ACT 1
The whole city has gotten behind the excitement of Ventriloquist Week. Dave has nearly stunned when he saw this. Dave holds up a picture taken early this morning of the city's amazing support. The photo is of the Statue of Liberty . . . holding a Statue of Liberty dummy in her left hand. Nice job, New York City . . . and thank you

Dave is very proud of the tie he's wearing tonight. It's a gift from Peyton Manning . . . the very tie he wore during the Super Bowl!

LATE SHOW VALENTINE'S DAY CANDY CHALLENGE: That's our game tonight. Rupert runs out to find a contestant.

Dave shows off the cover of a special edition of Sports Illustrated. It features Peyton Manning, Super Bowl XLI MVP. Dave ganders at the photo and decides on his first question: "What's this thing?" Dave points to the little Indianapolis Colts fanny pack being worn by Peyton. Paul suggests that's where Peyton probably keeps his ties.

The 131st Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show wrapped up today at the Madison Square Garden. In case you missed it, we have some footage of one of the highlights.
We cut to a scene from Cujo, I think. The Saint Bernard chews up somebody. I'm sure he lost points for that.

And then seconds after that, our cameraman Dave Dorsett sticks his face in front of his own camera and delivers this message:
"Hi, honey. I just realized I forgot Valentine's Day again. I know this is the third year in a row, and I know you're just going to be a raving bitch about it when I get home, but at least I'm trying, so why don't you just climb out of my ass?" Dorsett returns to his side of the camera.
Whoa! Dave the host points out that Valentine's Day is tomorrow.
Dorsett: "Aw, crap!"

Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney announced his candidacy for president today. He's not as well known as many of the other candidates, so his campaign has released this message:
"Mitt Romney was born in 1947 and raised in Detroit, Michigan. In 1971, he moved to Massachusetts to start a new life for himself after serving three years in prison for burning down a Steak "N shake restaurant.
This has been 'Getting To Know Mitt Romney.'"

LATE SHOW VALENTINE'S DAY CANDY CHALLENGE: We go back to Rupert's and find him with Brian from Chicago. Ooh, too bad about the Bears. Brian isn't too pleased with his team's performance against the Colts. Dave says about the Bears, "It was like the J.V. showed up for the Super Bowl." Brian agrees.
Tonight's challenge: Rupert has a box of Valentine's Day Candy. Brian will have 30 seconds to eat the entire contents. The clock goes up . . . and Brian begins to eat the chocolates. It's obvious that Brian will not be able to eat the entire box but it'll be fun to watch him try. After about the 5th chocolate, Brian blurts through the mouthful of chocolates: "Wait a minute! Are there nuts in here? (blood begins to spurt from Brian's neck) I'm allergic to nuts. What the hell is wrong with you people?! Holy cow, you killed me!!" Brian drops to the ground as the blood continues to spurt. Luckily, there are no losers on the Late Show Valentine's Day Candy Challenge. What do we have for Brian? It's a half-eaten Hello Deli deli platter.
Dave gets another look at the poor lad and exclaims, "That's too bad.

GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: We see FDR. We see JFK. We see George W. Bush at an economic summit: "The uhhh. . . . . . ."
Tonight, we featured a new Alan Kalter at the JFK inauguration, this time wearing a top hat.

ACT 2
DAN HORN AND ORSON: My favorite parts: Dan Horn ventriloquising a muffled Orson when he's folded up. After Dan removes the rods off Orson's arms, Orson moves his arm by leaning over and grabbing it with his mouth. And Orson isn't a dummy . . . he's a Mannequin American. Find out more about Dan Horn, Orson, and Li'l Gary at www.danhorn.com.

ACT 3 - 4
PEYTON MANNING: the MVP of Super Bowl XLI and quarterback of the World Champion Indianapolis Colts. Dave is very happy to have Peyton here tonight. He and the Colts have put Indianapolis on the world map . . . I mean, for those who don't know about that car race Memorial Day weekend.
So what's it like the day of the Super Bowl. It's a weird kickoff time; 6:30 PM here in the east. A player's routine is all messed up. Peyton says he slept great the night before, getting a good 12-hours nap. He had spoken to some quarterbacks who have played in the Super Bowl in the past looking for advice. They strongly suggested to make the week leading up to the Super Bowl as "normal" as possible. If you usually get drunk on Monday night during the season, then get drunk Monday night before the Super Bowl. If you study film Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday during the season, do the same for the Super Bowl. Whatever you do during the season, do the same Super Bowl Week. Good advice. And whom did Peyton get this advice from? Oh, guys like John Elway, Troy Aikman, and Tom Brady. Wow. That's some pretty heady company. Peyton was listening to the right people.
The week leading up to the Super Bowl must be "tedious bedlam", as Dave describes it. It's a lot of craziness, but a lot of the same craziness over and over again. Peyton was advised to give long-winded answers, this way the media can't ask too many questions.
Was the rain on Super Bowl Sunday a factor? Although the announcers kept saying it wouldn't be a factor, it of course was a factor. It's not what you want to wake up to on the biggest game of your life. Peyton says that the rain actually calmed things down a bit. It took away some of the big day excitement. The dreariness of the day dimmed the bright lights of the day.
Dave's Super Bowl theme party this year was Mexicali. Dave was not even into his first taco when the Chicago Bears ran back the opening kickoff for a touchdown. How did that make Peyton feel? Peyton says he usually sits on the bench for the opening kickoff but for the Super Bowl he decided to stand and watch it and experience the thousands of "flash bulbs" popping off in the stadium to capture the moment. He was awed by the sight, but then realized the Chicago Bear was still running, still running, still running. The Chicago Bears were winning 7-0 before CBS could show even one replay or cut away to crowd shot. Teammates and coaches tried to shrug it off by saying, "Don't worry about it. It's 0-0. Think of it like it's 0-0." But Peyton says he knew better. Peyton says he was thinking, "No, it's 7-0 and we're losing."
So the Colts take the field down 7-0. Their first play had been planned for two weeks and they've run the play all year long. So they run the first play . . . and the receiver runs the wrong route. And then the Colts jump offsides twice (the first offsides was missed by CBS . . . they were showing a Phil Simms piece). And then Peyton threw an interception. On the sidelines, Peyton told his offense the obvious; this wasn't the way they wanted to start the game. Things eventually calmed down and they took control and won the most one-sided close game I've ever seen.
After more talk about the Super Bowl, Dave asks about the Manning family. Dave mentions dad, Archie Manning, who played for years in the NFL. And there's little brother Eli who plays across the river for the New York football Giants. Dave finishes with Peytons's older brother Cooper. Peyton slides in, "and my mom's in there." DING! Peyton mentioning mom was his best completion of the year! Nice going, Peyton. Perfect. He just elevated himself to near-Derek Jeter status in my book. What's it like to play for Colts coach Tony Dungy? Peyton cannot speak highly enough about Dungy. He's a perfect gentleman, a man of faith, who worked through a personal tragedy last year to lead the team to the championship last year. Says Peyton about Tony Dungy: "Players play so hard for him because you don't want to disappoint him" You can't get much better than that in a coach.

ACT 5: Ventriloquist Week continues: Wednesday: Otto and George
Thursday: Jim Barber & Seville
Friday: Brad Cummings and Rex

ACT 6 THE CAT EMPIRE: From their CD, "Two Shoes", The Cat Empire, making their network television debut, performed "Sly." Hey! I liked them! It was a lot of "Southern Culture on the Skids" with a side order of Springsteen. I'll be checking 'em out some more.

And that was our show for Tuesday, February 13, 2007.



Terrible day today. It was cold, windy, dark, dreary, gray. Just miserable. With the windchill, it felt like Monday.

My favorite part about Ventriloquist Week . . . watching Dave thank the dummy after the set.

Do you remember Ryan Leaf? He was a quarterback who entered the NFL the same year as Peyton Manning in 1998. It was a toss up as to who would be the #1 pick overall in the draft and who would be #2. The Indianapolis Colts had the first pick; the San Diego Chargers had the second pick. The Chargers would take whoever the Colts did not. The football experts debated for weeks who was better; Peyton Manning or Ryan Leaf. Both were thought to be sure stars in the NFL.
It's like a gal who has two suitors. Both want to marry her. Which one will she choose to spend the rest of her life? Both look to be on the fast track to success. Both look like they will make a wonderful husband and father.
Peyton had the reputation of being a straight-shooter, a good boy, a disciplined student of the game, and a great quarterback. Ryan Leaf was thought to be more of a wild kid, not very disciplined, but possessed a great arm and a gunslinger reputation. He too was a great college quarterback and many thought he had a bigger "up side" to his pro career than Peyton.
The Colts picked Peyton. Ryan Leaf went to the Chargers. My theory as to what steered the Colts towards the "safe" Peyton Manning was the Colts had been burned before on first-pick quarterbacks. Back in 1983, they had the first pick and chose John Elway. Elway didn't want to play for the Colts (Baltimore) and instead signed on with the New York Yankees baseball team. Yes, Elway was quite the baseball player, too. Unable to sign Elway, the Colts traded his rights to the Denver Broncos. Elway signed with them and the rest is history.
And then the Colts signed QB Jeff George as the #1 pick in the NFL draft in 1990. By then the Colts were in Indianapolis and Jeff George was also from Indianapolis. This was a perfect match. Unfortunately, Jeff George turned into a bit of a head case and his stay with the Colts was tumultuous and he was out of town in 4 years. So here are the Colts in 1998 having been burned twice by the #1 pick of a quarterback. When it was time to come to decide between Peyton Manning and Ryan Leaf, I have a feeling their history steered them to the safer pick: Peyton Manning. In hindsight, Peyton was obviously the right pick. Some think he may become the greatest quarterback to ever play the game. Ryan Leaf? Eeeks. He was the #2 pick. And he floundered. His attitude and work ethic quickly came into question. He turned out to be a dud, big time. Ryan Leaf has become one of the biggest busts in NFL history.
And that's the way I remember it. How close am I?
Any girls out there pick a "Peyton Manning" over a "Ryan Leaf"?

I read this the other day in the newspaper

CASINOS OPT FOR COINLESS SLOT MACHINES
By Associated Press | February 4, 2007
MASHANTUCKET, Conn. -- The clinking sounds of coins and tokens hitting the metal trays of slot machines at the state's two casinos (Foxwoods Resort Casino and Mohegan Sun) may be gone by the end of the year.
Casino officials and gaming analysts say players and employees often find it difficult to handle coins. They say the ticket system will make play faster and easier, and provides another way to reward players with bonuses. It also frees up some floor space because casinos will be able to get rid of their coin redemption machines.

Uh oh, the casinos better be careful. They may be underestimating the addictive hold that the sound of clinking coins has on a player of the slots. Every time a player hears the sound of coins, that tells them there was just another winner nearby. I would be very careful before I start monkeying around with something as profitable as the slot machines.
And while we're at it, I wonder if casinos "pipe in" the sound of clinking coins of a slot machine throughout the casino. This could add to the ambiance and excitement of sitting and pulling on the "one-armed bandit." One could not help but think "My turn to win is next." Piping in bells and whistles and clinking coins over a sound system could excite the gamblers and keep them pumping in the coin.

Another One of My Ideas That Will Never Get On The Show:
"The Farmer or the Ladder"
- Center stage: Pat Farmer in a track and field uniform. Near Pat is a ladder. Hanging from the rafters is an object. Paul and Dave decide whether Pat Farmer can jump and touch the object or if he needs a ladder. Pat jumps attempting to touch the object. If after three jumps Pat cannot touch the object, he moves the ladder under the object and climbs to touch the object.
"The Farmer or the Ladder"
This concludes another episode of "My Ideas That Will Never Get On The Show."

And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world's longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Oh, my goodness, he's 49 on the 14th. From Floral Park, by way of Carmel, New York and Tolentine in the Bronx, it's a big happy birthday to Martin J. "Buddy" McDonough!
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER