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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Paul Teutul and Paul Teutul, Jr.; Vera Farmiga; and Joe Matarese. PLUS:A New Apple Commercial; Heat Wave 2007 Update; our Director Jerry Foley; a New Bush Poll; the Late Show Summer Fun Trivia Challenge; a Top Ten List; and Biff’s Portrait Done in Chalk on 53rd Street.
“ . . . and now, tousled-haired slacker . . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Out on 53rd Street is our Biff Henderson with chalk artist Michael Kirby. Michael, from Baltimore, Maryland, will create a portrait of Biff on the street. He’s been a practicing street chalk artist for 12 years.
Some Kirby Facts:
- Michael is from Baltimore and is a professional street painter and muralist.
- He’s been a professional artist for 16 years and has been doing 3-D chalk art for 12
years.
- He recently painted a 3000 square foot mural of Pocahontas for the Jamestown 400th
Anniversary Celebration.
- To complete the portrait Michael will use about 30 sticks of soft pastel pigment.
- Michael will be assisted by an employee of his named Michael Walls.
- After Michael is finished the portrait could possibly last anywhere from a few minutes
to 7 days depending on rain, wind, pedestrian or auto traffic.
Other portraits of Biff created on the Late Show:
- Tattoo on a kid’s leg
- Ice sculpture
- Legos
- Dominoes
- Cheese
- Post-it Notes
- Bubblegum
- Ketchup
We’ll be back right after this message from Apple. It’s another one of those MAC/PC commercials starring Gerard Mulligan and Chris Elliott. In this one, Chris pulls something out of his ass.
As a public service to viewers who are concerned about the extreme temperatures, we’ve prepared something called “HEAT WAVE 2007 UPDATE.”
We watch. We see a graphic reading, “Heat Wave 2007 Update.”
We see shot of a woman in a bikini. And then another shot of a woman in a bikini. Then two women. And another. And then another. Two more women. Three women. Two. Three. Another woman. And lots more shots of woman in bikinis. By the time we got to the end of the update, Dave had forgotten what he was going to say.
As Dave tries to collect his thoughts, we hear some bellowing over the theater’s loud speaker. It’s the director, Jerry Foley. He doesn’t sound pleased. He finally gets Dave’s attention. JERRY VOICE OVER: “Oh, for the love of Mike. What are you doing, Letterman? Letterman! What are you doing?” DAVE: That’s our director, Jerry Foley. Is there a problem, Jerry? JERRY: (shot of ‘Jerry’ in Control Room): “I don’t know what to do! I honestly don’t know what the hell to do! I tried being the nice guy and politely told you to learn your lines. And you don’t listen. So fine . . . . not I gotta be the ‘sdd’hole! You asked permission to leave work earlier tonight, didn’t you?” DAVE: (smiling) “Yes. My cousin’s in town. We’re going to ‘Mama Mia.’” JERRY: “Well, you’re gonna have to cancel, princess. You’re staying late to rehearse.”
(Dave mutters) JERRY: “What’s that? You got something you wanna say to me, tough guy?” DAVE: “No, sir.” JERRY: “That’s what I thought.” (to tech director) Take 2.”
That was awkward. Jerry is really taking it to Dave. I hope everything’s OK at home.
There was an interesting fact regarding a recent Bush poll. We take a look at this announcement. Announce: (photo of Pew Research Center) “According to the Pew Research Center, the word (vt of Bush) people feel best encapsulates President Bush is ‘incompetence.’ Interesting, but here are a few other words to consider:
Clumsy (vt of Bush tripping)
Confused (vt of Bush trying to pull open a locked door)
Awkward (vt of Bush hitting head on helicopter)
Oafish (vt of Bush slapping wife Laura’s ass)
Lazy (vt of Bush on golf course)
Helpless (vt of Bush staring blankly into camera)
Clueless (vt of Bush bouncing a deflated basketball)
Dumbass (vt of Bush dropping his dog)
And Jackass (vt of Bush spitting)
George W. Bush --- 26% and falling.”
Back outside to Michael Kirby who is well on his way of creating the portrait of Biff on 53rd Street. Dave tells Biff to yell at the crowd peering in to get a close look at the happenings on the street. Biff follows the suggestion: “Hey, you deadbeats, move back!” Biff continues, ”Get out of here! You’re making me sick!”
ACT 2:
We go back to check in on Michael’s progress on the Biff portrait out on 53rd. Dave instructs Biff to berate the crowd one more time. He does so with hesitation.
DAVE: “Hey! Do you know what time it is! That’s right! It’s time for . . . .”
Crowd announce: “The Late Show Summer Fun Trivia Challenge!”
A round festive “Late Show Summer Fun Trivia Challenge” drops from the ceiling and rests by Dave. DAVE: “In just a moment, someone in tonight’s audience will have a chance to win $10,000 or a four-day, three-night stat at the Sandals Grande Resort in Ocho Rios, Jamaica! Before we begin, here are the rules of the competition. Take it away, Alan.”
ALAN proceeds to read at an extremely fast pace paragraphs and paragraphs and paragraphs of rules to the Late Show Summer Fun Trivia Challenge. He continues longer than anyone would expect. And then even longer than that. Dave finally interrupts and asks, “Alan, how much longer?” Alan checks the cue cards and says, “Quite a bit, Dave.” Dave apologizes to the audience and tells them we have run out of time.
Before going to commercial, Dave extends his appreciation and admiration to Alan Kalter for his fine read during the Late Show Summer Fun Trivia Challenge. I agree. Fantastic job. And of course, there is usually someone else behind the scenes who deserves a kudo for a job well done. That would go to Kyle, the assistant cue card guy. The cards were neatly written and adeptly kept up to the pace of Alan. Nice job, Alan and Kyle.
ACT 3: Paul Teutul and Paul Teutul Jr. of the TLC’s “American Chopper.” Now when Paul and Paul are on the show, Mikey usually joins them and is out with the bikes on Broadway or bending pipe in the lobby. Where is he tonight? Papa Paul says, “In Amsterdam . . . and you don’t want to know any more.” Dave’s eyes widen, wanting to know “Have you heard from him?” They haven’t. Dave follows with, “Have you heard from the embassy?” Paul and Paul laugh, but seem a bit concerned.
“American Chopper,” perhaps Dave’s favorite show. This summer it begins 5th season and will celebrate its 100th show. And before than, what do they do for vacation? Paul Jr. likes travel and is just back from the Bahamas. Paul Sr. likes to go to work on his vacation. He likes to go to the shop “just to check on things.” Dave understands. He says, “You got to go or else they’ll steal you blind.” Paul Sr. smiles and gives a knowing nod.
Paul Jr. knows Dave is a fan of the show and wonders what Dave would like to see in the 5th season?
Dave is ready. Off the top of his head, Dave reels off:
“I like it when you (Paul Sr.) go nuts.”
“And I like it when you (Paul Jr.) go nuts and toss something through the door.”
“I like it when you two are away and Vinny and Rick build stuff.”
“I like watching Nub paint”
“I love it when you bend pipe.”
“I like Jack (?) on the computer.”
Dave likes the bikin’ and fightin’
And when we get back from commercial, Dave says Paul and Paul “will do something that dumb buys love.” Paul Sr. adds, “We’ll do something that dumb guys DO.”
ACT 4:
We find the Teutuls out on Broadway aboard their Greenie old school bikes. Each bike faces each other and the boys rev ‘em up. The rear tires spin and spin, kicking up smoke, dust, and NYC dirt. And it’s loud. Heck, I liked it and I ain’t dubm . . . . I mean dumb.
ACT 5: VERA FARMIGA: Dave apologizes for a bit of a miscue in pronouncing her name earlier in the show. It’s far-ME-gah. Dave says when he looks at the name he expects something to be silent, like far-ME-uh. Vera is not bothered by it and explains how a substitute gym teacher once called her “Verna Flamingo.” Dave smiles but again apologized, explaining that he should do better than a substitute gym teacher.
The last time Vera was on the program, we learned that she raised goats.
She raises 4 Nubian goats and she is planning on breeding them. Right now her 4 goats are each female, so she’s gonna have to . . . . do something different. And she knows that. There’s two ways she can go: one is to have the goats artificially inseminated. She doesn’t plan on doing that because she has no desire to go . . . in there . . . with a syringe. I was thinking the bigger problem was how to fill the syringe. The second option is getting a buck to come in a do it naturally. Dave says he thinks that’s the preferable method for all involved.
