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Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Show #2480
By Michael Z. McIntee Change Text Color:
Black | White


Bonnie Hunt; and Stephen A. Smith.
PLUS: the Transit Strike; a top ten list; and Would You Like To Sit in a Cab with Creepy Guys?

There's a Transit Strike in New York City. The Wahoo Gazette isn't striking, but we are exercising a work slowdown.
The Transit strike has made all New Yorkers find different methods in getting to work. Dave can understand this but was a bit surprised when he saw the following this morning.
We cut to a scene outside the Ed Sullivan Theater. A man is trying a get a taxi cab. Instead, he settles for a hot dog cart. He hops on and orders, "LaGuardia Airport."

Dave is curious about Paul tonight. Behind Paul are 3 strangers Dave has never seen before. Who are they? Paul explains, "These are guys I'm carpooling to work with because of the Transit strike."

It's Tuesday and tonight we're playing "Would You Like To Sit In A Cab with Creepy Strangers?" Taxi cabs during the strike are able to make multiple pick-ups during their day, so if you want to go from 14th Street up to 69th Street, the cabbie can stop and pick up additional riders along the way. It's an interesting way to meet new people. It can also be icky. Tonight, we're going to make it icky. We send Rupert outside to find a contestant. Meanwhile, we have some more stuff to get to.

New York City's public transit workers went on strike today. Many people were concerned that it would cause a catastrophe, but the city did an excellent job informing people about alternative transportation. We see a clip of what Dave is talking about.
Announcer:

"New York transit workers may be on strike but that doesn't have to bring the city to a standstill. So until the labor dispute is resolved, Mayor Bloomburg encourages New Yorkers to organize carpools with co-workers, consider sharing a taxi to and from the office, and take advantage of the city's Giant Monkey cross-town shuttle. New York and you: Working Together."
If the above joke wasn't placed between meeting Rupert and going back to Rupert with a contestant, I would have be big bucks that it would have been cut from the show. We ran long tonight and that looked to be the weakest piece of the night, but it serviced the purpose of filling time while Rupert found somebody.

Back to Rupert. With him is Anne of Tappahannock, Virginia. An interesting name, Tappahannock. Dave decides to call Anne, Anne Tappahannock. What is the origin of Tappahannock? Anne has no idea. What is Anne doing while in New York? She's just taking in the sights with her mom. Where's mom? She's out on 53rd Street freezing in the cold. Oooh, we can't have that! Get mom in here. Rupert goes outside and announces, "Where is Anne's mom? Is Anne's mom here?" Soon a lovely lady steps forward, claiming responsibility for Anne Tappahannock. Mom joins daughter and they happily will play "Would You Like To Sit in a Cab with Creepy Strangers." Rupert walks them out to the waiting yellow cab on 53rd Street. We have an interior camera set up like the ones you see on HBO's "Taxi Cab Confessionals" when what you really want to see is that show about a cathouse in Vegas. Anyway, the girls get in the cab, soon followed by two creepy guys. Mom and Anne are squished between the two creepy guys. They remain there for 30 uncomfortable seconds. The visual was very funny. And then they drive off. . . never to be seen from again.

Back from commercial, we learn the meaning of Tappahannock - means "town on the rise and fall of water."

TOP TEN: Signs You Chose the Wrong Guy for a Carpool
#10. Before starting the car, hands you an organ donor card.
#2. Never met him, yet his dashboard is covered with Polaroids of you

BONNIE HUNT: She's in the film, "Cheaper by the Dozen 2" - it opens on Wednesday.
Her tip to the mayor on how to beat the Transit strike: Bring back the paneled station wagon.
Dave: "That's a beautiful dress. Is that real?"
Bonnie used to be a nurse and tells a story about inserting her first catheter. And now my catheter story.
It was back in the mid-80s. I was on patrol with the NYPD. My partner and I get a call of a car break-in at 71st between Madison and 5th. When we get there, we find two construction workers just finishing up some "justice" on two . . . two . . . deserved criminal-types they found inside their van. My partner and I sized up the situation and concluded the perps had fallen and bumped their head. My partner took one guy to the stationhouse. I took the other one to the nearby hospital to get his bruises checked out. He had some internal bleeding so the nurse inserted a catheter. She was not being gentle at all. Over the curtain I was able to see how forceful she was being. The perp was screaming out, "Oh, my pee pee! My pee pee! Stop it! My pee pee!" The nurse did not ease up at all. She glared at the guy and snarled, "My car's been broken in to 3 times this year." With that, she gave one final shove on the catheter.
"Cheaper by the Dozen 2" - in theaters now.

STEPHEN A. SMITH: He's from The Deuce, ESPN2's "Quite Frankly with Stephen A. Smith. He's also a sports columnist for the Philadelphia Inquirer.
What's he got for us tonight?
Dave: "Colts?"
Stephen says they will win the Super Bowl. Dave is concerned that the San Diego Chargers defeated the Indianapolis Colts because they "figured them out." If the Chargers can figure them out, then someone else will likely do the same. Doubt is drifting into Dave's belief in the Colts. Stephen says he has confidence in the Colts, and Peyton Manning will win his first Super Bowl, the only thing lacking on his resume so far.
Terrell Owens? He got some bad advice from this agent, Drew Rosenhaus. Stephen says Terrell deserves the money, but that doesn't give him the right to act like a fool.
Ron Artest of the basketball Indiana Pacers: He's been placed on the inactive list, even though he is healthy and ready to play. His recent behavior and comments have made him damaged goods in the eyes of the Pacers. Stephen says the team knew Ron was a troubled youth and not that the troubles have come to light, the team needs to deal with him and help him. Stephen also informs us that now that he's on the inactive list, he'll sit out the year with pay. THAT'S WHAT I WANT! Damn.
Somebody get me in touch with Ron Artest's agent!
And in the Super Bowl? The Indianapolis Colts vs. the Carolina Panthers.

I like Stephen A. Smith - not because I may agree with him but because what he says he says with conviction, whether he's right or wrong. If you ask him who does he think will win next week's Colts game, he will tell you flat out and why. Other commentators and sports "experts" will say, "Well, if Seattle can contain Peyton and control their running game, the Seahawks may have a chance." And if you asked the same question to one of my 10-year-old daughters Dominique or Danielle, take your pick, they would say the same thing.
When a guy on the TV says, "If the Saints can put pressure on the quarterback and force a couple interceptions, they'll win," I scream out, "BUT WILL THEY? Do you think they will!? Commentate, darn it!" I actually heard this a few weeks ago from a 6 or 7-figure salaried sports guy before the Bengals played the Colts: "In order for the Bengals to win they'll have to outscore the Colts."

ACT 5: Congratulations to Late Show camera Operator Dave Dorsett on 40 great years at CBS! And congratulations to Late Show writer Joe Grossman who just gave his thirty day notice! Way to go, guys!"

And that was our show for Tuesday, December 21, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

Suggestion to the city: this next contract you negotiate with the Transit Workers Union . . . don't make it for 3 years . . . . make it for 2-and-a-half years or 3-and-a-half years. This way, the contract will expire in June. People can walk, bike, or jog to work in the nice weather. Plus, more people will be on vacation. If we are going to be inconvenienced, at least make us comfortable.
(ed.note: I wrote the above at home before coming to work Wednesday morning. I then read the following on the bus on my ride in, 2 hours later)

- Longtime city news reporter Pablo Guzman was discussing what he remembers about the last Transit strike in 1980. The New York Daily News reads, quoting Pablo Guzman, "Back then, one of the reasons why you saw former Mayor Ed Koch cheering everybody coming over the Brooklyn Bridge is it was warmer," Guzman said. "That's why the TWU (Transit Workers Union) contract runs out at this time of year. Because they learned from that strike that people will say, ‘we'll walk.'"

DING DING DING. If only the city knew then what I know now.

And once these taxi drivers realize how much they can screw the city, they'll really screw the city. There's a different fare system now in order during the strike. A couple who would normally pay a combined total of $6.50 to go 30 blocks now will have to pay $10 EACH . . . and there is no meter running. The fare is determined by the "zones" you travel. For their sake I hope they are making the riders pay in advance.

Every now and then I'll catch a few moments of the Jerry Springer show when I'm not careful. Man, oh man, that show is darn entertaining. It's one laugh after the next. It's what pro wrestling was years ago . . . a big spoof with enough reality to enable you to make pretend it is real. There are more twists and turns in one Jerry Springer episode than in a whole plate of tricolor pasta. I think I said it before:
watching the Jerry Springer show is not a guilty pleasure . . . there is no guilt at all. I love it . . . but only in small doses. What a hoot.

Thanks to Mike Stedham of Anniston, Alabama for pointing out a mention of Jim Carrey's arrest in the following website, photo included.
http://www.oanmedia.com/
I haven't checked yet this morning (Wednesday) but I'm told there are other photos of Jim's arrested floating around the internet.

Today's coincidence. Monday's show - Rupert finds a contestant to play "Would You Like To Sit in a Cab with Creepy Strangers." He finds a woman named Anne from Tappahannock, Virginia. Tappahannock, we learn, means "town on the rise and fall of water." Jump ahead to my ride home on the bus after the show. I grab a U.S. News and World Report for the trip. I read in the November 28, 2005 issue about a "Modern-Day Thomas Jefferson" from Virginia, Governor Mark Warner. The article states he is a businessman who "dabbles in farming and winemaking at his Rappahannock Bend farm." Anne the contestant was from Tappahannock, Virginia. Virginia Governor Warner has a farm in Rappahannock Bend, Virginia.

This is what I found about Tappahannock and Rappahannock:
-From a St. Margaret's website:

-Tappahannock, Virginia:
"In 1608, this area was first visited by Captain John Smith. The area was inhabited by Native Americans and when Captain Smith attempted to land here he was fiercely driven back to his ship. It was a Native American village and so he gave both the river and the village Native American names. The river became the Rappahannock, which meant 'rise and fall' of water, and the village became Tappahannock, which means town on the 'rise and fall of water.'
About two hours separated my first hearing of the town "Tappahannock" and my first reading about Rappahannock.

Oh, I had another small coincidence today. Before getting on the bus Monday morning, I decided to grab Sarah Vowell's "The Partly Cloudy Patriot" to read on the bus. Then on my ride home while reading the U.S. News and World Report, I read in an article: "Senator J. William Fulbright titled his critique of Lyndon Johnson's Vietnam policy 'The Arrogance of Power'; Johnson returned the favor, calling his former friend a 'sunshine patriot.'"
When I got home I Google "sunshine patriot." I found it originally came from Thomas Paine's "Common Sense" -

"These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph."
General Washington himself found it so uplifting that he ordered it to be read to all his troops.
Sarah Vowell's titled her book with Thomas Paine's "sunshine soldier" in mind.





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