As Dave billboards tonight’s show, a couple of hooligan skateboarders cross in front of his desk. When Dave tells them to get lost, one snipes, “Get bent, old man.” Damn kids.

Have you tried the new Coca-Cola Blak? It’s your familiar Coca-Cola but now it also comes in coffee flavor. It’s Coca-Cola Blak. By leaving out the “C” in blak, Dave says the street cred on this is tremendous. But Coca-Cola didn’t get this successful by resting on its laurels. Have you seen what they’ve come with now? It’s Coca-Cola Blok – the first soft drink that doubles as a sunblock. It’s great for summer. Dave opens the bottle of Coca-Cola Blok and squirts the contents onto his desk. He then laps up the Coca-Cola Blok. Mmm. Coke is it! The World Cup kicked off earlier today, and we thought what better time than now to show off our LATE SHOW World Cup Preview! We see World Cup graphics, triumphant trumpet music, lights, and bells and whistles. Then . . . . nothing. That’s all we have so far.

Those darn skaterboarders come back out skating in front of Dave and disrupting the show. Dave tells them to scat. One barks back, “Bite me!”

As the skateboarders disappear, Paul asks for a hit of the Coca-Cola Blok. Dave gives him a squirt and Paul rubs it into his head and face. Without the natural block of follicles, Paul needs the help of a sunblock and is curious about the Coca-Cola Blok. I’ll wait to see what Paul thinks of it before I try it. After Paul rubs his head with the Blok, Dave exclaims, “You look like a honey-glazed ham.” Dave then offers a bit of warning to Paul, “You’re going to regret that in about 3 minutes.”

The Palestinian head guy has given Hamas a week or so to recognize the state of Israel. Hamas came out with an announcement. Something about not recognizing Israel, and not recognizing Al Gore either, since he’s gained so much weight.

I lost the script to the above joke. I’m not sure how the joke went but I think it went something like that.

It’s time for LATE SHOW Fun Facts:
- More people are killed each year by bees than by snake
- human thigh bones are stronger than concrete
- dolphins sleep with one eye open
- candy cigarettes are just as harmful as real cigarettes
- Scientists who’ve been studying pigeons say they’re definitely up to something.
- in the late 1920s, the Periodic Table of the Elements briefly included Paprika.
- in Denmark, it is illegal for two members of the same family to own the same shirt
- the first material used in breast implants was cookie dough
- in Westchester County, New York, there is a barber named Tony DeBarber
- A significant majority of birthday wishes involve lesbians
- radio industry researchers have found that office productivity doubles on ‘Two for Tuesday’
- Most Americans wish they had more than one rake
- 39% of American income is spent on onions
- After Bingo, the second most popular recreational activity at Senior Centers is leg wrestling.
- you can be arrested by the postal authorities for licking self-adhesive stamps.
- At any given moment, some 20 million American men don’t realize their fly is down
- 75% of fisherman say they’d rather not be fishing.
- the fastest animal in the world is the chicken
- the first telephone number in history was “2”
- the llama is the only animal that saunters
- there’s never been a Jewish person named Vince
- at a party in 1856, Abraham Lincoln and Pope Pius IX accidentally left wearing each other’s hats

Back from commercial, one more LATE SHOW Fun Fact:
- Once every 15 minutes a drunk guy calls a radio station and requests Aerosmith

If you’re keeping score at home, the first 3 LATE SHOW Fun Facts were real.

Dave met this guy at Paul’s wedding many years ago. He was a CBS Page then and he’s still a CBS Page. His name is Johnny Dark, and he’s the oldest CBS Page.
Johnny Dark. Dave struck up a friendship with the guy and he’s here tonight for a visit. Johnny enters.
Dave: “Johnny, I notice you have something new on your jacket.” (it’s those yellow/gold yarn things on the shoulders.)
Johnny: “Oh, yeah, I got a promotion.”
Dave: “Congratulations.”
Johnny: “Ah, it’s one of those horse-‘djoy’ promotions where they give you epaulettes instead of a raise.”
Dave: “I’m sorry.”
Johnny: “It’s okay. (tapping his epaulettes) Because of these babies, last week the morons at U.S. Air let me pilot a 737.”
Dave: “Well, Johnny, it’s no wonder why you’re moving up in the company. Anyway, I’m told you’ve prepared something?”
Johnny: “That’s right, America. It’s time for ‘A Minute with Johnny Dark.’”
Dave: “Roll it.”
We see a clip of Johnny’s “A Minute with Johnny Dark.” He is sitting at his desk in a messy office. It’s sort of like Andy Rooney’s minute on 60 Minutes.
Johnny: “I got a letter here from Anthony Mills, a college student asking how Hollywood can justify spending 250 million dollars on a film when our schools are grossly under funded. (fake cry) ‘Oh, boo hoo, I don’t have any textbooks.’ If you don’t like it, drop out! Or are you a nerd? I bet you’re a nerd!”
(Johnny hears the music of Herbie Hancock’s “Rockit”)
Johnny: “Uh oh. Uh oh. When I hear the music, I can’t help it!” (Johnny starts dancing the robot. After a few moments, he stops.)
Dave: “Okay, Johnny. What was with the robot?”
Johnny: “Uh oh! Did somebody say, ‘Robot’?”

Johnny dances again, robot-ing off the stage.

It’s always nice to see Johnny.

One more time, the skateboarders ride through, interrupting the show. They didn’t have a line so they didn’t say anything. Dave scolds, “Nothing to say? Hey, you’re not so tough when it’s not on cards!”

WILL IT FLOAT? Tonight’s item: 97 ounce can of evaporated milk. How much does that weigh? Alan starts to figure out . . . . 97 ounces . . .. 16 ounces in a pound . . . then stops when he realizes 97 ounces is a liquid measure and not a weight of mass. Alan admits, “I have no idea.” Dave and Paul both agree that it’ll sink. The LATE SHOW models drop the evaporated milk into the "Will It Float?" tank and it . . . . . SINKS!

MICHAEL KEATON: Mr. Keaton enters and makes a beeline for Paul. He grabs Paul’s head and licks it. And licks it some more. Mmmm. That Coca-Cola Blok looks to be a favorite among many.
Michael recently had the honor of giving the Commencement speech at a high school in Montana’s Denton High School. . . . . graduating class of 11. How did this come about? Michael has a place in Montana and the son of his dog trainer invited him. Michael thought about it and decided to do it. How did that go? When you’re a student in a graduation class of 11, the commencement speaker can see each and every one of the graduates. It’s not like being one of a thousand where you can goof off or catch a quick snooze. As Michael was giving his speech, he noticed one kid had quickly lost interest. The kids’ eyes were wandering here and there; a bit of yawning; wristwatch-checking; nodding off. You can get away with that in a large crowd, but there were only 11 kids in the entire class! Michael couldn’t help but notice. It’s why I feel more comfortable talking to a crowd of a thousand than to a crowd of 10. In a crowd of ten, I can see their boredom.
Did you “Play the Dave”? I did. After Michael’s commencement speech story, I said for Michael to get rid of the gum. His chewing bothered me just a little bit. At that moment, Dave reached under his desk and pulled out a box of tissues. Michael took a tissue and wiped his nose, thinking that’s what Dave wanted him to do. Nope. Dave explained to Michael, “The gum. Get ride of the gum.” I won at “Play the Dave”!
Dave knows Michael spends a lot of time out west. Come across any wild life? Any close calls? Michael says he and his son came across a grizzly bear while they were camping. He’s heard you’re supposed to assume the fetal position and play dead when confronted by a bear. He and his son ran like hell.
Dave offers this piece of heady wisdom when confronting a bear: “You don’t have to outrun the bear; you only have to outrun your buddy.”
Spending so much time in Montana on his ranch, Michael sometimes forgets how competitive life in Los Angeles can be. Everything is measured; especially your status in the social circles. The town is dripping with insecurity. So Michael was in L.A. recently and waiting in line at a small coffee shop. Nothing special about the place. Taped on the cash register is a Polaroid photo of a guy with his name on it with the title, “Customer of the Week”. Suddenly a guy walks to the front of the line, points angrily at the lady at the register and yells in disbelief, “Jeff is the Customer of the Week?!!!” The guy then storms out of the store. That’s life in L.A.
Michael Keaton is the voice of one of the cars in Cars. It opened today. I have it penciled in for the drive-in next week.

Act 5: It’s those pesky skateboarders bothering announcer Alan Kalter.

WOLFMOTHER: From their self-titled CD, Wolfmother performed “Woman.” And that was our show for Friday June 9, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA!

I was looking forward to a relaxing weekend. Then I was told I’d be participating in the Relay for Life; a walk and fundraiser against cancer. The walk takes place at a local high school and starts at 12 noon on Saturday and ends 6:00 AM Sunday morning. I’m part of a team of 8 or so. One member of the team has to be walking on the high school track at all times throughout the 18 hours. To learn more about the Relay for Life walk, check out:
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/par/
content/PAR_1_Relay_For_Life.asp

I received this from a chap named Don Giller. He offers this oddity:

“Jeremy Piven's last appearance on LS was October 29, 1996 -- LSwDL #686.
His next appearance on LS was 06-08-06.”

On the Google site today is a little animated shot of soccer players over the Google logo, in honor of the 2006 World Cup. Google does that a lot. On Valentine’s Day, they’ll have hearts adorning the logo; Thanksgiving they’ll have a turkey. On Shakespeare’s birthday they’ll have Shakespeare. Last year there was something like Water Appreciation Day and they had a waterfall cascading over the Google logo. June 14th is coming. We all know that June 14th is Flag Day. Last year, Google decided to ignore Flag Day. Will Google ignore Flag Day once again? We will find out this Wednesday. Flag Day is coming. Does Google know?

I like the New York Post but sometimes they go too far. Take a look at their front page today (Friday). Funny, but really now, is it appropriate for a newspaper?
http://www.nypost.com/seven/seven.htm

Ever since Howard has gone off free radio, my morning commute involves my tapping on the radio buttons like a typewriter. I’ll find something good but it never lasts. I found an old Beatles "White Album" cassette tape the other day in the garage and listened to it on Thursday and Friday morning in the car. I realize I don’t listen to “Helter Skelter” nearly enough. There’s good song after good song on the album. My commutes were actually enjoyable. And now I’ll repeat my suggestion I made a few weeks ago. Go to a bar this weekend. Head over to the juke box. Plop in a nickel or whatever they charge these days to hear a song. Find the Beatle’s White Album. Play “Revolution 9”. Then sit back and watch the reaction. Go ahead. What’s the experience going to cost you, a dollar? Go out and do it and then report back to me. I want to hear your stories. That’s your assignment for this summer. I’ll give you till Labor Day. And you can’t play it and then tell everyone why you played it. Just play it and observe. C’mon, how many times can you listen to Patsy Cline singing “Crazy”? Play “Revolution 9” on “The Beatles” album, more commonly known at "The White Album."

And speaking of the Beatles, the Fab Faux will be performing “Abbey Road” in its entirety at the Downtown Auditorium at 41 Broad Street in Manhattan on Thursday, June 15th at 9:00. Get your tickets now.