Vera grew up with animals in her family. There were always rabbits and chickens and goats around the house. And then there wouldn’t be as many rabbits, chickens, and goats around the house. They would be on her plate. Vera was always suspicious whenever she was served a “layered” dish. She wondered what was hidden amidst the layers.
Vera also learned that whatever amount you feed a sheep, it will eat the entire serving. Sheep have four stomachs and eat to fill each. They never stop. She says her sheep ate until it exploded. Dave laughs and recalls the old joke, “What’s the last thing you hear before a sheep explodes? . . . . . Ssssss, Boom, Bah!
Vera is, as Dave explains, a one-stop shopper. She has goats, she shears the goats, she knits sweaters from the hair of the sheared goats. Her boyfriend bought her a portable spinning wheel. Some may consider it an odd gift but he’s gotten two sweaters out of it.
Vera is in a new, very creepy, film, “Joshua.” It’s set in NYC and everything goes nuts for the family soon after a new baby girl is born and her older brother, Joshua, gets creepier and creepier by the minute. Vera explains the clip we are about to see and Dave cringes his nose and asks Vera, “is this something you really want to see?” Says Vera with a shrug, “Hey, I’ve seen sheep explode.” Very funny, Vera. Nice pick up.
“Joshua” – now playing in selected cities.
ACT 6:
We go back outside to 53rd Street to see the finished chalk drawing of Biff by Michael Kirby. The slow reveal shows a lovely color portrait of Biff in chalk on the street. A very nice job. I’m going to go to Google maps to see if it shows. I hope it doesn’t rain.
ACT 7: JOE MATARESE: The comedian is making his debut with us tonight and he’ll be performing all next week at the 25th Annual Montreal Comedy Festival.
And that was our show for Wednesday July 12, 2007.
I got a gander at the iPhone the other day. It’s ridiculous what it can do, but that’s not saying much coming from me. I’m still amazed that I can make a phone call on a phone without a cord. It boggles my mind when I think where technology was 20 years ago and then think where we might be in 20 years.
And speaking of technology, I woke early last Sunday and saw a show about geocaching. It’s sort of like treasure hunting with a handheld GPS machine. It got my interest. I think I’ll give it a go. Any geocachers out there?
Wednesday night I got home at a normal hour and with little to do, decided to watch some leisure TV. There was no Yankee game on so I was facing new uncharted territory. I don’t remember the last time I sat down in front of the tube to watch a non-sport network program. It was 9:20 PM.
I flipped the channel and this is what was on.
Wednesday night sched:
900-10:00 - NBC – America’s Got Talent
9:00-9:30 - FOX – So You Think You Can Dance
9:30-10:00 – FOX = Don’t Forget The Lyrics
9:00-10:00 –ABC – American Inventors
9:00-10:00 - CW – America’s Next Top Model
9:00-10:00 - CBS - Criminal Minds
What has happened to network television? All these channels and only one is not a reality game show? Ugghhhhh. No wonder all I watch is the Yankees. This junk is on because people watch it. What is wrong with you people! Stop watching this junk! It’s nothing but games you would play at a 13-year-old girl’s birthday party. In the future we’ll look back at these times and truly agree that this was an incredibly dismal time for network television. It’s the leisure suit of TV.
Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees has impeccable timing. He’s having a great great year. He can opt out of his contract at the end of the year and go free agent. And the Yankees are desperate to put out a great team in 2008, their last year at the historic Yankee Stadium. And I’ve read where it means a lot to A-Rod to be the highest paid player in baseball. Hoo boy. He is going to cost the Yankees a lot if they want to keep him. But the Yankees are a smart business team. They recently signed two players from China, the first major league baseball team to do so. Are these two players from China any good? Doesn’t matter. The publicity it created in China will surely put the Yankee brand and Yankee label first and foremost to the huge China population. That will make for a lot of New York Yankee hats sold. But don’t get mad at the Yankees for doing this. Any team in the major leagues could have taken advantage and gotten a head start in the China market. But it’s the Yankees who did it first. Yankee hat sales in China alone could pay for the new A-Rod contract.
JACK-FM radio is now back to the Golden Oldies WCBS-FM here in New York. The great JACK experiment failed miserably. It’s back to WCBS. Two years ago, WCBS, home of the hits of the 50s, 60s, and 70’s switched over without warning to contemporary rock without DJs. I gave it a listen. Never liked it. When I heard it was going back to the original, I decided to give the JACK another listen just to see once again what has failed. Not one song played ever had an ounce of emotional attachment for me. It was all garbage from bands like Boston and Journey and Kansas and Foreigner. All the same sound, all the same wailing ballads that were sung with a forced painful woe. Uggh. And then the change was made back to WCBS at 1:01 PM on Thursday, but it is no longer the hits of the 50s, 60s, and 70s but the hits of the 60s, 70s, and 80s. The first song I heard was from Santana, followed by Stevie Wonder, followed by two good songs, a bad one, another bad one, and then three good ones. The two bad ones were from the 80s. Anyway, I’m not much of a music listener anymore, and I blame that mostly on New York radio, but it’s good to have WCBS back.
JACK-FM played the hits that were made hits simply from repetition. They never played a song where I looked down at my speedometer and found I was driving 10 mph faster that I was a minute ago.
Paraskevidekatriaphobia - Fear of Friday the 13th
The term paraskevidekatriaphobia was first coined in the early nineties by Dr. Donald E. Dossey, an American psychotherapist specializing in phobias and stress management, who reputedly claimed that when someone was able to pronounce the word they were cured! The term is based on the Greek words paraskevi (‘Friday’) and dekatria (‘thirteen’) with -phobia as a suffix to indicate ‘fear’.
Every year has at least one Friday the 13th.
And now, even more useless information from “The Ultimate Book of Useless Information” by Neil Botham & The Useless Information Society.
- Americans use 16,000 tons of aspirin each year
- banging your head against a wall will burn 150 calories an hour
- the human tooth has 55 miles of canals in it
- the average human bladder can hold thirteen fluid ounces of liquid
- fingernails grow nearly four times faster than toenails
And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Huntsville, Alabama, 47 miles east of Crescent Springs Valley, it’s Matt Cooney.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Paul Teutul and Paul Teutul, Jr.; Vera Farmiga; and Joe Matarese. PLUS:A New Apple Commercial; Heat Wave 2007 Update; our Director Jerry Foley; a New Bush Poll; the Late Show Summer Fun Trivia Challenge; a Top Ten List; and Biff’s Portrait Done in Chalk on 53rd Street.
“ . . . and now, tousled-haired slacker . . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Out on 53rd Street is our Biff Henderson with chalk artist Michael Kirby. Michael, from Baltimore, Maryland, will create a portrait of Biff on the street. He’s been a practicing street chalk artist for 12 years.
Some Kirby Facts:
- Michael is from Baltimore and is a professional street painter and muralist.
- He’s been a professional artist for 16 years and has been doing 3-D chalk art for 12
years.
- He recently painted a 3000 square foot mural of Pocahontas for the Jamestown 400th
Anniversary Celebration.
- To complete the portrait Michael will use about 30 sticks of soft pastel pigment.
- Michael will be assisted by an employee of his named Michael Walls.
- After Michael is finished the portrait could possibly last anywhere from a few minutes
to 7 days depending on rain, wind, pedestrian or auto traffic.
Other portraits of Biff created on the Late Show:
- Tattoo on a kid’s leg
- Ice sculpture
- Legos
- Dominoes
- Cheese
- Post-it Notes
- Bubblegum
- Ketchup
We’ll be back right after this message from Apple. It’s another one of those MAC/PC commercials starring Gerard Mulligan and Chris Elliott. In this one, Chris pulls something out of his ass.
As a public service to viewers who are concerned about the extreme temperatures, we’ve prepared something called “HEAT WAVE 2007 UPDATE.”
We watch. We see a graphic reading, “Heat Wave 2007 Update.”
We see shot of a woman in a bikini. And then another shot of a woman in a bikini. Then two women. And another. And then another. Two more women. Three women. Two. Three. Another woman. And lots more shots of woman in bikinis. By the time we got to the end of the update, Dave had forgotten what he was going to say.
As Dave tries to collect his thoughts, we hear some bellowing over the theater’s loud speaker. It’s the director, Jerry Foley. He doesn’t sound pleased. He finally gets Dave’s attention. JERRY VOICE OVER: “Oh, for the love of Mike. What are you doing, Letterman? Letterman! What are you doing?” DAVE: That’s our director, Jerry Foley. Is there a problem, Jerry? JERRY: (shot of ‘Jerry’ in Control Room): “I don’t know what to do! I honestly don’t know what the hell to do! I tried being the nice guy and politely told you to learn your lines. And you don’t listen. So fine . . . . not I gotta be the ‘sdd’hole! You asked permission to leave work earlier tonight, didn’t you?” DAVE: (smiling) “Yes. My cousin’s in town. We’re going to ‘Mama Mia.’” JERRY: “Well, you’re gonna have to cancel, princess. You’re staying late to rehearse.”
(Dave mutters) JERRY: “What’s that? You got something you wanna say to me, tough guy?” DAVE: “No, sir.” JERRY: “That’s what I thought.” (to tech director) Take 2.”
That was awkward. Jerry is really taking it to Dave. I hope everything’s OK at home.
There was an interesting fact regarding a recent Bush poll. We take a look at this announcement. Announce: (photo of Pew Research Center) “According to the Pew Research Center, the word (vt of Bush) people feel best encapsulates President Bush is ‘incompetence.’ Interesting, but here are a few other words to consider:
Clumsy (vt of Bush tripping)
Confused (vt of Bush trying to pull open a locked door)
Awkward (vt of Bush hitting head on helicopter)
Oafish (vt of Bush slapping wife Laura’s ass)
Lazy (vt of Bush on golf course)
Helpless (vt of Bush staring blankly into camera)
Clueless (vt of Bush bouncing a deflated basketball)
Dumbass (vt of Bush dropping his dog)
And Jackass (vt of Bush spitting)
George W. Bush --- 26% and falling.”
Back outside to Michael Kirby who is well on his way of creating the portrait of Biff on 53rd Street. Dave tells Biff to yell at the crowd peering in to get a close look at the happenings on the street. Biff follows the suggestion: “Hey, you deadbeats, move back!” Biff continues, ”Get out of here! You’re making me sick!”
ACT 2:
We go back to check in on Michael’s progress on the Biff portrait out on 53rd. Dave instructs Biff to berate the crowd one more time. He does so with hesitation.
DAVE: “Hey! Do you know what time it is! That’s right! It’s time for . . . .”
Crowd announce: “The Late Show Summer Fun Trivia Challenge!”
A round festive “Late Show Summer Fun Trivia Challenge” drops from the ceiling and rests by Dave. DAVE: “In just a moment, someone in tonight’s audience will have a chance to win $10,000 or a four-day, three-night stat at the Sandals Grande Resort in Ocho Rios, Jamaica! Before we begin, here are the rules of the competition. Take it away, Alan.”
ALAN proceeds to read at an extremely fast pace paragraphs and paragraphs and paragraphs of rules to the Late Show Summer Fun Trivia Challenge. He continues longer than anyone would expect. And then even longer than that. Dave finally interrupts and asks, “Alan, how much longer?” Alan checks the cue cards and says, “Quite a bit, Dave.” Dave apologizes to the audience and tells them we have run out of time.
Before going to commercial, Dave extends his appreciation and admiration to Alan Kalter for his fine read during the Late Show Summer Fun Trivia Challenge. I agree. Fantastic job. And of course, there is usually someone else behind the scenes who deserves a kudo for a job well done. That would go to Kyle, the assistant cue card guy. The cards were neatly written and adeptly kept up to the pace of Alan. Nice job, Alan and Kyle.
ACT 3: Paul Teutul and Paul Teutul Jr. of the TLC’s “American Chopper.” Now when Paul and Paul are on the show, Mikey usually joins them and is out with the bikes on Broadway or bending pipe in the lobby. Where is he tonight? Papa Paul says, “In Amsterdam . . . and you don’t want to know any more.” Dave’s eyes widen, wanting to know “Have you heard from him?” They haven’t. Dave follows with, “Have you heard from the embassy?” Paul and Paul laugh, but seem a bit concerned.
“American Chopper,” perhaps Dave’s favorite show. This summer it begins 5th season and will celebrate its 100th show. And before than, what do they do for vacation? Paul Jr. likes travel and is just back from the Bahamas. Paul Sr. likes to go to work on his vacation. He likes to go to the shop “just to check on things.” Dave understands. He says, “You got to go or else they’ll steal you blind.” Paul Sr. smiles and gives a knowing nod.
