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Saturday, July 01, 2006
Show #2584
By Michael Z. McIntee Change Text Color:
Black | White


Tom Brokaw; and Paul Simon.
PLUS: The Doors; Dave's Book Club; "Phantom of the Opera"; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; Late Show Fun Facts; Will It Float; and a top ten list.

During the pre-show Q&A, an audience member asked if The Doors would be making an appearance. The guy was interested because the last time he was at this Theater was back when The Doors were on the Ed Sullivan Show. Later in the show, Dave is handed a photo of The Doors appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show - September 17, 1967. Nice find by Pat Farmer.

Paul discusses The Doors appearance and the problem with the lyrics that night. Something to do with, "Girl, you couldn't get much higher."

From the "Television Heaven" website:

"Jim Morrison and his band The Doors were asked by Sullivan's director to modify their hit 'Light My Fire' by not using the line 'Girl we couldn't get much higher,' for fear the word 'higher' would sound like a reference to drugs. Morrison sang the song in its original version, with no changes. The Doors never performed on The Ed Sullivan Show again."
Paul Simon is on tonight's show. He was on The Ed Sullivan Show with Art Garfunkel on July 17, 1966.

Dave is starting something new. He's calling it "Dave's Book Club." The first book to be recommended by Dave is the new Barry Bonds book, entitled, "My Head Is Too Big For This Cover." Only half of Barry's head can be seen on the cover.

After 65,000 performances, 'The Phantom of the Opera' underwent a major facelift and re-debuted on Saturday in Las Vegas. Some of the changes are great but Dave is a little worried about one of them. We take a look at a promo for the show. Announcer:

"The longest running show in Broadway history, 'The Phantom of the Opera' has undergone its most exciting transformation yet. Come to the Venetian Theater in Las Vegas where we'll reveal even more breathtaking effects . . . a performance without intermission . . . and wait till we reveal the all new Phantom with the most misshapen face yet . . . . (cut to photo of Kenny Rogers) . . . 'The Phantom of the Opera' . . . enter Kenny!"
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: We see FDR's "fear itself" speech. We see JFK's "what you can do for your country" speech. We see George W. Bush's "Are you having burritos for lunch" speech.

LATE SHOW FUN FACTS - From Dave's buddy Ted at the BMI - Bureau of Miscellaneous Information
-No President of the United States was an only child
-Ants never sleep
-Cranberry Jell-O is the only kind that contains real fruit
-The most common form of elevator small talk involves discussing the size of a co-worker's ass
-On the moon, a person becomes 84% lighter and 12% shorter
-The longest yard ever measured was three feet, two inches (my favorite)
-The most commonly misspelled word in the English language is "Toyotathon"
-No one has ever written to a cooking show to request a recipe.
-The average midtown Manhattan window washer witnesses quite a lot of sexual activity
-Bill Gates has paid tens of millions of dollars to have his childhood bullies tracked down and killed
-One in three Americans will be buried alive
-The concept of "Soup of the Day" was invented by the Aztecs
-The common American eye chart contains several Dutch obscenities
-A pound of sand weight two ounces more than a pound of feathers.
-Leonard daVinci's notes and sketches contain detailed diagrams for the Wet-Nap
-Before the Titanic sank, 9 passengers had already died from tainted lox
-George Foreman has been on three juries, but has never been a foreman.
-80% of Americans have thought about their mail carrier naked.

WILL IT FLOAT? Tonight's item: a 50 pound bucket of chlorinated tablets. Dave says it will sink. Paul says it will float. The Late Show models drop the bucket of chorine into the Will It Float tank and it . . . . floats. Dave requests we revisit the bucket of chlorine tablets later in the show to see if it is still floating. Dave feels it will sink.

TOP TEN: Signs You're At A Bad Fireworks Display
#8. The only celebrity you could get is the Geico lizard.
#5. It's just a couple of guys yelling, "Ka-boom!"
#1. When you complain that it's over after an underwhelming two minutes, your wife says, "Tell me about it."

TOM BROKAW: Hey, the guy is letting loose since retirement. No tie! There's no rest for this retiree; lots of traveling; lots of work still to be done. Tom admits he needs to find the "No" switch. (He can borrow my wife's. Bah-dum-bum)
Tom has been asked to give the commencement address at a few graduations in his time. One message he tries to get out to the kids, fearing they spend too much of their free time in front of the computer, is to live a real life, not a virtual one. But over all, today's kids are astonishingly good; they are a remarkable generation. I quickly said, "That's his next book." And Dave says seconds later, "I smell another book." DING!

Tom has a Discovery Channel special on July 16th entitled "Global Warming: What You Need To Know." Tom says that people are finally coming to accept the fact that the globe is warming and it's happening faster than we thought. And we are a main cause of it. And it warming effect can be reversed. Has Tom seen Al Gore's movie? He has, and although there's a bit too much Al in it, it's a good movie with a good message. The sense of danger of global warming needs to expand from the science community to the general public community. From there it will spread to big business, who will get the scent of profit in the offering and pursue that profit. And then finally, politicians will jump on board and act as leaders.
While you're out buying one of Tom's books, look for his wife Meredith's cookbook, "Big Sky Cooking"; favorite recipes enjoyed on their ranch in Montana.

ACT 5: It's the bucket of chlorinated tablets. Fumes have developed and are spreading throughout the theater.

PAUL SIMON: From his new CD, "Surprise", the Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Paul Simon performed "Outrageous."

And that was our show for Friday, June 30, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA!

From Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, Maryland:

"Since they are replacing the newly slim Star Jones with the larger Rosie O'Donnell, instead of the Limited View, shouldn't it be the 'Obstructed View'?"`
We're off this coming week and I'm heading to Bermuda on a cruise. Lots of family and friends will be going on the trip. I haven't been cruising for quite some time. It's a relaxing week, but one thing about a cruise always bothered me. It's that dress-up night for dinner. Is that really necessary? Why a dress-up night? I like to keep my packing to a minimum when I'm on vacation. Having to pack a suit really gets my craw, and you know it's bad because I don't even know what my 'craw' is.
The first cruise I went on was on my honeymoon 18 or so years ago. Denise just quit smoking at the time and so we requested a non-smoking table for the late dinner seating. We sat at our table and met our 6 dinner companions for the week. Yipes. What a ball of dull they were. They hardest thing they drank was club soda. A bunch of yawners they were. Denise and I tried our best to get the ball rolling but we couldn't get the square blocks to open up and enjoy themselves at all. Two years later we went on another cruise. We made sure to request a smoking table even though neither of us smoked. We had a blast. Although their habit is smelly and disgusting, I've learned that smokers are a whole lot more fun than non-smokers.

Originally we were to go on the cruise the 2nd week in July. In the 2nd week, the cruise starts right out of New York. I can see the ship dock from my office. The past few years we would get two weeks in July and the second week would be perfect for the cruise. It would be a quick drive to the ship and the trip starts immediately. But Denise wasn't confident enough that we would be getting that 2nd week this year so she booked the cruise for the 1st week in July. The problem with that is it sets sail from Baltimore. The first week in July goes out of Baltimore. The 2nd week in July goes out of New York. Denise didn't want to take the chance. So Saturday we'll be driving down the Jersey turnpike to Baltimore to start our trip on Sunday. And as it turns out, we didn't get the 2nd week in July off this year. We did up until May but then it was taken away. Good call, Denise.
The weather forecast calls for a lot of rain next week. Luckily, it never rains in the lounge.

Oh, to settle a debate in the Late Show newsgroup . . . Dave picking up garbage on Broadway the other week . . . totally spontaneous. From start to finish.

Next week's previously viewed Late Show programs:
MONDAY: From May 24; #2562: Jennifer Aniston and Rob Zombie. Plus: New Toys
TUESDAY: From June 9; #2659: Michael Keaton and Wolfmother. Plus: Dave enjoys Coke Blok.
WEDNESDAY: From May 25; #2563: Halle Berry and Jesse James. Plus: Fleet Week Stump the Band
THURSDAY: From June 5; #2565: Lindsay Lohan; and Indy 500 champion Sam Hornish. Plus: Pat Farmer's Gas Saving Tips.
FRIDAY: From May 17; Show #2557: Bruce Willis; and Goldfrapp. Plus: Who Said It?

Check the Wahoo Gazette Archives and make your plans accordingly.

Hey, I'm on vacation!




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