While Dave is telling us who will be on tonight's show, you cannot help but see a smudge on the camera lens. It makes the show appear blurry. Dave finally addresses the problem by saying one of three things is happening:
-I'm nuts
-I need to change my eyeglass prescription
-Something is wrong with the camera.
Dave instructs our cameraman Dave Dorsett to fix the problem. Dorsett take some paper towels and Windex and wipes down the camera lens. After many sprays and wipes, Dorsett continues with even more sprays and wipes. Dave the host tells Dorsett that it is enough but Dorsett knows how hard it is to get camera time, even on CBS, and continues wiping down the lens. Finally, Dorsett is satisfied with the results of the cleaning. He then wipes the lens down one more time just for good measure.

North Korea may be preparing to test-fire a new kind of missile. Dave's buddies down at the Pentagon sent him a simulation of just what this missile launch may look like. It is top secret but Dave can't help but show the footage of the simulated North Korean missile launch.
We see Kim Jong Il. We hear the sounds of a missile or rocket ship slowing taken off. We see Kim Jong Il's hair fly off into space, leaving the crazed dictator bald. Yes, becoming unexpectedly bald could make anyone crazed.

Former Vice President Al Gore's documentary is doing so well, a sequel is already in the works and it's even more frightening than the original, "An Inconvenient Truth." Dave has a clip of the promo for the sequel.
Announcer:

"In 'An Inconvenient Truth', former Vice President Al ore showed us how carbon emissions are wreaking havoc on our planet. Now in his highly-anticipated follow-up film, Al Gore takes an in-depth look at an even more petrifying and unbelievable phenomenon: Gore's now fatter than Clinton. 'An Inconvenient Truth II: Gore's Fatter Than Clinton.' Coming soon."

LATE SHOW FUN FACTS: Years ago at Paul's wedding, Dave met a guy named Kenny or Moishe who worked for the Census Bureau. The Bureau gathers lots of facts about the population, not just the age, sex, and income. Oh, no. Kenny thought Dave could have some fun with the facts uncovered by the 2000 Census, and Kenny was right. Here are some Late Show Fun Facts.
-the oldest piece of chewing gum is 900 years old
-right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. This is greeted by applause, to which Dave comments; "Oh, it gives you a real sense of superiority, doesn't it?" I laughed
-Some worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food.
-For one week in 1920, the United States Post Office accepted bacon and other smoked meats taped to the corner of an envelope as postage
-The Dalai Lama has an extensive souvenir shot glass collection.

You probably couldn't hear this one because two tourists from Sweden entered chattering away. The woman gets behind Dave and the male snaps a photograph. They continue speaking Swede and exit.

-There is no combination of three coins that total exactly 25 cents.
-Global warming is worse on Tuesdays
-Craig T. Nelson's middle name is Teddy
-Before the advent of dental records, corpses were identified by jazz records
-Medicine bottle child-safety caps are also hard to open for short adults
-Because of shortages caused by the war, in 1942 triple-decker sandwiches were made with two slices of bread
-Christopher Welden of Columbus, Ohio is the only person to ever laugh all the way to the bank
-In Alaska, the dessert known as Baked Alaska is called "Baked Here."
-Prior to 1936, elevators only went up, not down.
-Though it remains open, no one has visited Epcot Center in 12 years.
-By law, firefighters in Nova Scotia are required to offer the people they rescue a blanket and a shrimp cocktail
-"The King of Queens" is loosely based on the relationship between Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun
-During a screening of Neil Simon's 'The Goodbye Girl' at the Vatican, someone asked Pope Paul VI to remove his hat
-No one can say for certain whether Jim Nabors is dead or alive
-Genghis Kahn is the only Mongol to have been Bar Mitzvahed.
-Moses' last name was Weintraub
-A child born in Africa has a 1 in 3 chance of being adopted by Angelina Jolie.

And that was Late Show Fun Facts.

Back from commercial, Dave has some more Fun Facts to share.
- 60% of the earth's weight is sofas
- the most common computer password is "Hot Peggy"
- NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman forgot to tune in to last night's Stanley Cup final.
- Scientists are close to developing a broken clock that's right three times a day.

Dave then billboards the new Superman on our show tonight, Brandon Routh. Dave saw the Superman movie, "Superman Returns" and found the special effect fantastic. Says Dave; "It almost made you believe that Superman really exists." We then hear the thoughts of our announcer, Alan Kalter.
Alan V.O.: "If he only knew. Everywhere I look I see a civilization being torn apart by evil and injustices. Even though I have been raised a human, I am not one of them. The time has come for me to fulfill my destiny. Who will save humanity in its hour of need? I will!"
Alan steps forward and rips off his clothes and proclaims, "I am Big Red!" Under Alan's suit we see he is dressed as a superhero, Big Red. Alan is in red tights and a gold cape. He is hoisted off the ground and into the air. Alan strikes a Superman pose as he is lifted. Inspiring music from Paul accompanies Alan's rise. Dave is confused by all this. When the music quiets, Dave asks, "Alan, what are you doing?"
Alan, now awkwardly aware of his surroundings, snaps back to reality and despondently responds, "Don't mind me, Dave. I'm drunk."

Alan remains hanging in flight throughout the show.

TOP TEN: Signs New York City is Becoming More Polite. In a recent Reader's Digest survey of 35 world cities, the people of New York City were found to be the most polite.
1. New York City
2. Zurich, Switzerland.
3. Toronto, Canada
Top Ten Signs New York City is Becoming More Polite.
#8. Whenever you step off a city bus, the driver gives you a friendly pat on the ass.
#3. "We're sorry" is printed on every Knicks ticket.

BRITTANY MURPHY: She's got a huge dance club hit song on the charts, the #1 dance club hit in the U.S. entitled, "Faster Kill Pussycat." It's on the Paul Oakenfold compilation CD, "A Lively Mind."
Brittany has become engaged since the last time she was on. She met her fiancé Joe during her last movie. He's very nice, very handsome, and her first impression on the guy was he always looked . . . . "tossed." Not sure what that meant, Dave asked Brittany to explain. She says he always looked like he just spent a night with a lady friend. He had the look of always being busy and a bit disheveled. When they met, Brittany was engaged to another fellow with whom she is still very good friends. Dave knows the other guy is no fool. He's keeping the door open just in case he gets another invite to the party. Brittany calls the breakup as becoming "disengaged." So Brittany liked Joe's manner and when Christmas came along she needed someone to decorate and put up the lights around her mom's house. Asking around the studio, many pointed to Joe as her man. He agreed and . . . . . things went on from there. Their first date was a drive on Mulholland Drive. They didn't want to rush in to anything but Brittany admits that she eventually "jumped the console" and started making out. Dave fondly reminisces, trying to recall the last time anyone's "jumped the console" for him. She and Joe now live with Brittany's mom and Uncle Billy. She likes being surrounded by people she likes and this arrangement fits her needs at this time, though she and Joe have to find the time and space for some private time. They've searched out secretive nooks and crannies around the house for that purpose. Dave's eyes light, "like on the dryer?" Dave pictures fun on the dryer, using the vibration from the unit to his advantage.
Brittany's song, "Faster Kill Pussycat" - look for it at your local dance club.

Dave met this fellow some years ago who has been a CBS Page for 39 years. Dave likes to chat with the fellow to find out what's happening, what's the word, at CBS. Dave welcomes, JOHNNY DARK.
Johnny enters to the music of Phil Collins. Dave begins to ask Johnny a question but Johnny quickly shushes him. Johnny sings the Phil Collins song.
JOHNNY: "'She seems to have an invisible touch, yeah, she reaches in and grabs right hold of you heart.' Damn! Phil Collins spoke for us all! I bet he's up there right now jamming with Janis, Jimi, and Kurt.
DAVE: "I don't think he's dead. I under you've prepared a little something."
JOHNNY: "That's right. It's a segment called 'A Minute with Johnny Dark.'
DAVE: "Let's take a look."
We see the video. It's Johnny sitting at his cluttered desk in his office.
Johnny: Would it surprise you to learn this legendary ladies' man was once married?
That's right, I had an old lady. 1979. We shacked up in a little place out on Three Mile Island. The land was cheap and the radiation helped me out in the bedroom."
A guy in a Tweety Bird t-shirt enters along with security guard, Stephanie, interrupting Johnny.
Johnny: "What do you want? I was on a roll."
Security guard, Stephanie: "Mr. Johnny. This man was on the CBS tour and lost his wallet."
Johnny: (to the guy who lost his wallet) "Sucks to by you, Princess."
Stephanie notices the Tweety-Bird wallet on Johnny's desk. She picks up the wallet. Stephanie: "It's Mr. Tweety Bird! Mr. Johnny stole the wallet."
Johhny: "Easy, Kojak. You have been watching too much 'CSI.' There's a perfectly good . . . ."
Johnny suddenly stands up and quickly exits.
Art Card: "A Minute with Johnny Dark." Back live to Dave and Johnny.

DAVE: "Johnny, you really shouldn't steal."
JOHNNY: "What is this, 'Highway To 'Givl'ing Heaven'? Hit it, Paul."
Paul plays music and Johnny dances out.

Alan Kalter, high above, applauds.

And now some Wahoo Gazette backstage fodder. Coming back from commercial before the Johnny Dark piece, Dave's microphone was not working. You could not hear Dave speaking at all. Uh oh. We went to black and the Control Room worked on the problem. This never happened before. After a minute of music from Paul, the Control Room gave the thumbs up on the problem and we were ready to come back. We returned with a bumper, music from Paul and back to Dave. Dave tries to say something but once again, nothing comes out. We can't hear a word that Dave is saying. Once again we immediately go to black, Paul and the band continues with the music, and the Control Room scurries to fix the problem.
And then we hear Dave saying, "I'm jerkin you. That was me! That was me! It's fixed!" What Dave did when we came back the second time was he just moved his lips and pretended to be speaking. But he wasn't saying anything at all. He wasn't really talking, just making it look like he was talking. We get him back on camera and he shows us what he did; flapping his mouth with nothing coming out. Dave liked his little joke.
Did he fool me? Nope. The first time we saw that Dave's microphone was out, I suspected something. I thought Dave might have been fooling. But I was wrong. There actually was a problem. I remember watching a NASCAR race years ago (I think). After the race the driver was interviewed; he in the pit, the interview upstairs in the booth. A question was asked and the driver started moving his lips but nothing came out. There was a brief panic until the driver quickly jumped in, telling the TV audience he was just kidding around. It was very funny. I was telling those in the shack where I watch the show this story during the first interruption. I thought Dave was just messing around the first time, too. When we came back and the problem still existed, I was very suspicious. As it turned out, the first microphone problem with Dave was real. The 2nd microphone problem was Dave messing around.

ACT 5: It's the Big Red; it's the Red Falcon, it's Alan Kalter posing as a super hero!

BRANDON ROUTH: He's the new Superman. And he's from a small town in Iowa.
Superman came from a small Midwest town called, "Smallville." Coincidence? Growing up as a teen in Iowa, Brandon would work the Iowa State Fair for ten days in the summer. It paid well for a teenager. One year he was in charge of making corn dogs. Another year he worked the Fair as a garbage man. That was great because he got to ride around in a golf cart. (I golf for the same reason) After one year as a student at the University of Iowa, he decided to go into modeling. He eventually went on auditions for commercials and ended up landing a role in a Christina Aguilera video.
How was the flying as Superman? Fun? Brandon says it was and is sure "Big Red" would agree. A shot of Alan shows him dangling and wanting to go home. This isn't Brandon's first foray as Superman. A few years ago he dressed as Superman at the Lucky Strike Bowling Alley Halloween Costume contest. He went at Clark Kent with the Superman "S" showing through his half-buttoned shirt. We see a photo of Brandon as Superman from years back. He won $100 for his work.
Dave has a few questions about "Superman Returns"; such as "From where is he returning?" and now that's he's back, will he stick around.
We see a scene from the new "Superman Returns" movie, opening Wednesday June 28th. The way Dave was setting up the clip, I was expecting a phony one. And I was right. Instead of "Superman Returns," we see an old black and white Superman before George Reeve got the part. Yes, it was a real original. I forget but I think in this clip Superman bends a rifle barrel. We then see the actual clip. It's Superman trying to save a huge passenger jet from crashing. Just when you think the plane is saved, the wing comes off. Isn't it always the way?

And that was our show for Tuesday, June 20, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA!

To ensure the correct pronunciation, I was telling those who needed to know that it's "Routh", like "mouth." And all day I kept thinking about Ralph Malph.

Paris Hilton has released her new single, "Stars Are Blind." I heard some of "Stars Are Blind". And now I wish I was deaf.

NBC had Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals.
ABC had the Miami Heat winning the NBA championship.
CBS had the Tonys.

Hey, Fab Faux Fans, they're coming to New Jersey!
Red Bank: Count Basie Theater on Saturday, June 24th at 8 PM.
Liberty Jam: Sunday, June 25th at Liberty State Park in Jersey City at 2:30 PM. Also performing will be Cheap Trick, George Clinton; Los Lobos, Patty Smith, The Smithereens, and more.
And on July 8th at Westhampton Beach in New York.
For more information, check out their website at www.thefabfaux.com

A now little something about the man after whom the theater is named.

June 20, 1948 Ed Sullivan's "Toast of the Town" debuts.
Every Sunday night for almost twenty-three years between 1948 and 1971, millions of Americans tuned in at 8 P.M. to watch a live variety show on CBS. The Ed Sullivan Show, with an assortment of acts ranging from stand-up comics to rock bands to bears riding on bicycles, was the most popular variety show of its time, despite being hosted by a man best known for his awkwardness in front of the camera.
First called Toast of the Town, the show debuted on June 20, 1948, at 9 P.M. It later moved to its familiar, earlier time slot so that children could stay up to watch it. Its name was changed to The Ed Sullivan Show in 1955.
In its debut, Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis performed along with Broadway composers Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II previewing the score to South Pacific. The host of the show, Edward Vincent Sullivan (1902-1974), was a New York newspaper columnist. Despite having experience as the master of ceremonies for various stage shows, he was notoriously stiff in front of an audience and was known as Old Stone Face. He would stand with his arms crossed or with his hands on his hips and mispronounce names. He could not sing, dance, act, or tell jokes—and yet the public loved him, perhaps because he seemed like them.

"Lizzie Borden took an axe
And gave her mother forty whacks.
When she saw what she had done,
She gave her father forty-one."