Have you been watching the World Series? Dave is happy to see the Chicago White Sox doing so well in the Fall Classic. He finds it a bit odd that it's the White Sox in the World Series and not the lovable Cubbies. All you ever hear out of Chicago is the Cubs Cubs Cubs, but here is the "other" team, the White Sox in the Series and up 2 games to 0. And what about that guy, Tommy Pud-sed-nicky. That was some home run! But there is one thing wrong with the White Sox . . . they wear black socks! Why would the White Sox wear black socks? I guess that's the black socks scandal I keep hearing about.

Before we go any farther, Dave would like to say hello to the President of CBS Television, Mr. Les Moonves. We see a clip of a young Les from the 1970's police drama, "Cannon." Les is playing a Mexican pearl dive . . . a Mexican cliff diver named Pascual. We see looped Les saying, "My name is Pascual. My name is Pacual. My name is Pascual."

Did you hear that the New York Times in a money-saving move is considering reducing the size of their paper, cutting back on paper and ink costs? It sort of made sense, until I saw what they did. Dave holds up a New York Times Nano. The edition of the Times is no bigger than a deck of cards. There's barely room to fit the print!

It was an amazing World Series game last night, the White Sox pulling it out on Scott Podsednik's 9th inning home run. The guy had zero home runs the whole year and now has 2 in the playoffs. Dave saw a puzzling reaction this morning. Announcer:

"Last night Scott Podsednik, who didn't have any home runs during the regular season, hit the game-winning blast. Atta boy, Scott! From all you friends as BALCO! Glad we could help. BALCO - You're welcome."

Donald Trump is blaming Martha Stewart for the ratings decline of the original "Apprentice." It seems Martha's version cheapens the original and does not live up to the name of the "Apprentice" franchise. Did you see what happened on Martha's version of "The Apprentice" last week? We see a shot of Martha sitting forlorn, alone at a desk. We cut to the Donald in his boardroom who says, "You're fired." Back to a disappointed Martha.

BIFF HANGS OUT ON THE FUJI BLIMP: Last week, Biff went to Floyd Bennett Field to take a ride on the Fuji Blimp. Dave said he twice went for a ride on the Goodyear Blimp. Dave said he flew over Manhattan and when he was over Central Park, he threw his gum into the reservoir.
The Fuji blimp is 200 feet long.
Cruising speed: 35 mph
Maximum speed: 58 mph.
Biff: "What is the point of this thing?" - the pilot didn't really have an answer.
Biff tries to board the Fuji Blimp.
Biff pops a few Dramamine.
"Those people down there look like ants. . . . oh, they are ants."
"I'm ready if anything goes wrong" - Biff pulls out a bicycle pump.
Biff calls down from the blimp, "What the hell are you looking at?" Looking up from the sidewalk is Donald Trump.
"What does this lever do?" Biff pulls. We see a clip from a movie of a guy falling from a blimp.
Biff yells to the interns down below on the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater that he's ready. The interns run out and lie down on the roof, spelling out "BIFF"

Back from commercial, Dave shows a photo of Chicago White Sox 3rd baseman Joe Crede. He's diving for a grounder . . . and he's wearing black socks.

NICOLAS CAGE: Nicolas is a dad of a brand new baby boy, only 3 weeks old. His name: Kal-El, Superman's real name. He wanted a name that was exotic, American, and stood for something good. Kal-el seemed perfect. He says that holding your baby in your arms . . . there's nothing better in the whole world. Nicolas asks about Harry. Dave says he's about to turn two years old and admits that he has to wrestle with himself to keep from talking about him so much. Everyone in the world has had a baby and he realizes that his baby stories have been told and heard by others millions of times before. Yeah, but when the baby is yours, they are your baby stories. I think everyone should feel free to tell their baby stories, just so you can hear them yourself.
Nicolas went to Africa about a year ago and when he was riding in a car, a cobra attacked his car tire. While the cobra had its fangs in the tire, Nicolas admired its thin waist. It was then that Nicolas decided he wanted a cobra-like waist. And he's been running and getting into shape ever since. He's now a 5-8 miles a day jogger. All because a snake attacked his car. Nicolas defends the reputation of snakes, believing they are not the evil and frightening reptiles we have been led to believe. He adds that he believes all animals are sacred. Dave goes off in another line of questioning but Nicolas interrupts, confessing, "I do own a couple snakeskin jackets and boots . . ." Sacred, but they do make a great fashion statement as well.
Nicolas Cage's "The Weatheman" opens this Friday. From the commercials, I thought it was one of those silly, quickly-put-together comedies that have a few simple laughs but hearing Dave laud the film, it sounds to be much more than that. Dave calls it a well-crafted and well put together piece of work and very funny. Says Dave, "The 'funny' that happens in real life. The 'funny' is not contrived." Dave gives "The Weatherman" his stamp of approval, calling it "a great story well told." It opens this Friday.

JERRY LEWIS: He's the legend! Jerry has written a book about his long relationship with Dean Martin, entitled, "Dean & Me: A Love Story." Dave too has written a book, showing us his copy of "Paul & Me: A Love Story."
Before coming out, Jerry had to sign a Worldwide Pants form for payment and stuff. His appearance payment is $418. Who wants to deal with paper work and checks and fees and tax forms? Jerry says, "Give me $15 cash and we'll call it even." Dave just so happens to have a ten and a five in his pocket and makes the transaction.
Jerry speaks very highly of his friend Dean Martin, calling him the most underrated performer to ever live. He had a brilliant ability and a great comic sense to know just what to say and exactly how to say it. His timing was impeccable. When the two just started out, they would do 7 and 8 shows a day, every day. The first show would be at 9:00 AM at the Paramount and the final show at 12:35 AM, finishing up at 1:10 AM. And then do it all over again. Were there a lot of girls on the road? A lot of fooling around? Jerry says there was, pointing out, "I didn't get this way from living good." Was Dean Martin the real ladies man? Jerry says it wasn't so. It was just an image, just a showbiz persona he put out. Jerry and Dean spent 9 great years together and then decided to split up and go out on top. Near the end, things got a bit rancorous between the two, quickly going from bad to worse. The split became so bad that they didn't speak for 20 years. Frank Sinatra brought them back together on one of Jerry's telethons.
We see a comedy clip from the black and white days of television. Dean Martin is with his newly wedded bride. Jerry Lewis plays a bellhop. The bellhop congratulates them on their marriage, shaking Dean's hand and then kissing the bride smack on the lips. Dean, in anger: "I'll teach you to kiss my wife."
Jerry: "Oh, I don't need no lessons!" And kisses her again.

ACT 5: Announcer: "It's time to announce the Late Show Staffer of the Night. Congratulations to writers' researcher Bob Borden, who scored a week off by pretending he had jury duty! In reality, Bob spent last week sleeping in, watching infomercials, and making adorable outfits for his kitties, Evelyn and Billy. Way to go, Bob! This has been the Late Show Staffer of the Night. Rock on, losers!"

And that was our show for Monday, October 24, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

For some reason, this popped into my head on my drive to work this morning. We've all heard the statistic that by reducing your highway driving speed from 75 to 60 mph, you will use something like 15% less gasoline. Then I got to wondering. Does this mean that if you drive an hour at 60 mph compared to 75 mph, you will use 15% less gasoline? If this is so, you will still have to drive another 15 miles at 60 mph to make up the distance. If I need to get someplace that's 75 miles away, driving at 75 mph will get me there in an hour. Driving at 60 mph will get me there in an hour and 15 minutes. I guess the question I'm asking is this: Do you use up more gasoline driving an hour at 75 mph or by driving for an hour and 15 minutes at 60 mph?

I just had my flu shot. I was disappointed. I really just went for the snacks, but there were no snacks. I was told snacks are only for when you give blood. So what's the incentive of getting a flu shot?

GAVIN'S PIGSKIN PICKS OF THE WEEK WEEK
The Redskins over the 49ers, giving 11 points. RIGHT!
The Eagles over the Chargers, giving 4. WRONG!
Go with Tennessee over the Cards, getting 5 points. WRONG!

The New York Giants won a last-second thriller against the Denver Broncos, 24-23. As the Giants offense drove down the field for the final touchdown against the Bronco defense, the director for CBS somehow thought the two most important players at that time were Mike Strahan, the Giants defensive lineman standing on the sidelines, and Jake Plummer, the Broncos quarterback standing on the sideline. Time and time again as the game neared its finale, we watched these two watching the game. With 5 seconds left with the ball on the 2-yard line, I wanted to see who was in the game. I wanted to see the Giants offensive formation. I wanted to see how the Bronco defense lined up against the offense. But all I got to see were Mike Strahan watching the game and Jake Plummer watching the game. I guess that's what happens when the give football-director jobs to those who were on the high school AV Squad and not the football squad. I'm guessing this is a symptom of celebrity/hero worship; showing more interest in the star players rather than the intricacies of the game. Now I have no idea if the director actually was on the AV Squad. All I'm doing is trying to understand his thinking.
I hung around after the game to watch the credits so I could mention the name of the director. No such graphic. The announcers may have mentioned it at the end but I missed it. I was too happy and angry to listen.

I've missed two of the most dramatic home runs of the baseball playoffs this year: Cardinals' Albert Pujols HR vs. the Astros in the NLCS and now Podsednick's HR vs. the Astros in the World Series. I fell asleep for both. But don't worry, Nielsens, the TV was on and that's all that really matters, isn't it.
If TVs automatically turned off the second we fell asleep, Major League Baseball and the networks would start games earlier. They really don't care if a Nielsen family stays awake for the entire game. All they care is that the Nielsen-family TV stays on when they fall asleep. This keeps their network's ratings up on the east coast and they can sell that to advertisers.

HALLOWEEN COSTUMES ON WEDNESDAY.