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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Steve Carell; Christopher Russo; and Band of Horses. PLUS:New Trees in the City; Trump’s New Book; Something from the NYC Transit Authority; the Mona Lisa; a Top Ten List; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; and the Team of Elliott and Mulligan Here for “Skink, the Bounty Hunter”
“ . . . . and now, the Liberace of Baghdad . . . . . David Letterman!
ACT 1
Dave talks about the city’s mayor, Mayor Bloomberger, whose biggest problem is that he’s too short. Paul pipes, “Just like Abe Beame.” I laughed at the reference that was so old that half the home viewers weren’t even born when Beame was mayor. I find that any reference to Abe Beame is very funny.
New York City has begun an ambitious project to plant a million new trees in the five boroughs, and it looks like they’ll really brighten up the place. We take a look. Announce: “Mayor Bloomberger is proud to announce that the first of a million new trees was recently planted in the city. This ambitious project will primarily target the city’s most blighted spots, bringing beauty and life to bleak, abandoned places where only hopelessness and despair have bloomed.
New York City: the other white meat.”
Dave throws the blue card through the window. We hear glass breaking and the announce: “This Is CNN.”
Donald Trump has a new book that came out on Tuesday called, “Think Big and Kick Ass.” It’s a fascinating read, and in the back is something Dave finds a bit unusual. He opens to the back of the book to reveal an application to become the next Mrs. Trump. Odd, but not so odd in a Trump book.
Dave throws the blue card through the window. We hear glass breaking and an old “ahhooga” horn.
To help commuters find their way around, New York City’s Transit Authority is installing directional markers on sidewalks outside subway stations. It is explained in this announcement.
Announce: “Even the most seasoned commuters can sometimes lose their bearings while underground. That’s why the MTA is installing helpful sidewalk decals outside subway stations to point people in the right direction whether they’re looking for a particular street (photo of sidewalk directional decal), a tourist attraction (directional decal pointing out the Empire State Building), or various goods and services (directional decal pointing where to find hookers, strip clubs, and peep shows). The MTA: Going Your Way.”
Dave throws the blue card through the window. We hear the glass breaking and the deep baritone croon of Barry White, “Ohhh, baby.”
Using a specially-designed camera to produce an enhanced version of the Mona Lisa, a French researcher says he was able to find eyebrows, eye lashes, and some other elements which have heretofore gone unnoticed. It’s all covered in this fascinating announcement.
Announce: “Using a high-definition camera that used infra-red and ultra-violet technology, a French engineer was able to produce an ultra high-resolution version of the Mona Lisa. While studying the image, he was able to make out indications of eyebrows and eyelashes. Studying the image even closer, he was able to uncover something else about the iconic painting that had gone previously undetected . . . . she’s wearing a hat.”
Paid for by a museum.”
Dave throws the blue card through the window. We hear the glass breaking and Larry King bark, “Hello, Clearwater, Florida.”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES Bush: “Is it . . .I . . . ummm… recognize . . . we live in a . . .”
ACT 2
Back from commercial, Dave spends some time flipping and catching pencils.
CHRIS ELLIOTT AND GERARD MULLIGAN: From the hit new show, “Skink, The Bounty Hunter.”
To watch their entire segment, click on the link under "Last Night on the Late Show" in the column to the right.
ACT 3 TOP TEN: Reasons Joe Torre Quit – earlier tonight, Joe Torre turned down a $5 million, one-year contract to manage the New York Yankees. Signed in 1995, Torre has managed the Yankees since the 1996 season.
Even Yogi Berra told him, “It’s over.”
The writers began writing this new top ten 15 minutes before the start of the show when it was announced that Joe Torre signed, and then had to start all over 5 minutes later when it was learned that Torre wouldn’t accept the offer.
STEVE CARELL: From the film, Dan In Real Life and NBC’s The Office. Dave was a big big fan of the original The Office with Ricky Gervais. Did Steve ever watch the original? He resisted. He wanted to make the character his own. But then he did take a peek at one of the episodes and immediately realized he had made a terrible mistake. Steve knew that his performance could never match that of Gervais. Steve feels he’s taken a fantastic show and ruined it. Ricky Gervais did offer some advice to Steve, suggesting he make the character his own and try to make the other cast members laugh. None of that has worked. Not once has he made the other cast members laugh. The pessimistic Carell doesn’t have high hopes for the very funny and successful NBC program, now in its 4th season.
In high school, Steve was a hockey goalie. Hockey fans today see goalies playing with heavily padded masks, something like a baseball catcher’s mask. It offers a lot of protection. When Steve first started, the mask was nothing but a piece of thin fiberglass with a little gauze for padding. Getting hit in the face with a puck while wearing a mask like this may prevent bleeding, but it won’t stop you from getting knocked out. This happened to Steve more than once. He remembers one time on his traveling hockey team, the night before a game he stayed at the home of the opposing team’s goalie. This is common in youth sports when you travel a distance for an away game. Instead of footing the bill for a hotel, to save money the players stay at the home of an opposing player. It’s supposed to build sportsmanship. So the day of the game, Steve gets knocked on the head with a puck and he goes down. The first to reach him is the father of the opposing team’s goalie. He gets down over Steve and trying to gauge the injury, asks, “Steve! Steve! What’s my name?” Steve had no idea. He hadn’t met the father the day before. Steve was fine, but he didn’t know the man’s name. It took some convincing that he had his wits about him.
Steve’s new film, “Dan In Real Life” opens October 26th. He stars alongside Juliet Binoche. Nice going, Steve!
ACT 4, 6 CHRISTOPHER “MAD DOG” RUSSO: sports talk radio host here in New York on WFAN. He teams up Mike Francesca to man the #1 sports show in New York, “Mike and the Mad Dog.”
What does he make of the news about Joe Torre not re-signing with the Yankees. This story was hanging in the balance all day. I was watching the telecast of his “Mike and the Mad Dog” radio show when word came down that Joe Torre had agreed to sign for another year with the Yankees. Twenty minutes later when Russo got to the theater, it’s reported that Torre turned it down. Our segment producer was outside Dave’s dressing room waiting to tell Dave that Torre had signed. Minutes later he had to go back in and tell Dave that the deal fell through. This was the same time calls were being made to change and update the Top Ten.
Russo says the Yankees handled this whole thing terribly. He feels the Yankee ownership embarrassed Joe Torre by leaving him hanging like this, and then offering a contract for $2 million less than he earned this year. Russo calls it an awful job.
Says Dave, “Who would have thought Joe Torre would be out of a job and Isiah Thomas would still have his?”
High energy, is Mr. Russo. Very entertaining. Good sports guest.
ACT 5 Announce: “Coming up next, who stops by to surprise Dave? The cast of ‘Who’s The Boss?”! You won’t want to miss this one! We’ll be right back.”
ACT 7 BAND OF HORSES: From their new CD, “Cease To Begin,” Band of Horses performed “Is There A Ghost.”
And that was our show for Thursday October 18, 2007.
My take on the Torre deal . . . . or no deal . . . if he wanted to manage the New York Yankees, he should have signed the one-year contract. Who cares about the perceived disrespect? Wanna manage the Yankees? Go ahead and manage the Yankees. Whatever the salary offered, he was not going to be waiting on a breadline. He should do what he wants to do and forget about the money when the money is already in the stratosphere.
$5 million to manage the Yankees in the final year of Yankee Stadium is pretty attractive. I keep hearing words like “dignity” and “respect.” Ugh. I hate these self-inflicting emotions. Everybody needs to get over themselves. We aren’t all that important. Bite the bullet and experience the glory of managing the New York Yankees in the final season of Yankee Stadium. I don’t know; maybe I’m putting too much into this “final year of Yankee Stadium.” To me, it’s a really big deal. But it doesn’t seem so to anyone else.
