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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Chris Rock; Sandra Oh; and Amy Winehouse.
PLUS: Osama’s Birthday; Someone Forgot to Change His Clock; Scooter Libby; a Top Ten List; and Small Town News.
ACT 1
So did you change your clocks this weekend? Dave didn’t, and he hasn’t for 25 years. He thinks it’s all so silly and makes no difference. Once a Hoosier, always a Hoosier.
Osama bin Laden’s 50th birthday was over the weekend and we have something our military found yesterday. It is the remains of Osama’s half-eaten birthday cake. You can make out the icing spelling out, “Happy Birthday, Osama.” We are getting closer and closer to the guy. Missed him this time by one day.
Biff Henderson, our stage manager, comes rushing from behind Dave. He is still in his overcoat he wore from home and is wearing his headset. The apologetic Mr. Henderson exclaims, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I forgot to set my clock ahead.” Biff runs backstage to take his position.
Dave saw something earlier today that sheds new light on the Scooter Libby verdict. Announcer: “Scooter Libby lied under oath to protect his boss, Dick Cheney. Why would a man choose prison rather than criticizing Cheney?”
Cut to shot of Dick Cheney with his rifle.
Announcer: “Dick Cheney: Locked and Loaded”
Sound effect of a shotgun firing.
And right after the show tonight, Paul and the band will be rushing over to the Waldorf Astoria to partake in the 22nd Annual Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony. Once again, Paul will be leading the band. And who are this year’s inductees?
R.E.M.
Patti Smith
Van Halen
The Ronettes
Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five
Paul should have stories for us tomorrow.
SMALL TOWN NEWS The Lassen County Times (Susanville, California): “The city of Susanville is retiring its slogan of 106 years. ‘What do you think the new slogan should be?’ Shawn Ford-Speed of Kansas City, Missouri says, ‘Susanville – I wouldn’t stay here if I were you.’”
The Leader-News (Greenville, Kentucky): Here’s a personal ad: “I would like to meet a woman around 60 to 65 who likes to fish and drive around in the country and have fun. She can have a few beers if she wants.”
The News-Star (Monroe, Louisiana): “Found: Small, white male, on Kiroli Road. Call and identify.”
The Morning Star (Albion, Michigan): Here’s a classified ad: “Wicker baby carriage with hood and wooden wheels, all original. $275 or best offer, or trade for rifle or shotgun.”
The Courier (Findlay, Ohio): From the Public Record: “An Arlington man contacted the sheriff’s office to complain that he heard locusts in his house on Saturday morning. When deputies responded, he man apologized, saying he discovered the sound had been coming from his hearing aid, which needed new batteries.”
The Afton-Fairland American (Vinita, Oklahoma): Here’s a brainteaser called “Get The Picture?” “Can you guess what the bigger picture is featured here?” The photo is all black. “Answer: Rose.”
The Express-Times (Easton, Pennsylvania): You may have heard about this: “A dozen rats were caught on video scurrying around the floor of a New York City KFC/Taco Bell restaurant.” Unfortunately, they ran the story next to this KFC ad.
The Akron Hometowner (Akron, Iowa): Here’s a profile of high school senior Eva Kestler: “When asked what her excuse is when she doesn’t turn her homework in on time, she says that she totally forgot to do it.”
The Lafayette Journal & Courier (Lafayette, Indiana): Here’s someone who had a busy few days: “Marriage dissolutions: Brian Rose and Angie Rose.” The same week: “Marriage licenses: Brian S. Rose and Sandy L. Morehouse.”
The Edmonton Journal (Edmonton, Alberta): Here’s a Chapters/Indigo Bookstore ad announcing an amazing deal for a book by Donald Trump: “Now $29.95 --- Regularly $20.97”
The Oakes Times (Oakes, North Dakota): “Hunting safety tips. Never mix alcohol and firearms.” And over here we have this ad: “Welcome hunters --- get your beer, wine, and liquor.”
The Springfield News Sun (Springfield, Ohio): Here’s a recipe for “Spaghetti with garlic and oil.” One of the ingredients is “1 small dried, child, crumbled.”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: We see FDR. We see JFK. We see George W. Bush: “You don’t need hair follicles . . . particularly if you have hair.”
ACT 2 TOP TEN: Things Overheard at Osama bin Laden’s 50th Birthday Party – It was his 50th birthday this past Saturday. #9. “Death to these novelty candles that light again after you blow them out!” #6. “For he’s a jolly good fellow, which the infidels will deny.” #4. “Paris Hilton will attend anything.”
CHRIS ROCK: He wrote, directed, produced and stars in the new film, “I Think I Love My Wife,” opening this Friday. And he agrees that Paul should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Paul pleads, “Please, don’t mention it” and then quickly adds a disclaimer, “make a call, write a letter,” or something like that.
Chris must be a watcher of the LATE SHOW because he was a bit surprised to follow the Top Ten. Usually we have the top ten and then a commercial. Chris has never had to follow the top ten. And he’s right. We’ve been bringing out the first guest right after the Top Ten recently.
Chris is a dad to two girls and he says it is so much easier than being a dad to one. When you only have one child, YOU are the show. You always have to work at entertaining the child. When you have two children, you are only the usher. They can entertain themselves; you only have to bring them together. “Come on, you two. You can sit right over here and play.”
Chris traveled to South Africa not too long ago with Oprah to help open her new school. Chris has had the privilege of feeling the power of Oprah. You shake her hand and the power shoots right up your arm and through your body. People pray there is a God; but everyone KNOWS there is an Oprah. She can make anything possible. And while in South Africa, Chris went on a safari. He was busy taking pictures of the lions, the elephants, the hippos . . . . it was great, until he saw people taking pictures of him. He wanted to say, “Hey, I’m not part of the show.”
“I Think I Love My Wife” – it opens Friday.
ACT 4 SANDRA OH: She’s from Grey’s Anatomy and from the “Arliss.” And she’s from Canada. Sandra's first taste of show biz came at the age of 10 in a production of “The Canada Goose.” She played the Wizard of Woe who made everybody depressed.
Dave says the Canadian goose may be special in Canada, but her in the U.S. they tend to be a nuisance. During their migration, they make a stopover along the way, and then they never leave. And they are messy and nasty.
Canadian geese are a big problem at golf courses here in the northeast and there’s always an article or two in the paper on how they are trying to get rid of them. Some courses have unleashed the dogs to patrol the 18 holes. And that’s about all I know about Canadian Geese.
Do people mistake her for a doctor now that she plays on one TV? Yes, all the time. She stresses that she is not a doctor, and then looks right into the camera and repeats, “I am not a doctor.” And just playing a doctor on TV has resulted in her being credited for saving a life. According to a tabloid article, a little boy swallowed something at a supermarket and began to choke. Sandra rushed over and performed the Heimlich maneuver. The candy lodged in the child’s throat popped out and his life was saved. Sandra is very proud of the story, but it is not true. She never saved anyone’s life. She never performed a Heimlich maneuver. But it’s a great story.
Says Dave, “You know in the early days of television, you actually had to be a doctor to play one on TV.” Who knew? Grey’s Anatomy – Thursday nights at 9:00 on ABC.
ACT 5 Alan announce: “Are you ready for excitement? Well then log on to the Late Show website for an all-new Tony Mendez Show. Tony’s back this Tuesday with the hilarious ‘Tony Goes to the Hamptons.’ The Tony Mendez Show. Just go to www.cbs.com/lateshow. You’ll be glad you did! We’ll be right back.
Did you see the shot of the LATE SHOW website? There at the bottom was the Wahoo Gazette on national TV. I think I’m going to request that they alter the front page of the Wahoo to include my name. This way when we show the site on the air, the world will see ‘Michael Z. McIntee.’ Hey, I gotta get the name out there. This gig ain’t gonna last forever.
ACT 6 AMY WINEHOUSE: Making her American network television debut, from her CD “Back to Black,” Amy Winehouse performed “Rehab.” Hey, I liked it! Something new that sounded like something old. Interesting. I’ll be giving “Back to Black” a long listen.
And that was our show for Monday March 12, 2007.
I hate Daylight Saving Time. It screws up my sundial.
I heard this twice last week: something went wrong and it was blamed on a computer error. No no no no no. A computer only does what it is programmed to do. If there is a mistake or an error, it is the fault of the programmer or the user. Don’t blame the computer.