Paul Jr. knows Dave is a fan of the show and wonders what Dave would like to see in the 5th season?
Dave is ready. Off the top of his head, Dave reels off:
“I like it when you (Paul Sr.) go nuts.”
“And I like it when you (Paul Jr.) go nuts and toss something through the door.”
“I like it when you two are away and Vinny and Rick build stuff.”
“I like watching Nub paint”
“I love it when you bend pipe.”
“I like Jack (?) on the computer.”
Dave likes the bikin’ and fightin’
And when we get back from commercial, Dave says Paul and Paul “will do something that dumb buys love.” Paul Sr. adds, “We’ll do something that dumb guys DO.”
ACT 4:
We find the Teutuls out on Broadway aboard their Greenie old school bikes. Each bike faces each other and the boys rev ‘em up. The rear tires spin and spin, kicking up smoke, dust, and NYC dirt. And it’s loud. Heck, I liked it and I ain’t dubm . . . . I mean dumb.
ACT 5: VERA FARMIGA: Dave apologizes for a bit of a miscue in pronouncing her name earlier in the show. It’s far-ME-gah. Dave says when he looks at the name he expects something to be silent, like far-ME-uh. Vera is not bothered by it and explains how a substitute gym teacher once called her “Verna Flamingo.” Dave smiles but again apologized, explaining that he should do better than a substitute gym teacher.
The last time Vera was on the program, we learned that she raised goats.
She raises 4 Nubian goats and she is planning on breeding them. Right now her 4 goats are each female, so she’s gonna have to . . . . do something different. And she knows that. There’s two ways she can go: one is to have the goats artificially inseminated. She doesn’t plan on doing that because she has no desire to go . . . in there . . . with a syringe. I was thinking the bigger problem was how to fill the syringe. The second option is getting a buck to come in a do it naturally. Dave says he thinks that’s the preferable method for all involved.
Vera grew up with animals in her family. There were always rabbits and chickens and goats around the house. And then there wouldn’t be as many rabbits, chickens, and goats around the house. They would be on her plate. Vera was always suspicious whenever she was served a “layered” dish. She wondered what was hidden amidst the layers.
Vera also learned that whatever amount you feed a sheep, it will eat the entire serving. Sheep have four stomachs and eat to fill each. They never stop. She says her sheep ate until it exploded. Dave laughs and recalls the old joke, “What’s the last thing you hear before a sheep explodes? . . . . . Ssssss, Boom, Bah!
Vera is, as Dave explains, a one-stop shopper. She has goats, she shears the goats, she knits sweaters from the hair of the sheared goats. Her boyfriend bought her a portable spinning wheel. Some may consider it an odd gift but he’s gotten two sweaters out of it.
Vera is in a new, very creepy, film, “Joshua.” It’s set in NYC and everything goes nuts for the family soon after a new baby girl is born and her older brother, Joshua, gets creepier and creepier by the minute. Vera explains the clip we are about to see and Dave cringes his nose and asks Vera, “is this something you really want to see?” Says Vera with a shrug, “Hey, I’ve seen sheep explode.” Very funny, Vera. Nice pick up.
“Joshua” – now playing in selected cities.
ACT 6:
We go back outside to 53rd Street to see the finished chalk drawing of Biff by Michael Kirby. The slow reveal shows a lovely color portrait of Biff in chalk on the street. A very nice job. I’m going to go to Google maps to see if it shows. I hope it doesn’t rain.
ACT 7: JOE MATARESE: The comedian is making his debut with us tonight and he’ll be performing all next week at the 25th Annual Montreal Comedy Festival.
And that was our show for Wednesday July 12, 2007.
I got a gander at the iPhone the other day. It’s ridiculous what it can do, but that’s not saying much coming from me. I’m still amazed that I can make a phone call on a phone without a cord. It boggles my mind when I think where technology was 20 years ago and then think where we might be in 20 years.
And speaking of technology, I woke early last Sunday and saw a show about geocaching. It’s sort of like treasure hunting with a handheld GPS machine. It got my interest. I think I’ll give it a go. Any geocachers out there?
Wednesday night I got home at a normal hour and with little to do, decided to watch some leisure TV. There was no Yankee game on so I was facing new uncharted territory. I don’t remember the last time I sat down in front of the tube to watch a non-sport network program. It was 9:20 PM.
I flipped the channel and this is what was on.
Wednesday night sched:
900-10:00 - NBC – America’s Got Talent
9:00-9:30 - FOX – So You Think You Can Dance
9:30-10:00 – FOX = Don’t Forget The Lyrics
9:00-10:00 –ABC – American Inventors
9:00-10:00 - CW – America’s Next Top Model
9:00-10:00 - CBS - Criminal Minds
What has happened to network television? All these channels and only one is not a reality game show? Ugghhhhh. No wonder all I watch is the Yankees. This junk is on because people watch it. What is wrong with you people! Stop watching this junk! It’s nothing but games you would play at a 13-year-old girl’s birthday party. In the future we’ll look back at these times and truly agree that this was an incredibly dismal time for network television. It’s the leisure suit of TV.
Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees has impeccable timing. He’s having a great great year. He can opt out of his contract at the end of the year and go free agent. And the Yankees are desperate to put out a great team in 2008, their last year at the historic Yankee Stadium. And I’ve read where it means a lot to A-Rod to be the highest paid player in baseball. Hoo boy. He is going to cost the Yankees a lot if they want to keep him. But the Yankees are a smart business team. They recently signed two players from China, the first major league baseball team to do so. Are these two players from China any good? Doesn’t matter. The publicity it created in China will surely put the Yankee brand and Yankee label first and foremost to the huge China population. That will make for a lot of New York Yankee hats sold. But don’t get mad at the Yankees for doing this. Any team in the major leagues could have taken advantage and gotten a head start in the China market. But it’s the Yankees who did it first. Yankee hat sales in China alone could pay for the new A-Rod contract.
JACK-FM radio is now back to the Golden Oldies WCBS-FM here in New York. The great JACK experiment failed miserably. It’s back to WCBS. Two years ago, WCBS, home of the hits of the 50s, 60s, and 70’s switched over without warning to contemporary rock without DJs. I gave it a listen. Never liked it. When I heard it was going back to the original, I decided to give the JACK another listen just to see once again what has failed. Not one song played ever had an ounce of emotional attachment for me. It was all garbage from bands like Boston and Journey and Kansas and Foreigner. All the same sound, all the same wailing ballads that were sung with a forced painful woe. Uggh. And then the change was made back to WCBS at 1:01 PM on Thursday, but it is no longer the hits of the 50s, 60s, and 70s but the hits of the 60s, 70s, and 80s. The first song I heard was from Santana, followed by Stevie Wonder, followed by two good songs, a bad one, another bad one, and then three good ones. The two bad ones were from the 80s. Anyway, I’m not much of a music listener anymore, and I blame that mostly on New York radio, but it’s good to have WCBS back.
JACK-FM played the hits that were made hits simply from repetition. They never played a song where I looked down at my speedometer and found I was driving 10 mph faster that I was a minute ago.
Paraskevidekatriaphobia - Fear of Friday the 13th
The term paraskevidekatriaphobia was first coined in the early nineties by Dr. Donald E. Dossey, an American psychotherapist specializing in phobias and stress management, who reputedly claimed that when someone was able to pronounce the word they were cured! The term is based on the Greek words paraskevi (‘Friday’) and dekatria (‘thirteen’) with -phobia as a suffix to indicate ‘fear’.
Every year has at least one Friday the 13th.
And now, even more useless information from “The Ultimate Book of Useless Information” by Neil Botham & The Useless Information Society.
- Americans use 16,000 tons of aspirin each year
- banging your head against a wall will burn 150 calories an hour
- the human tooth has 55 miles of canals in it
- the average human bladder can hold thirteen fluid ounces of liquid
- fingernails grow nearly four times faster than toenails
And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Huntsville, Alabama, 47 miles east of Crescent Springs Valley, it’s Matt Cooney.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Intro Chalk Artist Michael Kirby • Chris Elliott's Mac/PC Commercial • Heat Wave 2007 Update • Director Jerry Foley Interrupts from the Control Room • Bush Poll
ACT 2 • Check on Biff's Chalk Portrait • Late Show Summer Fun Trivia Challenge
ACT 3 • Check on Biff Chalk Portrait • Paul Teutul Jr. and Paul Teutul
ACT 4 • Check on Biff Chalk Portrait • The Teutuls on Broadway