Joe Torre was the highest paid manager in baseball twice over. He needs to remember that before he got to the Yankees, he managed the Cardinals and the Mets. The game’s best manager should take another look at his record in those places. And he should remember the headlines when he was hired by the Yankees after the 1995 season: “Clueless Joe.”
And with all that being said, I probably know less than 2% of what actually went on behind closed doors. I have no idea of what it’s like to be manager of the Yankees and to work for the Steinbrenners. I’m sure that’s no cakewalk. Heck, $5 million may be underpaid, although that comes to $100,000 a week, including weeks in November, December, and January.
Here comes some more talk from ignorance: And what does it take to manage the American League Yankees? With the DH, there’s never a need to make a decision to pinch hit for the pitcher in a 1-1 game in the 7th. And with the Yankee line-up, how often do you need to pinch hit for someone? The catcher Jorge Posada is a switch-hitter. That leaves first base. Other than that, no one is coming out of the game. Mr. Torre’s biggest strength was his ability to run a smooth clubhouse. With a team full of all-stars comes a team full of all-star egos. It’s been a pretty clean and quiet clubhouse for the past 12 years. I have a felling that’s something the team will sorely miss in 2008.
Final comment on the subject (for today): What does Joe Torre want to be doing in June? 1. Sitting in the Yankee dugout managing the New York Yankees in the final season of Yankee Stadium and being paid $5 million;
OR 2. Sitting behind a desk on SportsCenter talking about the Pittsburgh Pirates for a fraction of that.
Manny Ramirez when asked how he would feel if the Red Sox lost to the Cleveland Indians in the playoffs? --- Manny says, “Who cares? It’s not the end of the world.”
Manny Manny Manny, of course it’s the truth, but you’re not supposed to say that; you’re not supposed to admit that.
I played high school sports throughout my high school career. I wanted to win but more times than not, did not. I was able to accept losing, realizing it was all part of the game. And then I went to college knowing full well my playing days were over. My roommate freshman year was a soccer sensation. He was a 4-year starter at SUNY Cortland. I rarely missed a game in those four years. I found myself more emotionally involved in those games than I ever was playing in high school. The wins were greater, the losses were tougher. This is when I began to realize that winning and losing means more to the fan than to the participant. Especially at the professional level. Die-hard Yankee fans were morose after the team lost to the Indians last week. And then these fans had to get up and go to work the next day, battling the morning commute; battling their boss. The Yankees? They could do whatever they wanted; fly wherever the wanted; vacation wherever they wanted. They woke up the next morning and realized once again they were still millionaires. That’s a nice cushion to fall on after a loss. I think it was old-time Yankee reliever Goose Gossage who told a story about being on the mound in a one-run game with men on base in a playoff game. He was nervous. And then he told himself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” His answer was “the batter could get a hit, the Yankees would lose, and tomorrow I would be hunting at my cabin in Michigan.” Pro players realize it’s a job and all they can do is try their best . . . . and if it doesn’t turn out right, let it go. Fans live with the losses longer than the players.
What? You’re still here? I thought you would have stopped reading long ago.
Oh, and about Alex Rodriguez . . .. I hope the Yankees sign him but there is also a part of me that would like to see someone else sign him for $30 million a year. The Yankees are the only team that could afford him (guaranteed 4 million in attendance for the next 5 years), but I wouldn’t mind seeing another team crumble their salary structure and explode their salary cap with no money left over for middle relief and decent 3, 4, and 5 starters.
WAHOO PHILOSOPHY CORNER
Tonight’s featured Philosopher: Socrates
- “It is not living that matters, but living rightly.”
- “Let him that would move the world, first move himself.”
- "I drank WHAT?"
