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THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Nicollette Sheridan; Tony Snow, and Rihanna. PLUS:Ramadan at the White House; OJ’s Rolex Watch; Is This a Rerun?; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; a Top Ten List; and Television’s Hottest New Show, A&E’s “Skink, The Bounty Hunter.”
“ . . . and now, ill-tempered Maitre D’ . . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1
Dave makes a plea. He’s been hoping he wouldn’t have to say this, but it’s been going on too long. If you have any thought on the topic of . . . . potty training (big reaction from the audience – obviously something from the pre-show Q&A), send them into our website and Dave will see that they are looked at. In the meantime, leave Dave out of it.
He’ll be out of the country until it’s accomplished.
Potty training? If the boy has to stay in Pampers for the rest of his life, it’s fine with Dave. He asks Paul for advice. Dave’s heard it’s easier with girls than boys. Paul says he used to sing to them during potty training. It went something like “No Diapies for baby boy” with a jazz beat tempo. Dave considers the idea. Nothing else has worked.
Addressing my concern over my girls during potty training, the doctor told me, “Relax. They won’t be walking down the aisle to get married wearing a diaper. They’ll get it eventually. Just relax.”
Earlier tonight, the White House held a special dinner and prayer service in honor of the holy Muslim month of Ramadan. And it looks like it went almost perfectly. Announce: (photos of Ramadan-ish images) “On behalf of everyone at the White House, we’d like to thank all the people who helped us celebrate Islam’s holiest month by attending our Ramadan dinner. We’d also like to apologize for not properly explaining the occasion to the President.” (photo of George W. Bush at a Ramadan dinner. The President is in a Batman Halloween costume holding a jack-o-lantern.)
George W. Bush: 29% and falling.”
Oh, that OJ Simpson. Trouble follows the man around. In his latest setback, he was forced to give up his Rolex watch this week, but judging from this announcement, he seems to be taking it pretty well. Announce: “To pay off the damages from his 1997 civil trial, OJ Simpson has been forced to hand over his Rolex watch. So if you have an appointment to be robbed, assaulted, kidnapped, or murdered by OJ, please note that he may be running late until he gets a new watch. We appreciate your patience, and thanks for choosing OJ!”
After the OJ thing, we hear a guy from the audience saying “Excuse me. Excuse me, sir. Excuse me.” He wasn’t trying to get Dave’s attention; he was saying “Excuse me” to those in his aisle. Dave finally hears the commotion and asks what’s going on. We see the guy trying to get through the row of seats to the aisle. He looks up at Dave and says, “This is a rerun. I’ve seen this episode before.” The guy finally makes it to the aisle and exits out the back. Dave is confused. He could swear this isn’t a rerun.
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
This was on of the better ones.
ACT 2 CHRIS ELLIOTT AND GERARD MULLIGAN – stars of the new A&E big hit, “Skink, The Bounty Hunter.” To watch their entire appearance, click on the appropriate link under "Last Night on the Late Show" in the column to the right.
On Monday, I wrote about shooting that scene with Chris Elliott. To recap: “I taped something with Chris Elliott on Friday. In the scene I had to smoke a cigarette. It was the end of the day and right after that I went home. When I kissed my daughter Danielle she smelled the cigarette on my breath. I told her why I had to smoke a cigarette but I think she would have rather I shot heroin. I told her not to worry and that it was only one cigarette. She said, ‘Yeah, but that’s what they all say.’ She was playing the parent and I was the child. I then told her I would get paid for doing the scene and I would give her half. She snaps, ‘I don’t want it.’”
ACT 3 NICOLLETTE SHERIDAN: I don’t know why but all day long I had to keep telling myself, “Nicollette Sheridan . . . . Sheridan . . . not Nicollette Larsen.” I don’t even know who Nicollette Larsen is, but whenever I said the name “Nicollette,” Nicollette Larsen came to mind; not Nicollette Sheridan. Every time I typed her name on a blue card, I had to tell myself “Sheridan.” I double-checked the cards a few times just to make sure I didn’t absent mindedly type in “Larsen” by mistake. Who is Nicollette Larsen? I had to Google it. I really didn’t know. I found that Nicollette Larsen was a singer from the ‘70s.
