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			Monday, July 16, 2007 Show #2783
			By Michael Z. McIntee	Change Text Color: Black \| White


	Michelle Pfeiffer; Jonah Hill; and Master of the Unusual Michel Lauziere. PLUS: Ask Scooter Libby; a Top Ten List; Great Moments; and Something Odd at the Maury Povich Show ACT 1 You’re here on a special night. Tonight on 53rd Street we have the Master of the Unusual, Michel Lauziere. His performance tonight will include in-line skating, wooden dowels, springs, 16 baking pans, 16 golfballs, 16 mousetraps, 300 beer, wine, liquor, and Perrier bottles, and music from the opera Carmen --- “The Toreador Song” ASK SCOOTER LIBBY PRESIDENT BUSH COMMUTED THE SENTENCE OF SCOOTER LIBBY RECENTLY, SAVING HIM FROM HAVING TO SERVE JAIL TIME. IT’S QUITE CONTROVERSIAL AND HE IS HERE TONIGHT TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SCOOTER LIBBY Mulligan enters wearing typical pocket t-shirt and jeans. Band plays “You Be Illin’” by Run DMC WE HAVE SOME QUESTIONS FROM THE AUDIENCE. 1. BERT LAZARUS, MIAMI, FLORIDA: “DID VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY LEAK THE IDENTITY OF CIA AGENT VALERIE PLAME?” Scooter: “No, but I did once see him take a leak in the White House Rose Garden Mulligan: “Hi-yooooo! No one is safe tonight!” 2. TINA RUSSELL, DENVER, COLORADO: “HAVE YOU BEGUN YOUR 400 HOURS OF COURT-ORDERED COMMUNITY SERVICE?” Scooter: “What, you think I’m on this piece-of-crap show by choice?” rim shot Mulligan: “Here kitty kitty kitty kitty. 3. EDWARD DILLINGHAM, PORTLAND, OREGON: “WHAT WERE YOUR DUTIES AS DICK CHENEY’S CHIEF OF STAFF?” Scooter: “I can describe them in three letters: C – P – R.” rim shot Mulligan: (mimes bowling – SFX of bowling ball rolling, then hitting pins) Mulligan: “Yes!” 4. KEVIN GANNON, ALBANY, NEW YORK: “DO YOU HAVE ANY REGRETS?” Scooter: “Yeah, I shouldn’t have gone with the nickname ‘Scooter.’ rim shot Mulligan: (does the Crane pose from ‘The Karate Kid’) “The Crane Kick …. There’s no 5. HENRY SMITH, TRUMBULL, CONNECTICUT: “ARE YOU THE FALL GUY?” Scooter: “Yes, but the country needs President Bush and Vice President Cheney to be in charge because (Gerry laughs) . . . . I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get that out without laughing.” rim shot Mulligan: (starts tap dancing) “Keep dancing, Scooter! You’ve got to keep dancing.” 6. DOUG MATHISON, ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND: “IN ADDITION TO YOUR POLITICAL CAREER, YOU’VE ALSO WRITTEN A NOVEL. ARE YOU WORKING ON A BOOK NOW?” Scooter: “Yes, it’s called ‘1,001 Signs You Might Be A Disgraced Former White House Official Convicted of Perjury, Making False Statements, and Obstruction of Justice.” rim shot Mulligan: (southern accent) “If you go to family reunions to meet women, you might be a disgraced former White House official convicted of perjury, making false statements, and obstruction of justice.” 7. TOM BEZZO, WOODSTOCK, VERMONT: “CAN YOU EXPLAIN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COMMUTING A SENTENCE AND AN OUTRIGHT PARDON?” Scooter: “Who do I look like…. Judge ‘Givl’ing Judy?” rim shot Mulligan: “You’re out of order! This whole damn court’s out of order!” Mulligan mimes shooting a gun in the air; SFX – gun shots) 8. KATHY SPELLMAN, WESTON, MASSACHUSETTS: “HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO THOSE WHO SAY YOU ARE A DEVIOUS EGOMANIAC WHO BELONGS BEHIND BARS?” Scooter: (does not respond) DAVE: “SCOOTER?” Scooter: “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought that question was for you.” rim shot Mulligan: “Beer me!” (guy runs in and hands Gerry a mug of beer. Gerry chugs it.) 9. TOM LENNON, HUNTINGTON, WEST VIRGINIA: “WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED FROM THIS ENTIRE EXPERIENCE?” Scooter: “I learned a valuable lesson that I want all the kids to hear: You can avoid consequences if you’re friends with rich powerful assholes.” rim shot Mulligan: “USA! USA! USA! USA!” (mimes complex drum solo as Anton does the drumming) 10. ART MITCHELL, MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA: “BOTH YOU AND PARIS HILTON MADE HEADLINES LAST MONTH FOR YOUR PRISON SENTENCES. HAVE YOU EVER MET HER?” Scooter: “No, but we do have a lot in common. For example, we’ve both devoted our lives to servicing Dick.” rim shot