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Franklin, Tennessee, it’s Sam Farris
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Steve Carell; Christopher Russo; and Band of Horses. PLUS:New Trees in the City; Trump’s New Book; Something from the NYC Transit Authority; the Mona Lisa; a Top Ten List; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; and the Team of Elliott and Mulligan Here for “Skink, the Bounty Hunter”
“ . . . . and now, the Liberace of Baghdad . . . . . David Letterman!
ACT 1
Dave talks about the city’s mayor, Mayor Bloomberger, whose biggest problem is that he’s too short. Paul pipes, “Just like Abe Beame.” I laughed at the reference that was so old that half the home viewers weren’t even born when Beame was mayor. I find that any reference to Abe Beame is very funny.
New York City has begun an ambitious project to plant a million new trees in the five boroughs, and it looks like they’ll really brighten up the place. We take a look. Announce: “Mayor Bloomberger is proud to announce that the first of a million new trees was recently planted in the city. This ambitious project will primarily target the city’s most blighted spots, bringing beauty and life to bleak, abandoned places where only hopelessness and despair have bloomed.
New York City: the other white meat.”
Dave throws the blue card through the window. We hear glass breaking and the announce: “This Is CNN.”
Donald Trump has a new book that came out on Tuesday called, “Think Big and Kick Ass.” It’s a fascinating read, and in the back is something Dave finds a bit unusual. He opens to the back of the book to reveal an application to become the next Mrs. Trump. Odd, but not so odd in a Trump book.
Dave throws the blue card through the window. We hear glass breaking and an old “ahhooga” horn.
To help commuters find their way around, New York City’s Transit Authority is installing directional markers on sidewalks outside subway stations. It is explained in this announcement.
Announce: “Even the most seasoned commuters can sometimes lose their bearings while underground. That’s why the MTA is installing helpful sidewalk decals outside subway stations to point people in the right direction whether they’re looking for a particular street (photo of sidewalk directional decal), a tourist attraction (directional decal pointing out the Empire State Building), or various goods and services (directional decal pointing where to find hookers, strip clubs, and peep shows). The MTA: Going Your Way.”
Dave throws the blue card through the window. We hear the glass breaking and the deep baritone croon of Barry White, “Ohhh, baby.”
Using a specially-designed camera to produce an enhanced version of the Mona Lisa, a French researcher says he was able to find eyebrows, eye lashes, and some other elements which have heretofore gone unnoticed. It’s all covered in this fascinating announcement.
Announce: “Using a high-definition camera that used infra-red and ultra-violet technology, a French engineer was able to produce an ultra high-resolution version of the Mona Lisa. While studying the image, he was able to make out indications of eyebrows and eyelashes. Studying the image even closer, he was able to uncover something else about the iconic painting that had gone previously undetected . . . . she’s wearing a hat.”
Paid for by a museum.”
Dave throws the blue card through the window. We hear the glass breaking and Larry King bark, “Hello, Clearwater, Florida.”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES Bush: “Is it . . .I . . . ummm… recognize . . . we live in a . . .”
ACT 2
Back from commercial, Dave spends some time flipping and catching pencils.
CHRIS ELLIOTT AND GERARD MULLIGAN: From the hit new show, “Skink, The Bounty Hunter.”
To watch their entire segment, click on the link under "Last Night on the Late Show" in the column to the right.
ACT 3 TOP TEN: Reasons Joe Torre Quit – earlier tonight, Joe Torre turned down a $5 million, one-year contract to manage the New York Yankees. Signed in 1995, Torre has managed the Yankees since the 1996 season.
Even Yogi Berra told him, “It’s over.”
The writers began writing this new top ten 15 minutes before the start of the show when it was announced that Joe Torre signed, and then had to start all over 5 minutes later when it was learned that Torre wouldn’t accept the offer.