In last year’s final episode of Desperate Housewives, Nicollette Sheridan hanged herself. It’s been a long summer. How’d she make out? Nicollette eyes Dave and correctly surmises, “Oh, you don’t watch the show?” Does Dave watch “Desperate”? I don’t know. My wife Denise loves it. I’ve only seen one full episode; the hostage situation in the supermarket where Roseanne’s sister on the “Roseanne” show gets killed. That episode was actually pretty good.
And we learned that Nicollette is engaged. To whom? Michael Bolton. They met 16 years ago at where they were introduced by Kenny G. When will they get married? No set date yet. What do they do for fun? They play Scrabble, and for the past 16 years have been keeping a tote board to see who has won more games. As it stands now, Nicollette has won 5 more games than Michael.
Nicollette was born in England, had Telly Savalas as a step-father, and was introduced to car-pooling when she moved to America.
One of her first acting jobs was appearing in an “Ooh La La, Sasson” jeans commercial. Ah, yes, the days of the designer jeans. Those 70s were fabulous. We watch the Sasson commercial. And it wasn’t just Sasson jeans, they were Sasson Stretch jeans.
And then when Dave says goodnight, he mistakenly calls her “Nicollette Larsen.” I immediately panicked, worried that I had typed that name someplace, misleading Dave. Not till a bit later did I find out that Dave made the mistake on his own. I guess it’s a generational thing.
ACT 4 TV GUIDE: Have you seen this week’s TV Guide? It’s a great mag, and for tonight’s Late Show they highlight: “Dave talks about potty training.” Dave is amazed at how fast the TV Guide gets this information out there. And then he considers, “I’m beginning to think this is a rerun!”
TOP TEN: Signs Hillary Clinton is Getting Cocky – she has a 33-point lead over her closest Democratic rival, Senator Barack Obama. #10. Already selected her victory pantsuit. #4. Already issuing memo about putting White House toilet seats down --- the ladies know what I’m talking about!
ACT 5 Announce: “Don’t forget to tune in next week for the kickoff of the Late Show’s Primate Week! Join Dave as he interviews your favorite primates! You can’t miss this! We’ll be right back with more lasers and explosions.”
ACT 6 TONY SNOW: He once had the most difficult job in the world: The White House Press Secretary for President George W. Bush. Even though the job would seem to be horrible, Tony Snow says he loved it. He too was once one of those reporters and is aware of what they go through, what they want, what they need, and the tricks they may play to get the above. How did he get the job? After being approached by the White House, he was called in to meet with the President. Tony says it’s kind of hard to say no to the President of the United States. When the job was being pitched, they explained a lot of what would be involved. At the end they added, “. . . . but if you’re not up to the challenge . . . .” Tony says that’s what got him.
Things can’t be too chipper around the White House these days with Bush’s approval rating in the low 30s. Tony says he would like it to be better, but everyone hates what’s going on in Washington these days. He points out that Congress has an 11% approval rating. (Headline: People favor the President over Congress, 3 to 1.) The President understands that “easy but wrong” isn’t good. He’s had to make some hard, difficult decision which he believes will become more apparent years from now.
Does the President know all the late night talk shows make fun of him? Says Dave, “Every dope like me is making jokes about the President, whether Democrat or Republican . . . and we’ve had some pretty good luck with Presidents lately . . .” Does the President see the jokes made at his expense? Tony says all the jokes are recorded and circulated every day and the President has a great sense of humor about it. Their sense of humor and true personalities don’t always come through, though. Tony mentions Bob Dole, Al Gore, and John Kerry who are very engaging and great guys, but you don’t get that sense when they are campaigning because they are so message-driven and disciplined. They come across as stiff and single-minded. Most of them are not like that at all.
Tony has been battling cancer for a few years now and now, thankfully, it is in remission and is currently undergoing chemo-therapy. Since he’s stepped down as Press Secretary, he’s been busy making speeches, considering book deals, and exploring work in radio and television.
ACT 7 RIHANNA: From her CD, “Good Girl Gone Bad,” Rihanna performed “Shut Up and Drive.”
And that was our show for Thursday October 4, 2007.
Johnny Damon, the very first batter last night in the Yankee/Indian playoff game, hit a line drive down the right field line for a home run, but the umpire down the line called it foul. Yankee Manager Joe Torre went out to argue. The umpires decided to group and discuss. After a short chat, the umpires decided it was a home run. Yippee. During the regular season, a game is played with four umpires. During the playoffs and World Series, they use six. The umpire who makes the home run call down the line is one of the extra umps and is making the call from a position he hasn’t been in all year. Maybe a week before the playoffs, the post-season umpire crews of six should work together for the final 5 games or so? Let them get used to their new position before the playoffs begin.
Is that anything?
10-4 DAY – Did you thank a ham radio operator?
Have you been watching the baseball playoffs on TBS? I have. And when I saw a commercial for Frank Caliendo’s new show, “Frank TV” on TBS, I was eager to watch an episode. But then I saw another commercial for “Frank TV,” and then another and another and then another another another and another. And then I saw another one. And then one more commercial for Frank Caliendo’s “Frank TV.” And then another. By this time I really didn’t want to see “Frank TV” anymore. Nice going, TBS!
La Jolla, California . . . a town on the move!
I had a beef about pencils a while back. The quality of today’s pencils is extremely poor. I find the pencil points break way too easily. Well, I was home this morning and it happened again when I least expected it . . . . which is rare since I now expect my pencil points to break. And I’m not the only one who is aware of the poor quality.
I received this some weeks ago from Wahoo reader Betsy Waggener:
“I know exactly what you mean about the pencils! I have three children, ages 12, 15, and 17, and I first noticed about 8 years ago, after purchasing school supplies and sharpening about 30 pencils, that they were crap, i.e. not the great, reliable pencils of my youth. I'm glad someone else has noticed, too. I always look for a national brand now. If I come across Ticonderogas, I'm thrilled.”
I find the pinker the wood in the pencil, the longer it lasts.
Watching the Boston Red Sox Wednesday night changed my mind . . . I don’t want them winning the World Series this year. I’m not much of a fan of Manny’s game; and Schilling is not one of my favorites . . . and Josh Beckett is too good. If you’re keeping score at home, flip-flop the Red Sox and the Indians for my hope to make the World Series from the American League. My choices:
Yankees
Indians
Red Sox
Angels
I like the Angels a lot, but their Q Rating isn’t all that high in my book. They play good solid baseball without pizzazz, just the way I like it. But this “Los Angeles Angels from Anaheim” gimmick doesn’t sit well with me. But then again, after another Red Sox game I may inch the Angels ahead of the Red Sox in my preference.
Oh, hold everything. I forgot Kenny Lofton is on the Indians. Put them back to 3rd on my list. I’m not a Lofton fan, which made Wednesday’s game even more painful.
WAHOO PHILOSOPHY CORNER Socrates. (470 BC–399 BC) was a Classical Greek philosopher who is widely credited for laying the foundation for Western philosophy. Plato (428– 348BC), whose original name was Aristocles, was an ancient Greek philosopher, the second of the great trio of ancient Greeks –succeeding Socrates and preceding Aristotle Aristotle (384 BC – 322 BC) was a Greek philosopher, a student of Plato
Tonight’s featured Philosopher: ARISTOTLE
- “Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime.”
- “The gods too are fond of a joke.”
- “We are what we repeatedly do.”
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
New York Mets fan, Eddie Valk.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Nicollette Sheridan; Tony Snow, and Rihanna. PLUS:Ramadan at the White House; OJ’s Rolex Watch; Is This a Rerun?; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; a Top Ten List; and Television’s Hottest New Show, A&E’s “Skink, The Bounty Hunter.”
“ . . . and now, ill-tempered Maitre D’ . . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1
Dave makes a plea. He’s been hoping he wouldn’t have to say this, but it’s been going on too long. If you have any thought on the topic of . . . . potty training (big reaction from the audience – obviously something from the pre-show Q&A), send them into our website and Dave will see that they are looked at. In the meantime, leave Dave out of it.
He’ll be out of the country until it’s accomplished.
Potty training? If the boy has to stay in Pampers for the rest of his life, it’s fine with Dave. He asks Paul for advice. Dave’s heard it’s easier with girls than boys. Paul says he used to sing to them during potty training. It went something like “No Diapies for baby boy” with a jazz beat tempo. Dave considers the idea. Nothing else has worked.
Addressing my concern over my girls during potty training, the doctor told me, “Relax. They won’t be walking down the aisle to get married wearing a diaper. They’ll get it eventually. Just relax.”
Earlier tonight, the White House held a special dinner and prayer service in honor of the holy Muslim month of Ramadan. And it looks like it went almost perfectly. Announce: (photos of Ramadan-ish images) “On behalf of everyone at the White House, we’d like to thank all the people who helped us celebrate Islam’s holiest month by attending our Ramadan dinner. We’d also like to apologize for not properly explaining the occasion to the President.” (photo of George W. Bush at a Ramadan dinner. The President is in a Batman Halloween costume holding a jack-o-lantern.)
George W. Bush: 29% and falling.”
Oh, that OJ Simpson. Trouble follows the man around. In his latest setback, he was forced to give up his Rolex watch this week, but judging from this announcement, he seems to be taking it pretty well. Announce: “To pay off the damages from his 1997 civil trial, OJ Simpson has been forced to hand over his Rolex watch. So if you have an appointment to be robbed, assaulted, kidnapped, or murdered by OJ, please note that he may be running late until he gets a new watch. We appreciate your patience, and thanks for choosing OJ!”
After the OJ thing, we hear a guy from the audience saying “Excuse me. Excuse me, sir. Excuse me.” He wasn’t trying to get Dave’s attention; he was saying “Excuse me” to those in his aisle. Dave finally hears the commotion and asks what’s going on. We see the guy trying to get through the row of seats to the aisle. He looks up at Dave and says, “This is a rerun. I’ve seen this episode before.” The guy finally makes it to the aisle and exits out the back. Dave is confused. He could swear this isn’t a rerun.
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
This was on of the better ones.
ACT 2 CHRIS ELLIOTT AND GERARD MULLIGAN – stars of the new A&E big hit, “Skink, The Bounty Hunter.” To watch their entire appearance, click on the appropriate link under "Last Night on the Late Show" in the column to the right.
On Monday, I wrote about shooting that scene with Chris Elliott. To recap: “I taped something with Chris Elliott on Friday. In the scene I had to smoke a cigarette. It was the end of the day and right after that I went home. When I kissed my daughter Danielle she smelled the cigarette on my breath. I told her why I had to smoke a cigarette but I think she would have rather I shot heroin. I told her not to worry and that it was only one cigarette. She said, ‘Yeah, but that’s what they all say.’ She was playing the parent and I was the child. I then told her I would get paid for doing the scene and I would give her half. She snaps, ‘I don’t want it.’”
ACT 3 NICOLLETTE SHERIDAN: I don’t know why but all day long I had to keep telling myself, “Nicollette Sheridan . . . . Sheridan . . . not Nicollette Larsen.” I don’t even know who Nicollette Larsen is, but whenever I said the name “Nicollette,” Nicollette Larsen came to mind; not Nicollette Sheridan. Every time I typed her name on a blue card, I had to tell myself “Sheridan.” I double-checked the cards a few times just to make sure I didn’t absent mindedly type in “Larsen” by mistake. Who is Nicollette Larsen? I had to Google it. I really didn’t know. I found that Nicollette Larsen was a singer from the ‘70s.
In last year’s final episode of Desperate Housewives, Nicollette Sheridan hanged herself. It’s been a long summer. How’d she make out? Nicollette eyes Dave and correctly surmises, “Oh, you don’t watch the show?” Does Dave watch “Desperate”? I don’t know. My wife Denise loves it. I’ve only seen one full episode; the hostage situation in the supermarket where Roseanne’s sister on the “Roseanne” show gets killed. That episode was actually pretty good.
And we learned that Nicollette is engaged. To whom? Michael Bolton. They met 16 years ago at where they were introduced by Kenny G. When will they get married? No set date yet. What do they do for fun? They play Scrabble, and for the past 16 years have been keeping a tote board to see who has won more games. As it stands now, Nicollette has won 5 more games than Michael.
Nicollette was born in England, had Telly Savalas as a step-father, and was introduced to car-pooling when she moved to America.
One of her first acting jobs was appearing in an “Ooh La La, Sasson” jeans commercial. Ah, yes, the days of the designer jeans. Those 70s were fabulous. We watch the Sasson commercial. And it wasn’t just Sasson jeans, they were Sasson Stretch jeans.
And then when Dave says goodnight, he mistakenly calls her “Nicollette Larsen.” I immediately panicked, worried that I had typed that name someplace, misleading Dave. Not till a bit later did I find out that Dave made the mistake on his own. I guess it’s a generational thing.
ACT 4 TV GUIDE: Have you seen this week’s TV Guide? It’s a great mag, and for tonight’s Late Show they highlight: “Dave talks about potty training.” Dave is amazed at how fast the TV Guide gets this information out there. And then he considers, “I’m beginning to think this is a rerun!”
TOP TEN: Signs Hillary Clinton is Getting Cocky – she has a 33-point lead over her closest Democratic rival, Senator Barack Obama. #10. Already selected her victory pantsuit. #4. Already issuing memo about putting White House toilet seats down --- the ladies know what I’m talking about!
ACT 5 Announce: “Don’t forget to tune in next week for the kickoff of the Late Show’s Primate Week! Join Dave as he interviews your favorite primates! You can’t miss this! We’ll be right back with more lasers and explosions.”
ACT 6 TONY SNOW: He once had the most difficult job in the world: The White House Press Secretary for President George W. Bush. Even though the job would seem to be horrible, Tony Snow says he loved it. He too was once one of those reporters and is aware of what they go through, what they want, what they need, and the tricks they may play to get the above. How did he get the job? After being approached by the White House, he was called in to meet with the President. Tony says it’s kind of hard to say no to the President of the United States. When the job was being pitched, they explained a lot of what would be involved. At the end they added, “. . . . but if you’re not up to the challenge . . . .” Tony says that’s what got him.
Things can’t be too chipper around the White House these days with Bush’s approval rating in the low 30s. Tony says he would like it to be better, but everyone hates what’s going on in Washington these days. He points out that Congress has an 11% approval rating. (Headline: People favor the President over Congress, 3 to 1.) The President understands that “easy but wrong” isn’t good. He’s had to make some hard, difficult decision which he believes will become more apparent years from now.
Does the President know all the late night talk shows make fun of him? Says Dave, “Every dope like me is making jokes about the President, whether Democrat or Republican . . . and we’ve had some pretty good luck with Presidents lately . . .” Does the President see the jokes made at his expense? Tony says all the jokes are recorded and circulated every day and the President has a great sense of humor about it. Their sense of humor and true personalities don’t always come through, though. Tony mentions Bob Dole, Al Gore, and John Kerry who are very engaging and great guys, but you don’t get that sense when they are campaigning because they are so message-driven and disciplined. They come across as stiff and single-minded. Most of them are not like that at all.
