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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Drew Barrymore; Rickie Lee Jones; and Ventriloquist Week begins with Kevin Johnson, with Clyde and Matilda.
PLUS: Dave’s parking troubles; Will Lee Wins a Grammy; the City Honors Ventriloquist Week; the Grammy Awards; Small Town News; and Pat Farmer’s “Surprise! You’re on TV!”
ACT 1:
It’s been cold up here in the northeast for the past few weeks and when you think of freezing cold, you think of ice skating. And what better father/son experience than teaching your young one how to ice skate? So Dave and Harry went out for a drive to get Harry’s ice skates sharpened. They arrived at the local ice skate sharpening place but when they arrived, they couldn’t find a parking space. They drove around the store once but still not spot. There was one spot available, but it wasn’t actually a parking space. It was one of those questionable spots that aren’t marked. It was clearly not a legal spot but it sort of, kind of, could have been. Harry pipes up in the back and says “What about that one?!” Dave sizes it up but realizes it isn’t a legal spot. Dave drives around the store again but still no spot. Harry again calls out, “What about that one?” Dave drives around twice, three times, and then another few times; each time Harry asks about that spot. Says Harry after the 6th trip around, “What about that one? That looks like the best spot ever!” By now, Dave has to agree. He pulls in to the spot. Harry and Dave get out and start walking to the store. A cop approaches, “Hey, you can’t park there.” Dave sheepishly responds, “Well, somebody told me I could.”
Two things about this bothered Dave:
“I’m taking driving advice from a 3-year-old.”
“I was ‘this close’ to selling him down the river.”
How much does it cost to get your ice skates sharpened? According to the guy in the store: “Free sharpening . . . it’s an American tradition.”
Congratulations to Will Lee. . . last night our popular bass player earned his first Grammy Award in the category, “Best Large Jazz Ensemble album for his work on “Some Skunk Funk” by the Brecker Brothers. Good job, Will.
The whole city has gotten behind the excitement of Ventriloquist Week. Dave has nearly stunned when he saw this. Dave holds up a picture taken early this morning of the city’s amazing support. The photo is of the Statue of Liberty . . . holding a Statue of Liberty dummy in her left hand. Nice job, New York City . . . and thank you.
The Grammy Awards tried some new things last night. We take a look at this announcement. Announcer: “Last night at the Grammys, millions of Americans voted to give a chance for a complete unknown to sing with Justin Timberlake. The votes were tabulated. And congratulations to . . . . Art Garfunkel. The Grammys on CBS. We’re gonna party like it’s 1969!”
SMALL TOWN NEWS
- The Wenatchee (Washington) World: “Burglaries. Entry of home attempted, but foiled by homeowner’s string-attached-to-bucket-and-chair ‘burglar alarm.’”
- The Cape Gazette (Lewis, Delaware): “Surfers and Scientists debate groins.”
- St. Petersburg (Florida) Times: “A woman who was shot in the head Monday night walked into a liquor store and said she wanted to order a beer before she called 911”
- Paintsville (Kentucky) Herald: “Poll question: ‘Do you think cults are a problem in Eastern Kentucky?’ Robert Grim: ‘I think cults are a problem anywhere. I think they need rocks dropped on their heads.’”
- Zainesville, Ohio Times Reporter: “Grass fire on Lee Street. An eyewitness reported seeing a pigeon with a cigarette start the blaze.”
- The Jones County (Georgia) News: “Gray Elementary School students, including Sierra Stuckey (above) were served green eggs and ham to mark St. Patrick’s Day, March 17. Stuckey enjoyed the St. Patrick’s Day treat.” Camera pans up to show the unhappy smirking child. She doesn’t look at all happy.
- Dawson County (Georgia) Advertiser: “Old time Gospel singing . . . featuring special guests: The Chosen Quartet.” And how many are in the quartet? Six.
- The Jordan (Minnesota) Independent: “Charles Whipps of Spring Lake Township called to report two giant turkey vultures. Before reporter Brandon Otte could get any closer for a picture, the birds flew away.” The camera pans to the photo of the area from where the birds flew. There are no vultures in the photo. They had flown away.
