ACT 1
Such a lovely display. Dave shows off his mug filled with Late Show pencils. It was created by Miss Martha Stewart while she was in stir. Check the Late Show website for details to buy one similar for your own network TV show desk.

Happy news at the Late Show! Our production accountant Joe DeGeorge and his wife, the former Late Show Production Associate Tara Callahan, are the proud parents of a bouncing baby boy, Benjamin Gabriel DeGeorge. The wee Ben came into our world yesterday, Monday July 16th, weighing in at 6 pounds, 15 ounces. Benjamin joins big brother Joseph, along with mom and dad, to make for a lovely family of four.
Congratulations, Joe and Tara. And Dave then makes this promise: He will see to it that both Benjamin and Joseph receive a Late Show pencil.

Dave is known throughout the industry as a humanitarian. He is a giver. But sometimes when you give, your kindness can come back and bite you in the ass. For instance, it was such a nice day today that Dave decided to be a dear and threw a barbecue for the staff on 53rd Street. It was totally unexpected and greatly appreciated by the few who had time to go out and enjoy it. But then, things took a bad turn. We see a clip. We see the staffers enjoying their barbecue. But then horror knocks as they scatter in all directions. We soon see why. An out of control yellow taxi cab flies in and smashes through the picnic table and chairs and grill. It's not what Dave had in mind.

We then hear Alan Kalter bellow from his perch, interrupting Dave.
ALAN: "Excuse me, Dave! Dave?!"
DAVE: "Yes, Alan, what is it?"
ALAN: "I hate to interrupt, but I heard something very amusing today. It seems that billionaire Donald Trump is coming out with his own line of office chairs. And if you think that's odd, wait until you see what the Donald Trumps office chair looks like. You're gonna love this!"
Alan lifts a sheet to reveal the Donald Trump office chair. It looks no different from any other ordinary office chair.
ALAN: (confused, and irate - he speaks to someone off-camera) "What is that? That's not the Donald Trump office chair. I specifically requested that the chair be covered in a thick layer of brownish-reddish hair. I spent hours on this joke, and you numbnuts stagehands can't pull your heads out of your asses and read the script? I can't deal with this horseshit anymore!" An angry Alan shoves the chair away and exits steaming. Dave sizes up the situation and surmises, "It's either the heat or the dye."

"We'll be right back right after this message from Apple."
- it's Gerard Mulligan and Chris Elliott in their award winning commercial for the Apple
Computer. One is the MAC. The other is the PC. In this installment, we see Mr. Elliott slurring his words and acting oddly. He is ossified. Chris falls to the ground and starts eating off the floor, a al the Hoff.
Makes a guy want to run right out and pick up an Apple.

GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: We see FDR. We see JFK. We see George W. Bush: "Are you having burritos for lunch?"

ACT 2
WHAT'S ON THE IPOD? - we head over to visit out old friend Rupert Jee at the Hello Deli. On the way in, we pass by the teeming hoards of misfits from all over the country. Tonight we are going to play, "What's On The iPod?" After a small chat, Dave sends Rupert outside to find a contestant. Rupert can pick anyone, except no losers, no felons. Rupert returns with a young lovely from Suffolk, Virginia named Jessica. She is a student with a double major: Communications and Women Studies. And what will she do with those majors once she's out? "I have no idea." Yup, sounds like every college kid I ever knew.

How we play: Rupert will sing along to a song on his iPod. Jessica will have 30 seconds to determine the song Rupert is singing.
Hint: The song is currently on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.
Alan tells us the song Rupert will be singing.
ALAN: "Hi, I'm Alan Kalter, TV's Uptown Ricky Brown. Dave, it's "Summer Love" by Justin Timberlake."
DAVE: "And what are we playing for tonight?"
ALAN: "Dave, it's a waterpik!"
We are ready to play. Rupert plugs himself in to the iPod, listens, and begins to sing. Jessica has no idea what Rupert is singing. I can't make out what Rupert is singing, either, and there is no one on earth who knows current pop music more than I. The 30 seconds expires and Jessica can't venture a guess.
The song is announced and Jessica is a loser . . . or is she? Those who know the Late Show know there are no losers on "What's On The iPod?" Cue the girls! The Late Show models present Jessica with a Hello Deli deli platter.
And that's how we play "What's on the iPod?"

It's now time for another installment of "My Idea That Was Not Used On The Show." Before the show, I suggested that tonight on "What's On the iPod" Alan should announce we are playing for an "office chair."

TOP TEN: Titles of My Recent Blog Entries - Dave has been blogging for quite a long time now and he does so because he wants to communicate his feeling he is not allowed to share on TV. It's a great creative release.
#8. Fun Places To Take Off Your Pants
#1. How is Scott Baio Still Single?

ACT 3-4
ADAM SANDLER: The guy is box office gold! His films have earned over $2 billion. Dave thanks the hugely successful movie star for filling in as host of the Late Show a few months back when Dave came down with the stomach flu. If Adam looks a little different tonight, it's because he has a beard. Since he's grown the beard, everyone stops him to say hello thinking he is someone else. Adam says he gets a lot of "Hey, ZZ Top! What's up?" And "Hey, it's Wilt Chamberlain." And sometimes he'll get, "Wow, it's Rosie O'Donnell!"
Adam recently went back to the home he grew up. He knocked on the door and asked if he could take a walk through. It was very odd when he got to his room because living in that very room was another boy named Adam. He felt an attachment to the young boy. Adam offered some advice, wondering if the boy was suffering the same feelings of inadequacy Adam felt growing up. Adam told the boy, "If you're not athletic, that's OK. If you're not doing well in school, don't worry about it. If you don't have many friends or you're the only kid in school without a girl friend, don't worry about it. Things will get better." The kids said he had none of those problems, that he is a very good athlete, is very popular in school, and does pretty good with the girls. Adam snapped back at the brat, "Yeah, well do you make $25 million a movie?"
Adam's new film, 'I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" opens Friday, with co-star Kevin James. As Adam is about to introduce the clip, Dave expresses his hope that Jessica Biel is in the scene. Adam tells Dave she is not in the shot, but offers a bit of his own Jessica Biel. Adam gets up and shakes his booty at Dave (I think that's what the kids say.)

I first became aware of Adam Sandler on the MTV game show, "Remote Control." How long ago was that? It was so long ago that MTV still played music videos. "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" reminds me of the scene of Barnabas and Stan Laurel in "March of the Wooden Soldiers."

ACT 5: It's the gang in the Hello Deli enjoying themselves.

ACT 6
MIKE GOLIC AND MIKE GREENBERG: from ESPN radio's "Mike and Mike in the Morning" show. I listen to them on my way in to work.
THE YANKEES:
Golic - They are done.
Greenberg - They will be in the playoffs.
Me - Yankees will make the playoffs.
BUD SELIG:
Golic - he should be there for Barry Bonds' 756th home run.
Greenberg - likes him. Bud has done more good for the game than bad.
Me - I agree with Golic. And I'll never forgive Selig for ending the all-star game in a tie the way he did.
Other topics of discussion: Barry Bonds, Hank Aaron, Alex Rodriguez, the Tour de France, and football.
Me - when you get right down to it, when the players were using steroids they were only doing what they learned from watching Wheaties commercials. They were putting stuff into their bodies to make them bigger and stronger than their competition. They were looking for an advantage. Wheaties claimed to do it, but the players knew better. Steroids worked better.

ACT 7
MUTE MATH: From their new self-titled debut album, Mute Math performed the loud and enthusiastic "Typical."

And that was our show for Tuesday, July 17, 2007.



I have a feeling there'll be double collections in L.A. this weekend.

The mind is a very strange thing. I'm driving to work this morning and this is what crossed my brain: "Sonny Sixkiller probably had the worst last name ever for a quarterback."
This probably means nothing to you. So who is Sonny Sixkiller? Sonny Sixkiller played quarterback for the University of Washington back in the early early 70s. I may have seen him play once on TV. I always remembered the name. I guess the name has been dangling on a lone brain cell for all that time, but not until this morning did the last name "six-killer" strike me as an odd and unfortunate name for a quarterback. A touchdown is worth 6 points. A touchdown is every quarterback's goal. A quarterback with the name "Sixkiller" is left wide open for jokes and abuse. It's a good thing Sonny Sixkiller was good because a last name like that could have caused lots of problems for the guy.

And speaking of quarterbacks, I think we're about to see how good a scrambler Michael Vick really is.
I just checked the schedule for the Atlanta Falcons. Vick is in luck. The Falcons don't play Cleveland this year, so Vick won't have to face the dog pound.

A-Rod for $30 million a year? I'd rather have 3 pitchers making a total of $36 million a year. But wait, $36 million is more than $30 million. Yes, but that's $36 million for 3 players on the roster. A-Rod and 2 other players on the roster would also likely come to about $36 million. Alex Rodriguez is the best player in baseball but I think I'd rather have 3 pitchers making $16 million, $12 million, and $8 million.
And if the Yankees sign A-Rod for $30, I can't imagine the number of in-game commercials that'll find their way into the televised and radio broadcasts. Yikes.

Oh, and I watched some Met games for the first time in a while. Their sound effects blaring over the stadium is worst than the Yankees. How annoying! Would somebody put a stop to all this non-baseball nonsense at the stadium! Trust your product! It's good enough without the noise!

The military is working on a pilot-less fighter plane. Rumor has it the name of the plane without a pilot: The George W. Bush.

I think I'm getting chipmunk problem around the house. I saw one running out of my garage the other day. I tried the humane traps . . . no good. I tried the real trap . . . no good. I think I'll try the high-pitched rodent deterrent. In the mean time, I'm trying something I read off the internet. Very simple. It involves a bucket and sunflower seeds and some other stuff. Though cute, chipmunks can cause quite a problem to a home. I'll let you know how it turns out.

*And now, even more useless information from "The Ultimate Book of Useless Information" by Neil Botham & The Useless Information Society.
- the skin that peels off after sunburn is called blype.
- there are 62,000 miles of arteries, veins, and blood capillaries in the human body
- a human hair is 10,000 times thicker than the film of a soap bubble
- intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair
- there are 450 hairs in an average eyebrow

And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world's longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From North Carolina, 1976 Ramapo Senior High grad, Scott Shor
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER