Billboarding tonight's show, Dave mentions Chris Elliott's book now out in paperback, "The Shroud of the Thwacker." Dave calls it 400 pages of nonsense.

And speaking of nonsense, it's time for "Great Moments in Presidential Speeches"
We see FDR. We see JFK. We see George W. Bush: "I'd like to stay here all day but I gotta go to Vegas . . . something about what happens there stays there."

REJECTED FDA PRODUCTS
-The FDA knew immediately that something wasn't right with this one: Hebrew National Bacon
-Here's why the FDA was founded: So they could protect us from scams like Reduced-Fat Crisco - is this edible? NO!!! are the cries emanating from backstage.
-It was supposed to be the cookie that prevented tooth decay but the boys in Washington ruled against Crest Oreos
-It was an attempt to capitalize on current events, but political considerations killed Swanson's Crazy Man Dinners
-Some products require months of testing and study. Others are an immediate "nope." For example, Vlasic Olive Pits.
-It certainly looked cool but the boys in the lab knew that nothing good could come of the Nicoderm Eye Patch.
-"Pointless and stupid" that was the FDA's comment when they rejected this: Green Giant 'Just Cobs.'
-Frito-Lay tried to give consumers what they really wanted, but the FDA gave the thumbs down to Extra-Cheesy Doritos
-Sleep-deprived parents begged the agency to nix this one: Gerber's Redbull
-They're a trusted name in Mayonnaise, but they misjudged when they tried to enter the frozen dessert market with Frozen Mayonnaise Bars. Dave opens a Mayonnaise popsicle and tries it. Uh oh. Not good. Dave spits the frozen mayonnaise out of his mouth, and continues to do so. No matter how hard he tries, some bits of mayo remain. It was actually frozen coconut and I would rather eat mayonnaise. I never liked coconut, for much the reason exhibited by Dave. You can chew and chew and swallow, but bits of coconut remain.
-The removal of one 'S' from the name spelled doom for this breakfast cereal: Kellogg's Frosted Flake. Dave opens the box which contains only one large flake.
-First his book and television special were canceled, and then the government pulled the plug on: O.J. Simpson's 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, But If I Did Believe It Was Butter, Here's How I Did It."

TOP TEN: Messages On O.J. Simpson's Answering Machine
#10. "This is Robert Murdoch - you're not going to kill me, are you?"
#8. "Hey, it's Kato. Do you need to borrow some money?"
#7. "It's the morgue. Our numbers are down. You on vacation?"
#2. "It's Tom Cruise. Katie and I want to thank you for the lovely kitchen knives."

CHRIS ELLIOTT AND GERARD MULLIGAN: Chris is introduced and tagging along is our buddy and his, Gerard Mulligan. Chris answers the questions while Mulligan simply looks on.
Chris is just back from the big Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes wedding in Italy. He wasn't invited. He went and worked as a nanny for Tom and Katie. Dave is surprised. He didn't know that Chris worked as a nanny. Chris confirms; "I do nanny work and voiceovers."
The wedding was wonderful, though the goat balls were a mite too tart. Brooke Shields threw up on Chris. Something she ate? He thought so, but it turned out that it sickened her to see him. Travolta beamed in from somewhere, and Dan Rather came dressed as a cowboy. No one would ask him why.
So why is Gerry here? Chris and Gerry, both retired, have teamed up and produced a program for the Bravo network, called "Ghost Squad." Dave says that sounds similar to the "Ghostbusters" movie from the 80s. Mulligan chimes in for the first time and says it wasn't "Ghostbusters" but "Ghost Hunter" from which they stole the idea. Chris advised Mr. Mulligan to remain quiet.
We see a clip from their first installment of "Ghost Squad." It's Chris and Mulligan arriving at a home, a woman claiming it to be haunted by strange noises and happenings. Chris and Gerry investigate. The first thing Chris orders is a camera in the shower, and one in the toilet. They discover a staircase that may have not been there when they arrived. They experiment with night goggles which results in Chris tripping and falling in the dark. There's lots of screaming and fighting, but mostly pranks they pull on each other. We see the predictable bedroom scene which every major theatrical production seems to have. And then there's Chris doing a nude chant in attempts of ridding the house of the ghosts. The homeowner has seen enough and chases the two out of the house. They are soon pursued by law enforcement. Back to Chris and Gerry. Chris is very proud of the work, pointing out that they had to work on a shoestring budget. You would never know. "Ghost Squad" - look for it on Bravo.

HUGH JACKMAN: He's in the new film, "The Fountain", which opens on Wednesday. The last time Hugh was here, he was in the Broadway production of "The Boy from Oz" in which he win a Tony Award. The show went to his home of Australia and performed it on a much larger scale in front of 16,000 people. It fulfilled any rock stars fantasies he may have had . . . . but with sequins and dancing girls. He found when you perform 'The Boy from Oz' in a theater, people behave as you would expect in a theater; properly. When you perform in a 16,000-seat arena, the audience behaves like you would expect those in an arena to behave; like fans at a hockey game or concert. One woman of about 60 approached the stage to get closer to Hugh performing. She reached up to him and he decided to do the "rock concert" thing and reached down to touch her hand. Unfortunately, she latched hold of his hand and yanked him off the stage. He soon became the subject of a senior citizen mosh pit. Plans for Thanksgiving? Australia doesn't have a Thanksgiving, but Hugh and the family will be celebrating anyway with a trip to Egypt. His 6-year-old son is eager to go and is thrilled to be going to Egypt. He's hoping to bring home a mummy. I'm not sure how that'll go. I know it's hard to bring iced tea on board an airplane. I don't know about mummies.
Jimmie Johnson is on the show a little bit later. Does Hugh take part in motor sports? He admits to being an average driver, but when you're in show biz you get to do things you normally wouldn't get have the opportunity to. In the film, "Swordfish," he had to do some stunt driving. He learned how to slide the car right into a parking space, and how to do a 720 at 130 mph. It's simple. Just pull on the hand break.
"The Fountain" opens nationwide on Wednesday. It's a love story. In the clip, we see Hugh about to take part in a fight to the death. That doesn't sound like a love story . . . it sounds like a marriage.
Thank you. Thank you very much.

Back from commercial . . .
While Dave is talking about our next guest and tomorrow's pre-Thanksgiving show, cameraman Dave Dorsett steps in front of the camera and looking directly into the lens, starts checking out a tooth. Of course, this distracts Dave and the home viewer. Dave the host asks, "Dave, what are you doing?
Dorsett, still examining his tooth, says: "I think one of my crowns came loose and my dentist watches the show. How does it look, Dr. Feinberg? You can call me on my cell." Dorsett then returns behind the camera. Dave wishes him luck with his tooth and dentist.
I wonder if Dr. Feinberg reads the Wahoo.

ACT 5: "It's time for a Late Show Announcement. If you're interested in some of the products featured on tonight's Late Show, please log on to www.cbs.com/lateshow. (see a quartet of photos: lamp, basketball, toy train, a hat) Find our contact information; give our receptionist Art a call, and he'll be happy to send the information to you! It's just that easy.
This has been a Late Show Announcement.
Sweet butter!"

JIMMIE JOHNSON: The winner of NASCAR's 2006 Nextel Cup Championship. Jimmie says it is the biggest thrill of his career, bigger than winning Daytona or winning at the Brickyard.
Prior to winning the Daytona 500 back in . . . February? . . . Johnson's crew chief was suspended for making some illegal modifications to the car. Dave recalls it had something to do with putting a rocket in the engine. Jimmie's eyes light up at the thought. He says, "If we could hide it in there, that would be amazing. That would be perfect." C'mon, Jimmie, think of the kids. That's cheating. But it's only cheating if you get caught. Actually, the modification on the car had nothing to do with rockets. Following the time trials at Daytona, the rear window was found to be 1/8 of an inch too high which changed the aerodynamics. That car had to be scrapped and a legal car was used . . . which Jimmie used to win the Daytona. And now that car is sitting at the Daytona museum till the next winning car comes around.
The final race in the NASCAR series was this past weekend, and the first race next year is the Daytona 500 in February. It's not much of an off-season. So what is Jimmie going to do with his short time off? He says he's going to Paris . . . to participate in the "Race of Champions."
To end, we see the Nextel Cup trophy. It'll look great in the den.

And that was our show for Tuesday, November 21, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA!

You won't want to miss Wednesday night's big TV news story: "Wow! It's the busiest travel day of the year. Let's go to the airport and check in with some travelers."

Kelly Ripa and Clay Aiken had a bit of a misunderstanding the other day. Clay was co-hosting and thought Kelly was talking too much and he couldn't get in his question to the guest. Clay put his hand up to Kelly's mouth to make her quiet down. She didn't appreciate it. Will there be more to come of this? Don't know, but Vegas odds-makers are calling the possible bout an even fight.

Some turkey facts for downtime around the Thanksgiving dinner table:
Turkey Facts
-Ben Franklin, in a letter to his daughter, proposed the turkey as the official United States bird.
-In 2005, the average American ate 16.7 pounds of turkey.
-The heaviest turkey ever raised was 86 pounds, about the size of a large dog.
-A 15 pound turkey usually has about 70 percent white meat and 30 percent dark meat.
-The wild turkey is native to Northern Mexico and the Eastern United States.
-The male turkey is called a tom.
-The female turkey is called a hen.
-Wild turkeys can fly for short distances up to 55 miles per hour.
-Wild turkeys can run 20 miles per hour.
-Turkeys' heads change colors when they become excited.
-Six hundred seventy-five million pounds of turkey are eaten each Thanksgiving in the United States.
-Turkeys lived almost ten million years ago.
-Turkey feathers were used by Native Americans to stabilize arrows.
-Baby turkeys are called poults and are tan and brown.
-United States turkey growers raised 256, 270,000 turkeys in 2005
-United States turkey growers will produce an estimated 266,500,000 turkeys in 2006.
-Forty-five million turkeys are eaten each Thanksgiving.
-Twenty-two million turkeys are eaten each Christmas.
-Nineteen million turkeys are eaten each Easter.
-Male turkeys gobble. Hens do not. They make a clicking noise.
-Gobbling turkeys can be heard a mile away on a quiet day.
Now you can be like that mailman in "Cheers" . . . what's his name . . . oh yeah, Cliff. You can be Cliff.

New York Representative from Harlem Charles Rangel is pushing for a military draft. Newly elected Democratic leaders said they won't even let his proposal come up for a vote. Everyone seems to be against a return of the draft; Democrats, Republicans, Independents, Green Party, Libertarians, you name it, they're against it. (Pssst, it probably has to do with votes) Rangel's view: It's not about the draft --- it's about a shared sacrifice in our country. DING!

And now my take on this. . . keep in mind, I only know stuff about baseball. I know nothing about politics.
Charles Rangel is right. Too many of our soldiers are from the poor. Back in the Viet Nam days, I remember the argument concerning the war against the spread of Communism: a communist economic system would hurt the rich more than the poor, so shouldn't the rich be in the front lines of the fight?
And from the September 14, 2006 Wahoo Gazette:

"Here's something else I came up with while sitting in a 2-hour commute this morning: America isn't against the war; America is against the draft. If you want to stop the war, reinstate the draft."