Impressionist week: Tonight is Day # of Impressionist Week, featuring Gordie Brown. The rest of the week: Thursday - Frank Caliendo; Friday - Kevin Pollak.

And tomorrow night on our show we will have a 65,000-pound shredder and a 1985 Dodge Daytona. And what we will be doing will take 3 minutes . . . . "Sounds like my honeymoon" says Dave. Dave will give no further hint of what we have planned. And all this will take place LIVE via satellite from Wilsonville, Oregon. It'll be like watching it on TV.
Paul wonders, "Who will be there? Biff?" No, not Biff. "Jill?" Ha! No, not Jill . . . she's with another show right now. So who will be there? Uhhh, we haven't thought of that yet. Heck, we have all night to decide.

Last night, ABC premiered an exciting new game show called, "Show Me The Money." In case you missed it, here's how it works. We see a clip explaining the rules to "Show Me The Money."
Announcer:

"Wednesdays on ABC, don't miss the game-show sensation, 'Show Me The Money!' Forget those confusing briefcase and bankers, because 'Show Me The Money' brings the game-show format back to the basics. Here's how it works. We'll give you a category consisting of three questions: A, B, and C. Just choose a question, and either answer it or use one of your two passes. Once you decide to answer a question, select one of the 13 gorgeous Million Dollar Dancers, each of whom is holding a scroll with a secret dollar amount . . . except for one, and if your preceding answer was correct, that amount will be added to your total and you'll get a plus sign. But if your model is holding a dollar amount and your preceding answer was incorrect, the amount will be deducted from your total and you'll get a minus sign. Collect six minus signs and you're out of the game. Collect six plus signs, and you win a giant cash jackpot! But if at any time you choose the one dancer who's holding the killer card, it's game over! Unless your preceding answer was correct, in which case you can keep playing. Or, if you draw the killer card and your preceding answer was wrong, we'll give you final question to keep you in the game. It's just that simple! Williams Shatner hosts, 'Show Me The Money', Wednesdays on ABC"

GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: We see FDR. We see JFK. We see George W. Bush drinking in the applause of the audience. . . . and then wipe his nose.

REMOTE: RUPERT TAKES BOXING LESSONS - We sent Rupert out to The Trinity Boxing Club downtown at 110 Greenwich Street to learn the science in the squared circle. Does Rupert have any background in boxing? No. Has he ever had to toss someone out of the Hello Deli? No. So this is all new. Rupert, following the lead of the owner/instructor of the Trinity Boxing Club, Martin Snow, goes through the steps to become adept in the sport of boxing.
We watch Rupert:
-jump rope
-spar
-running attached to a rubber band
-Rupert: "Do you want to see my license?" Martin Snow: "License for what?" Rupert: (lifting his shirt sleeve to reveal his biceps) "A license to carry these guns."
-Rupert running down the street attached to a parachute.
-Rupert bouncing a heavy ball on the city sidewalk
-hammering a sledgehammer against a huge tire
-Rupert: "Let's take a look at the master." We see a clip within the clip of Gallagher smashing a watermelon.
-We see another guy skipping rope. Rupert: "Ooooh, look at the little girl jumping rope." The guy stops and makes a 6-inch lunge at Rupert. Rupert runs away.
-Take a punch? Sure, Rupert can take a punch. He is punched in the arm and nearly cries.
-Time to spar with Isaac. Rupert takes a good beating. But he doesn't give up. Rupert comes back home and practices on a heavy bag. Cursing the heavy bag, Rupert pounds away with away. We cut to see a Dave photo on the heavy bag, providing Rupert with all the incentive he needs.
-And that was Rupert at the Trinity Boxing Club in downtown Manhattan.

TOP TEN: Taco Bell Excuses - a man in Massachusetts became ill after eating a soft taco from Taco Bell he claims was tainted with opiates.
#3. Who cares? It's Impressionist Week
#2. Accidentally gave the guy Rush Limbaugh's order

GORDIE BROWN: Here for Impressionist Week. Gordie Brown headlines at the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas. We see and hear Gordie's:
George W. Bush
Larry King
Ozzie Osbourne
Sharon Osbourne
Sylvester Stallone - and why Adrienne was used and not the name Penelope.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Donald Trump
Mike Tyson
A celebrity golf outing with:
Jack Nicholson
Robert Deniro
Clint Eastwood
Garry Shandling
Christopher Walken
Jim Carrey
Tom Cruise

ELLEN DEGENERES: Can Ellen do any impressions? She says she can do the entire cast of "The Andy Griffith Show" and . . . WAIT! I love Ellen. Anyone who can do the Andy Griffith Show is aces in my book. In my post-college years following 7 innings of softball and 6 hours of drinking, my friends and I would often do Aunt Bee, Floyd, Barney, Goober, Otis, and my favorite, Howard Sprague. Ellen would have fit right in with us. Ellen treated us to her 'Columbo', 'Truman Capote', and Andrew Sisters. I'm no expert but her Truman Capote sounded more like the Andrew Sisters than did her Andrew Sisters.
Ellen is in New York City to do her show. It's sweeps and she's busy doing anything she can to drum up viewers. And in February, Ellen will be hosting the Academy Awards. Is she a fan of the movies? She is, but doesn't go to many. The last film she went to was "Popeye." She raves about Robin Williams. She admits she is too influenced by what she sees on the screen. After seeing the film, "Fast Food Nation", Ellen decided to become a vegetarian. And then she saw a movie with a scene of a family enjoying a steak, and it looked so good she went out and bought some meat. For the sweeps period, Ellen reveals that someone on her staff will be murdered. Who is the murderer will be revealed during the February sweeps. Hey, she's gotta do what she can. In many markets, "Ellen" is up against "Oprah." Ellen knows this is a losing battle. Heck, even she admits to watching Oprah. Dave and Ellen both profess their admiration for Oprah; Dave stating that he is intimidated by her greatness. Ellen and Dave salute Oprah. Dave claims, "If there is a girl who goes, it's Orpah." This confuses Ellen. Dave explains, "You know, 'You go, girl.'"
This Saturday, Ellen will be taping one of her shows right here in the Ed Sullivan Theater. She promises to leave the place nicer than she found it. It's what a house guest should do. Ellen says she had recent houseguests who broke her sofa. How can you break someone's sofa? Dave says, "Come on up to the place and I'll show you." Ellen is impressed with Dave as the smooth operator.

ACT 5: "Tomorrow on the 'Late Show,' 'Impressionist Week' continues with Frank Caliendo! Be sure to also catch Kevin Pollak! It's all happening on 'Impressionist Week.'"

+44: From their CD, "When Your Heart Stops Beating," +44 performed the rocking "When Your Heart Stops Beating." Good, hard-driving sound! And the drummer was using one hand!

And that was our show for Wednesday, November 15, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA!

Watching Rupert trying his hand at boxing made me think: "Who is the heavyweight boxing champion of the world?" Back in the day, there was no higher title than boxing's heavyweight champ. Today, no one knows who he is.

Oh, man, I think I forgot to mention this earlier this week. Letterman's Humor ran the 8th race at Delaware Park on Sunday. How did he do? "GOLDEN RAINBOW raced close up outside rivals and engaged for the lead on the far turn then was under a hard drive to prove narrowly best. TACTICAL GOLD saved ground setting the pace and fought it out gamely to the end. PARTHENON raced within easy striking distance and lacked the needed stretch response. EVIL STORM stalked the pace while saving ground and lacked a solid rally. WISE DIPLOMAT failed to threaten. LETTERMAN'S HUMOR prompted the pace for six furlongs then weakened in the drive."
1. #6 horse, Golden Rainbow
2. #2 horse, Tactical Gold
3. #4 horse, Parthenon
4. #1 horse, Evil Storm
5. #5 horse, Wise Diplomat
6. #3 horse, Letterman's Humor

What gives with the Google Logo on Veterans Day? I wondered why Google didn't have a soldier or a helmet or something to pay tribute to the American soldier when they adorn their logo so often for other holidays. I like asking questions, but I'm not good at following up. One Wahoo reader did the leg work. He writes:

"After reading your comments about Google ignoring Memorial Day and Veteran's Day, I was pissed, so I wrote them about it. I asked why they could recognize Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's birthday and Persian New Year, but not Memorial Day or Veteran's Day.

'Thank you for your note. We understand your concern and interest in seeing a Veteran's Day Google logo. If we were to commemorate this holiday, we'd want to express reverence; however, as Google's special logos tend to be lighthearted in nature, this would be a particularly challenging design.
We wouldn't want to create a graphic that could be interpreted as disrespectful in any way.
We have a long list of holidays that we'd like to celebrate in the future. We have to balance this rotating calendar with the need to maintain the consistency of the Google homepage. We really appreciate your feedback regarding the Google logo, and please be assured that we're actively pursuing ways in which we can acknowledge Veteran's Day and other such occasions in the future.'
Regards,
The Google Team

Hey, Fab Faux fans, there are new shows in the lineup:
TWO BIG SHOWS On November 25th
November 25th State Theatre New Brunswick NJ
Two Shows 4PM & 8PM
And tickets on sale for our WEBSTER HALL Legendary WHITE ALBUM SHOW December 26th and 27th

I have my favorite sports teams in baseball and football (Yankees and the football Giants). I follow them during the season and know their lineups and history. But how much can you follow the same team and learn anything new? That's why I like to pick a second team to follow. The team that will catch my interest is usually a team rich in history but not necessarily rich in winning. Or if they have won, they haven't won recently. And so I've decided that for the next 3 years, my new football team to follow, other than the Giants, are the . . . . . Detroit Lions. For as long back as I can remember, they've been a non-contender. Outside of running back Barry Sanders and QB Greg Landry, there's no one who sticks out in my mind from that team. 4 other guys come to mind now that I think about it:
Joe Schmidt - I don't know why.
Wayne Fontes - a coach who wasn't all that successful
Lem Barney - a great . . . . cornerback or safety..
And a guy who died on the field maybe 20 years ago. . . . probably 30. . . . Was it Chuck Hughes?
And that's all I know about the Detroit Lions. With a team that's been around that long, I should know more.
So, what gives with the Lions? What's their deal? And what's a good book I can read up on covering their history? Any Lion fans out there? When are the Lions ever going to be good? And how long before the networks get fed up with them and refuse to show them on Thanksgiving?

DONZ WEEK CONTINUES! Yes, even more Donz than you ever dreamed necessary!
*************************************************************
For Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Part III of V:
Thursday's a special night: ten years ago this very month, the LATE SHOW inaugurated its spankin' brand-new site on AOL. Contests, Rupert Jee's "Sandwich of the Week," and weekly interviews with staff were among the site's highlights, as well as AOL-exclusive audio clips with Dave, Barbara Gaines, and Bill Scheft. Also featured was a live chat room, where folks, who, like me, had nothing more productive to do, gathered (the charter went) to talk about Dave and the show. I lost a straw vote and was tagged as one of the room hosts.

The show's esteemed web producers soon wised up, though, and, 18 months later, debuted their real website (you're staring at it now), letting the AOL site whither and die.

But, for some reason, the live chat room still survives to this day (psst: don't let the esteemed web producers know this; they might shut it down), so every Thursday, at 10 PM ET, around 10-15 folks congregate around the e-campfire and share their exciting Dave stories: how Dave saved one poster's mom after complications from knee surgery, how Dave helped another get antibiotics for a prostate infection, how Dave offered transportation for someone else moving from Indiana to Florida and back again, and how Dave helped yet another poster decide which halter top to purchase. Transmission or weight problems -- all within Dave's gifts to heal. We all worship at the Shrine of Dave, its powers absolute and unforgiving.

Everyone's welcome to visit. Even Mentor. It's AOL-restricted, so you need to sign up to its free service to drop by. E-mail me for the AOL-related link. (donz5@aol.com)

After we've all exhausted ourselves, we splinter away into the night. At around 2 am, I suddenly remember that I have to provide the esteemed LATE SHOW web producers with my weekly "trivia" column for the following week's newsletter (available by subscription; see the site to join up!). So another hour passes as I strain the brain, figuring out what unique and fascinating tidbits I can make up that'll satisfy the starving beasts on the 12th floor in the Ed Sullivan offices. Some of the trivia are even true, and they get me off the hook for one more week.

Then, before bed, I'll do one last check of the day's sales and hits figures of Tad Lathrop's and my new CD, "Red Horizon," available for sale on CDBaby http://cdbaby.com/cd/lathropgiller

Amazon
http://makeashorterlink.com/?V597211EC

iTunes
http://makeashorterlink.com/?N2532566D

Good-sounding samples here:
http://tadlathrop.com/LathropGiller.html ********************************************

You may have heard rumors, but the rumors are not true. There are no plans at this time of replacing "Donz Week" with the unaired episodes of "Smith."
And I would check in to that live chat room of which Donz speaks. That's tonight and every Thursday at 10:00. Give the Donz an e-mail for directions.