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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Craig Ferguson; Dave Della Terza; and Avril Lavigne. PLUS: The Pope’s 80th Birthday; John Edwards’ Haircut; Dick Cheney on “Face the Nation”; A Day in the Life of the Presidential Campaign; and a Top Ten List.
“. . . and now, filling in for Chita Rivera . . . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1 The Pope celebrated his 80th birthday yesterday. It was a huge milestone and the Pope made the most of it. We see a clip of his morning mass.
It’s the Pope entering making his entrance to mass. The music in the cathedral: “Y’all Ready For This!” like you hear before an NBA basketball game.
Did you see Dick Cheney on “Face the Nation” last Sunday. What he said saw surprising. Not shocking, but it was surprising.
“I have / had / heart attacks in Casablanca / Algiers / Iraq / New York / Washington / Jakarta / Pakistan / Afghanistan / Bali / and Indonesia.”
Dave picks up the phone and says, “Yeah, I don’t think we’re going to need the bonded courier.” The audience loudly responds positively and negatively. I didn’t get the reference but sensed it was something from the Pre-Show Q&A. 5 minutes before the show many of us are still scrambling to get things done. You probably think by this time of the day we are sitting back with our feet up snacking on chips and diet Shasta. Oh no, my friend. It’s still busy busy time for us.
Dave then explains what he meant by the “bonded courier” line. During the Pre-Show Q&A, Dave said tonight’s show was so good that various broadcast museums would want a copy of it and we were asked to send it out by bonded courier. Apparently, that won’t be necessary tonight.
John Edwards constantly has to battle accusations that he’s a pretty boy. Well, Dave just learned some interesting news regarding his vanity. We take a look at a clip.
Announcer: “It was revealed that John Edwards spent $400 on his hair cut. If you want a politician who practices real fiscal discipline, you might like to know that Dennis Kucinich cuts his own hair. Dennis Kucinich: Super Guy. Super Cut!”
ACT 2
Coming back from the commercial, we see our Executive Producer crawling around the backdrop behind Dave in search for something. Dave says it is the woman from the courier service. Actually, Dave had tossed the opening billboard card away by accident which listed the night’s guests and what they were promoting. Meanwhile, I was busy typing up another one. We almost bumped into each other as I ran my copy out to her and she was returning to her perch.
And during my typing of another opening billboard card, the Stangels decide to use me as a courier guy for later in the show. A quick script is written, phone calls are made, and I head over to wardrobe. I missed the rest of the show.
A Day In The Life of the Presidential Campaign 8:00 AM: (I missed this one --- something about Barack Obama raising a lot of money by calling into a Morning Zoo radio show with the phrase with pays) 9:30 AM: (photos of John Edwards and Mitt Romney) In a rural Iowa drug store, John Edwards and Mitt Romney fight for the last can of hairspray
throws blue card – crash SFX; followed by They Call it Wild Flower 10:00 AM: Mike Huckabee announces formation of a blue ribbon panel to prove he is actually running for President Noon: To be more competitive with Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton claims to be one-quarter African-American and one-eighth male. 1:30 PM: Al Gore wins endorsement of both Ben and Jerry.
As they say in the business, Al has tubbed up. 3:00 PM: John Kerry finally finishes speech he started in 2004 3:15 PM: Osama gets several fundraising checks in the mail intended for Obama 6:15 PM: Christopher Dodd announces new campaign slogan: “Isn’t it time for a President with a gigantic head?” 8:00 PM: To appeal to young voters, Kucinich decides to make an appearance on “American Idol” – cut to clip of Dennis Kucinich singing “16 Tons” 9:00 PM: John McCain changes name of campaign bus from “Straight Talk Express” to “The Booty Wagon”
ACT 3
We learned during the break that Mitt Romney’s actual name is Willard Mitt Romney. His middle name “Mitt” TOP TEN: Ways Pope Benedict XVI Celebrated his 80th Birthday.
- Yesterday was the Pope’s birthday – April 16th
- He was born in 1927
- His birthname: Joseph Ratzinger
Dave says, “Joseph Ratzinger . . . Wasn’t he the mailman on ‘Cheers’? So this guy’s got quite a resume.” Ahhh, I like when my bit of information on the blue card elicits a joke from Dave. I went back and forth on whether to include his birthname, Joseph Ratzinger, and since it was easy to pronounce I decided to add it. 10. Enjoyed Carvel’s delicious “Fudgy the Apostle” cake. 7. Spent a quite evening alone with his hat.
CRAIG FERGUSON: I was in wardrobe waiting for whatever a guy who works for a courier would wear. No one seemed to know. I was put into some khakis, a white shirt, a clip-on tie, and a windbreaker with patches on the shoulders for a security firm. I guess that’s what courier would wear. We figured if we didn’t know, then you wouldn’t know. I got the following beats from a one staffer; the descriptions I got from someone else’s pre-show notes.
- Craig Ferguson – he’s the host of the Late Late Show
- His book, now in paperback, is entitled, “Between the Bridge and the River.”
- in NYC doing standup
- He’s okay with all the rain – he’s from Scotland – it seemed more like a summer shower.
- performing all over the country -- drove around country – whenever needs gas, forces himself to drive at least 5 miles off interstate to get a tiny sense of that part of the country – he discovered catfish doing this
- catfish is ugly
- becoming u.s. citizen – how many Americans would pass the citizenship test? Craig thinks most in the Ed Sullivan Theater would flunk
- The Scottish don’t care if he leaves
- son likes magic/craig doesn’t – it’s natural to do what your father doesn’t likes
- American Idol - likes how Sanjaya doesn’t know words
- cooking segments on the Late Late Show –--- ate mini-hamburgers made by Wolfgang Puck –--- learned that eating mini-hamburgers make your hands looks huge!
ACT 4 DAVID DELLA TERZA: he created the website, VoteForTheWorst.com.
- how the website got started
- when website picked up steam –Season 4 with Scott Sabol
- 10 million hits to site
- 2 years ago FOX pressured the site
- would love to see Sanjaya win
- Sanjaya won’t get recording contract unless he wins
- Howard Stern wants to help bring down “American Idol”
I heard this guy was real good. I’ll be watching this eventually somewhere. I would like to find out how he got from “there” to “here” simply by posting something on his website.
ACT 5
“Here are the answers to yesterday’s Late Show Soduko Puzzle”
(see a completed Soduko puzzle from yesterday)
“Did you get it? Remember, you have to be in it to win it.
We’ll be right back.”
ACT 6
Coming back from commercial, we see a guy in a windbreaker over a shirt and tie enter and stand beside Dave. He waits for Dave to stop chattering and says, “Hi, I’m from Tri-State Courier. Told to pick a video tape.” Dave hems, haws, and apologetically says, “Sorry, we won’t be needing you today.”
The courier guy exits.
AVRIL LAVIGNE: From her CD, “The Best Damn Thing,” Avril performed “Girlfriend.”
She stays and chats with Dave before we close the show. She’s a newlywed; celebrated with a traditional wedding followed by a reception with a more gothic theme.
And that was show for Tuesday April 17, 2007.
So it was decided early in the show that I would come out as a courier guy to pick up the video tape of the night’s show. I went to wardrobe. While I was there, the idea was pitched to Dave during a commercial break. He gave the thumbs up. The first thing needed to be decided was what I would wear. Sue Hum and the wardrobe team came up with my outfit. Photos were taken to show the Stangels for their OK. I went downstairs offstage and got miked up. Would I need a briefcase for the video tape? Would I need an envelope? It was decided I wouldn’t need anything. How about the security patches on my shoulders? Uhh, fine. No one would notice. No bid deal. Where will I enter? Avril Lavigne and her band will be setting up. I can’t walk across the stage. It’s decided I would enter from the skyline.
I meet up with a stage manager and we go downstairs under the theater over to the other side of the stage. I am now backstage just behind Dave’s left shoulder. I am told Dave has given the OK for the bit but my lines were changed. It is changed from “Hi, I’m from Empire Bonded Courier” to “Hi, I’m from Tri-State Couriers. Told to pick a video tape.” I practice my lines more times than I think I need, having learned the hard way that you can’t practice enough. Where will I stand when I approach Dave? To his left? To his right? It’s getting late. We are in the commercial break right before my appearance. The stage manager I am with tells me to take a look at where Biff is standing. That is where I will stand. My last instructions are to exit the way I came. Paul and the band begin their finish. The stage manager taps me on my shoulder to go out. I walk from behind Dave and approach. He is in conversation with someone. I decide to hold my line until he notices me. I deliver my line; surprised at what sounds like a big response. I wonder if my second line got buried. I’ve also learned the hard way that if you wait for the audience to quiet down to deliver your line, you’ve waited too long. You have to speak over them if necessary. Don’t delay. And then afterwards I went to Sardi’s.
Hey, I just watched my performance on the TV. It’s almost 12:30 AM. It’s just how I described it. But when did I get so bald? When did that happen? I could have really used some powder.
And in the morning I told the girls I shared a stage with Avril Lavigne.
Got a problem with the drink? With the cocaine? With gambling? Sex? Food? Check out the Steppin’ Out website at www.steppinoutradio.com. Sign up for the free newsletter.
This has been a public service announcement from the Wahoo Gazette . . . and a free plug for my wife Denise’s radio program.
On my TV if I want to get close captioning in Spanish, I can do it. It’s easy. All I have to do is go to close captioning on my remote and then click on “Spanish.” I get Spanish close captioning for English speaking programs. And then I thought, “Hey, I want my ‘Telemundo’ is English!” Well, how about it? I want the Spanish language stations in English?
First impression for the Kentucky Derby: My eye, for no apparent reason, keeps going to the name Dominican. It’s listed at 17-1 right now.
I watched The Wonder Years on the ION Television channel last night. In this episode, Kevin was unsure on how to act upon his crush with Winnie.
And now it’s time for, “Another One of My Ideas That Will Not Be Used By The Show”.
For sale on our website: Two Late Show bumper stickers --- take your pick ---
“I Hate Will It Float”
“I Love Will It Float”
This concludes another installment of “Another One of My Ideas That Will Not Be Used By The Show”
And now more useless information from “The Book of Useless Information.”
- A hamlet is a village without a church; a town is not a city until it has cathedral
- Chevrolet tried marketing a Chevrolet Nova in Spanish-speaking countries --- but it didn’t sell well because “no va” means “doesn’t go” in Spanish.
- Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61%
- A can of Diet Coke will float in water, while a can of regular Coke sinks.
- Beer foam will go down if you lick your finger and then stick it in the beer
And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Carrolton, Georgia, it’s Tina Barr
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Craig Ferguson; Dave Della Terza; and Avril Lavigne. PLUS: The Pope’s 80th Birthday; John Edwards’ Haircut; Dick Cheney on “Face the Nation”; A Day in the Life of the Presidential Campaign; and a Top Ten List.
“. . . and now, filling in for Chita Rivera . . . . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1 The Pope celebrated his 80th birthday yesterday. It was a huge milestone and the Pope made the most of it. We see a clip of his morning mass.
It’s the Pope entering making his entrance to mass. The music in the cathedral: “Y’all Ready For This!” like you hear before an NBA basketball game.
Did you see Dick Cheney on “Face the Nation” last Sunday. What he said saw surprising. Not shocking, but it was surprising.
“I have / had / heart attacks in Casablanca / Algiers / Iraq / New York / Washington / Jakarta / Pakistan / Afghanistan / Bali / and Indonesia.”
Dave picks up the phone and says, “Yeah, I don’t think we’re going to need the bonded courier.” The audience loudly responds positively and negatively. I didn’t get the reference but sensed it was something from the Pre-Show Q&A. 5 minutes before the show many of us are still scrambling to get things done. You probably think by this time of the day we are sitting back with our feet up snacking on chips and diet Shasta. Oh no, my friend. It’s still busy busy time for us.
Dave then explains what he meant by the “bonded courier” line. During the Pre-Show Q&A, Dave said tonight’s show was so good that various broadcast museums would want a copy of it and we were asked to send it out by bonded courier. Apparently, that won’t be necessary tonight.
John Edwards constantly has to battle accusations that he’s a pretty boy. Well, Dave just learned some interesting news regarding his vanity. We take a look at a clip.
Announcer: “It was revealed that John Edwards spent $400 on his hair cut. If you want a politician who practices real fiscal discipline, you might like to know that Dennis Kucinich cuts his own hair. Dennis Kucinich: Super Guy. Super Cut!”
ACT 2
Coming back from the commercial, we see our Executive Producer crawling around the backdrop behind Dave in search for something. Dave says it is the woman from the courier service. Actually, Dave had tossed the opening billboard card away by accident which listed the night’s guests and what they were promoting. Meanwhile, I was busy typing up another one. We almost bumped into each other as I ran my copy out to her and she was returning to her perch.
And during my typing of another opening billboard card, the Stangels decide to use me as a courier guy for later in the show. A quick script is written, phone calls are made, and I head over to wardrobe. I missed the rest of the show.
A Day In The Life of the Presidential Campaign 8:00 AM: (I missed this one --- something about Barack Obama raising a lot of money by calling into a Morning Zoo radio show with the phrase with pays) 9:30 AM: (photos of John Edwards and Mitt Romney) In a rural Iowa drug store, John Edwards and Mitt Romney fight for the last can of hairspray
throws blue card – crash SFX; followed by They Call it Wild Flower 10:00 AM: Mike Huckabee announces formation of a blue ribbon panel to prove he is actually running for President Noon: To be more competitive with Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton claims to be one-quarter African-American and one-eighth male. 1:30 PM: Al Gore wins endorsement of both Ben and Jerry.
As they say in the business, Al has tubbed up. 3:00 PM: John Kerry finally finishes speech he started in 2004 3:15 PM: Osama gets several fundraising checks in the mail intended for Obama 6:15 PM: Christopher Dodd announces new campaign slogan: “Isn’t it time for a President with a gigantic head?” 8:00 PM: To appeal to young voters, Kucinich decides to make an appearance on “American Idol” – cut to clip of Dennis Kucinich singing “16 Tons” 9:00 PM: John McCain changes name of campaign bus from “Straight Talk Express” to “The Booty Wagon”
ACT 3
We learned during the break that Mitt Romney’s actual name is Willard Mitt Romney. His middle name “Mitt” TOP TEN: Ways Pope Benedict XVI Celebrated his 80th Birthday.
- Yesterday was the Pope’s birthday – April 16th
- He was born in 1927
- His birthname: Joseph Ratzinger
Dave says, “Joseph Ratzinger . . . Wasn’t he the mailman on ‘Cheers’? So this guy’s got quite a resume.” Ahhh, I like when my bit of information on the blue card elicits a joke from Dave. I went back and forth on whether to include his birthname, Joseph Ratzinger, and since it was easy to pronounce I decided to add it. 10. Enjoyed Carvel’s delicious “Fudgy the Apostle” cake. 7. Spent a quite evening alone with his hat.
CRAIG FERGUSON: I was in wardrobe waiting for whatever a guy who works for a courier would wear. No one seemed to know. I was put into some khakis, a white shirt, a clip-on tie, and a windbreaker with patches on the shoulders for a security firm. I guess that’s what courier would wear. We figured if we didn’t know, then you wouldn’t know. I got the following beats from a one staffer; the descriptions I got from someone else’s pre-show notes.
- Craig Ferguson – he’s the host of the Late Late Show
- His book, now in paperback, is entitled, “Between the Bridge and the River.”
- in NYC doing standup
- He’s okay with all the rain – he’s from Scotland – it seemed more like a summer shower.
- performing all over the country -- drove around country – whenever needs gas, forces himself to drive at least 5 miles off interstate to get a tiny sense of that part of the country – he discovered catfish doing this
- catfish is ugly
- becoming u.s. citizen – how many Americans would pass the citizenship test? Craig thinks most in the Ed Sullivan Theater would flunk
- The Scottish don’t care if he leaves
- son likes magic/craig doesn’t – it’s natural to do what your father doesn’t likes
- American Idol - likes how Sanjaya doesn’t know words
- cooking segments on the Late Late Show –--- ate mini-hamburgers made by Wolfgang Puck –--- learned that eating mini-hamburgers make your hands looks huge!
ACT 4 DAVID DELLA TERZA: he created the website, VoteForTheWorst.com.
- how the website got started
- when website picked up steam –Season 4 with Scott Sabol
- 10 million hits to site
- 2 years ago FOX pressured the site
- would love to see Sanjaya win
- Sanjaya won’t get recording contract unless he wins
- Howard Stern wants to help bring down “American Idol”
I heard this guy was real good. I’ll be watching this eventually somewhere. I would like to find out how he got from “there” to “here” simply by posting something on his website.
ACT 5
“Here are the answers to yesterday’s Late Show Soduko Puzzle”
(see a completed Soduko puzzle from yesterday)
“Did you get it? Remember, you have to be in it to win it.
We’ll be right back.”
ACT 6
Coming back from commercial, we see a guy in a windbreaker over a shirt and tie enter and stand beside Dave. He waits for Dave to stop chattering and says, “Hi, I’m from Tri-State Courier. Told to pick a video tape.” Dave hems, haws, and apologetically says, “Sorry, we won’t be needing you today.”
The courier guy exits.
AVRIL LAVIGNE: From her CD, “The Best Damn Thing,” Avril performed “Girlfriend.”
She stays and chats with Dave before we close the show. She’s a newlywed; celebrated with a traditional wedding followed by a reception with a more gothic theme.
And that was show for Tuesday April 17, 2007.
So it was decided early in the show that I would come out as a courier guy to pick up the video tape of the night’s show. I went to wardrobe. While I was there, the idea was pitched to Dave during a commercial break. He gave the thumbs up. The first thing needed to be decided was what I would wear. Sue Hum and the wardrobe team came up with my outfit. Photos were taken to show the Stangels for their OK. I went downstairs offstage and got miked up. Would I need a briefcase for the video tape? Would I need an envelope? It was decided I wouldn’t need anything. How about the security patches on my shoulders? Uhh, fine. No one would notice. No bid deal. Where will I enter? Avril Lavigne and her band will be setting up. I can’t walk across the stage. It’s decided I would enter from the skyline.
I meet up with a stage manager and we go downstairs under the theater over to the other side of the stage. I am now backstage just behind Dave’s left shoulder. I am told Dave has given the OK for the bit but my lines were changed. It is changed from “Hi, I’m from Empire Bonded Courier” to “Hi, I’m from Tri-State Couriers. Told to pick a video tape.” I practice my lines more times than I think I need, having learned the hard way that you can’t practice enough. Where will I stand when I approach Dave? To his left? To his right? It’s getting late. We are in the commercial break right before my appearance. The stage manager I am with tells me to take a look at where Biff is standing. That is where I will stand. My last instructions are to exit the way I came. Paul and the band begin their finish. The stage manager taps me on my shoulder to go out. I walk from behind Dave and approach. He is in conversation with someone. I decide to hold my line until he notices me. I deliver my line; surprised at what sounds like a big response. I wonder if my second line got buried. I’ve also learned the hard way that if you wait for the audience to quiet down to deliver your line, you’ve waited too long. You have to speak over them if necessary. Don’t delay. And then afterwards I went to Sardi’s.
Hey, I just watched my performance on the TV. It’s almost 12:30 AM. It’s just how I described it. But when did I get so bald? When did that happen? I could have really used some powder.
And in the morning I told the girls I shared a stage with Avril Lavigne.
Got a problem with the drink? With the cocaine? With gambling? Sex? Food? Check out the Steppin’ Out website at www.steppinoutradio.com. Sign up for the free newsletter.
This has been a public service announcement from the Wahoo Gazette . . . and a free plug for my wife Denise’s radio program.
On my TV if I want to get close captioning in Spanish, I can do it. It’s easy. All I have to do is go to close captioning on my remote and then click on “Spanish.” I get Spanish close captioning for English speaking programs. And then I thought, “Hey, I want my ‘Telemundo’ is English!” Well, how about it? I want the Spanish language stations in English?
First impression for the Kentucky Derby: My eye, for no apparent reason, keeps going to the name Dominican. It’s listed at 17-1 right now.
I watched The Wonder Years on the ION Television channel last night. In this episode, Kevin was unsure on how to act upon his crush with Winnie.
And now it’s time for, “Another One of My Ideas That Will Not Be Used By The Show”.
For sale on our website: Two Late Show bumper stickers --- take your pick ---
“I Hate Will It Float”
“I Love Will It Float”
This concludes another installment of “Another One of My Ideas That Will Not Be Used By The Show”
And now more useless information from “The Book of Useless Information.”
- A hamlet is a village without a church; a town is not a city until it has cathedral
- Chevrolet tried marketing a Chevrolet Nova in Spanish-speaking countries --- but it didn’t sell well because “no va” means “doesn’t go” in Spanish.
- Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61%
- A can of Diet Coke will float in water, while a can of regular Coke sinks.
- Beer foam will go down if you lick your finger and then stick it in the beer
And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Carrolton, Georgia, it’s Tina Barr
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Pope Benedict XVI's 80th Birthday • Dick Cheney: Heart Attacks Around the World • Politicians' Haircuts
ACT 2 • Day In the Life of the Presidential Campaign
ACT 3 • Top Ten Ways Pope Benedict the Sixteenth Celebrated His 80th Birthday Read now