And we should stop blaming “government” for our problems and blame those who are to blame: Politicians. Blaming “government” doesn’t put a face on the problem and creates the image of a big mess that you can’t put a finger on. Blaming politicians focuses the blame where it should.
I’m hoping the Florida Gators are eliminated early from the NCAA college basketball’s March Madness. I’m already tired of seeing Joakim Noah’s screaming face.
Dang it! Daylight Saving Time stole one hour from my vacation.
Congratulations to LATE SHOW Creative Directors of Digital Media, Jay Johnson and Walter Kim, on a fine article about them and the LATE SHOW website in the Chicago Sun-Times last week.
And The Wahoo Gazette is mentioned in the article, described as “a behind-the-scenes recap of each day's taping by the show's production coordinator.” I guess that’s close enough.
I forgot it was Daylight Saving Time this weekend. I spent two hours trying to wind my sundial.
Billy Packer says Chris Simon’s hit wasn’t intentional.
The above joke is a week old but I wasn’t here to tell it. Plus, the reference is kind of distant and few will get it, but as always, most of what I write is for my own enjoyment.
Tomorrow we have Jeff Goldblum on as a guest. Whenever he’s on, I always hope Dave will ask, “So which one were you again, Ten Speed or Brownshoe?”
Over the break, I read two reviews of “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?” I like the concept but find the execution to be awful. (Wahoo review; Feb. 27, 2007). David Bianculli of the New York Daily News loves it. He thought it was just fantastic. Thankfully, my hero Phil Mushnick of the New York Post slams it for the same reasons I did. The show moves at a snail’s pace.
And speaking of Mushnick, his Post article today (Monday) covers the woeful foul shooting in the NBA and college ball. But you read it here first on February 9th. My 11-year-old daughter shot 11 for 15 at a foul shooting contest the other day, a 73% success rate. Why can’t the pros and the Division 1 college players shoot 73% from the line? It makes no sense.
And did you know you could fit two NBA basketballs side-by-side through a basketball hoop at the same time?
Happy Birthday, Mr. Giller!
And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Olympia, Washington, it’s Milos Jefferson III
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Chris Rock; Sandra Oh; and Amy Winehouse.
PLUS: Osama’s Birthday; Someone Forgot to Change His Clock; Scooter Libby; a Top Ten List; and Small Town News.
ACT 1
So did you change your clocks this weekend? Dave didn’t, and he hasn’t for 25 years. He thinks it’s all so silly and makes no difference. Once a Hoosier, always a Hoosier.
Osama bin Laden’s 50th birthday was over the weekend and we have something our military found yesterday. It is the remains of Osama’s half-eaten birthday cake. You can make out the icing spelling out, “Happy Birthday, Osama.” We are getting closer and closer to the guy. Missed him this time by one day.
Biff Henderson, our stage manager, comes rushing from behind Dave. He is still in his overcoat he wore from home and is wearing his headset. The apologetic Mr. Henderson exclaims, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I forgot to set my clock ahead.” Biff runs backstage to take his position.
Dave saw something earlier today that sheds new light on the Scooter Libby verdict. Announcer: “Scooter Libby lied under oath to protect his boss, Dick Cheney. Why would a man choose prison rather than criticizing Cheney?”
Cut to shot of Dick Cheney with his rifle.
Announcer: “Dick Cheney: Locked and Loaded”
Sound effect of a shotgun firing.
And right after the show tonight, Paul and the band will be rushing over to the Waldorf Astoria to partake in the 22nd Annual Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony. Once again, Paul will be leading the band. And who are this year’s inductees?
R.E.M.
Patti Smith
Van Halen
The Ronettes
Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five
Paul should have stories for us tomorrow.
SMALL TOWN NEWS The Lassen County Times (Susanville, California): “The city of Susanville is retiring its slogan of 106 years. ‘What do you think the new slogan should be?’ Shawn Ford-Speed of Kansas City, Missouri says, ‘Susanville – I wouldn’t stay here if I were you.’”
The Leader-News (Greenville, Kentucky): Here’s a personal ad: “I would like to meet a woman around 60 to 65 who likes to fish and drive around in the country and have fun. She can have a few beers if she wants.”
The News-Star (Monroe, Louisiana): “Found: Small, white male, on Kiroli Road. Call and identify.”
The Morning Star (Albion, Michigan): Here’s a classified ad: “Wicker baby carriage with hood and wooden wheels, all original. $275 or best offer, or trade for rifle or shotgun.”
The Courier (Findlay, Ohio): From the Public Record: “An Arlington man contacted the sheriff’s office to complain that he heard locusts in his house on Saturday morning. When deputies responded, he man apologized, saying he discovered the sound had been coming from his hearing aid, which needed new batteries.”
The Afton-Fairland American (Vinita, Oklahoma): Here’s a brainteaser called “Get The Picture?” “Can you guess what the bigger picture is featured here?” The photo is all black. “Answer: Rose.”
The Express-Times (Easton, Pennsylvania): You may have heard about this: “A dozen rats were caught on video scurrying around the floor of a New York City KFC/Taco Bell restaurant.” Unfortunately, they ran the story next to this KFC ad.
The Akron Hometowner (Akron, Iowa): Here’s a profile of high school senior Eva Kestler: “When asked what her excuse is when she doesn’t turn her homework in on time, she says that she totally forgot to do it.”
The Lafayette Journal & Courier (Lafayette, Indiana): Here’s someone who had a busy few days: “Marriage dissolutions: Brian Rose and Angie Rose.” The same week: “Marriage licenses: Brian S. Rose and Sandy L. Morehouse.”
The Edmonton Journal (Edmonton, Alberta): Here’s a Chapters/Indigo Bookstore ad announcing an amazing deal for a book by Donald Trump: “Now $29.95 --- Regularly $20.97”
The Oakes Times (Oakes, North Dakota): “Hunting safety tips. Never mix alcohol and firearms.” And over here we have this ad: “Welcome hunters --- get your beer, wine, and liquor.”
The Springfield News Sun (Springfield, Ohio): Here’s a recipe for “Spaghetti with garlic and oil.” One of the ingredients is “1 small dried, child, crumbled.”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: We see FDR. We see JFK. We see George W. Bush: “You don’t need hair follicles . . . particularly if you have hair.”
ACT 2 TOP TEN: Things Overheard at Osama bin Laden’s 50th Birthday Party – It was his 50th birthday this past Saturday. #9. “Death to these novelty candles that light again after you blow them out!” #6. “For he’s a jolly good fellow, which the infidels will deny.” #4. “Paris Hilton will attend anything.”
CHRIS ROCK: He wrote, directed, produced and stars in the new film, “I Think I Love My Wife,” opening this Friday. And he agrees that Paul should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Paul pleads, “Please, don’t mention it” and then quickly adds a disclaimer, “make a call, write a letter,” or something like that.
Chris must be a watcher of the LATE SHOW because he was a bit surprised to follow the Top Ten. Usually we have the top ten and then a commercial. Chris has never had to follow the top ten. And he’s right. We’ve been bringing out the first guest right after the Top Ten recently.
Chris is a dad to two girls and he says it is so much easier than being a dad to one. When you only have one child, YOU are the show. You always have to work at entertaining the child. When you have two children, you are only the usher. They can entertain themselves; you only have to bring them together. “Come on, you two. You can sit right over here and play.”
Chris traveled to South Africa not too long ago with Oprah to help open her new school. Chris has had the privilege of feeling the power of Oprah. You shake her hand and the power shoots right up your arm and through your body. People pray there is a God; but everyone KNOWS there is an Oprah. She can make anything possible. And while in South Africa, Chris went on a safari. He was busy taking pictures of the lions, the elephants, the hippos . . . . it was great, until he saw people taking pictures of him. He wanted to say, “Hey, I’m not part of the show.”
“I Think I Love My Wife” – it opens Friday.
ACT 4 SANDRA OH: She’s from Grey’s Anatomy and from the “Arliss.” And she’s from Canada. Sandra's first taste of show biz came at the age of 10 in a production of “The Canada Goose.” She played the Wizard of Woe who made everybody depressed.
Dave says the Canadian goose may be special in Canada, but her in the U.S. they tend to be a nuisance. During their migration, they make a stopover along the way, and then they never leave. And they are messy and nasty.
Canadian geese are a big problem at golf courses here in the northeast and there’s always an article or two in the paper on how they are trying to get rid of them. Some courses have unleashed the dogs to patrol the 18 holes. And that’s about all I know about Canadian Geese.
Do people mistake her for a doctor now that she plays on one TV? Yes, all the time. She stresses that she is not a doctor, and then looks right into the camera and repeats, “I am not a doctor.” And just playing a doctor on TV has resulted in her being credited for saving a life. According to a tabloid article, a little boy swallowed something at a supermarket and began to choke. Sandra rushed over and performed the Heimlich maneuver. The candy lodged in the child’s throat popped out and his life was saved. Sandra is very proud of the story, but it is not true. She never saved anyone’s life. She never performed a Heimlich maneuver. But it’s a great story.
Says Dave, “You know in the early days of television, you actually had to be a doctor to play one on TV.” Who knew? Grey’s Anatomy – Thursday nights at 9:00 on ABC.
ACT 5 Alan announce: “Are you ready for excitement? Well then log on to the Late Show website for an all-new Tony Mendez Show. Tony’s back this Tuesday with the hilarious ‘Tony Goes to the Hamptons.’ The Tony Mendez Show. Just go to www.cbs.com/lateshow. You’ll be glad you did! We’ll be right back.
Did you see the shot of the LATE SHOW website? There at the bottom was the Wahoo Gazette on national TV. I think I’m going to request that they alter the front page of the Wahoo to include my name. This way when we show the site on the air, the world will see ‘Michael Z. McIntee.’ Hey, I gotta get the name out there. This gig ain’t gonna last forever.
ACT 6 AMY WINEHOUSE: Making her American network television debut, from her CD “Back to Black,” Amy Winehouse performed “Rehab.” Hey, I liked it! Something new that sounded like something old. Interesting. I’ll be giving “Back to Black” a long listen.
And that was our show for Monday March 12, 2007.
I hate Daylight Saving Time. It screws up my sundial.
I heard this twice last week: something went wrong and it was blamed on a computer error. No no no no no. A computer only does what it is programmed to do. If there is a mistake or an error, it is the fault of the programmer or the user. Don’t blame the computer.
And we should stop blaming “government” for our problems and blame those who are to blame: Politicians. Blaming “government” doesn’t put a face on the problem and creates the image of a big mess that you can’t put a finger on. Blaming politicians focuses the blame where it should.
I’m hoping the Florida Gators are eliminated early from the NCAA college basketball’s March Madness. I’m already tired of seeing Joakim Noah’s screaming face.
Dang it! Daylight Saving Time stole one hour from my vacation.
Congratulations to LATE SHOW Creative Directors of Digital Media, Jay Johnson and Walter Kim, on a fine article about them and the LATE SHOW website in the Chicago Sun-Times last week.
And The Wahoo Gazette is mentioned in the article, described as “a behind-the-scenes recap of each day's taping by the show's production coordinator.” I guess that’s close enough.
I forgot it was Daylight Saving Time this weekend. I spent two hours trying to wind my sundial.
Billy Packer says Chris Simon’s hit wasn’t intentional.
The above joke is a week old but I wasn’t here to tell it. Plus, the reference is kind of distant and few will get it, but as always, most of what I write is for my own enjoyment.
Tomorrow we have Jeff Goldblum on as a guest. Whenever he’s on, I always hope Dave will ask, “So which one were you again, Ten Speed or Brownshoe?”
Over the break, I read two reviews of “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?” I like the concept but find the execution to be awful. (Wahoo review; Feb. 27, 2007). David Bianculli of the New York Daily News loves it. He thought it was just fantastic. Thankfully, my hero Phil Mushnick of the New York Post slams it for the same reasons I did. The show moves at a snail’s pace.
And speaking of Mushnick, his Post article today (Monday) covers the woeful foul shooting in the NBA and college ball. But you read it here first on February 9th. My 11-year-old daughter shot 11 for 15 at a foul shooting contest the other day, a 73% success rate. Why can’t the pros and the Division 1 college players shoot 73% from the line? It makes no sense.
And did you know you could fit two NBA basketballs side-by-side through a basketball hoop at the same time?
Happy Birthday, Mr. Giller!
And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Olympia, Washington, it’s Milos Jefferson III
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Osama's 50th Birthday Cake • Biff Forgot Daylight Savings Time • "Scooter" Libby Verdict • Small Town News • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
ACT 2 • Top Ten Things Overheard at Osama bin Laden's 50th Birthday Party Read now
