ACT 1
Once again to recap: Dave got a banged-up nose while roughhousing with young Harry. His septum became deviated. He went to his nose guy to have it . . . . viated. That was Monday night. Tuesday, Dave spent the whole day trying to stop the bleeding and the pain was tremendous. He went back to the doc again for a realignment, and now everything is fine.

All night long, our good friend Biff Henderson will be riding high about the Ed Sullivan Theater in the Spirit of Goodyear blimp.

The Spirit of Goodyear:
-based in Akron, Ohio
-192 feet long, 55 feet in diameter, 60 feet high
-Cruising speed: 35 mph
-Top speed: 55 mph
-Altitude: 1,000 - 1,500 feet
The Pilot: Greg Popenhouse
Co-Pilot: Mark Keitel

We take a look at the blimp from the ground up. It's a big foggy, as Paul plays "Stairway to Heaven." Someone in the shack pointed out the song was appropriate because the blimp was high above, as if in heaven. I pointed out the song was appropriate because it was a Led Zeppelin song . . . Zeppelin.
We talk a bit to Biff. We look outside the blimp to look for the Ed Sullivan Theater.
There we finally find the Late Show banner sitting atop our roof. Biff has been in the blimp for about 6 hours, which Dave finds to be quite amusing. He asks Biff, "Is it possible to spend too much time in a blimp? How much is too much time in a blimp?" Biff responds, "I've already done that."

Last summer, Oprah and her best friend Gayle King went on a cross country road trip. It looked like a lot of fun so Dave and Paul did the same just a few weeks ago. We take a look at the first installment of "Dave & Paul's Road Trip."
Day 1 - Ohio - Paul is driving; Dave is in the passenger seat on his cell phone. We hear Dave playfully repeating into the phone, "I love you. I love you. Daddy really really loves you. I love you. Bye bye. I love you. I love you." This continues for a good while. Dave finally hangs up. Paul, knowing how a dad can miss his kids, asks, "Your son?" Dave answers, "No. My kitties. My kitties."

Dave asks, "Have you seen this . . . I have a feeling you have." This gets a big response from the audience. Why? Well . . . . we had to do some things over and this was one of those things. We were getting some bad audio from the blimp.

Microsoft has announced plans to develop a video game about global warming. It's still in the early stages but Dave has a copy of the prototype. It's called, "Al Gore's Sweat Bucket 360." We take a look at this new, exciting, and challenging game.
We see a cartoon Al Gore figure. Sweat drips from his pits, wrists, and neck. You have to maneuver the sweat bucket left and right to catch the sweat drop before it falls to the ground. Should be a big hit this Christmas.

Have you been following this story about President Bush having his watch swiped while in Albania? The story is getting bigger and bigger. We take a look at this announcement.
Announcer:

"There are reports that President Bush had his watch stolen in Albania. So you Albanians think you're tough?" (photo of Cheney with shot gun) "Just try taking my bling, britches! Dick Cheney --- locked and loaded."

Another installment of Dave & Paul's Road Trip.
Minnesota - Day 7: Dave is driving. He pulls over to pick up a hitchhiker. A guy who looks surprisingly like Johnny Dark gets in. After some small talk, he recognizes that he's in the car with David Letterman and Paul Shaffer. The jubilant hitchhiker exclaims, "Man, I always knew you were two were gay!"

TOP TEN: Signs Paris Hilton Has Found God
8. New catchphrase? "That's Holy!"
6. Spent the last 10 hours trying to turn water into Cosmopolitans
3. Now, only time she gets on her knees is to pray.

And now the final installment of "Dave & Paul's Road Trip."
Day 12 - Nevada: Dave is driving. Paul is having a heck of a time folding up a map. He asks Dave to turn on the GPS or GSP or whatever that computer/satellite thing everyone is getting for their dashboard to point them in the right direction. Dave clicks it on. The directions are heard . . . in Spanish. Paul is mad at Dave for going to the cheap Mexican rental car place. Expletives are exchanged.

Back live to Dave, who comments that he was very impressed with how green Nevada appeared to be in the clip. I laughed. And I needed to laugh. We had 4 of these "Dave & Paul's Road Trip" scenes. The one I was in wasn't used.

ACT 3
BEAR GRYLLS: He's on the Discovery Channel's "Man vs. Wild." He gets dropped off in the middle of nowhere and has to use his wits to survive. I think I saw a little of his show about a week ago. He was all "alone" in some desert and found a bug to eat. He then set a trap to catch a tiny squirrel or something and then supped on that. Hey, if it gets him on TV, good for him. But it was really interesting how he was able to make even the most dire of situations survivable. But could he survive an 8:00 AM commute into Manhattan every day? That's the question, although he is a Brit and I hear London is worse when it comes to traffic. Now there's a show for you --- a LIVE reality show of a guy trying to get to work on time driving into the city from the suburbs during the morning rush. I'd watch that. I could relate to that more than I could being stranded in the Gobi. I think I'm on to something. Instead of CNN or FOX or MSNBC showing a LIVE broadcast of a radio show in the morning, like Imus, have a reality show of a guy commuting to the city while listening to Imus. DAMN! I should be in programming!

In one episode of "Man vs. Wild," Bear caught a fish and while it was still flopping in his hands, he took a bite out of it. Yes, he was that hungry. But couldn't the camera crew simply share their boxed lunch with him?
"Man vs. Wild" - the 2nd season begins this Friday at 9:00 P.M. on the Discovery Channel. It is repeated throughout the week.

ACT 4
It's our old friend; the President and CEO of 7-Eleven, Mr. Jim Keyes.
The CEO enters and addresses the audience from center stage.
Keyes: "Great to be back, folks! Well, it's been almost a year since last July11th --- 7-11 --- when we kicked off our first promotion! And what a year it's been: over 40 million dollars worth of food and prizes given away thanks to that man right there, David Letterman!"
Shot of Dave --- Keyes leads the applause.
"For summer, we've got our greatest promotion, yet. All this month, go into any participating 7-Eleven and say ‘Dave and grilling make summer thrilling.' You'll receive two grilled hot dogs with all the fixins, and a Big Gulp, free! Now look for the 12-digit code on your Big Gulp cup! Enter your code at 7-Eleven.com to see if you've won our Grand Prize: a Weber Summit S-65- grill, plus a trip for four to the Midsummer Classic, the Major League Baseball All-Star Game, July 10th in San Francisco, where you'll throw out the first pitch! Wow! Dave, I'd have to say your latest promotion a home run! Right, folks?
So make this summer a 7-Eleven summer! Thanks again, Dave. We'll see you all at 7-Eleven."
The CEO exits.
A doubting Paul asks, "Dave, was that really the President of 7-Eleven?" Dave checks his cards. He is unsure.

ACT 5
It's New York City as seen from the Spirit of Goodyear blimp.

ACT 6
JEREMY PIVEN: From HBO's "Entourage," Sunday nights at 10:00 PM. Jeremy tells a story of having worked all day on "Entourage" on one of the hottest days of the year. He was near dehydration. He also had a fundraiser to attend afterwards. He was to play tennis . . . with Andre Agassi. Jeremy wanted to drop out but couldn't think of a good enough excuse to get out of it. Apparently, dehydration didn't quite make it. So he went to the event. And Jeremy doesn't know how to play tennis. Luckily, a tennis pro gave him a quick lesson in the bathroom. Using a trick I frequently use, Jeremy realized he wasn't up to the task so he decided to try to add some humor to what he was asked to do. Instead of trying to volley back and forth, Jeremy thought it would be easier to play up by the net. He could take advantage of his quick lateral movement he toned while playing football linebacker in high school. And to add some funniness to his inept play, Jeremy did some kind of heel click, jump, and twist.
Unfortunately while twisting, his body stayed that way. It got stuck. He looked like the letter S. He had to be carried off the court. Happy ending . . . Jeremy got some good pain pills for his troubles.

ACT 7
ELVIS PERKINS - with his band, "Dearland." From their new album, "Ash Wednesday," Elvis Perkins and Dearland performed "While You Were Sleeping." The song began with only Elvis on stage. One by one, the rest of the band walked in, picked up their instruments, and began to play. It was an interesting gimmick that sort of worked for me.

And that was our show for Wednesday, June 13, 2007.



I received a free Weber Charcoal Grilling cookbook the other day from the Weber people. I don't know if it was their intention but after leafing through the book, I decided to get a Weber Charcoal Grill. I have a gas grill at home but looking at the juicy meats and veggies in the cookbook prepared on a charcoal grill over briquettes, man, I knew I just had to get me one. I'll be cooking something up this weekend on the new grill. Is there a better summer smell than hot coals on the bar-b?

The clouds were threatening all day in the New York area. What would have happened if thunderstorms arrived and Biff was up in the blimp? Well, if a storm was coming, Biff in the blimp would have been canceled. What would we have done to fill it? I suggested that Dave would tell what we had planned but unfortunately the blimp ride had to be canceled due to the weather. So, instead of views of Manhattan from the blimp, we would show photos of Manhattan from Google maps. We would pretend to be fascinated. It's always good to leave an escape route.

I was listening to the sports radio the other day. HEY! Come on back! I'm not going to be talking about sports! This will be quick. So the NBA Orlando Magic basketball team hired college basketball champion coach Billy Donovan to coach their team next year. Donovan won consecutive championships for the Florida Gators. When it was announced that Billy Donovan had signed, 200 season tickets to the Orlando Magic were sold. And then, Billy Donovan changed his mind. He wanted out of his newly-signed contract. He wanted to go back to the Florida Gators. After some hand-wringing, Orlando released Donovan from his contract and allowed him to return to Gator-land. And those 200 fans who signed up for season tickets? They will be given a refund if so desired. The guy on the radio complained that Donovan dropping out this way cost the Magic a lot of money. The 200 fans who signed up for season tickets will get their refund. But . . . I don't see it the Magic losing money on this. Sure, it was a very unprofessional act by Donovan, but did the Magic lose money? I think the money gained by the 200 additional season ticket holders would not cover the salary Billy Donovan would be paid. I don't think Orlando lost money on this at all.

When I started writing the above about Billy Donovan and the Orlando Magic, I thought I had something. By the time I got to the end, I realized it was nothing. Sorry.

Coming soon: Rock Wilk's solo CD, "Broke Wide Open." Mark your calendars: July 30th. Check it out at www.wilkmusic.com.

It's Flag Day on Thursday. Don't forget to fly your flag.

And now, even more useless information from "The Ultimate Book of Useless Information" by Neil Botham & The Useless Information Society.
-in the last three thousand years, no new animals have been domesticated
-a bird has to fly at a minimum speed of eleven miles per hour to be able to keep itself aloft
-baby robins eat fourteen feet of earthworms a day (WHAT! Can that be true?)
-an ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain
-the longest recorded flight of a chicken was thirteen seconds

And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world's longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
He's . . . . . 46 years old today! From Johnson City, New York, it's Tim McIntee.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER