Cold Open: We find Dave with former Late Show writer Gerard Mulligan sitting in the green room.
Dave: "Did you hear about Christie Brinkley?"
Gerard: "Yeah, she's getting a divorce."
Dave: "What do you think? Should I get on that? Should I bag that game? Should I start the car? Should I see a wine list? Should I radio Mission Control? Should I assemble the troops at the border?"
Gerard: "You've never had sex before, have you?"
Dave: "No."

Tonight on the show, toy expert Shannon Ice. Dave: "Sounds like an Irish hockey team." Actually, it's spelled "Eis" but pronounced "Ice." She will have some of the best new summer toys on the market. Growing up, the only toy Dave had was a . . . . OK, Wahoo readers . . . longtime Late Show fans should know this. He usually mentions 1 of 3 things as his only toy growing up. I will accept 2 for the right answer. He mentioned two tonight. Answer below.
Answer: 1. a piece of string. 2. a sharp stick. 3. a rusty can. Dave mentioned #1 and #2 tonight.
Oh, I'm sorry, you said you saw that answer before you could guess. When I said "answer below" I meant immediately below. Oops.

Tiger Woods did it again. What a victory at the British Open this weekend. And he had to overcome some tough situations. Did you see this shot last night? We see Tiger lining up a 15 foot putt. As the ball rolls towards the hole, lightning strikes the ball thwarting its path to the hole. And yet he still went on to win the match. Amazing.

Wow! How about a hand for our talent booking department. Right here tonight, winner of the 2006 Tour de France, it's American cyclist Floyd Landis! A fat guy on a bicycle rides out on stage and then out through the back of the theater. Dave admits that he's heard that since the Tour victory, Floyd has let himself go a little bit.

Let's see what's going on with Rupert. We head inside to find Rupert wearing a Wake Forest t-shirt. Where'd he get it? "Oh, someone gave it to me." He gets most of his clothes that way. People send him shirts; Rupert wears them on TV; cycle continues. Hmm, how can I get onto the payola train?
Tonight we're playing "What's on the Ipod?" Rupert runs out like a bunny to find a contestant. Meanwhile, we have a show to put on.

Have you heard this strange story? An American woman who claims to be a descendent of Jesus is publishing a book. It's kind of an odd thing. Dave's got an advance copy.
He holds up the book, "101 Zesty Summer Salads," by Betty Christ. It must be true because right there on the cover is a photo of Betty, with the blurb, "Descended From Jesus."

Immediately after that, costume designer Susan Hum enters from behind Dave. She says to Dave, "I have a moist towelette." Dave, trying to be polite, says "That's nice, Sue." Sue continues, "Do you need a moist towelette?" Dave again tries to be polite and as kindly as he can, tells Sue, "No, Sue, I don't need a moist towelette. Thank you. I do not need a towelette right now. Thanks." Sue hesitates and blurts, "Punk." She exits.

Suddenly, the TV goes to a full screen CBS News Special Report. Back to Dave who has his finger up to his ear hearing the CBS News Special Report. Tense music. Dave finally says, "I'm being told now that was a mistake. There is nothing happening." Phew.

The Miss Universe 2006 Pageant was on last night. Donald Trump has made it bigger and better than ever though some say he's over sensationalized it too much. Trump believes it's classy as ever.
Announcer:

"On behalf of everyone at the Miss Universe pageant, we'd like to congratulate Miss Puerto Rico Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza on her well-deserved victory. It's not easy to defeat dozens of the world's most beautiful women, but Ms. Mendoza handled herself with elegance and grace throughout the contest, from the swimsuit and evening-gown portions, to the girl-on-girl boxing and giant snake wrestling competition. Congratulations, Miss Universe, and long may you reign."

Back to Rupert's. Playing tonight is Allie or Ellie of Caldwell, New Jersey. She's a recent graduate of Villanova. How do we play? Rupert listens to a song on his iPod. He sings along. Ellie has 30 seconds to determine what song Rupert is singing. Rupert puts the iPod earplug into his ear. Dave wonders why he only puts in one earplug? Rupert explains he needs the other ear to hear Dave. Not tonight, Rupert. Dave has Rupert put both earplugs into his ears and now Rupert cannot hear Dave at all. Rupert takes his cues from Ellie.
It's time to begin. Rupert starts listening to the song and begins to sing.
"I remember . . . I remember . . Something about that thing."
After a good while, Rupert takes out his earplugs. Dave tells him that he's not done.
Rupert continues to croon. Ellie's guess? She doesn't have one.
The song Rupert was singing? "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley.

