Just as Dave sits at the desk to billboard the night's program, a beauty pageant contestant enters and walks across the stage. Who? What? No one has any idea.

CBS aired one of those American Film Institute specials, entitled, "AFI's 100 Years … 100 Cheer." Did you see the promo?
Announcer:

"They raised our hopes, lifted our spirits, and made us stand up and cheer. They are the one hundred most inspiring movies of all time. Wednesday, join Hollywood's biggest star as they count down 'AFI's 100 Years . . . 100 Cheers.' Then stay tuned for 'AFI's 18 Years . . . 61 Hours of Your Life You Can Never Get Back: A Salute to the films of Steven Seagal.
Only on CBS."

GREAT MOMENTS IN ROBERT BYRD'S CAREER: Something new. On Monday, West Virginia Democratic United States Senator Robert Byrd became the longest serving U.S. Senator in history, surpassing Strom Thurmond. He's led West Virginia for close to 48 years now and will by vying for a 9 term this November. Here is one highlight of his great career.
Announcer:

"In 1964, Robert Byrd voted against the Civil Right's Act. This has been 'Great Moments in Robert Byrd's Career.'"

Dave was talking to one of his buddies, Kenny I think, down in Atlanta at the CDC. The bird flu is coming which will result in a possible pandemic. The only way to fight this pandemic . . . . . "sterilize your pans." Thanks, Kenny!

It's time for another installment of "Great Moments in Robert Byrd's Career."
Announcer:

"In 1991, Robert Byrd became the only Senator to vote against both of the country's only two black Supreme Court Justices. This has been 'Great Moments in Robert Byrd's Career.'"

And one more time, "Great Moments in Robert Byrd's Career."
Announcer:

"In 1942, Robert Byrd was unanimously elected as the 'Exalted Cyclops' of his local chapter of the Ku Klux Klan. This has been 'Great Moment in Robert Byrd's Career.'"

Suddenly, the boom microphone appears over Dave's shoulder. Then it begins knocking at stuff on Dave's desk. Then it hits Dave once or twice. The boom mic continues to create havoc. Dave, angry and confused, remarks to our boom microphone operator, Al Norwood, "Al, what are you doing?" Al answers, "Sorry, Dave . . . just bored."
We hear Paul lauding the fine read by Al. Dave is fine with the explanation; "Oh, OK, as long as there was a reason."

Dave is getting another Patrick Kennedy update. We have LIVE footage of Congressman Patrick Kennedy . . . . driving home from the marina. Are we ready for the feed? Yes.
We cut to a shot of a car zooming down a desert highway. The driver loses control of the auto and the car crashes into one car and then careens off the road, kicking up dust and dirt. Dave receives word that everyone is OK.
Did you "Play the Dave"? Watching the clip of the car in the sandy desert, I said "Who knew there was a desert in Washington DC?" Seconds later, Dave said, "I never knew there was so much sage brush in Maryland." He then expresses his surprise at a desert in Maryland. I won at "Play the Dave."

Back from commercial, Dave introduces something called, "The NBA Finals Quiz." We sent a camera crew down to Dallas for Game 2 of the NBA Championship Finals of the Dallas Mavericks vs. the Miami Heat. We then created this quiz. Our costume designer Sue Hum then walks out holding a rope with a loop at the end. What is she doing? She explains, "I have a goat." She doesn't have a goat, but she repeats, "I have a goat." Dave plays along with the obviously confused costume designer.

Some questions of the NBA Finals Quiz
-(kids shooting baskets)
"If you make three shots in a row:
A) you win a prize
B) you get a concession stand discount
C) you get signed by the Knicks.

Somewhere during the quiz, we got another interrupt from the Miss Ohio beauty pageant contestant. She walks across stage and out the other side.

-(working crew with a bucket)
"This worker has to:
A) organize the cleaning supplies
B) distribute equipment to the maintenance crew
C) deliver clean urine to the players

Dave looks over at Sue Hum. He says, "You know, Sue, I really don't need a goat. Thanks, anyway." Sue hesitates a moment, then says, "Heartless prick." She turns and exits with her imaginary goat.

-(shot of Dr. Phil at Game 2)
"A good title for this scene is:
A) "Celebrity Spectator"
B) "Phil's With Excitement"
C) "Basket-Bald"

-(guy talking to sexy lady)
"It's a good bet that this man is:
A) asking for directions to his seat
B) making post-game plans
C) offering her fifty bucks to 'Dirk his Nowitzki'

Back from commercial, good news. Dave says he just received news that the goat has arrived. Yes, Sue Hum was to actually have a goat but the goat didn't get here on time. But as we say in show business, "the show must go on!" So we just pretended to have a goat. Did you notice?

Uh oh, the copier in the shack is busted. While Colbert and Cuban were on, I was busy elbow-deep in the machine. After a half-hour, Jill Goodwin suggested, "Did you try the area in the back for the paper jam?" Even though the area in the back was not "area 4", I checked it anyway just to make Jill happy. Lo and behold, how about that! The hidden paper jam was found in the area in the back. Nice going, Jill. Why did you wait to make that suggestion? Were you entertained by my frustration?

STEPHEN COLBERT: From Comedy Central, "The Colbert Report", Monday thru Thursday at 11:30 PM. May I suggest you TIVO it. He also stars in the soon-to-be-released film, "Strangers with Candy."
Stephen is the dad of 3; ages 10, 8, and 4. Lovely kids, but they are dreadful disease carriers. When one gets the germ, they pass it on from child to child to parent to parent . . . and then it starts all over again. A recent 15-hour drive to South Carolina started out real bad when . . . . HOLD IT! A 15-hour drive with 3 kids under 10? Well, Stephen, you deserve what you get. Unless you plan on making the 15-hour drive in 5 days, it's not a good idea. Of course back when I was little, we would make that 15-hour drive . . . AND LIKE IT! We never thought of complaining. It was not an option. But today's kids, you can't drive past a rest-stop without "Oooh oooh oooh, McDonalds!" Anyway, 10 minutes into the 15-hour trip and one of the young ones decided to have a stomach virus. On the way home, same thing.
Stephen was the keynote speaker at the White House Correspondents Association Dinner back in April. How did that go? He spoke using his on-air persona of an uninformed confused supporter of Bush. . . . much like the President himself. His speech didn't go over too well, but Stephen likes to look at as the audience so enraptured with what he had to say that they remained totally silent so to miss a single word. Ahh, yes, The Pretending of the Mind.
Stephen stars in the film "Strangers with Candy" which opens Friday. It also stars his old friend Amy Sedaris. They met while working at the Second City Comedy Club in Chicago? One of their earliest collaborations was for McDonalds, singing the entire menu to the tune of . . . . I forgot . . . was it Beethoven's "Ode to Joy?" Anyway, Stephen remembers most of it and performed a bit for us. It made me hungry. We see a clip from "Strangers with Candy" and it looks odd and funny. It's about a 46-yeaer-old ex-drug addict (Amy) who returns to high school to get her diploma. It opens here in New York City on Friday.

MARK CUBAN: He's the billionaire owner of the NBA Dallas Mavericks. His team is in the NBA Finals vs. the Miami Heat. You can see game 4 tonight (Thursday) and Mark Cuban will likely get as much camera-time as Shaquille O'Neal. TV has a tendency to beat a thing to death. I watched a bit of Game 3 and Cuban was on more than the power forward.
Mark enters wearing a Pittsburgh Steelers jersey, #7, in honor of injured Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger who suffered an accident with his motorcycle the other day. Mark says of the helmet-less motorcycle-riding Ben, "Get well, get smart." Looking over Ben's attire, Dave remarks, "You don't look like an NBA owner; you look like you belong in the audience." How did Mark come into the money to purchase an NBA franchise? He always was in the business of making money, even in high school and college, and eventually started a technology department and then that turned into something which turned into something he was able to sell for a billion dollars or so. Oh, so that's how he did it. It sounds so easy!
Mark is known for his somewhat eccentric behavior on the sidelines as he watches his team. He's been fined millions by the league, and he is quick to point out that every penny he is fined, he matches that amount and gives it to charity.
Dave reads down a list of fines he's accrued and the offense. He doesn't deny any of them, but does explain his side of the story and the reasoning behind his behavior. Does he think NBA Commissioner David Stern will go crazy if the Dallas Mavericks win the championship? Says Mark; "Oh, I hope so."
Has Mark ever met our billionaire, Donald Trump? Mark scoffs and says, "You can have him. He tells a story of being invited to the Trump's office. Now most people have pictures of their spouse and family in their office. Not Donald Trump. In his office there is nothing but pictures of . . . . Donald Trump. It's just about what you would expect.
Game 4 Tonight in Miami. Dallas leads the series 2-1. The city of Miami doesn't like Dallas. I think they're still sore over Super Bowl VI.

ACT 5: It's Miss Ohio with the actual goat. She was to walk the goat across the stage but the goat was not going along. After a few soft tugs on the rope, Miss Ohio and the goat return through the guest entrance from where they started.

NEKO CASE: From her critically acclaimed new CD, ""Fox Confessor Brings the Flood," Neko" (pronounced Neeko) performed "Maybe Sparrow." During her la-di-dahs, she reminded me a little of Edith Piaf.

And that was our show for Wednesday, June 14, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA!

Remember my disappointment in Google for not having recognized Flag Day for June 14th? They didn't have one of the animated cartoons over their Google logo like they so often do for other holidays. I wondered why. And then I received this from Robert Podfigurny of Syracuse, New York.

"Apparently Google didn't recognize Memorial Day either!" http://newsbusters.org/node/5580

I'm driving home last night and this is what I found myself thinking:
If the population of the United States ever goes over a billion, won't that create problems with our Social Security numbering system?

Is it a good idea to stack your Teflon frying pans on top of one another? I just bought a new set and wondered if the bottom of one pan could scrape at the Teflon on the pan it sits on.

You know about the new office furniture I put together this past weekend. We also had new carpet installed. Denise asked the carpet guy if we should get one of those carpet protectors for the chair to glide on so it doesn't wear out the rug. The carpet guy said it wouldn't be necessary. This made me happy because I didn't want to go out and spend more money for a carpet protector. And then I thought . . . . why would a carpet guy want to protect a carpet? Wouldn't he want it worn out so I would have to buy another carpet in 5 years?

I rarely watch NHL hockey anymore, but of all the championship series in the major sports, the Stanley Cup finals are still the most exciting.
The NHL was big-time popular in the late 70s and 80s. So what happened? I watched some 1976 New York Ranger hockey the other night on the MSG channel. The big difference back then was so few of the players wore helmets. At a glance you could tell who was Phil Esposito, who was Steve Vickers and who was Rod Gilbert. The players were recognizable; their identities weren't hidden under a helmet and a mask and eyeguards. This made the game more appealing to the fan.
And I've often questioned the idea of protecting athletes by giving them more protective equipment. Yeah, it's probably true, but I know that the more protective equipment you wear, the more physical you can be. The protection keeps you from getting hurt when hit, but it also protects you from being hurt when doing the hitting. Less protective equipment would result in less physical and aggressive play, and maybe that would be a benefit. For example, in football, if the helmets weren't so good there would be a lot less tackling leading with the helmet. Checking in hockey wouldn't be so violent if the players weren't allowed to wear helmets. Hockey became really violent when half the players started using helmets. . . . . or maybe I'm way off. I don't know.

I still haven't gotten over the Flag Day omission by the Google site logo. I guess they consider themselves "international" now, but if that's the case, why celebrate Thanksgiving? Google, nothing but a bunch of Pinkos!

Evolution of the United States Flag
No one knows with absolute certainty who designed the first stars and stripes or who made it. Congressman Francis Hopkinson seems most likely to have designed it, and few historians believe that Betsy Ross, a Philadelphia seamstress, made the first one.

The Pledge of Allegiance
I pledge allegiance to the Flag
of the United States of America,
and to the Republic for which it stands:
one Nation under God, indivisible,
With Liberty and Justice for all.
- The Pledge of Allegiance (1954 - present)

The current Pledge of Allegiance (above) has undergone several minor revisions since it first appeared in print in 1892 in a Boston youth magazine as follows:
I pledge allegiance to my Flag,
and to the Republic for which it stands:
one Nation indivisible,
With Liberty and Justice for all.
- The Pledge of Allegiance (1892-1923)

In 1923 the words "my Flag" were changed to "the Flag of the United States," then to "the Flag of the United States of America" in 1924. In 1954 the words "under God," were added, bringing the pledge to its current form.
During the recital of the Pledge of Allegiance stand at attention, facing the flag, with your right hand over your heart. If a man is wearing a hat or headdress, he should remove it, and hold it in his right hand to his left shoulder. Uniformed persons (military, police, scouts, etc.) should remain silent and render the appropriate salute.

- In 1983, the world's largest flag was displayed in Washington, D.C. The flag, which measured 411 feet by 210 feet, weighed 7 tons! Each star measured 13 feet across!