Mulligan (begins to exit) “‘Scott Baio is 45 and Single’ on VH-1! If you can find a better reality show about Scott Baio, watch it!” Paul plays “You Be Illin’.” Mulligan exits. ACT 2 Dave isn’t one to gossip; not one to spread rumors, but he heard a story this morning that shocked him. Dave phones the intern Samantha upstairs to have her tell her story. Samantha corrects Dave on two points: She is not an intern, but a staffer for the past 7 years; and her name is Amanda, not Samantha. Amanda went to the Maury Povich show recently. It took her ten years to get tickets. It’s a very popular program. Amanda went to the taping and during the commercial break, Maury came up to Amanda and barked, “Hey, Peggy, you got $20?” Amanda replied, “I do have $20 but my name is not Peggy.” Maury was livid and barked again, “I don’t care if your name is Helen Reddy, I want you to go out and buy me a pack of cigarettes!” Amanda snapped back at him, “Why don’t you get your own cigarettes?!” Things got ugly. And then some Air Force dudes but in and tasered Maury. They asked if Amanda wouldn’t mind keeping this whole incident quiet. Unbelievable, isn’t it? And what was the show’s topic for the morning? “Martians” says Amanda. Wow! I know there was a request by the show to keep this quiet, but too many people must have seen this and will likely be a front page story in next week’s Star. TOP TEN: Things I’d Rather Be Doing Right Now 9. Calling Regis Philbin and hanging up. 6. Just coolin’ it with shorties, drinking forties. GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: We see FDR. We see JFK. We see our President responding to the question during a public Q&A: “Could you comment, Mr. President, on how well prepared we are for, God forbid, the next Katrina or pandemic outbreak or other such calamity?” The President stands and walks the stage, playing with the microphone cord. Bush: “. . . . . uhhh . . . . . . ummm . . . . . the ummmm . . . . . . . . . . .” I feel a whole lot safer now, don’t you? ACT 3 MICHEL LAUZIERE: The Master of the Unusual – getting your Masters in the Unusual is a two-year course. What’s he gonna do on 53rd Street? Michel is on in-line skates. Attached to the skates are wooden dowels. Lining the street is two lines of 150 bottles each filled with liquid of various amounts. As Michel skates between the 2 lines of bottles, the wooden dowels will tap each bottle. The sound from the bottles will create the Toreador song from the opera “Carmen.” Michel was here to do something from Mozart in a similar performance back in May of 2006. Dave gives Michel the go ahead and he begins after a split second of concentration. The oddly entertaining performance gives me great satisfaction. I liked this a lot. Bravo, Michel, bravo! ACT 4,6 MICHELLE PFEIFFER – the three-time Academy Award nominated actress. The films: “Dangerous Liasons,” “The Fabulous Baker Boys,” and “Love Field.” Her new film, “Hairspray,” the probably hit of the summer, opens on Friday. And she has completed two other films which will soon follow. Before we see a clip from “Hairspray,” we enjoy one of her first acting jobs, on “Fantasy Island” – 1978. Even then, you knew stardom was in her future. ACT 5: “It’s time for an exclusive ‘Tony Mendez Show Preview!’ Join Tony this Tuesday as he apologizes to LATE SHOW guest Michael Cera. Just log on to www.cbs.com/lateshow. You won’t want to miss it! We’ll be right back.” ACT 7: JONAH HILL: From the film, Superbad, opening August 17th. He’s currently in Knocked Up and Evan Almighty. His friend owns a waxing salon in L.A. where he sometimes goes to hang out. He’s noticed that a lot of guys go there for a waxing, which he finds kind of odd. (Odder than hanging out at a waxing salon?) Jonah has coined a phrase he wants to copyright for a waxing a guy would get: a “Bro-zilian.” It hurts just thinking about it. Jonah tells a story of his buddy Schmitt who had a dream about Paul Shaffer. Schmitt says in his dream, Jonah and Paul were having dinner. An argument ensued over who had the cooler clothes. And then Schmitt says Paul and Jonah starting having sex in the restaurant. Crazy dream. And then the next day . . . in real life, not the dream . . . Schmitt woke up, got dressed and went outside his apartment. Who did he see? Paul Shaffer. Paul was fully dressed