At the conclusion of the last joke, Dave invites us back to his home to see what this year's trick-or-treaters are wearing.
DING DONG: Dental hygiene has never been spookier than with this costume: it's a tangle of mint-flavored dental floss.
TREAT: a 4-pack of Red Bull

DING DONG: With season-ending injuries to every limb, there's no doubt about who this unlucky character may be: New York Jets Quarterback Chad Pennington.
TREAT: a few pair of old glasses found in the theater

DING DONG: Our next trick-or-treater is known to be a little late in arriving. Please say hello to: Disgraced FEMA Director Michael Brown.
TREAT: In-Flight magazines

DING DONG: It's eerie, it's ghastly, and it's certainly unexpected. It's: The thing in our sink drain.
TREAT: Yankee World Series tickets

DING DONG: Here's a costume that provides an unsettling glimpse of the future: It's a: Gas Station sign with changing gas prices.
TREAT: rack of barbecue ribs

DING DONG: Will he play a trick by launching nuclear warheads if he doesn't get a treat? Be very careful when you get a Halloween visit from: Kim Jong-Il.
TREAT: Lipitor

DING DONG: Don't let the height discrepancy fool you --- we're looking at true love. Yes, it's: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.
TREAT: aerosol cheese squirted into Halloween bag

DING DONG: She may have been glad to get rid of it, but for millions of kids, it's the hottest costume of the year. It's: Martha Stewart's ankle bracelet.
TREAT: 2004 tax forms.

And that was our New Halloween Costumes for 2005.

First things first: The President of CBS Television, Mr. Les Moonves. Les? We see a clip of Les as Pascual, cliff diver from a 1976 episode of "Cannon." Says Pascual: "My name is Pascual. My name is Pascual. My name is Pascual. My name is Pascual."

A few weeks ago, one of Saddam Hussein's defense attorneys was shot dead. Saddam issues this statement.
Saddam:

"The world was saddened by the death of this fine legal mind. Who did it? I did! I shot him when I saw . . . his bill! Am I right, America?! What a country! Remember fans, call 1-900-SADDAM for Saddam's joke of the day! And be sure to pick up Saddam's CD, 'You Might Be A Shi'ite!" Saddam Hussein --- keep on rockin' in the free world."

"Last week, our dear friend and colleague, Elmer Dresslar, Jr. who provided the voice of the Jolly Green Giant, passed away. Services for Mr. Dresslar will be held at the First Baptist Church in Canoga Park, California. . . and then he'll be buried in a . . . (deep voice) . . . Ho-Ho-Hole . . .in the ground. Farewell old friend."

BETTE MIDLER: Bette has long been interested in keeping New York City neighborhoods and parks clean and safe. She is the founder of the New York Restoration Project and for more information, check the website:
http://www.nyrp.org/
From the site:

"Renowned entertainer Bette Midler founded the nonprofit New York Restoration Project (NYRP) in 1995 with the belief that clean and green neighborhoods are fundamental to the quality of life and that every community in New York City deserves an oasis of natural beauty. Modeled on the Central Park Conservancy and other successful public-private partnerships, NYRP partners with individuals, community-based groups, and public agencies to reclaim, restore, and develop under-resourced parks, community gardens, and open space in New York City, primarily in economically disadvantaged neighborhoods."

She recently returned from Australia performing her "Kiss My Brass" tour. Upon arriving in Australia, customs asked, "Do you have a criminal record?" She answered, "Why, is that still a requirement?" Dave laughed, and appreciated her using up her Australian material. If you got it, you might as well use it. She has a new CD, produced by Barry Manilow, entitled, "Bette Midler Sings the Peggy Lee Songbook." What does she sing tonight? Peggy Lee's "Fever." I'll be giving the CD a long listen. I remember years ago seeing Peggy Lee perform "Is That All There Is?" and was impressed with her style and sound. I hope Bette's CD captures the mood.

REGGIE MILLER: Future NBA Basketball Hall of Famer and now analyst on the "NBA on TNT. Reggie spent his entire career with the Indiana Pacers and Dave loves the home town heroes. What does Reggie think of the NBA Commissioner David Stern's new dress code for the players? Reggie is all for it. Reggie came into the league when Larry Bird and Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan were stars. They presented a very professional and polished attitude and it is the way Reggie decided to present himself. The players represent the League and it's important to make your presentation a positive one. Reggie likes the idea of a dress code. Some in the audience applaud. Dave points out, "Hey, suit and tie fans!"

What about the brawl last year between the Pacers and the Pistons? By now we know Dave's view on the fight: It was the fault of the fans and the league: The fans for drinking themselves silly; the League for keeping the beer coming and coming to maximize profits. Reggie understands Dave's assessment but admits that when all is said and done, it is still the responsibility of the athlete to keep his head and not to get entangled with the fans. Reggie suggests it's the responsibility of the athlete to remain responsible even in light of those irresponsible. The fight resulted in suspensions on both teams, and one of Indiana's best players was suspended for the year, greatly hurting their chances at a championship. Reggie reveals that Dave called him and cried an offering of help, "What can I do, Reg? What can I do?" There was nothing Dave the fan could do.
Reggie's old coach Larry Brown is now coaching the New York Knicks. How will the Knicks do this year? Reggie thinks hard, wanting to say the right thing. Reggie says, "Remember when Bette was talking about garbage . . . .?" Ah, well said, Reggie, well said. Coach Brown will need a lot of time to break the Knicks of some bad habits . . . like losing.
As an analyst, Reggie will be working with the likes of Charles Barkley (Reg: "big head and a big belly") and Marv Albert. Dave has one bit of advice for Reggie in this new venture: "I have one tip when working with Marv . . . don't mention his hair."

