We've got the new and improved hose cam working, as it has all week. The new stream is heavy enough to give a good soak.

Back live to Dave, we see a caption under the host, reading "Dave Letterman: Host." It's for those who are clicking through the channels for the first time . . . ever.

It seems like everybody's putting out MP3 devices these days. One caught Dave's eye the other day. It's the iHop. Dave holds up a miniature pancake with tiny earphones coming out. The iHop. It's just a little bit different from the iPod.

Scientists are claiming they have the technology now to predict the weather 30 years in advance. Don't believe me? We took a look at something Dave saw on the Weather Channel the other day.
Cut to the Weather Channel. We see the forecast for August 2-4, 2036.

And now it's time for George W. Bush That's All Folks. We see the President attempting to give a speech but the words got in the way.

Einstein's Letters: You've heard about them, and we've got them here tonight. This collection of letters reveals that Albert Einstein was quite the ladies' man, with a dozen or so girlfriends all about town. Dave reads from the batch. Some are from Albert; some are to Albert.

-Dear Ethel, My Forbidden Love,
The only thing expanding faster than the fabric of time and space is the fabric of my pants.
Yours, Albert

-Dear President Truman,
Glad you liked the atomic bomb. I've got an idea for another superweapon, a full rocket full of bees. I'll keep you posted.
Best regards,
Albert Einstein.

-Kraft Foods
Dear Sirs:
After much research, I've finally perfected a formula for aerosol cheese. Please reply if interested.
Sincerely, A. Einstein

-My Dear Mrs. Roosevelt,
Are you sure you don't want to become mistress number 4. According to my calculations, it's just what you need. Call me.
Passionately, Al Einstein.

-Ingvar Kamprad, Founder and President of IKEA
Sir:
I've wasted an entire weekend trying to assemble this stupid coffee table! Give me a refund or I'll sue your nuts off.
A.Einstein.

-Dear Mr. George H. W. Bush and Barbara Bush:
In response to your question, I was indeed a slow learner as a child. Just be patient and I'm sure your son will catch up.
Best wishes, Albert Einstein

-Johnson & Johnson
Dear Sirs:
You conditioner does not work at all. My hair is still an unruly, flyaway mess. Please refund my purchase price of 25 cents.
Sincerely, Albert Einstein

-Editor In Chief, Journal of Advanced Physics
Dear Sir:
Did my manuscript already go to the printer? I just discovered a typo. It should read E=MC3.
Yours truly, Albert Einstein.

-Hershey Chocolate Company
Dear sir:
After sampling your new Milk Duds, I can honestly say, YOU are the genius, my friend.
Sincerely, Albert.

Cut to vt of Johnny giving a tour through the Ed Sullivan Theater Office Building. Johnny: "This is David Letterman's office."
Woman: "Really?"
Johnny: "He's taking a nap. He usually does that on the show." (open door to show a really old guy taking a nap. Back live to Dave)

DAVE: "Well, I guess you showed me."
JOHNNY: (to Paul) "Shaffer, it's Friday night and I'm not rockin' out to Loverboy. Help a brother out."
Paul plays music; Johnny dances off.

WILL IT FLOAT: Item: a 1.25 gallon jug of GoJo brand Natural Orange Pumice Hand Cleaner.
Dave: Float.
Paul: Sink . . . or maybe I have that backwards. Or maybe they both said float . . . I don't remember.
The Late Show models drop the GoJo into the Will It Float tank and it . . . . sinks . . . and floats back to the top. Answer: It floats!

TOP TEN: Dumb Guy Ideas For Lowering Gas Prices
#10. Make all roads downhill
#7. Invade Iraq

During the Top Ten, Dave notices a mysterious guy walking in the background in the Top Ten graphic. Who is that guy? Very mysterious.

JAMIE FOXX: He's in the new film, "Miami Vice" with Colin Farrell. Colin was on the show on Monday and Dave points out that soon after shooting "Miami Vice," Colin had to go into rehab. Jamie is quick to play the "Don't blame me" card. Of course, Jamie is right. The blame for too much drinking lies with the drinker. During the shoot, Jamie hosted a party for 3,000 and most of them were women. Jamie got up on stage and sang from his CD. He got Eddie Murphy up there. He called up the Shaq. And when he called up Colin Farrell, before he got to the "lin" in Colin, the girls went wild.
There have been very few in history to win an Academy Award and to have a #1 Album. Who are they?
-Frank Sinatra
-Bing Crosby
-Barbra Streisand
-Jamie Foxx
Hey, nice company. Dave tries to remember, "Is Ernest Borgnine on that list?"
I would have to check but I think the above are the only four to have an acting Academy Award and a #1 album, but I could be wrong.
To prepare for "Miami Vice," Jamie went out on an actual drug raid with the DEA, FBI, or the local PD, not sure which. Well, when they got there something bad went down. All hell was about to bust loose. Not until Jamie was about to wet his pants did he realize it was all a setup to give him a good fright. And it worked. A lot of people got a good "ha ha" out of that. Jamie wasn't one of them.
"Miami Vice" - now in theaters.

BIFF HENDERSON'S WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Biff: "From Vaudeville and Broadway to film and television, Buddy Ebsen did it all. An accomplished actor, singer, and dancer, he became a household name as Jed Clampett in ‘The Beverly Hillbillies.' A decade later, he delighted a new generation of fans as Barnaby Jones. And he continued acting well into his 90s on such current programs as ‘King of the Hill.' So, where is Buddy Ebsen today? . . . . . He's dead." BIFF HENDERSON'S WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

ACT 5 - KNOW THIS MAN?

TOM DREESEN: I love this guy. The earth could be splitting in two and he would still be working the crowd; telling stories; pressing the flesh. He's looking trim and fit. How's he do it? "I only eat when the Cubs win," says Tom. Yikes! Sounds like the guy's on a hunger strike.
How's his love life? Not so good, says Tom. "I couldn't get lucky if I were passing out pardons in a women's prison" he laments.
And I always enjoy his stories about his first wife, which usually begin "You remember my first wife . . . Plaintiff . . ."
Tom Dreesen - he will be performing his new one-man play "Shining Shoes and Sinatra" at the Center East Theater in Skokie, Illinois on September 9th.

And that was our show for Friday, July 28, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA!

Th th th th that's all folks. We're off on a two-week break. Tonight on my way down the elevator, I'll be thinking of one thing: Before I know it, I'll be taking this elevator up.

Next two weeks previously viewed programs:
Monday 7/31: Adam Sandler and Julie Chen. And a special top ten by U.S. Open golf champion, Geoff Ogilvy
Tuesday 8/01: Kate Bosworth and Broken Social Scene. Plus, Andy Kindler at the Rodeo and the Diet Coke/Mentos Experiment on 53rd Street
Wednesday 8/02: Sandra Bullock and Widespread Panic. And Know Your Current Events with a guy who doesn't want to play.
Thursday 8/03: Ann Hathaway, Jim Gaffigan, and Dashboard Confessional. And the Superman Challenge.
Friday 8/04: Kevin Spacey and The Streets. And the X-Treme Air Demo.

Monday 8/07: Meryl Streep and Yellowcard
Tuesday 8/08: Dwayne Wade; Amy Sedaris; and Morningwood. Dave in silly hats.
Wednesday 8/09: Kate Hudson and Patrice Oneal: And a tick expert.
Thursday 8/10: Uma Thurman; Morgan Spurlock; and egg catches on 53rd Street. And a giant fan.
Friday: 8/11: Denis Leary; David Wright; and The Wreckers.

Check the Wahoo Archives and make yo . . . . oh, never mind.