Dave had quite a weekend. For the first time ever, he was tossed from his horse. Dave explains, "One second, there was a 2-ton hairy animal between my legs . . . and then there was the horse." Dave was riding along nicely but noticed the horse was acting a bit peculiar. He kept checking over his shoulder as if somebody was sitting on his back or something. The next thing Dave knew he was looking up at the sky. In between the nice sweet ride and looking up at the sky, there was an old man going thump to the earth. This happened early in the ride and Dave says for the rest of the day, he had to ask himself, "Do I trust his son of a bitch?" And then there is the horn on the saddle, . . . "For the life of me I can't get a sound out of it" . . . . and when he got launched, he got horned in a spot you don't want to get horned. He now has a bruise the size of a dinner plate. Many may not know this, but at the Augusta Rodeo three years in a row, Dave was kicked unconscious. His ears always end up bleeding and for days following he keeps yelling, "Would somebody pick up the phone!"

This was Dave's 2nd Father's Day this weekend he says with pride. What did he get? Just what he needed. "The Lipitor/Cialis Father's Day Value-Pack." Dave opens up one of the containers and gulps down a few. Ooops. He opened the wrong bottle. He got the actuals. He tries the other bottle and gulps them down. Hmmm. Not chewable. Dave tries his best to wash them down.

In an interview with "Time" magazine, the Director of the CIA, Porter Goss, expressed confidence that he knew Osama bin Laden's location. Dave remains a bit skeptical. We see why.

Announcer: "CIA Director Porter Goss claims to have an 'excellent idea' where Osama bin Laden is hiding. Newly acquired pieces of intelligence have allowed the CIA to pinpoint the terrorist mastermind's location to this area here . . ." We see a map of the entire Eastern hemisphere. A circle is drawn around . . . the entire Eastern Hemisphere. "We're breathing down you neck, Jack! The CIA. Just do it!"

BOB BORDEN POLLSTER - we sent our friend Bob Borden out to the front of a local movie theater to ask movie-goers about the movies.
- Bob finds a fellow. Bob says he will do an impression of the guy about to go to the movies: "Ticket for one, please."
- Bob asks a woman of AARP age, "How psyched are you over the news that Deuce Bigelow is going to have a sequel!"
- Bob offers a fellow an acting lesson. "Let me show you how to act real scared." Bob then quickly pulls out an air horn and blows it in front of the guy. The guy jumps back startled.
- Bob asks the woman of AARP age how she would react if Bob's cell phone was going off during the movie. She firmly but sweetly says, "Excuse me, but your phone is ringing and it is very rude." (Or something close to that.) At the end we freeze the frame, hear a buzzer, and read a graphic: "Not a New Yorker."
- we see a tattooed guy who will probably never make it to AARP age responding to the same scenario. He uses most of the words found in the "bad word dictionary" and relates his anger to Bob. Bob is impressed. We see a freeze frame, a ding, and a graphic which reads "A real New Yorker."
- Bob asks a man who could be a father of a person in AARP, "Who is hotter, Jessica Simpson or Lindsay Lohan?" The chap answers after a thought: "Lindsay Lohan."
- Bob asks an elder woman "What celebrity would you least like to sleep with?" She thinks and thinks, and the name she comes up with is "David Hyde Pierce."
- Cut to Bob and David Hyde Pierce. DHP reacts, "It's too bad. I could have rocked her world."
- Bob asks a cool hipster a couple questions about the movies, which he answers in the negative. Bob asks a yes-no question, to which the guy answers, "Negative," coupled with a quick hand/wrist slashing gesture to the neck. Next question; "negative" with the gesture. Next question; "negative" with the slash gesture. Bob asks a few more questions, each one answered with "negative" followed by the slash gesture.
- Cut to Bob with a cool teen. Bob says to him, "Dude, the haircut . . . 'negative.'" Bob does the slash.
- Bob finds a fellow and asks him the question, "Ever have sex while at the movie theater?" The guy answers in the affirmative.
"What was the first movie in which he had sex?" The guys answers, "Purple Rain."
Any others? "The Color Purple." More? The guy says, "Ever hear of 'Krush Groove?'" Bob says he has. The guy follows, "Krush Groove."
Bob asks, "Saving Private Ryan"? The guy thinks. "Is that the World War 2 movie?" Bob says it is. The guy says, "Yeah. 'Saving Private Ryan.'"
"Rocky?" Yeah.
"Rocky 2?" Yeah.
"Fast and Furious"? The guy thinks. "Yeah . . . . 2 times."
"Terminator 2"? The guy answers, "No. Too action packed. I couldn't turn my head away."

And that was Bob Borden Pollster. You never know what you're gonna get in New York City. The last guy was great. Funny, without making it look like shtick. And the 'negative' guy just may have started something. The 'negative' with the gesture is already sweeping through the Worldwide Pants community. I got it yesterday when I asked for a raise.
You can enjoy more Bob on his website, www.bobborden.com, where it's all Bob all the time . . . but don't let that stop you.

APE OR ARTIST: This is our third installment. The first two 'Ape or Artist' paintings were done by an ape. Dave is quite sure this one will be by a human artist. He says this before he even sees the painting. Paul and Dave discuss. They think it is a human artist. Alan? What is it?
Alan: "Dave, it was painted by . . . an ape! Sammy the Chimp, the pride and joy of South Bend, Indiana's Potawatomi Zoo, has been painting for more than 9 years, using his fingers, hands, and even his tongue. His favorite mediums include pastels, chalk, fruits and vegetables, and tempera paint. Retail value: $300."

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN: He's in the "Wedding Crashers" film opening July 15th. I'm already hearing good things about it. Dave describes Mr. Walken as being a bit on the creepy side. Christopher didn't disappoint. During his segment, backstage we were busy rewriting a new ACT 5 based on something from Ape or Artist. I was scurrying here and there getting things in line for the change. I missed most of this interview, but I did hear Christopher say "no actor can say 'no' to free food." He also would like to live a few years just going from film festival to film festival. In the middle of the segment, a fly zooms across the screen and in front of Christopher. Christopher swats at it and Dave apologizes, explaining "He's been here a couple weeks." From past experience, I find the flies make it into the theater during the hot summer months. I guess they like the cool air.
Sure, Christopher Walken may be a bit creepy, but darn it, I find him very interesting. He's a fun guest with the right host. I can watch him for hours.
Christopher Walken: In "Wedding Crashers." Coming July 15th.

MICHAEL CAMPBELL: Winner of the 2005 U.S. Open in Pinehurst, North Carolina, the first New Zealander to ever do so. He was the only golfer to finish with par, finishing two shots ahead of Tiger Woods. He was close to not even entering the Open as he needed to qualify. Usually he would have to fly to the States on his own dime, put himself up in a hotel, golf in hopes of qualifying, and then fly back home. With everything else involved, it was too expensive a venture. Luckily, the U.S. Golf Association held a qualifying tournament in Europe which saved on expenses. He qualified, and here he is picking up another check on the Late Show.

This was only the second time Tiger Woods has finished 2nd in a major tournament. After the game, Michael met Tiger in the washroom. Tiger shook his hand and offered his congratulations. Michael gushed, "How do you do this?" because he's done this 9 times. Michael admits to being a nervous wreck for days. Tiger let him in on a little secret: "It's all luck."
The defending champ, Reteif Goosen was in the leading going into the final round. He lost a 3-shot lead and shot an 81. It is considered one of the greatest collapses in the game. And of course, everyone reading this now would be popping corks and dancing the rhumba if they ever shot an 81.

ACT 5: And the little grasshopper snatched the fly in mid-flight, impressing the Grand Master.

Before introducing Billy Corgan, Dave mentions that Reteif Goslin in the U.S. Open "collapsed like a Rosto Dinette Set." It's something he wanted to use during the Michael Campbell segment but didn't squeeze it in. He used it here because he didn't want it go to waste.
Did Dave really say "Rosto"? I don't know, but that's what my ear picked up over the din.

BILLY CORGAN: A founding member of "The Smashing Pumpkins," from his debut solo CD, "The Future Embrace," Billy Corgan performed "Mina Loy" (M.O.H.)

And that was our show for Monday, June 20, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

After we taped the Bob Borden piece, we got in touch with David Hyde Pierce to deliver his one line. He was a very good sport.

Remember I was talking about Johnny Puleo last week, the harmonica player? Well, I am not alone when it comes to fans.

From Greg Stillman of American Fork, Utah:

"My brother bought the Johnny Puleo and his gang, or Harmonicats, or whatever, back when the record came out. Let me know if you find a source for a CD of it as it was fun to listen to. I remember, vaguely, the cover with these guys holding their harmonicas; seems one was about 2 or 3 feet long, some double harmonicas, that's about all I remember."

"Johnny Puleo and his harmonica have been inseparable ever since was a child in his native Washington D.C. A graduate of the famous Harmonica Rascals founded by Borrah Minevitch, Puleo began his stage career at the age of six, when he won an harmonica contest in Boston. Later he joined a comedy variety act, during which time he learned much of the art of pantomime that has contributed so much to this success. He then joined the Harmonica Rascals, with whom he toured all over the world. His four feet, six-inch stature, graced by facial expressions and actions that bespeak a wonderful flavor for basic comedy, has made him a striking figure with audiences everywhere. And this everywhere includes royal command performances in England and before the Presidents of the United States and France. In addition to his mastery of the harmonica, he is a past master of the art of pantomime and a dramatic actor of considerable ability. The Harmonica Gang has appeared at top supper clubs throughout the nation, including the famous Latin Quarter in New York and Miami Beach; the Riviera in Las Vegas; Palmer House in Chicago; the Roosevelt in New Orleans; and Twin Coaches in Pittsburgh. The group's movie credits include 'Trapeze,' 'One in a Million,' 'Always in My Heart,' 'Rascals,' and 'Love Under Fire.' The group has also won many friends and influenced music lovers through numerous radio and television appearances."

Verbal Gaffs:
From Maria Jhai of Tucson, Arizona:

"Speaking of phrases that are frequently mangled - did anyone write in yet about 'take it for granite?' I hear that one said all the time, when 'take it for granted' is the original phrase, although taking something for 'granite', like as though it were a 'rock solid' fact, could kind of make sense too, I suppose. Also, somewhat on the subject, I think the most misused word in the English language may be 'ironic.' I hear people say 'that's ironic' when I think what they mean is something more like, 'What a coincidence.'"

THIS LATE SHOW NUMBER IN HISTORY
Today's show number: 2384. So what happened on February 3, 1984?
The Number One movie the weekend of February 3, 1984 was "Terms of Endearment," earning $3 million, bringing its total to nearly $70 million after 75 days in theaters. And that's what happened on This Show Number in History.

And from the Donz: Late Night on this Late Show Number Date in History
So what happened on LATE NIGHT on February 3, 1984? #2384.
LATE NIGHT Show Number #178:
Dave guests on Live-at-Five, plugging his Late Night 2nd Anniversary show. And that's what happened on Late Night on this Late Show Number Date in History.

THIS DATE IN NHL HOCKEY HISTORY
JUNE 20, 1999: In the 3rd overtime period, the Dallas Stars defeat the Buffalo Sabres 2-1 in Game 6 of the Stanley Cup finals to win the NHL championship. Controversy followed, as it was shown that winning-goal scorer Brett Hull had his foot in the crease at the time of the goal. It is the 2nd longest game in the history of the Stanley Cup Finals.

The Wahoo Gazette: no other show has anything like it . . . except for maybe "American Idol."