COLD OPEN: Dave and Jude in the dressing room. Jude is reading the newspaper.
JUDE: "Says here 'Superbad' was the number one movie in the country. You know anything about it?
DAVE: "It's about a couple of losers desperately trying to find women who'll sleep with them."
JUDE: "You and Paul should sue them for stealing your life story."
DAVE: (spit take) "Do you think?"

" . . . and now, the world's fattest twins . . . . David Letterman!

ACT 1
Show Note: Paul will work with Bullwinkle; he will not work with Rocky. I don't know. Something to do with the pre-show Q&A.

Dave's boy is a bit too young to enjoy it and therefore Dave is not yet in the loop, but Disney's "High School Musical" is huge, really really huge. And they just came out with another Disney TV movie, "High School Musical 2" which is huger than the first. Of course, when anything like this reaches this level of popularity, you know someone will jump on board and try to make it their own. It didn't long. This is what Dave came across while channel surfing earlier today. We see a clip.
We see Osama and his buddy, Ayman Al-Zawahiri. They break out into song and we see various Iraqi/Afghani footage.
Singing to a tune from "High School Musical 2": the new film "Al Qaeda Musical Jihad 2." - "What time is it? Summertime! It's our vacation! What time is it? Jihad time! That's right, say it loud. What' time is it? Death to America! Anticipation! What time is it? Summertime! Get you goat, scream and shout." No matter the language, no matter the lyrics, it's a catchy tune.

Idaho Senator Larry Craig was recently arrested for lewd behavior in a public restroom, but you have to respect him for admitting his mistake. He has released this announcement to accept accountability. Announcement from Senator Larry Craig:

"Recently, Senator Larry Craig was arrested for allegedly soliciting gay sex in an airport men's room. Obviously, what he did was wrong, and Senator Craig wants America to know that he is willing to accept punishment . . . stern, forceful punishment, preferably at the firm hand of a police officer or other man in uniform, a strict disciplinarian who can be tough yet also tender, and who knows exactly what a dirty, naughty senator really needs.
Larry Craig: Compassionate Conservative.

GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
We see Clinton.
We see Reagan.
We see Bush: "I'm working with President Musharraf to uhhh to uhhhh uhhh . . ."

ACT 2
Dave tosses a pencil through the window and we hear the common sound effect of the window breaking. And then we hear another crash, and then another, and another, another, another, another, and another. Finally Dave calls out to our sound effects guy, Gary. "Hey, Gary, the sound effect is stuck!"
Gary: "Sorry, Dave. I put my coffee on the button."
Gary the Sound Effects guy should have followed that up with a laugh track.

PSYCHIC SOUP - with Deborah Lynn.
She hasn't been here since February 21, 2006 when we played Psychic Name That National Anthem. She made her first appearance on May 9, 2001 when we played Guess The Celebrity Phone Number. And tonight we're playing "Psychic Soup." How we play? Deborah Lynn will be blindfolded and Rupert will present a bowl of his Soup of the Day. Deborah Lynn will go into a trance and determine, using her intuitive powers, what is the soup.
Dave mentions that Deborah is an intuitive, not a psychic, and is curious as to what an intuitive does. This is always my favorite part, hearing her description. It usually goes something like: An intuitive opens themselves up to the outside world and beyond and allows the energy to freely flow in. As she explains, she stops two or three times as if being interrupted by the voices from another dimension.
Dave then explains how Deborah attained this special power of intuitiveness. When she was just a young girl she absent-mindedly made her way across a golf driving range. Well, she got whacked in the head with a golf ball hit by a 7-iron. And ever since, she's had this intuitive power.
Some popular soups:
- Chicken Noodle
-Split Pea
-Tomato
-Alphabet
-Mulligatawny
-French Onion
-Black Bean
-Minestrone
-Lentil
-Vegetable
-Lobster Bisque

Rupert puts the blindfold on Deborah Lynn. Meanwhile, Alan tells us the Psychic Soup.
Alan: "Hi, I'm TV's Zorro. Tonight's Psychic Soup is ManhattanClam Chowder."
And what is Deborah playing for? "It's a Cuisinart Waffle Maker!"
The blindfolded Deborah Lynn is handed a clear bowl of soup; the Manhattan Clam Chowder. But we had given it to her too soon as she had not had the chance to get into her trance. The chowder is taken away and Deborah starts trancing. When she is good and ready and deep into her trance, the bowl of soup is placed back into her hands. With Deborah deep in trance, Dave says, "Rupert, I would like for you to go in to a trance as well." Rupert tries to get into a trance, but cannot. He's never been hit in the head with a golf ball.
OK, Deborah is ready. She says she "sees" a picture of noodles in a soup. Her guess: Chicken Noodle Soup.
Nope.
Dave says for Deborah to taste the soup. She doesn't have a spoon and so Rupert finds one and tries to feed her. Meanwhile, Deborah brings the bowl of soup up to her lips to sip. We then see Rupert try to feed her while she is slurping. Still blindfolded, Deborah grimaces as her tongue touches the chowder. What is the Psychic Soup? At this point, Paul objects. "It's no longer a Psychic Soup experiment! It's a taste test! It's just a matter of if it's Manhattan or New England!" Dave tells Paul to be quite and to stop trying to spoil our fun.
Deborah tries again and offers, "It's a tomato-based soup."
It was getting late so Dave judged this to be close enough and congratulates Deborah and rewards her with a Cuisinart Waffle Maker and a Hello Deli deli platter.
And that's how we play "Psychic Soup."

ACT 3
DALTON CARRIKER: the Little League World Series hero from Warner Robins, Georgia, who hit an extra-inning game-winning walk-off home run to bring the Little League crown to Warner Robins.
Dave gets the basics out of the way:
Dalton has played baseball since he's been 4 and has been involved with Little League for 5 years now. Dalton is a shortstop and a pitcher. He has two sisters, one who played in the softball World Series. Her advice: Have fun.
Did Dalton get a chance to meet any of the other players from other countries? He says the team met the players from Japan, Saudi Arabia, the Netherlands . . .
And what are his immediate plans? Dalton and the team will be honored back home with a big parade this Saturday at 10:00 AM.
Married? No.
How is his coach? The coach of the Warner Robins team is a good guy who lets the team goof off and play around. Such as? Well, one night Dalton made it over to the parents hotel and was given the "go ahead" to put shaving cream on the face of his regular season's coach while he was sleeping. The coach groggily wiped the shaving cream all over his face. Dave looks directly into the camera and addresses Bud Selig and big league baseball: "This is the kind of scandal Major League Baseball should have!"
Okay, the big moment. What happened? Before Dalton went to bat, his coach said for him to get on base any way he could. Think line drive. Another coach on the other side of the fence says to Dalton, "Knock one over the bush in right field."
Dave: "So you had conflicting messages." And when did Dalton know the ball was going to be a home run? Dalton says as soon as he hit it.
Future plans for Dalton? Either become a baseball player or a pharmacist. Uhh, Dalton, please don't use "baseball" and "pharmacist" in the same sentence. I think Major League Baseball wants nothing to do with "pharmacists" right now.

I imagine the best thing about hitting a World Series-winning extra inning home run is, of course, the immediate excitement of the accomplishment, but it's that moment of joyous "isolation" of only you running the bases all by yourself and knowing there is a big party waiting for you, the hero, at home plate. You want to celebrate with your friends, but you have to wait.

ACT 4
KEVIN BACON: Did Kevin play Little League? Was he one to play a lot of sports? Kevin says he wasn't much the athlete, but did play some "half-ball" --- you break a ball in half and hit it with a broomstick. It's one of those home-made games kids used to play. Back then you used whatever you had. It reminds me of a game my neighborhood used to play, called "Barnacle." Someday I'll tell that story. How did he spend his summers? Back when he was 16, he and a buddy loaded up their backpacks and went on a cross country bus/hiking trip. 16? And his parents allowed that? Kevin says he was the youngest of 6 kids and doubts they even knew he was gone.
How was the trip? The night before they actually left, they splurged and stayed at a hotel. They practiced walking around the room with their backpacks on to see how it would be on the hike. It all seemed fine. And then they went swimming in the hotel pool. The next morning they set off on their hike. Seven miles in they realized the overpacked tremendously. They were loaded down with cans and cans of food . . . . but not an ounce of water. The backpacks were at least 70 pounds and hiking was very difficult. They soon realized they were approaching a death by thirst. With no water, they were reduced to sucking on their wet swimming trunks from the night before. They finally got a ride to a better location and camped the night. They then dined on all they had just so they could lighten their load. The rest of the trip wasn't all that much better.
Ahh, yes, I remember those days . . . before cell phones . . . . before ATM machines. When you went out, you went out all by yourself. There was no safety net. Kevin's new film, "Death Sentence" opens this Friday. It's got lots of action.

ACT 5
"It's time for a 'Late Show Viewer Reminder.'
The deadline to file your 2006 U.S. income taxes was April 17, 2007.
This has been a 'Late Show Viewer Reminder.
So get up and get goin'!
We'll be right back with more crazy circus animals."

ACT 6
T.I., WITH WYCLEF JEAN: From T.I.s new CD, "T.I. versus T.I.P.", T.I. and Wyclef Jean performed the high-energy "You Know What It Is."

And that was ours how for Tuesday, August 28, 2007.



In case you're wondering:
Let me be clear; I am not gay. I never have been gay.

T.I.'s CD - "T.I. vs. T.I.P."
What's all it mean?
When T.I. was just a kid, his grandfather gave him the nickname, "Tip." When "Tip" got into the music business and spoke his name, many in the audience heard it as "Chip." T.I. decided to start spelling out his nickname and going by "T.I.P." When "T.I.P." was signed to a record deal, he shortened his name to "T.I." out of respect for Q-Tip.
And when a guy has the name Q-Tip, he deserves respect.

Today's traffic jam on the George Washington Bridge was brought to you by a fender-bender. The drivers felt the need to stop in the middle lane to exchange information, putting their lives at risk. Gee whiz, people, it's a fender bender. Get off the bridge to another location. . . . not for your own safety, but so I can get across faster.

My local gin mill looks to be ready to open real soon. "The Depot" closed on April 1st and there is no other place in walking distance where I can escape for 45 minutes. But now "Woody's" is about to open in its place. I just hope they haven't fixed it up too much. I don't want to go to a bar where the guys wear slacks.

Leona Helmsley left her dog $12 million. It's nice to think that Muffin will make more than Michael Vick this year.
If you told me last week that Leona's will left ME the same amount she left her grandchildren, I'd have been ecstatic.

Senator Larry Craig, they're not booing you; they're yelling "Lewwwwwwwwwwwwd!"

Mike Mussina: they're not yelling "Moooooooose." They're booing you.

You know if the Yankees keep losing, the Stadium just might be empty enough for me to take in a game in September.

United States Senator Larry Craig of Idaho claims he is not gay. And what is his state's capital? Boise. Coincidence?

My $250 million Mega Million numbers: 9 - 23 - 41 - 50 - 55; Mega ball 36.
Tuesday's Mega Million winning numbers: 37 - 40 - 48 - 53 - 56; Mega ball 44.
DAMN! I missed by only 6 numbers! Looks like another week of work.

*And now, even more useless information from "The Ultimate Book of Useless Information" by Neil Botham & The Useless Information Society.
- a recent survey revealed that 25% of Swedish women had had sex with more than fifty men
- the average bra size is now 34C. Ten years ago it was 34B
- the average person laughs 13 times a day
- the average person in American spends eight years of his life watching television
-right-handed people live, on average, nine years long than left-handed people

And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world's longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . oops, no it isn't.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From the Logan Inn in New Hope, Pennsylvania, it's jazz pianist extraordinaire Brent Bailey! And this Friday at Logan Inn's Magnolia Terrace is a Pabst Blue Ribbon Special you won't want to miss!
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER