" . . . . and now, no-nonsense Times Square foot cop . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1
Dave notices his shirt sleeve peeking out from under his jacket. Dave then pulls up his jacket sleeves and says he hopes this style becomes popular: The Short-Sleeved Suit Jacket.

To kill time, Dave flips a pencil and in his attempt to catch it without looking, the pencil jumps into his coffee mug. That's a first. An excited Dave is amazed and excitedly satisfied at this once-in-a-lifetime achievement. I know it's a once-in-a-lifetime because he tried to duplicate the feat the rest of the night without luck. We watch the pencil flip into the mug in slow motion to truly appreciate what we had just seen. Says an amazed Dave; "And you're telling me the ghost of Ed Sullivan isn't with us?"

The 34th Daytime Emmy Awards aired earlier tonight on CBS and as always it was jam-packed with entertainment.
Announce:

"Friday on CBS, it's the 34th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards. Don't miss the excitement as we honor daytime's best shows, hottest stars, and those who are no longer with us . . . (shot of Regis: "1931-2007"). The 34th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards: Friday on CBS.

For the past few weeks we have been highlighting passages from Ronald Reagan's personal diaries. Here is tonight's entry.
Announce:

"March 19, 1983: I asked the Pentagon to build a missile defense system to protect the United States from a nuclear attack. Once that was settled, I next asked them to build me a taco bar for the Oval Office. This has been an excerpt from the 'Reagan Diaries.'"

"Due to a stomach illness at the G-8 Summit, President Bush was forced to meet with the French President in Mr. Bush's bedroom. This is the first time a U.S. President has met a foreign leader in his bedroom since Bill Clinton and Queen Elizabeth." (photo of Bill Clinton and Queen Elizabeth in bed together) "Bubba --- still a dawg."

ACT 2
FUN FACTS - The FBMI is now working under summer hours.
-EARTHWORMS HAVE 5 HEARTS
-THERE ARE 158 VERSES IN THE GREEK NATIONAL ANTHEM
-THE AVERAGE AMERICAN EATS 35,000 COOKIES IN HIS OR HER LIFETIME
-THE 1980 ERUPTION OF MT. ST. HELENS WAS THE RESULT OF LOCAL PUNKS PLAYING WITH FIRECRACKERS
-THE EARLIEST ROCKING CHAIRS ONLY ROCKED FORWARD
-THANKS TO A PROMOTIONAL DEAL, STARTING NEXT YEAR MOUNTAIN TIME WILL BE RENAMED "MOUNTAIN DEW TIME"
-ACCORDING TO SOUP ENTHUSIASTS, CAMPBELL'S ALPHABET SOUP WAS NEVER AS GOOD AFTER THE 1974 CHANGEOVER FROM LOWERCASE TO UPPERCASE
-THOMAS JEFFERSON ADMITTED HE WROTE THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE TO IMPRESS CHICKS
-THE ORIGINAL EPISODE OF THE SITUATION COMEDY "ONE DAY AT A TIME" WAS 24-HOURS LONG
-THE OPERATORS OF THE PARTICLE ACCELERATOR AT STANFORD ARE ALSO LICENSED TO OPERATE CARNIVAL RIDES
-2 OUT OF 3 AMERICANS HAVE ADMITTED TO USING VASELINE INTENSIVE CARE LOTION AS A MAYONNAISE SUBSTITUTE
-LARRY THE CABLE GUY HAS AN ILLEGAL CABLE HOOK-UP
-LOSE WEIGHT NOW - ASK ME HOW
-WHOOPI GOLDBERG'S REAL NAME IS WHOOPI GOLDMAN
-BLACK & DECKER HAS SPENT MORE THAN $30 MILLION TRYING TO MAKE AN APPLIANCE THAT MAKES BREAD OUT OF TOAST
-FROM JUNE THROUGH AUGUST, WEATHER PERMITTING, TEXAS HOLDS ITS LETHAL INJECTIONS OUTDOORS
-WHILE TOURING JAPAN WITH HIS ENVIRONMENTAL PRESENTATION, AL GORE ALSO DID SOME SUMO WRESTLING
-IF YOU MAKE A COW LAUGH HARD ENOUGH, MILK WILL COME OUT OF ITS NOSE
-TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES, NEW MEXICO IS ONE OF TWO UNITED STATES TOWNS NAMED AFTER A GAME SHOW. THE OTHER IS PASSWORD, NEVADA
-SHAKESPEARE COINED DOZENS OF WORDS, INCLUDING "SHOPASAURUS" AND "BRIDEZILLA"
-BY 2025, ZOOLOGISTS BELIEVE THAT THE KANGAROO WILL HAVE AN ADDITIONAL POUCH FOR HIS I-POD
-ONCE DUE TO A SHORTAGE OF GIANT PLASTIC LETTERS, STING WAS BILLED ON A MARQUEE AS "STINK"
-ALTHOUGH THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A WOMAN PRESIDENT, GROVER CLEVELAND AND HERBERT HOOVER WERE BOTH QUITE EFFEMINATE
-ROSIE O'DONNELL ONCE GOT IN A FEUD WITH HERSELF

And dems da facks

ACT 3
MICHAEL MOORE: Dave thanks Michael for dressing up for the occasion. Michael was last here to promote "Fahrenheit 911" which turned out to make more money than any other documentary. Does making money like that and being a success get in his way of being a muckraker? Michael says now that he is known, it has made it more difficult to get into places. People are more wary of him. What is our image overseas? It has been greatly damaged from this administration. Michael says people want to like us, they like our ways, but need a reason to like us once again. A lot of harm has been done during the Bush Administration.

Michael's new film, "Sicko," has to do with our healthcare system. Michael's position is that our healthcare, as great it is, isn't for everyone. It's great for people who can get to it but for many it is not within their grasp. There are nearly 50 million Americans without healthcare. Michael says a big problem with today's hospitals is the insurance companies that run the hospitals. Michael gives examples of how the lack of the right insurance or the lack of any insurance has resulted in tragic results. He has traveled to other countries to find out how THEY do it, how the government ensures healthcare to all. He says that in Canada they have a life expectancy of 3 years longer than the U.S., much because of the better healthcare for all. The same is true with Cuba.
In the film, he shows how some of the 911 rescue workers can't get the help then need for their respiratory problems they now suffer. At Guantanamo Bay, the Al Qaeda "evil doers" get full free healthcare. They get free dentistry, free colonoscopies, free nutritional advice, etc. Michael decided to take these 911 rescue workers down to Guantanamo Bay to see if he could get them the same health treatment the detainees are getting for free. It sounded like a good idea but those in charge did not. The Bush Administration is now after Michael for traveling to and doing business with Cuba. We see a clip from Michael Moore's "Sicko" of a guy who chopped off the ends of two of his fingers in an accident. He went to the hospital. He was given a deal; the hospital could reattach the tip of his middle finger for $60,000 or the tip of his ring finger for $12,000. He took the ring finger. "Sicko" - it opens June 29th.

ACT 4
Just before getting into Will It Float, Dave is interrupted. A strapping young man enters carrying a trophy. He orates: "Congratulations, Dave. You amazing pencil flip earlier in the program did not go unnoticed. I'm here to present you with this award in honor of your achievement. You are a great man, David Letterman." The gentleman presents the trophy to Dave and exits. Paul does not know who that was. Dave has no idea, either.

ACT 5
Announce: "And now it's time to reveal 'Late Show's Father of the Year.'
Congratulations to Late Show staffer . . . (out of focus appears to be Dave, but changes to film coordinator Rick Scheckman) . . . Rick Scheckman! Way to go, Shecky! This has been 'Late Show's Father of the Year.' Don't change that channel, more craps a comin'."

ACT 6
WILL IT FLOAT: Tonight's item: a can of Kwik-Lite Charcoal Lighter Fluid. Dave and Paul say it will float. The Late Show models drop the charcoal lighter fluid in the Will It Float tank and it . . . . . FLOATS!

ACT 7
BILL BURR: He will be performing at Zanies Comedy Club in Nashville, Tennessee June 21st - 24th.
-street fairs - girlfriend likes earrings - nice? No, if they were nice they'd be in a store. -Driving - 2 degrees difference between a nice leisurely drive down a crowded street and being on the cover of Newsweek. Move your hands just two degrees and you'd have scores of people lying run-over on the sidewalk.
-Think about punching someone's tray of muffins on display at a street fair. Bill wants to punch the muffins. Just imagining it makes Bill laugh. But what happens if his girlfriend asks, "What are you laughing at?" She did, so Bill tried to explain. How can you tell someone that you are laughing because you're imagining yourself punching a woman's muffins.

And that was our show for Friday, June 15, 2007.



My favorite movie theater in Suffern, New York announced the special 5-week series of World Cinema Classics at the Lafayette Theater.
FIVE ESSENTIALS FROM THE JANUS FILM COLLECTION
In conjunction with the Rivertown Film Society, the Lafayette Theatre is proud to present a five week series of classic foreign language films on Saturday mornings at 11:00am, starting on June 30th. Doors open at 10:30am, all tickets $6.00.
The schedule:
June 30 - TOKYO STORY, directed by Yasujiro Ozu
July 7 - THE 400 BLOWS, directed by Francois Truffaut, presented in Dyaliscope
July 14 - LA STRADA, directed by Federico Fellini
July 21 - BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, directed by Jean Cocteau
July 28 - THE SEVENTH SEAL, directed by Ingmar Bergman

I'm thinking of going to see La Strada just so I can say when describing a chaotic event, "It was like a Fellini movie" and sort of know what I'm talking about. Remember when everybody was using that line? It seemed at least once a week someone on the show would say, "It was crazy. It was like a Fellini movie." My response was always the same, "Really? Name two."

I know I'm supposed to get my lawnmower blade sharpened every year, but I don't. Does anybody really get their blade sharpened? My guess is it's around 5%. Most Americans would rather simply buy a new mower.

People are trying to bring back and relive this, the 40th Anniversary of 1967's "Summer of Love." They're trying to modernize it by calling it "The Summer of Canoodling." It doesn't have the same ring to it.

Will this be the summer I decide to completely shave my head? No.

Next week's previously viewed programs:
MONDAY: From May 14, 2007; #2753 - Mike Myers; America Ferrera, and a guy on a pogo stick jumps over a car.
TUESDAY: From February 8, 2007; #2701 - Jack Hanna; Katherine Heigl; Patty Griffin; and a top ten with Christina Aguilera
WEDNESDAY: From June 4, 2007; #2763 - Matt Damon; Dario Franchetti; and Bright Eyes
THURSDAY: From July 27, 2006; #2598 - Johnny Depp; and The Spinners.
FRIDAY: From May 22, 2007; #2759 - Charles Barkley; Seth Rogan; and Michael Martin Murphey.

Check the Wahoo Archives and make your plans accordingly.

And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world's longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
It's her birthday on Tuesday the 19th, it's Nancy Spitz.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER