It's Ventriloquist Week, at long last. Kicking off the festive 5 days will be Willie Tyler and Lester. Tomorrow for Ventriloquist Week, we will have Karl Rove and George W. Bush.

We've had our carpenter crew and construction crew working around the clock in preparation for Ventriloquist Week. And we created something just for them. Outside, we take a look at the stage door of the Ed Sullivan Theater. Some of the greatest entertainers in the world have walked through that door. And for this week only, we built a 2-and-a-half foot door for the dummies. We do what we can to make them feel comfortable.

Ventriloquists were common guests on the Ed Sullivan Show years ago. Even with that in mind, one of our stagehands made a startling discovery this morning while rummaging around the theater basement. Dave shows what was uncovered. It's a Charlie McCarthy dummy, but now it is only a skeleton. We know it was Charlie McCarthy because of the top hat, jacket, and monocle.

Chinese doctors recently performed the world's first transplant of a man's . . . "deal." It was a delicate procedure. That was obvious after listening to this announcement.
Announcer:

"In a miracle of modern technology, doctors in China recently performed the world's first penis transplant. As with any transplant, the greatest concern is that the recipient's body may reject the new organ, so if the doctors would like some advice on how one man's body can best accept another man's penis, they're encouraged to pick up former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey's new book, 'The Confession.'
Jim McGreevey: Penis recipient since 1978."

TOP TEN: SIGNS YOUR TELEVISION SHOW IS GOING TO BE CANCELED
#7. It stars the remains of Desi Arnaz
#2. The opening credits include the word "Hasselhoff"

SEKOU BUNCH: He's the castaway to be voted off the Cook Islands on Survivor. He's a jazz musician and Paul says he is familiar with Sekou's work. Sekou adds that he is friends with Will Lee. Sekou was contacted by the producers of Survivor shortly before the taping. He was told they wanted a jazz musician. OK. Why was he voted out? Sekou would like to think because the women were fighting over him. I read one report where he was described by the others as "bossy, yet weak." After he was voted out, Sekou caught a huge . . . Wahoo . . . which we have a photo of. There was enough fish there to feed a tribe for weeks. Who's sorry now.

WILLIE TYLER AND LESTER: Our first performers for Ventriloquist Week. The two were able to elicit quite a few laughs.
Where are you from? Woodstock.
Marooned in Alaska with a beautiful woman - he was used as a log in the fireplace.
Impressions: Lester did a great Willie Tyler.
A little ham bone.
Willie Tyler hums while Lester sings. Lester says, "I gotta see this!"
A sneeze that sounds like: "Who is she!!!"
And a soulful sneeze.
And we end with a nice song from Willie Tyler and Lester.

Our first installment of Ventriloquist Week was a success. Nice job, Willie Tyler and Lester. Tuesday night's Ventriloquist: Jay Johnson.

DR. PHIL: Dave begins his intro, "We had the ventriloquist, now let's bring out the dummy." Dave explains to Dr. Phil that he was just joking; explains that he make his living telling jokes; and nothing is meant by it. It's all in fun. Dr. Phil calmly rejoins, "Oh, I know a joke when I see one."
Dr. Phil has a new pet, something called a Korean Gindo (sp.) When he bought the dog at the pound, he was told it was a different breed. He then took it to the vet or someplace and was told that it was not what he thought, by a Korean Gindo worth thousands of dollars. Some people have all the luck. We get a gander at the doggie in the green room. It's a nice looking canine.
Dr. Phil wonders about Ventriloquist Week. He's not sure what kind of guy would want to devote his life doing a ventriloquist act, and he is especially confused over what kind of guy would devote a week of his shows to ventriloquists. Dave laughs, but defends the art of ventriloquism.
He's in his 5th season of his "Dr. Phil" program. What is this year's theme? There will be a Dr. Phil House where Dr. Phil can watch their every move. The house will be equipped with cameras throughout and Dr. Phil will be able to see the idiosyncrasies of the interaction and relationships. He will be able to step in immediately to make suggestions and point out the problems and how they developed.
Dave asks for some personal advice on how to handle Harry's going to school. Dave once wrote to Dr. Phil expressing how every day Harry gets older and seems to be moving further away. Dr. Phil explains that the boy isn't around for Dave's entertainment. It is healthy for Harry to go away to school and know you are there when he returns. How is Dave handling it? Says Dave, "I haven't cried this much since Nick and Jessica broke up.
And with that, Dave abruptly stands up and walks into the audience where he meets Dr. Phil's wife, Robin. Dave and Robin exit the theater together. Before they disappear behind the door, you can hear Dave tell Robin, "You know, you can do much better than that guy."

And that was our show for Monday, September 18, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA!

Pittsburgh Fun Fact: continued . . .
From Andrew Hoenigh of Rockville, Maryland:

"Pittsburgh is the only city where all the professional sports teams wear the same colors."

And did anyone watch the Army-Texas A&M game Saturday night? Army was a 4-touchdown underdog but had the ball on the 2-yard line with 9 seconds left down by 4. With no time-outs remaining, it was a sure bet that Army would throw on the next play and leave them with one more play if they did not score. But that's not what Army did. They ran the ball with 9 seconds left . . . a sweep . . yikes . . . and got tackled behind the line. Time runs out. Game over. By doing this, going with a run with 9 seconds left and no time outs remaining, Army gave themselves one chance to score instead of two chances to score. DOOHHH. If they wanted to run the sweep, they should have waited one more play.

And then watching the Yankee-Red Sox game Sunday night, the announcer said something was "almost surreal." Does that make any sense? "Almost surreal." Isn't "surreal" already an "almost"?

How do you pronounce "Sikula" - continued . . .
From Julie Morello of Madison Wisconsin:

"Sikula should be Finnish. Finnish is easy to pronounce once you know the few rules: 1. every letter has it's own pronunciation; no letters sound alike or have multiple pronunciations (unlike English); 'a' always sounds like "ah".
(the only problem is the 'y' & o-umlaut which sound similar to American ears; the difference is subtle)
2. There are many double letters in the Finnish language -- drag out double vowels & hit double consonants a little harder or people might think that you're talking about piss -- kussi, instead of a Christmas/spruce tree- kuusi.
I made that mistake once!
3. the first syllable is always accented So Sikula pronounced the Finnish way would be:
Si(t)-ku-lah (the 'I' sounds like 'I' in "it")"

The most popular guy on TV? According to my e-mail, it's gotta be last Thursday's Bob Zick.

It's a good thing Muslims didn't see the Pope's Mohammad doodles.