Billboarding the show, Dave refers to Selma Blair's movie as "The Frog," not the correct "The Fog." I'm 95% sure he's joking but I don't like it. I can't help but wonder if I mistakenly typed in "The Frog" and not "The Fog." He checks the blue card and admits his error. It's "The Fog." Many were amused. I would rather be amused by something else.

Dave has befriended a fellow on the staff who has quite a story. He's the oldest Page working for CBS. Dave invites him on stage to chat. It's Johnny, the Oldest CBS Page.
DAVE: "Hi, Johnny. Nice of you to stop by. How's life as a CBS Page treating you?
JOHNNY: "Living a dream, Dave. Living a friggin' dream."
DAVE: "Oh, that's great, Johnny."
JOHNNY: "Wanna know what high-level task I attended to? I brought Ed Bradley a bowl of Grape Nuts. Yes!"
DAVE: "I see. But I know you really love to work in television."
JOHNNY: "Well, it's pretty thrilling to be on stage with a guy . . . who's hosted a show for over 20 years."
DAVE: "Wow, thank you, Johnny. It's so nice when people appreciate. . . ."
JOHNNY: (laughing) "Yeah, right! I'm pulling your wang!"
DAVE: (snides) "Funny. I didn't feel anything." (Johhny goes wide-eyed. Dave continues.) "You always sound so bitter. I bet you enjoy working with young people in the page program."
JOHNNY: "Yeah, it's great being the only Page in A.A.R.P."
DAVE: "But your health is okay, right?"
JOHNNY: "I'm in the top physical condition of my life. I'm like a donkey on Viagra."
DAVE: "That's sweet. What are you doing after the show?"
JOHNNY: "Oh, the usual. . . Drinks at the Carlyle, dinner at Bouley, then a late night cognac at the W Hotel."
DAVE: "Wow, sounds like great fun."
JOHNNY: "Fun my ass. I make 4 bucks an hour! I'm saving up for a birthday whore." (to Paul) "Play me off, Hamlisch."

Johnny starts galloping as if riding a pony. Dave calls for Johnny on the pony to come over so he could pet the pony. Dave pets the galloping pony and Johnny exits.

LATE SHOW WEEK IN REVIEW
-Amidst everything that has gone wrong for President Bush recently, he has had some success regarding North Korea. People are optimistic about this week's negotiations. We take a look.
Announcer:

"The U.S. and North Korea have begun direct talks on nuclear weapons. The U.S. is encouraged Kim Jong Il has halted his nuclear program. In exchange, President Bush has agreed to this." (we see photo of Bush in Kim Jong Il wig and glasses) "You gotta wear this for 6 months, bitch! Kim Jong Il - Still crazy as a loon!"

"With Alan Greenspan stepping down as Chairman of the Federal Reserve, the question becomes who will replace him? What candidate can earn Wall Street's confidence, while overseeing America's multi-million dollar economy? Rest assured America! President Bush settled on a replacement who not only meets the Bush criteria of undying loyalty, but he truly is the most qualified one for the job . . . . Barney the Dog!" (see the Bush dog) "George W. Bush - only 1,201 more days of this crap!"

"The wait if finally over. The world's greatest fairy tale is now available on DVD - Walt Disney's 'Cinderella.' Now spectacularly restored with enhanced picture and sound. And featuring the first ever glimpse . . of Walt Disney's cryogenically frozen head! 'Cinderella' - now available on Disney DVD."

-Cameron Crowe has a brand new film coming out today entitled "Elizabethtown." We check out the coming attraction.
Announce:

"Drew Baylor is a lonely man who finds new life when he meets a quirky free spirit. Will they find true happiness? Rush right out and see 'Elizabethtown.' Or stay home and see the same story in
'When Harry Met Sally'
'Moonstruck'
'You've Got Mail'
'Jerry McGuire'
'Sleepless in Seattle'
'Officer and a Gentleman'
'Pretty Woman'
'Annie Hall'
'Sabrina'
The remake of 'Sabrina'
'The apartment'
'Roman Holiday'
'It Happened One Night'
'Bull Durham'
'Breakfast at Tiffany's'
'L'Atalante'
'Le Mouton Enrage'
or
'Die Regenschirme von Cherbourg.'
'Elizabethtown.' Opens today!"

-The New York Jets are having a tough year, but they're not giving up. Dave announces, "Here with a preview of this Sunday's match-up between the Jets and the Buffalo Bills is die-hard Jets fan Ted Burnside." An elderly man enters wearing a New York Jets jacket.
OLD GUY: "Thank you, Dave. Well, the Bills aren't looking that impressive this year, and with the Jets working hard to improve the running game and strengthen the defense, look for a close game on Sunday with the Jets ultimately scratching out a win."
DAVE: "We'll certainly hope for the best, sir. How long have you been a Jets fan?"
OLD GUY: "Oh, about 4 or 5 weeks now."

HUH?! "4 or 5 weeks now"??? Where did that come from? That wasn't in the script! Dave is stumped. What the . . .??? I'm confused and a bit shocked. I flash through my script wondering if I missed something. The Stangels sitting beside me bolt up from their chairs! "WHAT?! 4 or 5 weeks???" Paul is confused. Paul is holding up two scripts. Neither have "Ohh, about 4 or 5 weeks now." Dave, still confused, tells Paul he won't find "4 or 5 weeks now" on either script. Things are quickly calmed down and we try it again from the top. Dave introduces the Old Guy.

OLD GUY: "Thank you, Dave. Well, the Bills aren't looking that impressive this year, and with the Jets working hard to improve the running game and strengthen the defense, look for a close game on Sunday with the Jets ultimately scratching out a win."
DAVE: "We'll certainly hope for the best, sir. How long have you been a Jets fan?"
OLD GUY: "Fan? I'm not a fan. I'm the new quarterback!"
ALAN ANNOUNCE: "Bet you didn't see that one coming! If you did, send a postcard to: I Saw That Coming!
c/o The Late Show
1697 Broadway
New York, NY 10019
Back to you, whistlenuts!"

And that was Week In Review.

So what happened in the last Week in Review with the Jets fan? This is my guess, speaking from my own personal experience. The old Jets fan comes out and gives his little preview of the upcoming Jets game. Dave was supposed to follow that with the scripted:

DAVE: "We'll certainly hope for the best, sir. How long have you been a Jets fan?"

It's written that way on the cue card. Except Dave didn't say it quite like that. He didn't lead with the scripted "We'll certainly hope for the best, sir" before getting to "How long have you been a Jets fan." Dave's response went this way and that way before getting to the cue line, "How long have you been a Jets fan?" I think what happened is when the guy saw Dave was going off script, he thought he was going totally off script and was asking a generic question and would get back to the cue line following this first generic guest ion. He didn't realize that Dave went away from the script but then came right back to the cue. When you're out there on stage, you have to be listening for two things: What Dave is saying, and your cue line. Dave will sometimes engage you in conversation, unscripted, before getting to the cue line. You have to be keyed in to both. I think the Old Guy prepared himself for Dave to possibly go off script but didn't realize he returned. His response to "How long have you been a Jets fan?" with "Oh, about 4 or 5 weeks now" was an unscripted response to a scripted question. Oops. OR maybe this happened . . . . .
The Old Guy was concentrating on getting his long initial Jets preview response out there cleanly, and then afterwards he relaxed and forgot, or didn't quite concentrate on, the follow-up . . . the joke part.
Either one may be right, they may both be wrong, or make up your own excuse. Either way, it was a pretty odd moment. Dave usually strays from the script, but always comes back to the cue. My thinking is the Old Guy didn't realize this.

Back from commercial, Dave exclaims that today is Friday October 14th. He is relieved how we just barely dodged a bullet. I laughed, figuring Dave was referring to the just missed Friday, the 13th.

WILL IT FLOAT: Tonight's item: a 25-pound case of Double-Bubble Bubblegum. It's in a cardboard box, taped shut. Dave is disappointed in the item, thinking it's much too easy. A single piece of bubblegum would float. The wrapper it is wrapped in would float. And the box it is encased in would float. Obviously, the entire thing would also float. Dave laments that this is getting ridiculous. Paul exclaims, "NOW?" Finally after all this time, Will It Float is just now getting ridiculous? Dave laughs at the silliness of the whole thing. Time to make the guess.
Dave says it will float. Paul says it will sink. The Late Show models drop the box of Double-Bubble bubblegum into the Will It Float tank and it . . . . FLOATS!

SELMA BLAIR: Selma is wearing a nice blouse . . . without pants. How do you like that? She says she is saving up for the other half. I didn't think that would be necessary.
Selma is just back from spending some time at a Sweat Lodge. It's supposed to be a place for spiritual cleansing. Personally, I don't think you can "go" someplace for spiritual cleansing. The most important place is inside your head and . . . oh, nevermind. This sweat lodge consists of a large sweat tent that gets up to 300 degrees. Dave questions the temperature, figuring that heat would cause big problems. Inside the tent was pitch black and filled with burning lava rocks. For 4 hours in this 300 degree heat was very unpleasant. Selma says it caused blistering on some of those present. Did it create the desired results? If it was meant to cause headaches and pain, yes. Other than that, no. She won't be trying it again. Selma is married to Ahmet Zappa. Oooh, one of the Zappa's. I guess that sort of explains the Sweat Lodge. Selma likes the Zappas, happy that next to them, she doesn't seem not so quirky.
Selma Blair - she stars in the remake of "The Fog" - it's in theaters now. She plays the role performed by Adrienne Barbeau in the original. To play the role, she had to wear fake breasts. If you're familiar with Ms. Barbeau, you would know that most actresses would have to wear fake breasts to fill out the role.

BARRY SONNENFELD: The famed film director is just back from filming "RV" in Vancouver. It is due out sometime in the Spring. How is Vancouver? Rainy. Very rainy. Rains all the time. It is a challenge to make rainy Vancouver look like sunny Colorado. Barry worked for SONY Pictures and Dave wondered if they forced any product placement upon him. He said there was, and he was restricted in his use of IPods, cellphones, and computers. Barry was not happy about it and any SONY product he used he would cover the brand name with tape. It was his way of getting back at them for making him shoot a film in rainy Vancouver.
Barry has recently learned how to swim. It's never too late. As an overprotected kid growing up in New York, he never learned. He says he was a skinny kid, so skinny you could see his heart beat.
Barry had nothing to really plug tonight, which is fine with me. His ability to tell a good story in an amusing way is always entertaining. And he makes it profitable for himself. He drops in names of friends throughout the show who pay him $100 each time he mentions them. Damn. Why didn't I think of that when I started my Cameo Mentions?

ACT 5: It's our building engineer George Clarke practicing his Tai Chi. "Check it out, ladies. My Chi is centered."

And that was our show for Friday, October 14, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

Have you heard about this new $100 computer? I'm not sure how good it is. It comes with a dictionary and an encyclopedia.

Bad news: my simple neighborhood bar is under new management. Changes are being made to The Depot in Sparkill. I don't go there all that much but it was always a comfort to know that I could walk up the block for a cold beer whenever I felt the need. It's a no-nonsense place; catering to those in the neighborhood. It's not the kind of place people would travel any great distance to visit. Although The Depot remains open, all the old photos are off the wall and remodeling is underway. I like the fact that it is staying opening during the fix-up. I always liked sawdust on a barroom floor; I just never saw it being made at the end of the bar before. I'm told there will be food served when all is done. I'm not too pleased about that. I saw nothing wrong with beer nuts and pickled eggs. Oh well. Things change. Sure, fix it up. But please keep the squeaky floors.

Today is the 8th straight day of rain in the New York area. And I'm not talking drizzle rain . . . I'm talking torrential rain, especially these past three days. It's supposed to finally slow down some time on Saturday. For Thursday's show, I wanted to go with a "rain" theme for the script cover. This is what I found about rain.

Fun Rain Facts
Rain, water falling in drops condensed from the atmosphere
Did you know that…
- The world's heaviest average rain fall (about 430 inches) occurs in Cherrapunji, India, where as much as 87 feet of rain has fallen in one year.
- Mt. Waialeale in Kauai, Hawaii, has up to 350 rainy days every year.
- The wettest state in the United States is Louisiana, with annual rainfall of 56 inches.
- Rainfall is classified as light if not more than 0.10 inch per hour, and heavy if more than 0.30 inch per hour.
- All precipitation starts as ice or snow crystals at cloud level.
- Freezing rain is rain that freezes as it hits the ground; sleet is frozen ice pellets.
- The umbrella was originally intended for shade from the hot Egyptian sun.
- Raindrops vary in size from 0.02 inch to about .031 inch diameter.
- Big, heavy raindrops can fall at speeds up to 22 miles per hour!
-Greatest Rainfall in the United States Over One Day
Total Rainfall: 43 inches
Location: Alvin, TX
Date: July 25-26, 1979
-Greatest Rainfall in the World Over One Day
Total Rainfall: 72 inches
Location: Foc Foc, La Réunion
Date: Jan 6-7 1966
-Greatest Rainfall in New York City Over One Day
Total Rainfall: 11.17 inches
Date: October 8-9, 1903

I think this is the last of "TV Shows That Have Held Up Over Time." I printed most of those I received.
Lance Boyle of Asheville, North Carolina. (nice name, "Lance.")

MAIL: Shows that have held up:
Get Smart
WKRP
Moonlighting
Police Squad
Remington Steele
Space: 1999
When Things Were Rotten (a long-forgotten & short-lived classic)
Andy Griffith
Star Trek (the original series)
Hill Street Blues
Taxi (early years)

Shows that don't hold up:
Charlie's Angels
M*A*S*H
Mod Squad
L.A. Law
Twin Peaks
Taxi (later years)

Oh, one more show that doesn't hold up: Time Tunnel... I LOVED that show when I was a wee child; but now, watching the reruns on cable on Saturday mornings is torture. The acting, the stories, the effects... all horrible! But, it's a show they should update and modernize."

"Surely I've just missed it on the list but has no one mentioned 'WKRP in Cincinnati'? Who can forget 'As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!' I'm not sure you could get more memorable characters than that group although 'Taxi' comes in as a close second."

"TV Shows that have held up (geezer division entry): 'Dragnet.' The monosyllabic back-and-forth dialogue seems to catch the flavor of real police work. 'Just the facts, ma'am.'

"TV Shows that have held up: I don't think anyone's mentioned the all-time champ - The Honeymooners (the classic 39 episodes). Still literally laugh-out-loud funny after all these years.
For my money, still the funniest moment in the history of televised comedy is when Ralph is on a game show and when asked who wrote Swanee River, he replies 'Ed Norton.'"