Hey, how about that Ball State game this weekend? The 3-6 Ball State Fighting Cardinals took on the undefeated #2 ranked Michigan Wolverines as a 34-point underdog in Ann Arbor in the 107,000-seat Michigan Stadium. How did Ball State do as a 5-touchdown underdog? They had a chance to tie the game late in the 4th quarter. They were thisclose. Final score:
Ball State Fighting Football Cardinals: 26
University of Michigan Wolverines: 34

And Dave’s promise of a shiny new nickel to anyone who could prove they were at the game . . . . well . . . . that’s off. A buddy of Dave’s in the Treasury Department said there is not that many nickels in circulation.

Reading up on the game, I found that there were actually over 109,000 at the game. Yikes. And Ball State was leading after the first quarter, 9-7. So if you think about it . . if it was a 15-minute game, Ball State would have won!

Next game for Ball State: Tuesday, November 14th vs. the Toledo Rockets. And you can see the game on ESPN2.

There were a lot of marathoners in the audience tonight. Sunday was the big New York City Marathon with over 38,000 runners participating.
The Men’s winner: Murison Gomes dos Santos of Brazil: 2 hours, 9 minutes, 58 seconds.
The Women’s winner: Yelaina Prokupcuka of Latvia: 2 hours, 25 minutes, 5 seconds.
And Lance Armstrong ran his first NYC Marathon, besting 3 hours with a run of 2 hours, 59 minutes, 37 seconds.
And we have Lance here tonight. The fat Lance Armstrong guy we always use rides a bicycle across stage and out through the back of the theater. Dave suggests the added weight on Armstrong was probably due to the carbo-loading.

IMPRESSIONIST WEEK: Of course, you know all about it: the week of November 13-17th it’s Impressionist Week on the LATE SHOW. Scheduled:
Nov. 13: Rich Little
Nov. 14: Fred Travalena
Nov. 15: Gordie Brown
Nov. 16: Frank Caliendo
Nov. 17: Kevin Pollak
I’ll be here. Make plans to make sure you are here, too.

And then, a vision appears behind Dave. It’s none other than Britney Spears in a brand new short sassy haircut. She says she was in town, is a huge fan, and just had to stop by. Dave thanks her for the sweet words. She realizes Dave’s take and explains she is not talking about Dave, but Will Ferrell. Does Dave know where she can find him? Dave suggests the green room. Britney runs off to find Will Ferrell.

Jack Hanna is on the show tonight and he has with him an animal which he believes is the largest of its kind in captivity anywhere in the world.
Continent of origin: Asia
Sex: female
Diet: usually eats rabbits, but has eaten chickens, goats, and pigs
Name: Fluffy
Is Dave going to tell us what it is? No. So Paul guesses: “Kirstie Alley?”
Big laugh from me.

Most pundits expect the Republicans to take a beating at the polls tomorrow. And judging from the latest campaign advertisement, it looks like the party might be getting a little discouraged.
We see a clip of the Capitol Building; people voting; stirring music; Washington DC.
Voice over: “We’re ‘givl’ed.’ A message from the Republican Party.”

SMALL TOWN NEWS
Classified ad from a Bowling Green, Kentucky paper: “Sofa in excellent condition. Never had kids, dogs, or drunks on it.” From a Salt Lake City, Utah paper: This isn’t a bad deal:
“Computer users needed. Typing and Word Processing from home. $45,000 an hour income potential.”
The Charlotte (North Carolina) Observer: “Wedding announcement: Sally Ann Gallagher and Christopher Marshall Lindsay were married August 3rd.” Wedding announcement photo is of Sally Ann and a dog. Says Dave, “That’s one smooth talking hound.”
From a Texas paper: “Debra Jackson said she likes shopping at the Dollar Palace because it is convenient and casual. ‘I don’t have to get all dressed up like I’m going to Wal-Mart or something.’ she said.”
The Tri-City Record (Michigan): “Dylan Raucci describes his Halloween costume plan: ‘I don’t know yet, but one idea I have is to be a Mexican. I can put on a sombrero and wear a boat around me and pretend I am crossing the border.”
The Valley Falls Indicator (Kansas): “Letterman fans Steve and Monica Mackison stopped at the Hello Deli and shopped at the CBS junk store for T-Shirts and Late Night coffee cups. Monica reports that Rupert G’s is just like the hole-in-the-wall place depicted in the show.” (Did you notice the photo-credit? . . . Mrs. Rupert G.)
Minot (North Dakota) Daily News: “Bill would enable blind people to hunt with crossbows.”
From a Hammond, Louisiana paper: “Piggly Wiggly grocery specials. Premium boneless bananas, 3 pounds for a dollar.”

Small town news – here’s something . . . in my local newspaper, why are the obituaries in the Living section? Am I right, people?!

WILL FERRELL: He too has dabbled in marathon running. He has run in 3 marathons: NYC; Stockholm, Sweden; and Boston. He broke 4 hours in Boston, his personal best. Afterwards, he was in the hospitality suite and one of the top finishers from Kenya was there sipping on a beer. Will asked his time and he said, “2 hours 20.” Sarcastic Will said, “That’s crap. You gotta pick it up.” The Kenyan answered, “Yeah, I know. Tell me about it.” Dave sized up the accent used by Will and asked, “Tell me again . . . was he Kenyan or Russian?” Will laughs and explains that Kenyan and Russian sound very much alike. Not many people know that.
Will says he could have done better in his earlier marathons but made a mistake with the carbo-loading. He was new at it and thought he was supposed to “corn dog-load.” Hey, if marathon running involved corn dog-loading, I’d be hitting the streets tomorrow!

Will is the dad of a two-and-a-half with another one on the way at the end of the year. Oooh, does Will have a photo of his little boy? No, he doesn’t. In fact, he rarely takes photographs of his young son. Instead, he’s hired a street artist, one you find on a Broadwalk, and have him create caricatures of his boy. Will shows some samples of the work. We see little Ferrell lifting weights, playing the tuba, windsurfing, and playing pool. Will and his son win a lot of money in bars playing pool. No one suspects a 2-year-old to be a pool shark.
Will’s film, Stranger Than Fiction, opens Friday. Dave lauds the funny but poignant film, saying more than once how well written it is. And the cast includes Dustin Hoffman, Emmy Thompson, Queen Latifah, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Gary Mule Deer. Gary Mule Deer? Will says perhaps he’s wrong about Mule Deer, but it quite sure he remembers seeing him early in the film. Was Will intimidated working with such greats in the film industry. Will says he was a bit, so he simply tried to be very helpful on the set. I laughed at this. I’ve been in situations where I was clearly out of my element; those around me much more talented than I. To cover, I just tried to be helpful in any way I could. If they didn’t like me for my lack of talent, maybe they’d like me for my willingness to help.
And this weekend, the busy Will Ferrell begins performing in revival of “Phantom of the Opera.” Will takes center stage and sings a number from the Broadway hit. It was lovely, stunningly lovely. What a talent, Will Ferrell. At the conclusion of the song, Dave presents Will with a dozen roses.

JACK HANNA – Director Emeritus of the Columbus Zoo. And he has a new TV show coming out entitled, “Jack Hanna’s ‘Into the Wild.’” What does Jack have with him tonight?
1. A badger – fierce – eats prairie dogs – is that good? Well, it’s not good for the prairie dogs. Prairie dogs dig a lot of holes, so if you don’t like holes in the ground, a badger is good.
2. African Grey Talking Parrot – the parrot has a larger vocabulary than Dave . . . at least according to Jack. Dave wants to be put to the test. Jack will say a word and Dave will repeat it, and then the parrot will repeat it.
“Meal” – Dave says meal. Can the parrot say “meal”? We don’t know because Jack is on to the next word. Jack then burps. Huh? Dave is confused. Jack burps again. What the heck is going on? I don’t know, and I still don’t know a day later. And then as if auditioning for the Late Show Impressionist Week, the parrot imitates a cat, a rooster, a chimpanzee, a spaceship, and a laser.
Somewhere in there Jack told a story about his naked wife.
3. Two marmosets – small monkeys. They are brought out on stage. Jack hands some snacks to Dave with the instruction, “Here, hold his nuts.” The marmosets crawl up onto Dave’s back and shoulders. While the marmosets are there, we get a good look at the fine hairpiece Dave wears.
And then back from commercial, we get to see the largest animal of its kind in captivity. Jack comes out with a large python draped over his neck and shoulders. He places it on Dave’s desk. And Jack opens up a small sack. Inside, a bunch of baby snakes. What could be more fun than a sack of snakes? It’s a big snake, all right, but it’s not THE snake. Jack calls for THE snake to be brought out on stage. 5 grown men and women lug a 300-pound snake out onto the stage of the Ed Sullivan Theater. Wow! Now that’s an impressive snake.

And that was our show for Monday November 6, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA!

I think the staff may be getting old. At one time, there would be at least a half dozen of “us” from the LATE SHOW who would run the marathon. Now, it’s only one . . . cameraman Fred Schimzu. This was Fred’s 7th marathon and he ran it in 4 hours, 57 minutes, 41 seconds; 37 minutes better than last year. I don’t know why more staffers don’t run the marathon. I would run it, but it’s too far. I would like to know what everyone else’s excuse is.

Call me old fashioned, but voting by computer makes me nervous. I picture a hacker mucking up the results. If that happened, all chaos would break out. I would find it very entertaining, but it wouldn’t be good for the country. I voted in one of those booths with the curtain and lever, the kind I’ve been voting on since I voted for Lew Lehrman for Governor vs. Mario Cuomo back in 1978(?). After voting, I bought 2 dollars worth of baked goods prepared by the Ladies Auxiliary of the Sparkill Volunteer Firehouse. The cookies and brownies were so much better than anything I saw in the voting booth.

I woke up Sunday morning at 4:30 AM for no reason. I couldn’t get back to sleep so I turned on the TV. I stopped on C-Span. I figured if this didn’t get me back to sleep, nothing would. On C-Span at the time was a gubernatorial debate from Maine. And in that short time, I found my new favorite politician. My favorite politician list is now up to one. Running for Governor from the great state of Maine is a guy named Phillip Morris NaPier. He was in a police shootout some time back and served time for that. He has since become a proponent for felons. But forget all that. The bearded and straight-talking gubernatorial candidate was very entertaining. At 4:45 AM, he was able to keep my interest and I found myself smiling and chortling at some of the things he said. I hope he wins. Of course, I say that as a New Yorker and not as a Maineiac. If I lived in Maine, I might have a different opinion. Check out his website at:
http://www.phillipmorrisnapier.com/

I have to commend the local and state politicians in New York this year. They did a great job in getting their message across. In fact, listening to Hillary Clinton’s campaign commercials, I can’t bring myself to vote for John Spencer for U.S. Senator. And John Spencer has convinced me that Hillary is not the one, either.
New York Governor-hopeful Elliot Spitzer tells me that John Faso wouldn’t make a good governor. I think he’s right. And John Faso has convinced me that Elliot Spitzer would not be the right choice. I think they’re both right.
State Attorney General Candidate Andrew Cuomo convinced me not to vote for Jeanine Pirro and Jeanine Pirro has convinced me that Andrew Cuomo won’t be getting my vote.
Right on both counts.
Great job, everyone. You’re all correct.

FACTS ABOUT ELECTION DAY IN THE UNITED STATES – I forgot where I found this. I cut and pasted without checking the source.
WHEN?
-- Election Day in the U-S always falls on the Tuesday after the first Monday in November.
WHY EARLY NOVEMBER?
-- For much of our history, America was a predominantly agrarian society.
-- Lawmakers took into account that November was perhaps the most convenient month for farmers and rural workers to be able to travel to the polls.
-- The fall harvest was over by November.
-- Spring was a busy planting time, and summer was taken up with working the fields and tending the crops.
-- In the majority of the nation, the November weather is still mild enough to permit travel over unimproved roads.
WHY TUESDAY?
-- Since most residents of rural America had to travel a significant distance to the county seat in order to vote, Monday was not considered reasonable as many people would need to begin travel on Sunday. This would have conflicted with church services and Sunday worship.
WHY THE FIRST TUESDAY AFTER THE FIRST MONDAY?
-- Lawmakers wanted to prevent election day from falling on the first of November.
-- November first is All Saints Day, a holy day of obligation for Roman Catholics.
-- Most merchants were in the habit of doing their books from the preceding month on the first.
-- Congress was apparently worried that the economic success or failure of the previous month might influence the vote of the merchants.
QUALIFICATIONS TO VOTE
-- You must be 18 years old.
-- You must be a United States citizen.
-- You must not be a convicted felon.
QUALIFICATIONS FOR PRESIDENT
-- Candidate must be a natural born citizen of the United States.
-- Candidate must be a US resident for at least 14 years.
-- Candidate must be 35 years of age or older.
-- Qualifications for presidential candidates have remained the same since the year Washington accepted the presidency.
-- These qualifications are laid out in the Constitution.
MISCELLANEOUS FACTS
-- As late as 1816, the citizens of nine states did not vote in presidential elections.
Instead, previously elected state legislators chose the presidential electors who then determined the outcome of the contest.
-- On June 5, 1919, Congress passed the Nineteenth Amendment, giving women the right to vote.
-- The 1965 Voting Rights Act created a significant change in the status of African Americans throughout the South. The Voting Rights Act prohibited the states from using literacy tests and other methods of excluding African Americans from voting.
Prior to this, only an estimated twenty-three percent of voting-age blacks were registered nationally, but by 1969 the number had jumped to sixty-one percent.

California University of Pennsylvania Vulcans: 41
Clarion University Golden Eagles: 14
Vulcan running back rushed for a school record 5 touchdowns.
Cal U. of P. is now 8-2.
Next game for the California University of Pennsylvania Vulcans: November 11th at home vs. the Indiana University of Pennsylvania

Tomorrow’s Previously Viewed Program:
From October 24, 2006; Show #2641. Tina Fey; Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg of ESPN’s “Mike and Mike in the Morning” show; and The Killers. Check the Wahoo Archives and make your plans accordingly.