NEW SUMMER TOYS - with Shannon Eis. There's still a lot of summer left and the kids are looking for something to do. Here are some of the best new shows on the market.
-string: Dave holds up an 18-inch piece of string. You can hold it chest high and let it swing.
-ESPN Grow-To-Pro Baseball: Set it up and it pitches a whiffleball to you. Dave grabs a bat and steps up to the plate. After a swing or two, Dave connects. A quick reload has Dave batting the balls into the audience, one hitting Frank, our stagemanager. And if you giggled when Dave first batted, maybe he missed because he was batting lefthanded and not his usual righthanded. Why did Dave bat lefty? Because the man is always aware of the camera. Batting right handed would have put his back to the audience. So, batting left was the way to go. The right thing to do was change positions; the whiffleball shooter to the right and Dave to the left.
-GR8 Tat2 Kit: It's a tattoo machine for kids. Shannon demonstrates on Dave's hand with a heart encircling the name "Regis." "Feels like I'm back in stir" says Dave.
-Oozinator - dual-mode blaster of bio-ooze compound. Dave has fun spraying the audience.
-Roland Martin Rocket Fishing Rod: the fishing rod shoots out the line up to 30 feet. No need to cast. Let Roland Martin do it for you. Dave explains, "It saves all the labor of casting." And then while reeling it in, "If the kid doesn't have the energy to cast, how will he have the energy to reel it in?"
-Fun N Foam Factory: It makes 55 cubic feet of foam in just minutes with tear-free shampoo. This does as advertised, but then what? It looks cool and does what it is supposed to do, but I imagine one would quickly approach an "OK, what next" attitude.
-Snoop De Ville - It's Snoop Dogg's 1974 Cadillac de Ville. It's one of those cars you run with a remote. Every remote car Dave has never works, until the most recent one he got that runs like the dickens. Dave takes the controls of the Snoop De Ville and runs it through the bubbles Fun N Foamy Factory bubble foam found on the floor. Back and forth Dave drives the Snoop De Ville through the bubbles. Each time through, the De Ville picks up more bubbles. Dave then recreates a Patrick Kennedy moment as he drives the car off the side of the stage.
-Super Soaker Mt. Tikisoki Water Volcano - the volcano gushes water out the top of its head; steam pours from the ears.
And that are just some of the hot toys this summer.

Here's another recipe from the book: "Lentil Salads for Lent."

COLIN FARRELL: He's in the "Miami Vice" movie, which opens on Friday. Colin is a dad of a 3-year-old who loves water toys, so Colin spends hours just hosing him down. The boy loves it and it's easy on the pocket. Back in Ireland growing up, Colin made some good coin as a country dancer making up to 800 pounds a week. Is that right? Can you really make that much? Or did I hear that wrong?
Colin bought himself a motorcycle, thinking he would become a motorcycle guy. He soon found out that he was not. He fell off this bike while riding in the southwest. It was a mechanical problem. He applied the front brake when he shouldn't have.
And he gave up the drink. Hasn't had a drop in 6 months and admits it was something he did every day for 15 years. He was juggling too many things at once and it all came crashing down on him. He also wanted to spend more time with his son, and wanted to remember the time he spends with his son. Will he ever drink again? Colin says he'll take it up again but at another level. Was he kidding? Time will tell. "Miami Vice" - with Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx - it opens Friday.

ACT 5: The band set-up for India.Arie.

Another recipe: "Hearts of Palm Sunday Salad.

INDIA.ARIE: From her new CD, "Testimony: Volume 1, Life and Relationship," India.Arie performed "There's Hope."

One final recipe: "Sermon on the Mount Mound of Cole Slaw."

And that was our show for Monday, July 24, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA!

I attended my 30th High School Reunion this weekend. The graduates of Ramapo Seniour High School in New York, class of 1976, had a blast. Good time all weekend. I didn't think it would be so easy to go on a three-day binge but I did it no problem. It's been a long time since I've gone to bed with a half-finished beer on the nightstand and then waking up in the morning and finishing it. And just like the old days, not a hangover to be seen. Sure, I drank too much but it was expected and I didn't want to disappoint. The reunion was Saturday night, but a lot of us got together on Friday to start things off. One thing that was different at this reunion from the others is when someone says they own a two planes and a helicopter and is the President of his company, you can now go home and Google it. And that's what I did. And I discovered my college pal was telling the truth. He did own planes and helicopters. Huh? How did that happen? He was just a regular guy when I knew him. How did. . . . what the . . . why, he's just . . . what happened?
And a lot of ex-girlfriends were there. I could feel the sexual tension. I later realized it was only indigestion. All in all, it was a great time. Good times; great friends. It was fun to see a lot of new old faces and everyone pretending everything's great. I spent most of my time telling jokes that weren't funny. They seemed funny to me at the time but I know better now. One guy made an entrance like Kris Kristofferson in "A Star is Born" which amused me. And some married guy was making out on the dance floor. Another guy was getting sick in the bathroom as I was leaving, so as you can see, it was lots of fun. Back in the 70s, the drink was very popular with the kids. The legal drinking age in New York was 18 at the time and most of us took advantage of that, much to the chagrin of those who turned 18 ten years later. It was because of us that the age was raised to 21. But I don't mean to make the reunion sound as if it was all about drinking. It was about meeting friends of your youth who shaped us to be what we are today. That's right. I'd like to think I might have had something to do with my friend owning two planes and a helicopter. Maybe it was something I said or did in gym class or in the cafeteria or in shop class. If so, I wish I would have listened to myself at the time. Well, everyone looked good; everyone had stories to tell. And I would like to do it again next week but I think I'll have to wait at least 5 more years. Yeesh . . . it was 12 years in school and now 30 years out. Something's not right; something is really not right.
After a weekend like that, I always ask myself the same thing: Do I need to apologize to anyone?

Last week I mentioned how I once rode on the subway from 59th to 181st while sitting right next to my wife. Not till we got up to get off did we realize that we sitting right next to each other. A Wahoo reader e-mailed wondering when taking the A Train, why don't I get on and off at 50th Street instead of 59th since it would be closer. Hmmm. He had a point. Why didn't I? Since I'm taking mass transit this week, I decided to take him up on the idea this morning on my ride in. The train pulled into 59th Street and I stayed on board. I stayed on for the next stop at 50th. I kept asking myself, "What was I thinking all these years?" Why would I get off at 59th when 50th is 6 blocks closer to the Ed Sullivan Theater. I soon had my answer as the A Train sped past 50th Street. It continued on 42nd Street. Of course, the A Train does not stop at 50th Street. I knew that, too. I'm not sure but I think I was "Punk'd."
One good thing came out of it, though. I saw a guy get on the A Train at 42nd Street carrying a surfboard. I don't think I ever saw that before in Manhattan.