- The Times-Republican (Marshalltown, Iowa): “On December 8th, a semi was eastbound on 240th Street when it struck a deer which failed to yield the right of way to the semi.”
- The Oshkosh (Wisconsin) Daily Northwestern: “Bail was set at $75,000 for a tavern proprietor charged with attempted first degree intentional homicide. Hanselman was asked if the shooting was accidental and he replied, ‘I don’t shoot anybody by accident. You know how annoying Al can get.”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: We see FDR. We see JFK. We see George W. Bush: “Yesterday, I went to a Caterpillar plant in Peoria, Illinois. That’s where they make . . . . big bulldozers.”
ACT 2: VENTRILOQUIST KEVIN JOHNSON, WITH CLYDE AND MATILDA
- Kevin Johnson is the ventriloquist
- Matilda likes to sing
- Clyde: “Wuuuzuuppp?
- My favorite part: Kevin Johnson re-enacting a Japanese Godzilla movie where the words don’t match up with the mouth movements of the actors. Very funny, and I imagine, very difficult to master.
- You can see Kevin Johnson, with Clyde and Matilda every day at Legoland, California. Find out more at: www.kevinjohnson.tv
ACT 3: DREW BARRYMORE: She’s looking lovely, Ms. Barrymore. She’s all grown up. Drew thanks Dave for his sweet comments, then mentions she really likes Dave’s polka-dotted ties. Says Dave, “It could be yours if you play your cards right.”
Dave asks Drew to tell us about the long Barrymore history of performing. The performing Barrymores go back many generations; a real acting dynasty. Plus, they have the reputations of being a bit nuts. Drew says she is happy for the reputation because it “allowed” her to not only be proud of her heritage, but allowed her to act silly.
How’s Drew’s love life? Well, she is now single. How about that! She must have the men knocking down her door. Unfortunately, nope. Dave guesses that most men would be intimidated by her stardom and celebrity-ness (my word).
Drew says she is going through her “Saturn Return” phenomenon at the age of 32 when most women go through it at 28. Dave asks her to explain “Saturn Return.” It’s an astrological phenomenon that occurs in a person’s natal chart at approximately 28-30 years old and then again at 58-60. It is so named because the planet Saturn takes 29.5 years to orbit the sun, so when it returns to the same position in its orbit that it was in when you were born, that’s your “Saturn Return.” It’s supposed to be marked by periods of introspection and reflection on one’s real purpose in life.
(Hmmmm, I guess that would make sense if we lived on Saturn.)
Major events may occur in conjunction with this, including break-ups and career changes and Drew says 2006 brought on lots of changes in her life.
Drew’s new film, “Music and Lyrics”, co-stars Hugh Grant and it opens Wednesday, Valentine’s Day. Hear Drew sing!
ACT 4: PAT FARMER’S “SURPRISE! YOU’RE ON TV!” – Pat introduces a clip from his new program.
We see Pat standing in front of his disabled car. The hood is up. He stops a passerby asking for help. The gent takes a look under the hood, and while he investigates the manifold, Pat Farmer slams the hood on the unsuspecting and innocent fellow. Pat smiles broadly and exclaims, “Surprise! You’re on TV!”
ACT 5:
It’s Ventriloquist Week:
Tuesday: Dan Horn and Orson
Wednesday: Otto Peterson and George
Thursday: Jim Barber & Seville
Friday: Brad Cummings and Rex
ACT 6:RICKIE LEE JONES: From her brand new CD, “The Sermon on Exposition Boulevard,” Rickie Lee Jones performed “Falling Up.”
And that was our show for Monday February 12, 2007.
There’s supposed to be snow tonight and then into Wednesday morning. My goodness, the weather reporters are giddy with glee, but pretending to be concerned about the approaching and possible catastrophic weather. How much snow is on our way? Between 2-5 inches. Please pray for us. Meanwhile, I’m running out to the supermarket to buy some powdered milk.
Ventriloquist Week 2 is off and running. The lineup looks great, but I was sort of hoping for a return visit by Spencer Horsman.
I’ll let you stew over that one for a while.
Phew . . . finally good news. All 6 lead actors and actresses are currently working on the Disney sequel, “High School Musical 2.” There were reports that some were holding out for more money and it now looks like they’ve all come to terms. Alright! “High School Musical 2” is set to premiere at the end of the summer.
A church in East Harlem is closing down, by orders of the Archdiocese, and the parishioners are not happy. 20 of them refused to leave Monday night. The cops were called. 14 eventually left and the 6 remaining were arrested. 2 others were arrested at another church in Yonkers that was also closing just north of the Bronx. I’ve heard of murderers being allowed sanctuary in a church. I guess trespassers are not allowed the same grace. C’mon, Archdiocese, you can’t have your parishioners arrested for sitting in their church. Keep doing this and people may start asking why you can’t afford to keep them open.
Happy birthday, Abe Lincoln!
- Lincoln was the first president to have a beard while in office
- Abe Lincoln’s mother, Nancy Hanks Lincoln, died when the family dairy cow ate poisonous mushrooms and she drank the milk
- A plot was developed to steal Lincoln’s body, so a secret society to guard his tomb was formed.
- Lincoln was the tallest president. He was 6 feet and four inches tall.
- Lincoln was shot on Good Friday.
- Lincoln had a cat named “Bob”, a turkey named “Jack”, and a dog named “Jib.”
- Lincoln was the first president to be photographed as his inauguration. John Wilkes Booth can be seen standing close to Lincoln in the picture.
- Lincoln was the only president to receive a patent, for a device for lifting boats over shoals.
- Lincoln’s brother fought in the Confederate Army.
- Abraham Lincoln was shot while watching a performance of “Our American Cousin” at Ford’s Theater in Washington, D.C.
- Lincoln’s favorite sport was wrestling
- Lincoln had a wart on his right cheek, a scar on his thumb from an ax accident, and a scar over his right eye from a fight with a gang of thieves.
- John Wilkes Booth’s brother once saved Abraham Lincoln’s son’s life.
- Abe Lincoln is the United States president most frequently portrayed in films.
Pitchers and catchers today. Ahhh, all is good once again in the world.
And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Albion, Pennsylvania, it’s Donald McCalmon
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Drew Barrymore; Rickie Lee Jones; and Ventriloquist Week begins with Kevin Johnson, with Clyde and Matilda.
PLUS: Dave’s parking troubles; Will Lee Wins a Grammy; the City Honors Ventriloquist Week; the Grammy Awards; Small Town News; and Pat Farmer’s “Surprise! You’re on TV!”
ACT 1:
It’s been cold up here in the northeast for the past few weeks and when you think of freezing cold, you think of ice skating. And what better father/son experience than teaching your young one how to ice skate? So Dave and Harry went out for a drive to get Harry’s ice skates sharpened. They arrived at the local ice skate sharpening place but when they arrived, they couldn’t find a parking space. They drove around the store once but still not spot. There was one spot available, but it wasn’t actually a parking space. It was one of those questionable spots that aren’t marked. It was clearly not a legal spot but it sort of, kind of, could have been. Harry pipes up in the back and says “What about that one?!” Dave sizes it up but realizes it isn’t a legal spot. Dave drives around the store again but still no spot. Harry again calls out, “What about that one?” Dave drives around twice, three times, and then another few times; each time Harry asks about that spot. Says Harry after the 6th trip around, “What about that one? That looks like the best spot ever!” By now, Dave has to agree. He pulls in to the spot. Harry and Dave get out and start walking to the store. A cop approaches, “Hey, you can’t park there.” Dave sheepishly responds, “Well, somebody told me I could.”
Two things about this bothered Dave:
“I’m taking driving advice from a 3-year-old.”
“I was ‘this close’ to selling him down the river.”
How much does it cost to get your ice skates sharpened? According to the guy in the store: “Free sharpening . . . it’s an American tradition.”
Congratulations to Will Lee. . . last night our popular bass player earned his first Grammy Award in the category, “Best Large Jazz Ensemble album for his work on “Some Skunk Funk” by the Brecker Brothers. Good job, Will.
The whole city has gotten behind the excitement of Ventriloquist Week. Dave has nearly stunned when he saw this. Dave holds up a picture taken early this morning of the city’s amazing support. The photo is of the Statue of Liberty . . . holding a Statue of Liberty dummy in her left hand. Nice job, New York City . . . and thank you.
The Grammy Awards tried some new things last night. We take a look at this announcement. Announcer: “Last night at the Grammys, millions of Americans voted to give a chance for a complete unknown to sing with Justin Timberlake. The votes were tabulated. And congratulations to . . . . Art Garfunkel. The Grammys on CBS. We’re gonna party like it’s 1969!”
SMALL TOWN NEWS
- The Wenatchee (Washington) World: “Burglaries. Entry of home attempted, but foiled by homeowner’s string-attached-to-bucket-and-chair ‘burglar alarm.’”
- The Cape Gazette (Lewis, Delaware): “Surfers and Scientists debate groins.”
- St. Petersburg (Florida) Times: “A woman who was shot in the head Monday night walked into a liquor store and said she wanted to order a beer before she called 911”
- Paintsville (Kentucky) Herald: “Poll question: ‘Do you think cults are a problem in Eastern Kentucky?’ Robert Grim: ‘I think cults are a problem anywhere. I think they need rocks dropped on their heads.’”
- Zainesville, Ohio Times Reporter: “Grass fire on Lee Street. An eyewitness reported seeing a pigeon with a cigarette start the blaze.”
- The Jones County (Georgia) News: “Gray Elementary School students, including Sierra Stuckey (above) were served green eggs and ham to mark St. Patrick’s Day, March 17. Stuckey enjoyed the St. Patrick’s Day treat.” Camera pans up to show the unhappy smirking child. She doesn’t look at all happy.
- Dawson County (Georgia) Advertiser: “Old time Gospel singing . . . featuring special guests: The Chosen Quartet.” And how many are in the quartet? Six.
- The Jordan (Minnesota) Independent: “Charles Whipps of Spring Lake Township called to report two giant turkey vultures. Before reporter Brandon Otte could get any closer for a picture, the birds flew away.” The camera pans to the photo of the area from where the birds flew. There are no vultures in the photo. They had flown away.
- The Times-Republican (Marshalltown, Iowa): “On December 8th, a semi was eastbound on 240th Street when it struck a deer which failed to yield the right of way to the semi.”
- The Oshkosh (Wisconsin) Daily Northwestern: “Bail was set at $75,000 for a tavern proprietor charged with attempted first degree intentional homicide. Hanselman was asked if the shooting was accidental and he replied, ‘I don’t shoot anybody by accident. You know how annoying Al can get.”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: We see FDR. We see JFK. We see George W. Bush: “Yesterday, I went to a Caterpillar plant in Peoria, Illinois. That’s where they make . . . . big bulldozers.”
ACT 2: VENTRILOQUIST KEVIN JOHNSON, WITH CLYDE AND MATILDA
- Kevin Johnson is the ventriloquist
- Matilda likes to sing
- Clyde: “Wuuuzuuppp?
- My favorite part: Kevin Johnson re-enacting a Japanese Godzilla movie where the words don’t match up with the mouth movements of the actors. Very funny, and I imagine, very difficult to master.
- You can see Kevin Johnson, with Clyde and Matilda every day at Legoland, California. Find out more at: www.kevinjohnson.tv
ACT 3: DREW BARRYMORE: She’s looking lovely, Ms. Barrymore. She’s all grown up. Drew thanks Dave for his sweet comments, then mentions she really likes Dave’s polka-dotted ties. Says Dave, “It could be yours if you play your cards right.”
Dave asks Drew to tell us about the long Barrymore history of performing. The performing Barrymores go back many generations; a real acting dynasty. Plus, they have the reputations of being a bit nuts. Drew says she is happy for the reputation because it “allowed” her to not only be proud of her heritage, but allowed her to act silly.
How’s Drew’s love life? Well, she is now single. How about that! She must have the men knocking down her door. Unfortunately, nope. Dave guesses that most men would be intimidated by her stardom and celebrity-ness (my word).
Drew says she is going through her “Saturn Return” phenomenon at the age of 32 when most women go through it at 28. Dave asks her to explain “Saturn Return.” It’s an astrological phenomenon that occurs in a person’s natal chart at approximately 28-30 years old and then again at 58-60. It is so named because the planet Saturn takes 29.5 years to orbit the sun, so when it returns to the same position in its orbit that it was in when you were born, that’s your “Saturn Return.” It’s supposed to be marked by periods of introspection and reflection on one’s real purpose in life.
(Hmmmm, I guess that would make sense if we lived on Saturn.)
Major events may occur in conjunction with this, including break-ups and career changes and Drew says 2006 brought on lots of changes in her life.
Drew’s new film, “Music and Lyrics”, co-stars Hugh Grant and it opens Wednesday, Valentine’s Day. Hear Drew sing!
ACT 4: PAT FARMER’S “SURPRISE! YOU’RE ON TV!” – Pat introduces a clip from his new program.
We see Pat standing in front of his disabled car. The hood is up. He stops a passerby asking for help. The gent takes a look under the hood, and while he investigates the manifold, Pat Farmer slams the hood on the unsuspecting and innocent fellow. Pat smiles broadly and exclaims, “Surprise! You’re on TV!”
ACT 5:
It’s Ventriloquist Week:
Tuesday: Dan Horn and Orson
Wednesday: Otto Peterson and George
Thursday: Jim Barber & Seville
Friday: Brad Cummings and Rex
ACT 6:RICKIE LEE JONES: From her brand new CD, “The Sermon on Exposition Boulevard,” Rickie Lee Jones performed “Falling Up.”
And that was our show for Monday February 12, 2007.
There’s supposed to be snow tonight and then into Wednesday morning. My goodness, the weather reporters are giddy with glee, but pretending to be concerned about the approaching and possible catastrophic weather. How much snow is on our way? Between 2-5 inches. Please pray for us. Meanwhile, I’m running out to the supermarket to buy some powdered milk.
Ventriloquist Week 2 is off and running. The lineup looks great, but I was sort of hoping for a return visit by Spencer Horsman.
I’ll let you stew over that one for a while.
Phew . . . finally good news. All 6 lead actors and actresses are currently working on the Disney sequel, “High School Musical 2.” There were reports that some were holding out for more money and it now looks like they’ve all come to terms. Alright! “High School Musical 2” is set to premiere at the end of the summer.
A church in East Harlem is closing down, by orders of the Archdiocese, and the parishioners are not happy. 20 of them refused to leave Monday night. The cops were called. 14 eventually left and the 6 remaining were arrested. 2 others were arrested at another church in Yonkers that was also closing just north of the Bronx. I’ve heard of murderers being allowed sanctuary in a church. I guess trespassers are not allowed the same grace. C’mon, Archdiocese, you can’t have your parishioners arrested for sitting in their church. Keep doing this and people may start asking why you can’t afford to keep them open.
Happy birthday, Abe Lincoln!
- Lincoln was the first president to have a beard while in office
- Abe Lincoln’s mother, Nancy Hanks Lincoln, died when the family dairy cow ate poisonous mushrooms and she drank the milk
- A plot was developed to steal Lincoln’s body, so a secret society to guard his tomb was formed.
- Lincoln was the tallest president. He was 6 feet and four inches tall.
- Lincoln was shot on Good Friday.
- Lincoln had a cat named “Bob”, a turkey named “Jack”, and a dog named “Jib.”
- Lincoln was the first president to be photographed as his inauguration. John Wilkes Booth can be seen standing close to Lincoln in the picture.
- Lincoln was the only president to receive a patent, for a device for lifting boats over shoals.
- Lincoln’s brother fought in the Confederate Army.
- Abraham Lincoln was shot while watching a performance of “Our American Cousin” at Ford’s Theater in Washington, D.C.
- Lincoln’s favorite sport was wrestling
- Lincoln had a wart on his right cheek, a scar on his thumb from an ax accident, and a scar over his right eye from a fight with a gang of thieves.
- John Wilkes Booth’s brother once saved Abraham Lincoln’s son’s life.
- Abe Lincoln is the United States president most frequently portrayed in films.
Pitchers and catchers today. Ahhh, all is good once again in the world.
And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Albion, Pennsylvania, it’s Donald McCalmon
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • City Alters Statue of Liberty in Honor of Ventriloquist Week • Unknown to Sing with Justin Timberlake • Small Town News • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