ACT 5: It's the Halloween kids in the Green Room eating pizza.

And that was our show for Wednesday, October 26, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

Every year at rehearsal for the New Halloween Costumes the same thing happens. At rehearsal, someone playing Dave opens the door, the kid in costume walks in, the "Dave" guy closes the door, then he proceeds with the conversation with the kid. And every year I remind those in charge that this is not the way Dave does it. Dave opens the door, the kids enter, Dave LEAVES THE DOOR OPEN, and then converses with the kid. When the kid exits, Dave closes the door and the doorbell almost immediately chimes again. Dave opens the door, and repeats. So why is this important? Because the kids are in costumes and they need to practice getting ready behind the door as quick as possible. If in rehearsal the door is closed as soon as the costumed-kid enters, the next kid --- and the stage manager --- will think they can dawdle and take their time to get to the mark. And if it's rehearsed this way, come show time the kids may become alarmed and flustered when everything is more frantic and rushed.
If it ain't rehearsed, expect the worst.
And if isn't rehearsed the way it's going to be on the show, then it's not rehearsed.

I watched Game 4 of the World Series last night. Stayed up for the entire game. Congratulations to the Chicago White Sox for their 4-game sweep. It must be very frustrating for the Astros. With a hit in the right spot at the right time in each game, it could have been the Astros winning in a 4-game sweep. And that's usually all the difference between a championship and 2nd place.

I was hoping the Astros won last night just so I could introduce you to a new game I play while watching the FOX presentation of the World Series. I count the camera shots between pitches. The closer and more tense the game, the more camera shots between pitches. In the 6th inning with the score 0-0, the Astros had the bases loaded with two outs. Twice I counted 13 camera cuts in between pitches with Jason Lane at bat. Do we really need to see another fan in the stands with their hands clutched to their face or a fan wearing his hat inside out? What I want to see is on the field. 13 different camera shots between pitches made me dizzy.
With that being said, I didn't find myself yelling too much at the TV, so I guess FOX did OK with the broadcast. And I was very satisfied with the final out and celebration. The camera stayed on the ChiSox with only a few shots of the losing Astros. I watched about a minute of the celebration and then turned to the QVC channel. After any championship game, I always like to see how long it takes before they start hawking the World Champion T-Shirts and caps. It's immediate. Seconds after the final out and they're already holding up a White Sox World Series Champion T-Shirt . . . a real collectors item.
So did FOX show a scene from Jimbo's in the south of Chicago after the final out? I usually don't like those shots but since FOX created the story during game, showing us the fans in the bar watching the game, I was slightly interested in the scene after the last out. Maybe FOX showed it when I was turning to the QVC. When a team wins on the road, I don't mind it too much when we're shown a scene from a hometown bar. If the team wins at home, a bar scene is not necessary.

From Russ Dean of Tigard, Oregon, commenting on yesterday's single M&M in the new Ultra Fun-Size bag of M&Ms.

"George Carlin long ago stated that if you have only one of these candies it is an 'M' not an 'M&M'"

Where do you buy your booze? I asked this the other day and the easiest place to buy seems to be Phoenix, Arizona and California. Says one reader about Phoenix; "Booze is everywhere! You can buy liquor at the grocery store."

Another writes, "In California, all 3 are available at any grocery store or drugstore as well as dedicated liquor stores. In Hollywood it's impossible to be more than about a block away from a liquor store!" New York: Liquor and wine at a liquor store; beer at a convenient store.
Massachusetts: Liquor and wine at a liquor store; beer can be bought at a convenient store
Ontario: Liquor stores for wine and liquor; beer stores for beer.
New Jersey: beer/wine/liquor at a package store.
Nebraska: beer/wine/liquor at a package store.
Ohio: beer/wine/liquor at a "Party store"
Wisconsin: beer/wine/liquor at the beer depot
Australia: beer/wine/liquor at a Bottle shops
Denver: beer/wine/liquor at a liquor store; 3.2 near-beer at a grocery store
Florida: Liquor at a liquor store; beer and wine at any convenient store.
Illinois: Liquor at a liquor store; beer and wine at any convenient store. Illinois has a lot of liquor stores with a drive-thru window.

I received this Tuesday. It made me smile.
From Damon Hammer of Boise, Idaho.

"My son said something during Game 1 of the World Series that made me think of you. The camera focused on Phil Garner at a suspenseful point in the game. Needless to say it wasn't the first shot (nor the last). My seven year old who is beginning to learn the games strategies asked "why do they keep showing him, he isn't doing anything?" A seven year old gets it. Why don't the networks?
You have 'pollute[d]' my viewing habits to the point that seeing the same lady talking on her cell phone over and over during Game 3 drove me crazy."

Thursday and Friday, followed by Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday will be previously-viewed programs.
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 27: From 10/07/05; Show #2438 - Jack Hanna and Nick Griffin. Look for me in Week in Review.
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2005: From 10/06/05; Show# 2437 - Jon Stewart and David Gray. Listen for my voiceover in the Pat Farmer piece.
MONDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2005: From 10/11/05; Show #2440 - Woody Harrelson and Fiona Apple.
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 2005: From 9/19/05; Show #2429 - Martha Stewart and Gretchen Wilson. PLUS: Buckwheat Zydeco sitting in with the band; and Biff with the American Chopper guys.
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 2005: From 10/10/05; Show #2439 - Orlando Bloom and Alicia Keys. Look for me playing a cop; and listen for my voice over in the Alan Kalter piece. a