and not having sex with anyone. Jonah Hill – see him in “Superbad” opening August 17th. And that was our show for Monday July 16, 2007. I had a very nice day with my daughter Danielle on Saturday. She had a basketball game in the city at 10:00 AM and she hit her first 3 shots from the outside, and soon followed that up with a couple 3-pointers. Afterwards, we made a quick visit to St. Patrick’s Cathedral and the American Girl Doll store. Whenever I’m in the area, I make it a point to step inside the great Cathedral. And whenever Danielle is in the area, she makes it a point to step inside the American Girl Doll store, although I think the doll store is starting to lose its appeal to the pre-teen. And then Danielle took her first subway ride. We headed downtown and got off at West 4th Street. We went to street level and took a walk to Washington Square Park. We sat by the fountain and she soon asked if she could frolic. There were already one or two others in the fountain so I told her to go ahead and wade. She walked, splashed, and then did a quick run-around the fountain spray. We continued on our walk, but first we hugged a guy who held a sign “Free Hugs”. She asked “Why do you want hugs?” and he said, “Why not?” We enjoyed the music in the park, the many dogs being walked, and the characters that make Washington Square such a visual treat. On our way back to the subway, we came across “The Cage,” one of the best-known basketball courts in the city. The court is rather small and fenced in, hence the name “The Cage.” A game was about to start featuring women of college age. Danielle started chatting with a guy next to us who explained the position of point guard to her, since she was still in her basketball uniform. And then 5 minutes into the game, one of the players suffered a separated shoulder. It looked painful. And from her wails, it sounded painful. At least 10 people shouted the advice, “Pop it back in. You got to pop it back in.” Somebody approached and was about to attempt to “pop it back in” but the player’s increasingly louder shrieks made him back off. The ref smartly advised to anyone thinking of “popping it back in” that if you don’t know what you’re doing, get out of the way. I applauded the sage advice. When it looked as if Danielle was deciding for herself never to drive to the basket again, I decided we saw enough and headed back to the car. “You won’t want to miss it!” We heard it tonight in the ACT 5 concerning Tuesday’s Tony Mendez Show. “’The Tony Mendez Preview.’ You won’t want to miss it.” “You won’t want to miss it” is a common “come on” to keep viewers watching so they won’t go away. We hear it all the time on the radio and the TV news just before they go to commercial. They entice you so you won’t go away. But is “You won’t want to miss it” really much of a ringing endorsement? The opposite of “you won’t want to miss it” is “you will want to miss it.” Wanting to miss something means you really don’t want to see it; you want to avoid it at all costs --- I WANT to miss it. When you say “You won’t want to miss it”, all you’re saying is the thing isn’t so terrible that you would WANT to miss it. If you miss it, it’s OK. If you don’t miss it, that’s OK, too. It’s nothing special. “You won’t want to miss it” tells us it’s no so bad. Not much of a ringing endorsement at all. Am I right, or am I only taking up space here? Someone gave me a heads up on an article in the Wall Street Journal about the “Blog” about to celebrate its 10th anniversary. The reader wrote the opening, “Let me be probably the 100th person to send you this.” I laughed. Wahoo readers who also read the Wall Street Journal? Oh, that’s a good one. Check out the article. http://online.wsj.com/article/SB118436667045766268.html The article gives the birth date of the blog as December 23, 1997 when Jorn Barger wrote on this website Robot Wisdom, “I decided to start own webpage logging the best stuff I find as I surf, on a daily basis.” The article later claims, “By widespread consensus, 1997 is a reasonable point at which to mark the emergence of the blog as a distinct life form.” Wahoo note: the first Wahoo Gazette appeared in November of 1996. By the time December 23, 1997 rolled around, the Wahoo Gazette already had a mustache and a driver’s license. Remember the old saying: Close doesn’t count except in horseshoes and hand grenades. Here’s another one; Close doesn’t count except in horseshoes, hand grenades, and CW11 Morning News. They almost get things right. The other morning there was a multiple choice trivia question about something that took place in a certain country. Which country? You choose A) Japan B) Canada C) France D) Austria. (may not be the exact 4 choices) One of the women at the news desk says quickly and under the commotion, “Well, it can’t be B because Canada isn’t a country.” I wasn’t listening that closely, in fact, I was doing this at the time, but I stopped immediately and said “What!?” The news anchorwoman looked at the woman and did the same; “What!?” A lot was going on during the segment so this was missed by most. The comment was ignored. Yeah, I know I should have ordered up the clip but I was about to start my vacation and thoughts turned to relaxation instead. HA! I’m watching the CW11 right now, RIGHT NOW! They’re talking about the top places to live in America, as listed in a magazine. The town of Nanuet is in the top 25. They list Nanuet as being in Long Island. Nope. Nanuet is in Rockland County, 35 miles north of the city. Almost, CW11, almost. But I guess the Wahoo Gazette should be the last to comment on someone being almost right. And now, even more useless information from “The Ultimate Book of Useless Information”* by Neil Botham & The Useless Information Society. - the longest known record for constipation is 102 days - your thumb is the same length as your nose - 60% of babies are born before breakfast - you blink more than ten million times a year - the white area at the base of your fingernail is called the lunula And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think. CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER From New York, New York, famed makeup artist and salon owner, 1976 Ramapo High School graduate Laura Geller. This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER Michelle Pfeiffer; Jonah Hill; and Master of the Unusual Michel Lauziere. PLUS: Ask Scooter Libby; a Top Ten List; Great Moments; and Something Odd at the Maury Povich Show ACT 1 You’re here on a special night. Tonight on 53rd Street we have the Master of the Unusual, Michel Lauziere. His performance tonight will include in-line skating, wooden dowels, springs, 16 baking pans, 16 golfballs, 16 mousetraps, 300 beer, wine, liquor, and Perrier bottles, and music from the opera Carmen --- “The Toreador Song” ASK SCOOTER LIBBY PRESIDENT BUSH COMMUTED THE SENTENCE OF SCOOTER LIBBY RECENTLY, SAVING HIM FROM HAVING TO SERVE JAIL TIME. IT’S QUITE CONTROVERSIAL AND HE IS HERE TONIGHT TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SCOOTER LIBBY Mulligan enters wearing typical pocket t-shirt and jeans. Band plays “You Be Illin’” by Run DMC WE HAVE SOME QUESTIONS FROM THE AUDIENCE. 1. BERT LAZARUS, MIAMI, FLORIDA: “DID VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY LEAK THE IDENTITY OF CIA AGENT VALERIE PLAME?” Scooter: “No, but I did once see him take a leak in the White House Rose Garden Mulligan: “Hi-yooooo! No one is safe tonight!” 2. TINA RUSSELL, DENVER, COLORADO: “HAVE YOU BEGUN YOUR 400 HOURS OF COURT-ORDERED COMMUNITY SERVICE?” Scooter: “What, you think I’m on this piece-of-crap show by choice?” rim shot Mulligan: “Here kitty kitty kitty kitty. 3. EDWARD DILLINGHAM, PORTLAND, OREGON: “WHAT WERE YOUR DUTIES AS DICK CHENEY’S CHIEF OF STAFF?” Scooter: “I can describe them in three letters: C – P – R.” rim shot Mulligan: (mimes bowling – SFX of bowling ball rolling, then hitting pins) Mulligan: “Yes!” 4. KEVIN GANNON, ALBANY, NEW YORK: “DO YOU HAVE ANY REGRETS?” Scooter: “Yeah, I shouldn’t have gone with the nickname ‘Scooter.’ rim shot Mulligan: (does the Crane pose from ‘The Karate Kid’) “The Crane Kick …. There’s no 5. HENRY SMITH, TRUMBULL, CONNECTICUT: “ARE YOU THE FALL GUY?” Scooter: “Yes, but the country needs President Bush and Vice President Cheney to be in charge because (Gerry laughs) . . . . I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get that out without laughing.” rim shot Mulligan: (starts tap dancing) “Keep dancing, Scooter! You’ve got to keep dancing.” 6. DOUG MATHISON, ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND: “IN ADDITION TO YOUR POLITICAL CAREER, YOU’VE ALSO WRITTEN A NOVEL. ARE YOU WORKING ON A BOOK NOW?” Scooter: “Yes, it’s called ‘1,001 Signs You Might Be A Disgraced Former White House Official Convicted of Perjury, Making False Statements, and Obstruction of Justice.” rim shot Mulligan: (southern accent) “If you go to family reunions to meet women, you might be a disgraced former White House official convicted of perjury, making false statements, and obstruction of justice.” 7. TOM BEZZO, WOODSTOCK, VERMONT: “CAN YOU EXPLAIN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COMMUTING A SENTENCE AND AN OUTRIGHT PARDON?” Scooter: “Who do I look like…. Judge ‘Givl’ing Judy?” rim shot Mulligan: “You’re out of order! This whole damn court’s out of order!” Mulligan mimes shooting a gun in the air; SFX – gun shots) 8. KATHY SPELLMAN, WESTON, MASSACHUSETTS: “HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO THOSE WHO SAY YOU ARE A DEVIOUS EGOMANIAC WHO BELONGS BEHIND BARS?” Scooter: (does not respond) DAVE: “SCOOTER?” Scooter: “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought that question was for you.” rim shot Mulligan: “Beer me!” (guy runs in and hands Gerry a mug of beer. Gerry chugs it.) 9. TOM LENNON, HUNTINGTON, WEST VIRGINIA: “WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED FROM THIS ENTIRE EXPERIENCE?” Scooter: “I learned a valuable lesson that I want all the kids to hear: You can avoid consequences if you’re friends with rich powerful assholes.” rim shot Mulligan: “USA! USA! USA! USA!” (mimes complex drum solo as Anton does the drumming) 10. ART MITCHELL, MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA: “BOTH YOU AND PARIS HILTON MADE HEADLINES LAST MONTH FOR YOUR PRISON SENTENCES. HAVE YOU EVER MET HER?” Scooter: “No, but we do have a lot in common. For example, we’ve both devoted our lives to servicing Dick.” rim shot Mulligan (begins to exit) “‘Scott Baio is 45 and Single’ on VH-1! If you can find a better reality show about Scott Baio, watch it!” Paul plays “You Be Illin’.” Mulligan exits. ACT 2 Dave isn’t one to gossip; not one to spread rumors, but he heard a story this morning that shocked him. Dave phones the intern Samantha upstairs to have her tell her story. Samantha corrects Dave on two points: She is not an intern, but a staffer for the past 7 years; and her name is Amanda, not Samantha. Amanda went to the Maury Povich show recently. It took her ten years to get tickets. It’s a very popular program. Amanda went to the taping and during the commercial break, Maury came up to Amanda and barked, “Hey, Peggy, you got $20?” Amanda replied, “I do have $20 but my name is not Peggy.” Maury was livid and barked again, “I don’t care if your name is Helen Reddy, I want you to go out and buy me a pack of cigarettes!” Amanda snapped back at him, “Why don’t you get your own cigarettes?!” Things got ugly. And then some Air Force dudes but in and tasered Maury. They asked if Amanda wouldn’t mind keeping this whole incident quiet. Unbelievable, isn’t it? And what was the show’s topic for the morning? “Martians” says Amanda. Wow! I know there was a request by the show to keep this quiet, but too many people must have seen this and will likely be a front page story in next week’s Star. TOP TEN: Things I’d Rather Be Doing Right Now 9. Calling Regis Philbin and hanging up. 6. Just coolin’ it with shorties, drinking forties. GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: We see FDR. We see JFK. We see our President responding to the question during a public Q&A: “Could you comment, Mr. President, on how well prepared we are for, God forbid, the next Katrina or pandemic outbreak or other such calamity?” The President stands and walks the stage, playing with the microphone cord. Bush: “. . . . . uhhh . . . . . . ummm . . . . . the ummmm . . . . . . . . . . .” I feel a whole lot safer now, don’t you? ACT 3 MICHEL LAUZIERE: The Master of the Unusual – getting your Masters in the Unusual is a two-year course. What’s he gonna do on 53rd Street? Michel is on in-line skates. Attached to the skates are wooden dowels. Lining the street is two lines of 150 bottles each filled with liquid of various amounts. As Michel skates between the 2 lines of bottles, the wooden dowels will tap each bottle. The sound from the bottles will create the Toreador song from the opera “Carmen.” Michel was here to do something from Mozart in a similar performance back in May of 2006. Dave gives Michel the go ahead and he begins after a split second of concentration. The oddly entertaining performance gives me great satisfaction. I liked this a lot. Bravo, Michel, bravo! ACT 4,6 MICHELLE PFEIFFER – the three-time Academy Award nominated actress. The films: “Dangerous Liasons,” “The Fabulous Baker Boys,” and “Love Field.” Her new film, “Hairspray,” the probably hit of the summer, opens on Friday. And she has completed two other films which will soon follow. Before we see a clip from “Hairspray,” we enjoy one of her first acting jobs, on “Fantasy Island” – 1978. Even then, you knew stardom was in her future. ACT 5: “It’s time for an exclusive ‘Tony Mendez Show Preview!’ Join Tony this Tuesday as he apologizes to LATE SHOW guest Michael Cera. Just log on to www.cbs.com/lateshow. You won’t want to miss it! We’ll be right back.” ACT 7: JONAH HILL: From the film, Superbad, opening August 17th. He’s currently in Knocked Up and Evan Almighty. His friend owns a waxing salon in L.A. where he sometimes goes to hang out. He’s noticed that a lot of guys go there for a waxing, which he finds kind of odd. (Odder than hanging out at a waxing salon?) Jonah has coined a phrase he wants to copyright for a waxing a guy would get: a “Bro-zilian.” It hurts just thinking about it. Jonah tells a story of his buddy Schmitt who had a dream about Paul Shaffer. Schmitt says in his dream, Jonah and Paul were having dinner. An argument ensued over who had the cooler clothes. And then Schmitt says Paul and Jonah starting having sex in the restaurant. Crazy dream. And then the next day . . . in real life, not the dream . . . Schmitt woke up, got dressed and went outside his apartment. Who did he see? Paul Shaffer. Paul was fully dressed and not having sex with anyone. Jonah Hill – see him in “Superbad” opening August 17th. And that was our show for Monday July 16, 2007. I had a very nice day with my daughter Danielle on Saturday. She had a basketball game in the city at 10:00 AM and she hit her first 3 shots from the outside, and soon followed that up with a couple 3-pointers. Afterwards, we made a quick visit to St. Patrick’s Cathedral and the American Girl Doll store. Whenever I’m in the area, I make it a point to step inside the great Cathedral. And whenever Danielle is in the area, she makes it a point to step inside the American Girl Doll store, although I think the doll store is starting to lose its appeal to the pre-teen. And then Danielle took her first subway ride. We headed downtown and got off at West 4th Street. We went to street level and took a walk to Washington Square Park. We sat by the fountain and she soon asked if she could frolic. There were already one or two others in the fountain so I told her to go ahead and wade. She walked, splashed, and then did a quick run-around the fountain spray. We continued on our walk, but first we hugged a guy who held a sign “Free Hugs”. She asked “Why do you want hugs?” and he said, “Why not?” We enjoyed the music in the park, the many dogs being walked, and the characters that make Washington Square such a visual treat. On our way back to the subway, we came across “The Cage,” one of the best-known basketball courts in the city. The court is rather small and fenced in, hence the name “The Cage.” A game was about to start featuring women of college age. Danielle started chatting with a guy next to us who explained the position of point guard to her, since she was still in her basketball uniform. And then 5 minutes into the game, one of the players suffered a separated shoulder. It looked painful. And from her wails, it sounded painful. At least 10 people shouted the advice, “Pop it back in. You got to pop it back in.” Somebody approached and was about to attempt to “pop it back in” but the player’s increasingly louder shrieks made him back off. The ref smartly advised to anyone thinking of “popping it back in” that if you don’t know what you’re doing, get out of the way. I applauded the sage advice. When it looked as if Danielle was deciding for herself never to drive to the basket again, I decided we saw enough and headed back to the car. “You won’t want to miss it!” We heard it tonight in the ACT 5 concerning Tuesday’s Tony Mendez Show. “’The Tony Mendez Preview.’ You won’t want to miss it.” “You won’t want to miss it” is a common “come on” to keep viewers watching so they won’t go away. We hear it all the time on the radio and the TV news just before they go to commercial. They entice you so you won’t go away. But is “You won’t want to miss it” really much of a ringing endorsement? The opposite of “you won’t want to miss it” is “you will want to miss it.” Wanting to miss something means you really don’t want to see it; you want to avoid it at all costs --- I WANT to miss it. When you say “You won’t want to miss it”, all you’re saying is the thing isn’t so terrible that you would WANT to miss it. If you miss it, it’s OK. If you don’t miss it, that’s OK, too. It’s nothing special. “You won’t want to miss it” tells us it’s no so bad. Not much of a ringing endorsement at all. Am I right, or am I only taking up space here? Someone gave me a heads up on an article in the Wall Street Journal about the “Blog” about to celebrate its 10th anniversary. The reader wrote the opening, “Let me be probably the 100th person to send you this.” I laughed. Wahoo readers who also read the Wall Street Journal? Oh, that’s a good one. Check out the article. http://online.wsj.com/article/SB118436667045766268.html The article gives the birth date of the blog as December 23, 1997 when Jorn Barger wrote on this website Robot Wisdom, “I decided to start own webpage logging the best stuff I find as I surf, on a daily basis.” The article later claims, “By widespread consensus, 1997 is a reasonable point at which to mark the emergence of the blog as a distinct life form.” Wahoo note: the first Wahoo Gazette appeared in November of 1996. By the time December 23, 1997 rolled around, the Wahoo Gazette already had a mustache and a driver’s license. Remember the old saying: Close doesn’t count except in horseshoes and hand grenades. Here’s another one; Close doesn’t count except in horseshoes, hand grenades, and CW11 Morning News. They almost get things right. The other morning there was a multiple choice trivia question about something that took place in a certain country. Which country? You choose A) Japan B) Canada C) France D) Austria. (may not be the exact 4 choices) One of the women at the news desk says quickly and under the commotion, “Well, it can’t be B because Canada isn’t a country.” I wasn’t listening that closely, in fact, I was doing this at the time, but I stopped immediately and said “What!?” The news anchorwoman looked at the woman and did the same; “What!?” A lot was going on during the segment so this was missed by most. The comment was ignored. Yeah, I know I should have ordered up the clip but I was about to start my vacation and thoughts turned to relaxation instead. HA! I’m watching the CW11 right now, RIGHT NOW! They’re talking about the top places to live in America, as listed in a magazine. The town of Nanuet is in the top 25. They list Nanuet as being in Long Island. Nope. Nanuet is in Rockland County, 35 miles north of the city. Almost, CW11, almost. But I guess the Wahoo Gazette should be the last to comment on someone being almost right. And now, even more useless information from “The Ultimate Book of Useless Information”* by Neil Botham & The Useless Information Society. - the longest known record for constipation is 102 days - your thumb is the same length as your nose - 60% of babies are born before breakfast - you blink more than ten million times a year - the white area at the base of your fingernail is called the lunula And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think. CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER From New York, New York, famed makeup artist and salon owner, 1976 Ramapo High School graduate Laura Geller. This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER


	ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Ask Scooter Libby

	ACT 2 • Dave Calls Amanda • Top Ten Things I'd Rather Be Doing Right Now Read now • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches

	ACT 3 • Master of the Unusual, Michel Lauziere Watch now

	ACT 4 • Michelle Pfeiffer

	ACT 5 • "The Tony Mendez Show" Preview

	ACT 6 • More with Michelle Pfeiffer

	ACT 7 • Jonah Hill Watch now


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