STEVE CARELL: From the film, Dan In Real Life and NBC’s The Office. Dave was a big big fan of the original The Office with Ricky Gervais. Did Steve ever watch the original? He resisted. He wanted to make the character his own. But then he did take a peek at one of the episodes and immediately realized he had made a terrible mistake. Steve knew that his performance could never match that of Gervais. Steve feels he’s taken a fantastic show and ruined it. Ricky Gervais did offer some advice to Steve, suggesting he make the character his own and try to make the other cast members laugh. None of that has worked. Not once has he made the other cast members laugh. The pessimistic Carell doesn’t have high hopes for the very funny and successful NBC program, now in its 4th season.
In high school, Steve was a hockey goalie. Hockey fans today see goalies playing with heavily padded masks, something like a baseball catcher’s mask. It offers a lot of protection. When Steve first started, the mask was nothing but a piece of thin fiberglass with a little gauze for padding. Getting hit in the face with a puck while wearing a mask like this may prevent bleeding, but it won’t stop you from getting knocked out. This happened to Steve more than once. He remembers one time on his traveling hockey team, the night before a game he stayed at the home of the opposing team’s goalie. This is common in youth sports when you travel a distance for an away game. Instead of footing the bill for a hotel, to save money the players stay at the home of an opposing player. It’s supposed to build sportsmanship. So the day of the game, Steve gets knocked on the head with a puck and he goes down. The first to reach him is the father of the opposing team’s goalie. He gets down over Steve and trying to gauge the injury, asks, “Steve! Steve! What’s my name?” Steve had no idea. He hadn’t met the father the day before. Steve was fine, but he didn’t know the man’s name. It took some convincing that he had his wits about him.
Steve’s new film, “Dan In Real Life” opens October 26th. He stars alongside Juliet Binoche. Nice going, Steve!
ACT 4, 6 CHRISTOPHER “MAD DOG” RUSSO: sports talk radio host here in New York on WFAN. He teams up Mike Francesca to man the #1 sports show in New York, “Mike and the Mad Dog.”
What does he make of the news about Joe Torre not re-signing with the Yankees. This story was hanging in the balance all day. I was watching the telecast of his “Mike and the Mad Dog” radio show when word came down that Joe Torre had agreed to sign for another year with the Yankees. Twenty minutes later when Russo got to the theater, it’s reported that Torre turned it down. Our segment producer was outside Dave’s dressing room waiting to tell Dave that Torre had signed. Minutes later he had to go back in and tell Dave that the deal fell through. This was the same time calls were being made to change and update the Top Ten.
Russo says the Yankees handled this whole thing terribly. He feels the Yankee ownership embarrassed Joe Torre by leaving him hanging like this, and then offering a contract for $2 million less than he earned this year. Russo calls it an awful job.
Says Dave, “Who would have thought Joe Torre would be out of a job and Isiah Thomas would still have his?”
High energy, is Mr. Russo. Very entertaining. Good sports guest.
ACT 5 Announce: “Coming up next, who stops by to surprise Dave? The cast of ‘Who’s The Boss?”! You won’t want to miss this one! We’ll be right back.”
ACT 7 BAND OF HORSES: From their new CD, “Cease To Begin,” Band of Horses performed “Is There A Ghost.”
And that was our show for Thursday October 18, 2007.
My take on the Torre deal . . . . or no deal . . . if he wanted to manage the New York Yankees, he should have signed the one-year contract. Who cares about the perceived disrespect? Wanna manage the Yankees? Go ahead and manage the Yankees. Whatever the salary offered, he was not going to be waiting on a breadline. He should do what he wants to do and forget about the money when the money is already in the stratosphere.
$5 million to manage the Yankees in the final year of Yankee Stadium is pretty attractive. I keep hearing words like “dignity” and “respect.” Ugh. I hate these self-inflicting emotions. Everybody needs to get over themselves. We aren’t all that important. Bite the bullet and experience the glory of managing the New York Yankees in the final season of Yankee Stadium. I don’t know; maybe I’m putting too much into this “final year of Yankee Stadium.” To me, it’s a really big deal. But it doesn’t seem so to anyone else.
Joe Torre was the highest paid manager in baseball twice over. He needs to remember that before he got to the Yankees, he managed the Cardinals and the Mets. The game’s best manager should take another look at his record in those places. And he should remember the headlines when he was hired by the Yankees after the 1995 season: “Clueless Joe.”
And with all that being said, I probably know less than 2% of what actually went on behind closed doors. I have no idea of what it’s like to be manager of the Yankees and to work for the Steinbrenners. I’m sure that’s no cakewalk. Heck, $5 million may be underpaid, although that comes to $100,000 a week, including weeks in November, December, and January.
Here comes some more talk from ignorance: And what does it take to manage the American League Yankees? With the DH, there’s never a need to make a decision to pinch hit for the pitcher in a 1-1 game in the 7th. And with the Yankee line-up, how often do you need to pinch hit for someone? The catcher Jorge Posada is a switch-hitter. That leaves first base. Other than that, no one is coming out of the game. Mr. Torre’s biggest strength was his ability to run a smooth clubhouse. With a team full of all-stars comes a team full of all-star egos. It’s been a pretty clean and quiet clubhouse for the past 12 years. I have a felling that’s something the team will sorely miss in 2008.
Final comment on the subject (for today): What does Joe Torre want to be doing in June? 1. Sitting in the Yankee dugout managing the New York Yankees in the final season of Yankee Stadium and being paid $5 million;
OR 2. Sitting behind a desk on SportsCenter talking about the Pittsburgh Pirates for a fraction of that.
Manny Ramirez when asked how he would feel if the Red Sox lost to the Cleveland Indians in the playoffs? --- Manny says, “Who cares? It’s not the end of the world.”
Manny Manny Manny, of course it’s the truth, but you’re not supposed to say that; you’re not supposed to admit that.
I played high school sports throughout my high school career. I wanted to win but more times than not, did not. I was able to accept losing, realizing it was all part of the game. And then I went to college knowing full well my playing days were over. My roommate freshman year was a soccer sensation. He was a 4-year starter at SUNY Cortland. I rarely missed a game in those four years. I found myself more emotionally involved in those games than I ever was playing in high school. The wins were greater, the losses were tougher. This is when I began to realize that winning and losing means more to the fan than to the participant. Especially at the professional level. Die-hard Yankee fans were morose after the team lost to the Indians last week. And then these fans had to get up and go to work the next day, battling the morning commute; battling their boss. The Yankees? They could do whatever they wanted; fly wherever the wanted; vacation wherever they wanted. They woke up the next morning and realized once again they were still millionaires. That’s a nice cushion to fall on after a loss. I think it was old-time Yankee reliever Goose Gossage who told a story about being on the mound in a one-run game with men on base in a playoff game. He was nervous. And then he told himself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” His answer was “the batter could get a hit, the Yankees would lose, and tomorrow I would be hunting at my cabin in Michigan.” Pro players realize it’s a job and all they can do is try their best . . . . and if it doesn’t turn out right, let it go. Fans live with the losses longer than the players.
What? You’re still here? I thought you would have stopped reading long ago.
Oh, and about Alex Rodriguez . . .. I hope the Yankees sign him but there is also a part of me that would like to see someone else sign him for $30 million a year. The Yankees are the only team that could afford him (guaranteed 4 million in attendance for the next 5 years), but I wouldn’t mind seeing another team crumble their salary structure and explode their salary cap with no money left over for middle relief and decent 3, 4, and 5 starters.
WAHOO PHILOSOPHY CORNER
Tonight’s featured Philosopher: Socrates
- “It is not living that matters, but living rightly.”
- “Let him that would move the world, first move himself.”
- "I drank WHAT?"
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Franklin, Tennessee, it’s Sam Farris
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • New York City: Planting Trees • New Donald Trump Book, "Think Big and Kick Ass" • NYC Subway Directions • High-Resolution Mona Lisa • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
