beard, which was met with a smattering of applause from the audience. Dave mutters, “Not exactly a mandate.” Michael says they had to touch up his beard for the movie to lessen the gray. Dave goes in the other direction about his own beard: “It couldn’t get white enough for me. I like being a coot.”
ACT 5: Announce: “And now, it’s time for Gary-oke, with Late Show electronic maintenance engineer, Gary Mintz.”
Gary, in front of the band, ‘sings,’ “You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC.
ACT 6: KATHERINE HEIGL: From ABC’s Grey’s Anatomy and the new film, 27 Dresses, which opens this Friday. The lovely Katherine Heigl recently got married . . . sorry, fellas . . . to a musician. It was a Christmas wedding in Utah. Dave exclaims, “That’s interesting, because there is a ‘Christmas wedding’ reference in the movie!”
A surprised Katherine says, “Is there?”
Katherine says she was fine about the wedding until she had a dream of her running away from the wedding through the mountains of Utah in her bathrobe and Uggs.
(Uggs --- boy, oh boy, I wish I invested in Uggs two years ago. I went to the mall the other day and every kid from 10 to 20 was wearing Uggs. And they were wearing a NorthFace jacket. When I was a teen, I wore Chuka boots and a CPO jacket.)
She and her fiancé got to Utah a few days early before the wedding and he wanted to go skiing. Katherine begged him not to go; afraid he would show off and break something. He assured her he would be fine. The day of the rehearsal, he cracked open his nose when he was showing off on the slopes. Not good.
Dave: “He sounds like a bonehead!”
And then right after the wedding, he threw a snowball or something and wedding ring went flying off.
Dave: “What a dope that guy is!”
Katherine loved Dave’s barbs as she pictured her husband, Josh Kelley, at home fuming.
On the bright side, Katherine was able to keep these two incidents over her husband and could always refer to it as an example of his ineptitude. Unfortunately, on the way to their honeymoon in Mexico, Katherine forgot her passport. She lost all the leverage she once held. Oooh, that’s too bad. Having leverage in a marriage is everything. “27 Dresses – it opens this Friday.
ACT 7: WYCLEF JEAN: From his CD, “Carnival Volume II: Memoirs of an Immigrant,” Wyclef Jean performed “Sweetest Girl.”
And that was our show for Wednesday January 16, 2008.
I’ve enjoyed listening to the Green Bay radio sports talk shows on the internet this week. All the Packer callers are already talking about playing the New England Patriots. They are all looking past the Giants.
Meanwhile, much to the chagrin of the FOX network, this year’s Super Bowl will be between the Giants and the San Diego Chargers. I usually root against what TV wants, since I blame them for the 6:30 starts for the playoffs and Super Bowl.
Oprah’s new cable network --- OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network . . . I thought Paul Newman owned OWN.
Are the bad singers we see on American Idol really supposed to be entertaining? Are they supposed to be funny? If so, I don’t get it. But I watch because my girls like it. Last night they had a model boyfriend of one of the female singers on the show. My daughter, 12-years-old, exclaimed, “He’s HOT!” I was a bit surprised that she noticed such a thing. I know, I know, you don’t have to tell me. Of course she would notice. But then she added, “I could bake cookies on him!”
“Huh?” I asked.
She clarified, “He’s so hot I could bake cookies on him!”
Oy vey.
I think if a United States Senator wants to run for President, he or she should have to take a leave of absence and forfeit their salary while doing so. Of course that goes for incumbent Governors and congressmen as well.
The Giants/Packer game starts at 6:30 this Sunday and I blame the Chicago Cubs for that. I’ll explain in Friday’s Wahoo.
Watch for the New Jersey Nets to make a trade for the Indiana Pacers Jermaine O’Neil any day now.
I walked by the Dunkin Donuts the other day at the new mall in West Nyack. There were 13 people on line. Someone came up to the line, checked how long it was, and decided to get in the line. I really wanted to ask that person, “How long would the line have to be before you would decide not to get on it?” For anything besides a beer, my limit is about 3.
And don’t forget, to get a daily recap of the Late Show with David Letterman, check out the Wahoo Gazette, which can be found at www.cbs.com/lateshow.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Orlando, Florida, it’s Jon Solomonson
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • "Rambo" Commercial • Tony Mendez plays Spanish "Wheel of Fortune" • "What the Hell is Mitt Romney Talking About?" • Tony Mendez plays Spanish "Wheel of Fortune" • Kleenex ad with Terrell Owens • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
ACT 2 • Dave Gets Sandwich from Carnegie Deli for audience member • Tony Mendez plays Spanish "Wheel of Fortune" • Top Ten Programs on Oprah's New Television Network Read now
