". . . and now, Spider-Man's arch nemesis . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1: Tonight on 53rd Street, we have a guy who has a pogo stick on steroids. It's Brian Spencer and his invention, the Vurtego Pro Pogo Stick. The Vurtego does not use a steel spring, but an air spring which is air compressed in a tube. He is able to reach 6 feet on this thing. Later in the show, he will attempt to jump over a New York City taxi cab.

A big congratulations to Paul Shaffer. He made an appearance on the hugely popular HBO series, "The Sopranos." Paul, ever the professional, kept tight-lipped about it. It was a surprise to all of us. Congratulations, Paul. We see a clip of his appearance last night. I may be taking the clip out of context, but I think this was when the wife or girlfriend of (a main character) finds out that her beau is dead. She screams. In the background, a television is on. On the television is Paul Shaffer from the Late Show. Nice going, Paul.

Lately, Dave has seen several of those commercials for Apple's Mac computer. There's the cool, hip dude representing the Mac, and a middle-aged heavy guy representing the PC. Dave is confused by some of the commercials. Like this one for instance.
We see Chris Elliott in a black wig playing the cool kid as the MAC.
We see Gerry Mulligan as the nerdy middle-aged man playing the PC.
Mulligan eventually rips the wig off of Elliott.
Makes me want to run out and buy an Apple MAC.

Dave contemplates the "Ugly Betty" dilemma. Is it good that a pretty woman plays the Ugly Betty, or is that bad? If I were an ugly actress, I would think this would be right up my alley. But the part went to a pretty actress. Why get a pretty actress and "ugly" her up when there are many ugly actresses out there looking for work? It's something to think about. Paul likens it to having a non-Jewish actor playing a Jewish guy.

This is the week the networks announce their fall lineups. Tonight to give us a preview of CBS's new offerings is the CBS Vice President in Charge of Prime Time Programming, Larry Driscoll. Larry walks out on stage. He is ancient.
Larry eventually makes it to his mark and slowly announces, "We're thinking maybe some kind of cop show."
He exits. I think it's called "CSI: Cop Show"

ACT 2:
SMALL TOWN NEWS

THE OZARK HEADLINER (OZARK, MISSOURI): "ADAMS FUNERAL HOME, 10TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION. LIVE ENTERTAINMENT."

THE YAZOO HERALD (YAZOO CITY, MISSISSIPPI): "SCENES FROM THE 2007 NATIONAL WILD TURKEY FEDERATION BANQUET. ANN HAMPTON WELLS, 3, WAS THE YOUNGEST PERSON IN ATTENDANCE. WELLS WON A DAISY RED RYDER BB GUN."

THE NORTH MYRTLE BEACH TIMES (NORTH MYRTLE BEACH, SOUTH CAROLINA): HERE'S SOMETHING FROM THE OBITUARIES PAGE: "AHH…IMAGINING THAT IRRESISTIBLE "NEW CAR" SMELL? CHECK OUT NEW CARS AT YAHOO! AUTOS."

THE DAILY NONPAREIL (COUNCIL BLUFFS, IOWA): "AN OVERLAND PARK, KANSAS MAN TOLD OFFICERS SOMEONE BROKE THE PASSENGER SIDE WINDOW ON HIS VEHICLE AND STOLE FIVE PENIS PUMPS AND PARTS, VALUED AT $1300."

THE MADISON COUNTY CARRIER (MADISON, FLORIDA): I'M NO EINSTEIN, BUT I THINK SOMETHING'S WRONG HERE: "DO YOU HAVE BIG PLANS FOR YOUR TAX RETURN?" READERS SAID "NO-66%, YES-44%."

THE SOUTH BEND TRIBUNE (SOUTH BEND, INDIANA): "LIVE IN HOUSEKEEPER WANTED, MUST BE WILLING TO CARE FOR 18 MONTH OLD CHIMPANZEE MONKEY."

THE SALEM NEWS EXTRA (SALEM, MISSOURI): HERE WE GO AGAIN… YOU DO THE MATH: "GOSPEL CONCERT FEATURING THE KINGSMEN QUARTET." (photo with seven guys)

THE ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION (ATLANTA, GEORGIA): A HELP WANTED AD: "EXPERIENCED SERVICE TECHNICIAN IN RESIDENTIAL AND COMMERCIAL. MUST HAVE ALL YOUR TEETH AND ABLE TO SPEAK IN FULL SENTENCES."

THE CAPE GAZETTE (LEWIS, DELAWARE): "PAUL A. LANGE, M.D. WAITING TIME 1 TO 4 DAYS"

FROM A KANSAS NEWSPAPER: "FOUND: SMALL 3 LEGGED DOG. TO CLAIM CALL AND GIVE DESCRIPTION."

ACT 3:
Little Known Facts About Mitt Romney - he was featured on "60 Minutes" last night.
10. Name is short for Mitzi.

MIKE MYERS - I missed most of this. We were thinking of changing one of the items in the top ten and I was retyping the list. If Dave were to add the new one, he would do it during the commercial break in front of the audience. If it was to be a new #3, he would read #4 and then read the #3. We don't do this too often, maybe twice a year. We prepared for it tonight, but later decided not to do it. The new joke considered:
3. Mitt Romney once had 1300 dollars worth of penis pumps stolen from his car.
Now, back to Mike Myers. From someone else's notes:
Canadian holidays vs. us holidays -
Called mom for mother's day - won't tell age: Mike says she is between 75-100. His mom says odd things on the phone: "You know who I don't trust? Circus folk." "You know what we haven't had in a while? A potato famine."
"Phil Sanders invented rust-resistant wheat."
Elton John: Years ago, Mike went to his first big Hollywood party; a charity fund raiser that Elton John throws every year. He see Elton waving to him to come over. Elton instead comes to Mike, pushing Harrison Ford out of the way to get to him. Elton is with a guy who says to Mike, "Hi, Mike, it's David Furnish. I'm Elton's boyfriend." It turned out that David Furnish went to high school with Mike.
At another party, he was with Elton when Elton started choking on a shrimp or a sandwich. And we learned that Elton is a fan of the hockey.
"Shrek the Third" opens Friday. Mike is the voice of Shrek. My guess is the film will do well.

ACT 4:
It's out to 53rd Street to see how Brian Spencer is doing. He is ready to attempt his jump of a cab using his Vurtego. He hops down the sidewalk once, twice, three times, four . . . and then leaps . . . . and lands on the hood of the taxi. He tries again. This time, Brian makes it. I want one of those.

ACT 5:
"Hey, America, are you ready to laugh? Well then, log on to the Late Show website for the '

Tony Mendez Show!' Tune in this Tuesday for the all-new adventure, 'Tony Meets the Queen of England.' Just go to www.cbs.com/LateShow. You'll be glad you did.
We'll be right back."
The clips from the upcoming Tony Mendez sure look exciting.
The Tony Mendez Show - it comes out once a week. There are a lot of people involved.

ACT 6/close
AMERICA FERRERA:
America comes from a big family; the youngest of 6. As with any big family, there were a lot of fights and a lot of teasing, but if anyone else outside the family teased, they would all jump in to defend. America, a common name in her parents' home in Latin America, did get a lot of teasing growing up in L.A. because of her name, so she used her middle name, Georgina. That didn't help much because she would be called Washington and stuff.
When did she know that she wanted to become an actress? She was 7 years old and she saw a VHS tape of the TV version of Gypsy with Bette Midler. America spent the whole summer watching it. I went through the same thing when I was 7, but it was of Mickey Mantle playing for the Yankees.
There are many "Ugly Betty's" around the world. The idea began in Columbia and was picked up in Mexico. Hollywood saw a chance to make a dollar on it so they adopted their own "Ugly Betty" and the franchise has since spread to Europe. America says to make her look "ugly," she had to be fitted with fake braces. The problem with that is it caused her to drool. At the end of the year wrap party, they showed outtakes of her drooling on herself.
But Betty isn't ugly at all . . . at least, America isn't. And "Ugly Betty" could best be described as "plain." She's got a good heart, is a good worker, and is a great friend. That is what makes her beautiful.
"Ugly Betty" - Thursdays at 8:00 on ABC.

And that was our show for Monday, May 14, 2007.



The Vurtego Pro Pogo Stick
1. the body of the pogo stick is filled with pressurized air
2. when the rider jumps down on the pedals, his weight forces the shaft and piston into the cylinder, compressing 24-inches of air into an 8-inch space.
3. when the pressure inside the cylinder exceeds the pressure exerted by the rider, the pogo stick reverses direction.

It's just that easy!

Paul gets paid for his appearance on The Sopranos. At least I think he does. We had a local gal many years ago who appeared on the soap opera "Somerset." During a scene in the film, "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Next," a bus passes a TV store. On the TV at that moment was Audrey Landers, our local gal. From what I recall, she received payment for that following some litigation. That's the way I heard it, anyway.

An appreciative 87-year-old Joel Bradbury thanks me for last week's Joel Bradbury's Fun Facts. He writes to add this comment about our friend, Mr. Letterman.

"THANKS ! Again for using the Fun Facts. Possibly due to my (approaching ?) senility, I left out a very important fact. I saw Dave at Murray State College in Murray, KY. while my son was there getting his Masters Degree. As I recall Dave's opening act was the current Miss Kentucky who sang a song. Dave's routine reminded me of Bill Cosby. He didn't tell jokes or funny stories, rather commented in a highly humorous way his trip from the airport to the college, etc. Think I read Dave made a 'college circuit' several times in his career."

And now, a segment brought to you by Wahoo reader, Arthur Donzarelli:
The Day They Were Born in Late Night History
America Ferrera was born April 18, 1984.
So what happened on Late Night the Day She Was Born?
Late Night, Episode # 382, April 18, 1984: Dave's Grab Bag, Erin Gray ("Silver Spoons"), Ethel Conrad with border collies and ducks, Campaign '84 Quiz, Franken & Davis.
This concludes another installment of What Happened on Late Night the Day They Were Born

So, where were you when you heard about the English settlers landing in Jamestown?
In 1607 three ships arrived from England with 104 men and boys. The ships were named the Godspeed, the Discovery, and the Susan Constant. Captain Christopher Newport was in charge. The settlers named the nearby river James after their king. They then chose a narrow peninsula on this river for their new home. They named the settlement Jamestown.

Wahoo reader James Nestor of Yorba Linda, California writes an objection to an item in my useless information piece. I had written:

-Lorne Green had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator while hosting an episode of "Lorne Green's Wild Kingdom"
James Nestor responded:
"The show was called Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. Loren didn't host it. Maybe it is called useless information because it is false."

Posted by Legion600 on 12 January, 2006 05:55 PM12. January 2006 05:55 PM:

"Lorne Greene didn't host 'Wild Kingdom.' He was the host of the shows 'Last of the Wild' and 'Lorne Greene's New Wilderness.'
On 'Last of the Wild' he only did narration though and was never around the animals.
He was around animals on his other show but there is no mention of him being attacked.
The only mention I can find of him having his nipple bitten off is sites that say it happened while he was the host of 'Wild Kingdom.'
Since he was never the host of that show I'd say that it probably didn't happen."

"Close, but no.
Lorne Greene did have his nipple bitten off, but it wasn't by an angry alligator, it was during a particularly vicious spat on the set of Bonanza, and Pernell Roberts was the guilty party accused of nipping off the Greene nipple. No one quite knows what the spat was about, but it's believed to have involved Roberts toupee and an unappreciated game of 'hair Frisbee.'"

And now more useless information from "The Book of Useless Information."
-Deer cannot eat hay. They do like to eat marijuana.
-In 1978, more deer were killed by Connecticut automobile drivers than by Connecticut hunters
-Moose have very poor vision. Some have even tried to mate with cars.
-Lions sleep up to 20 hours a day
-Between 1902 and 1907, the same tiger killed 436 people in India.

And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world's longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.

"Six two and even, over and out."

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Msybe
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER