We started the week with him and we're ending the week with him. It's the guy on fire! Dave says he's here in town on business. He's making good money, unfortunately, all his money is going towards new jackets.

There's a very interesting guy here at the Late Show. He's been a CBS Page for 38 years and you know he has a lot of great stories of what he's seen over the years. We say hello to Johnny Dark.
DAVE: "Hey, Johnny, It's good to see . . .
JOHNNY: (watching a mini video-iPod; interrupting Dave) "Hang on, numbnuts. Show's almost over." (Johnny continues to watch the iPod; laughing)
JOHNNY: "Man, I'd nail every one of those Desperate Housewives."
DAVE: "I see you bought one of the new video iPods."
JOHNNY: "You honestly think I could afford a video iPod on the salary I make at this dump? Dip-djoy. I found it in the audience after the show."
DAVE: "Are you going to return it?"
JOHNNY: "If by 'return it,' you mean 'pawn it and get a whore' . . . . then yes."
DAVE: "That's awful."
(Johnny lights up a cigarette)
DAVE: "There's no smoking in the theater, Johnny."
JOHNNY: "Remind me to bring that up next time you blow smoke up a celebrity's ass."
DAVE: "Let's talk about something else. Did you vote this week?"
JOHNNY: "Did you get a brow lift? I haven't been in a voting booth since '86! Long story short, my pants got caught in the lever and I got arrested for indecent exposure."
DAVE: "I see. Do you have anything planned for the weekend?"
JOHNNY: (beat) "Plans?" (beat) "Yeah, I got plans. If you don't mind your own business I plan to kick your ass. Play me off, Squeaky!"
(Paul begins some Twist music - Johnny does the twist then changes to riding a pony when Paul changes his tune. Johnny exits riding a pony)
DAVE: "Johnny Dark, ladies and gentlemen."

LATE SHOW WEEK IN REVIEW
1. McDonalds has announced a change: they're putting nutrition information on the packaging of their food. And that's not all. We take a look at this commercial Dave saw today.
Announce:

"At McDonald's, we care about our customers' health! That's why we'll now be putting nutrition information on our food packaging. Also, we're including a flu shot in every burger!" (vt of guy eating a Big Mac with a syringe sticking out) "What could be healthier than that? McDonald's --- I'm Lovin' It!"

"President Bush is confident that Samuel Alito's extensive judicial experience will make him more viable Supreme Court nominee than Harriet Miers. However, as a symbol of the continuing support Harriet Miers enjoys from the President, he's asking Judge Alito to attend his confirmation hearings dressed as Ms. Miers." (photo of Alito; then change of same photo of Alito in a dress) "George W. Bush --- Having It Both Ways."

4. It was announced this week that disgraced former FEMA director Michael Brown is going to be on the Government's payroll for an additional 30 days. We take a look at what he'll be doing.
Announcer:

"Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff has decided to extend Michael Brown's service for another 30 days. Rest assured, Mr. Brown still fills a vital role in the Department. Uhhh, for instance last week. . . . he picked up lunch from Arby's for the department heads." (photo of Michael Brown with a food bag from Arby's)
"The Department of Homeland Security --- Still getting' it done!"

"The White House has consistently denied that Dick Cheney had any role in leaking the identity of CIA agent Valerie Plame. But now that the probe is zeroing in on his advisers, the Vice President would like to admit that he did reveal Plame's identity to his Chief of Staff. And while he's coming clean, he'd also like to admit that he knew Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction; Saddam Hussein had no ties to al-Qaeda; Halliburton was overpaid for government contracts; the 2004 election was rigged; the 2000 election was rigged; he faked his last three heart attacks; he once took a leak in the white House fountain; and he nailed the following White House interns." (fast scroll of names)
"Dick Cheney: Nothing to hide."

WILL IT FLOAT: And don't forget about the home game version of Will It Float - it makes a great stocking stuffer for people who have box-shaped feet. Tonight's item: 128 ounces of Ranch Dressing in a not quite plastic container. . . . closer to a polymer.
Dave doesn't like the Ranch Dressing all that much. Paul is a bit uneasy with this item, calling it a migraine trigger. He doesn't like it either. Alan, on the other hand, is a fan of the Ranch. But enough about their likes and dislikes, it's time to play the game. Dave and Paul both believe the item will float, based mainly on the polymer-like packaging. The Late Show models drop the 128-ounce polymer-like container of Ranch Dressing into the Will It Float tank and it . . . . FLOATS!
It's going to be a great Will It Float party tonight! It always is when Dave and Paul both guess right!

TOP TEN: Signs Your Neighbor Has a Pet Lion
My Top Ten info card read: "Police in Rio de Janeiro seized a 15-year-old retired circus lion from a man's home after neighbors complained of the constant roaring."
From the articles I read, the neighbors became concerned when they heard the roar of the lion coming from next door. One witness said he could hear the lion all the time. I put "constant roaring" in my description hoping it would spark a comment from Dave. Again, the blue top ten info card MUST accurate and MUST be short. I don't do it all the time but when I can I'll try to add the slightest "twist" to the description. And it MUST be a teeny tiny twist. It should never take away from the intent of the blue card --- to inform the public of the topic. It must be straight forward. That is the most important priority. After that, if I can color it up a little, I'll try to do what I can. And if I do happen to go too far, if the "twist" is too big, I'll know it immediately after watching Dave's read. And then I'll tone it back for about a month. It's a constant adjustment --- I want to add something but never want to add too much. I would rather add nothing than add one degree too much.
SIGNS YOUR NEIGHBOR HAS A PET LION
#1. First on his speed-dial: "Siegfried"

TED KOPPEL: From ABC's "Nightline." After 25 years, Ted is leaving "Nightline" for good on November 22nd. Why leaving? Ted ponders the question and answers, "I don't know." Oooooh, I'm going to try to use that answer to tough questions posed to me. Ted's been with ABC for 42 years, breaking in the same time as Charles Osgood. His first major news story was covering the 1965 Civil Rights march in Selma, Alabama. Dave points out that part of the allure of journalism is that it puts you at the doorstop of life-changing events.
It's been the changing of the guard in network news within the past 12 months: Brokaw leaving, Rather leaving, Jennings passing away, and now Koppel stepping aside. How will network news respond? Ted says that when Cronkite left and Huntley/Brinkley were gone and Chancellor stepped down, many wondered if network news would survive. It did, and it will.
Dave says he remembers the Iran hostage situation beginning in 1979 gave birth to "Nightline." It's what I always thought as well. Ted says the head of ABC News, Roone Arledge had designs on a late night news show like "Nightline" for some time. He was only waiting for the right time to introduce it. The hostage situation in Iran fit that bill.

What does Ted think about this impending bird flu pandemic? Is it for real? He thinks it is. And he thinks the government isn't telling us everything it knows. And the reaction to the outbreak could be catastrophic. Who will want to make deliveries of any sort to infected areas? If New York City is hit, will the city receive food deliveries from out of town? The transportation system would shut down! Like any New Yorker, Dave's main concern is, "Will it be easier for me to get in to work?" Ted says it will, then adds, "You'll be here (then pointing to the audience) but they will not."
Ted Koppel: He only has 7 shows left! He's done over 6,500 to date. Is that right?
With some quick tabulations on my part I find that there have probably been over 6,500 Nightline shows. Ted hasn't hosted all of them. Maybe that's what Ted said. I may have missed it.
365 days a year. 104 weekend night. 261 weekdays. 261 X 25 = 6,525 Nightline shows. Of course, the above are estimates.

ACT 5: The following is a Late Show Nut Allergy Warning: Tonight's episode of the 'Late Show' may contain trace amounts of peanuts, hazelnuts, and pecans, which may cause difficulty in breathing for those viewers who suffer from nut allergies. Pleased be advised. Stay with us."

TREY ANASTASIO: From his new CD, "Shine," the founding member of Phish performed "Shine." I liked it. I'll be looking into this CD a bit more.

And that was our show for Friday, November 11, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

I had another coincidence this week that meant something to me but will mean nothing to you. I'm watching Trey Anastasio perform during the taping on Monday. I say to myself, "He reminds me of the guy from 'The Loving Spoonful.'" Tuesday morning I open up the New York Daily News and there is a big article on "The Loving Spoonful."

Uh oh. I woke up this morning with the strange desire to learn how to play the squeezebox. Not one of those big accordions, but one of those smaller squeezeboxes that fit over your hands. I checked out the 30-button boxes on the ebay. I'm picturing myself in a pub with a Guinness by my foot as I squeeze out an Irish reel with friends. Someday I'll be 60 years old. Do I want to be 60 knowing how to play a squeezebox or not knowing how to play a squeezebox? Hopefully this desire will pass.

Congratulations, Boston Bill. The hit count to his website has blown past 1,500 and is well on the way to 2,000.
Want to see some photos from last night's program? Check out
http://community.webtv.net/bostonbill41/ThursdayStillShots
There's a counter at the bottom of page 2. Here's a new game . . . when will BostonBill's hit count surpass the Late Show Number. Friday's Late Show number was 2458. Friday morning, Bill's hit count was 1657.
Question: on what day will the Bostonbill Late Show photo site surpass the Late Show number? Tie Breaker: time of day. The winner gets nothing!

The other day I asked about the mathematical commutative and associative properties.
My girls were taught that (18 + 3) + 7 = 7 + (3 + 18) is an example of both the commutative property and the associative property. I believed it to be an example of the commutative property of addition only.

Wahoo Math expert Helen Read, not on the payroll, responded with this:

"It is indeed an example of the commutative property of addition. However, Danielle may have mentally applied the associative property of addition to arrive at the answer 28. That is, after changing the order from (18+3)+7 to 7+(3+18) (by commutativity), she mentally regrouped to (7+3)+18 (by associativity) to get 10+18=28. Frankly, it was kind of a dumb question. As given, commutativity was probably intended, but it makes a lot more sense to use associativity to arrive at the answer. That is, (18+3)+7=18+(3+7)=18+10=28. If the intent was to illustrate both associativity and commutativity, then the problem should have started with (3+18)+7. From there rewrite it as (18+3)+7 (by commutativity), then 18+(3+7) (by associativity), to get 18+10=28. -- Helen Read

Joel Bradbury of Medina, Tennessee:
-86 yr old WW II Vet.
-Drafted and served 43 months, 25 in ETO (European Theater of Operations) Medical outfit attached to Gen. Patton's Third Army.
-Have been mentioned in Wahoo more than once as one of Dave's oldest watchers.
-Have taped all shows since August 1984. Did not keep, just watched and erased. -We are dying at rate of over 1200 a day. So hope I can make it to Nov. 11, 2005

Edwin T. Simpkins:
-88 years old
-U.S. Army, private first class.
-Served in Italy and Yugoslavia during WWII

Did you thank a Vet today?