Tony has been battling cancer for a few years now and now, thankfully, it is in remission and is currently undergoing chemo-therapy. Since he’s stepped down as Press Secretary, he’s been busy making speeches, considering book deals, and exploring work in radio and television.
ACT 7 RIHANNA: From her CD, “Good Girl Gone Bad,” Rihanna performed “Shut Up and Drive.”
And that was our show for Thursday October 4, 2007.
Johnny Damon, the very first batter last night in the Yankee/Indian playoff game, hit a line drive down the right field line for a home run, but the umpire down the line called it foul. Yankee Manager Joe Torre went out to argue. The umpires decided to group and discuss. After a short chat, the umpires decided it was a home run. Yippee. During the regular season, a game is played with four umpires. During the playoffs and World Series, they use six. The umpire who makes the home run call down the line is one of the extra umps and is making the call from a position he hasn’t been in all year. Maybe a week before the playoffs, the post-season umpire crews of six should work together for the final 5 games or so? Let them get used to their new position before the playoffs begin.
Is that anything?
10-4 DAY – Did you thank a ham radio operator?
Have you been watching the baseball playoffs on TBS? I have. And when I saw a commercial for Frank Caliendo’s new show, “Frank TV” on TBS, I was eager to watch an episode. But then I saw another commercial for “Frank TV,” and then another and another and then another another another and another. And then I saw another one. And then one more commercial for Frank Caliendo’s “Frank TV.” And then another. By this time I really didn’t want to see “Frank TV” anymore. Nice going, TBS!
La Jolla, California . . . a town on the move!
I had a beef about pencils a while back. The quality of today’s pencils is extremely poor. I find the pencil points break way too easily. Well, I was home this morning and it happened again when I least expected it . . . . which is rare since I now expect my pencil points to break. And I’m not the only one who is aware of the poor quality.
I received this some weeks ago from Wahoo reader Betsy Waggener:
“I know exactly what you mean about the pencils! I have three children, ages 12, 15, and 17, and I first noticed about 8 years ago, after purchasing school supplies and sharpening about 30 pencils, that they were crap, i.e. not the great, reliable pencils of my youth. I'm glad someone else has noticed, too. I always look for a national brand now. If I come across Ticonderogas, I'm thrilled.”
I find the pinker the wood in the pencil, the longer it lasts.
Watching the Boston Red Sox Wednesday night changed my mind . . . I don’t want them winning the World Series this year. I’m not much of a fan of Manny’s game; and Schilling is not one of my favorites . . . and Josh Beckett is too good. If you’re keeping score at home, flip-flop the Red Sox and the Indians for my hope to make the World Series from the American League. My choices:
Yankees
Indians
Red Sox
Angels
I like the Angels a lot, but their Q Rating isn’t all that high in my book. They play good solid baseball without pizzazz, just the way I like it. But this “Los Angeles Angels from Anaheim” gimmick doesn’t sit well with me. But then again, after another Red Sox game I may inch the Angels ahead of the Red Sox in my preference.
Oh, hold everything. I forgot Kenny Lofton is on the Indians. Put them back to 3rd on my list. I’m not a Lofton fan, which made Wednesday’s game even more painful.
WAHOO PHILOSOPHY CORNER Socrates. (470 BC–399 BC) was a Classical Greek philosopher who is widely credited for laying the foundation for Western philosophy. Plato (428– 348BC), whose original name was Aristocles, was an ancient Greek philosopher, the second of the great trio of ancient Greeks –succeeding Socrates and preceding Aristotle Aristotle (384 BC – 322 BC) was a Greek philosopher, a student of Plato
Tonight’s featured Philosopher: ARISTOTLE
- “Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime.”
- “The gods too are fond of a joke.”
- “We are what we repeatedly do.”
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
New York Mets fan, Eddie Valk.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Dave Talks Potty Training • New York Mets Playoff Preview • White House Ramadan Dinner • O.J.'s Watch • Guy In Audience Exits • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
