KNOW YOUR CURRENT EVENTS:
Tonight's categories:
Know Your Current Events
Know Your Cuts of Meat
Know Your Batman
Know Your Sunblock
Know Your Barbecue Grills on Sale at Wal-Mart
Know Your "Dancing with the Stars" - a video category.

KYCE CONTESTANT #1. Bruce, from Woodstock, Illinois, northwest of Chicago. Bruce is an athletic director for the Huntley High School Red Raiders. Do the Red Raiders have a fight song? Bruce isn't sure. He thinks so, but he doesn't know it. Dave says, "Of course, why should the Athletic Director know the school's fight song?"
Bruce is in town to watch the Cubs play the Yankees this week.
What does Bruce want to play? Bruce opts for Know Your Cuts of Meat. Bruce successfully identifies Smoked Pork Hocks and Beef Loin Porterhouse Steak. For his trouble, he is given music from the Late Show, a dinner for two, Explod-O-Pop Popcorn, and a box of meat from Lobel's.

KYCE CONTESTANT #2. Carla, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She didn't say it but I wouldn't be surprised if she's in town to watch the Pirates play the Yankees. Come to think of it, maybe I would be surprised since she never mentioned it and the opportunity was right there. Dave asks, "How is the 'Iron City Beer'? Is that good?" Carla gives it a "it's OK." I saw a six-pack of beer the other day at a distributor that really caught my eye. The beer was held in a white plastic bottle. It looked really cool. It reminded me of the beer bottle structure near Irvington, New Jersey that I would see on my way to my Aunt Jo and Uncle Frank's. Was the beer I saw at the distributor "Iron City Beer"? I think so. Let me check. I'll be right back after I Google.

DING! I was right. To see a bottle of Iron City Beer, check out, http://www.mikefeinbergcompany.com/airfiircialb.html

Carla is an executive assistant at a rubber roofing company. Dave exclaims, "Ooooh, talk about glamour!"
What does Carla want to play? Carla chooses Know Your "Dancing with The Stars." It's a new reality show on ABC. It has celebrity dancers paired with professional dancers. A panel of judges and th . . . ahh, who cares.
Question #1: "What maneuver do we see Rachel Hunter executing here?" We see Rachel dancing a move with her partner. Carla answers: "The back-bend clothesline." Right!
Question #2: "What are the judges looking for in Joey McIntyre's quick-step?" We see Joey dancing a move with his partner. Carla answers: "It should be light and fluffy, like a souffle." Right!

Vicki comes down with the gifts. Says Vicki to Dave, "How's the go going?" She follows with "Can I play Know Your Current Events? I'm always looking to cage some top drawer chow." She picks the Batman category.
Question #1. "How would one best describe Batman's ears?" Vicki thinks. And thinks. Silence. She thinks some more. The silence continues. And there's more silence. Finally Vicki answers, "Neptune?" No, it's not Neptune. Says Vicki, "Wow, Mr. Carney. This is a lot harder than it looks on TV." As Dave tries to ease her disappointment, Vicki turns and runs away at a full gallop. Odd. Amusing and confusingly odd.

And that was Know Your Current Events.

PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON: The President and Dave have something in common; they've both had the bypass surgery. Dave says after his operation, all he wanted to do was talk about it, talk about it, talk about it. Not so much for the President. He let those around him talk about it and those who've experienced the same talk about it. One's reaction to the procedure runs the gamut from going back to work in a week to going into a funk depression. Bill's reaction? It was his first time off in 35 years. It was great. Sat around doing nothing but lots of reading and relaxing.

Bill had the triple bypass. He had severe blockage in 4 arteries; over 90% in two of them. Ouch. Dave says, "So you were on the edge." You picture the heart being a delicate organ but in this procedure, Dave says the surgery could not be more barbaric. Dave and Bill describe what goes into a bypass: your chest bone is cut open; your ribs pried apart; your heart and lungs manhandled." I've never seen a bypass surgery, but I have seen a knee replacement surgery performed on TV. I was amazed at how indelicate the surgical team can be. And the tools used are no different from a carpenter's. They used an electric drill, a saw, a sander, a hammer, a screwdriver. Yech. My friends' father was thinking of getting a knee replacement. He saw that same show on TV and decided against it.
What is Bill doing differently now after the bypass? He walks an hour a day; eats less red meat, less fat in his diet. After 50 years of bad eating habits, it finally caught up to him. Dang it. I need to start living like Bill. More exercise, less fat in the diet. Red meat isn't much of a problem for me, since I can't afford to buy enough to hurt me. Dave points out that if not for the advances in medicine, there is a likelihood that both he and Bill could be, would be . . . dead. Dave's right about the advances in the medical field. Without it, I would have a big bump in my nose and wrinkles in my forehead. Now if they could only invent something to invigorate my dormant hair follicles. Dave says the bypass procedure is done so often now and has become so common place that during his quintuple bypass, the surgical team was so relaxed that they were smoking cigarettes. Wow, how laid back!

Bill has been busy with former President George Bush Sr. working together to aid the tsunami victims along the Indian Ocean. They've become good friends, in fact, they've been friends for quite a while. Back in 1983 when they first met; Bill as a Governor, George as Vice-President, George was introduced to little Chelsea. The first thing she asked was, "Where's the bathroom?" The Vice-President of the United States kindly and fatherly walked her to the bathroom. Later this month, Bill will be spending time with George Sr. in Kennebunkport for some golfing and boating. Bill speaks with conviction and hope of his and George Sr.'s work with the tsunami victims. Over 300,000 are dead or missing and over 1 million homeless. Americans raised $1.4 billion for the relief effort. They are feeding 800,000 a day. It's a seemingly endless task, but step-by-step, hopefully things will return to as close to normal as normal can be after such a tragic event. Earlier in the night, Bill Clinton went to Yankee Stadium for an on-field ceremony to receive a gift from the Yankees towards the relief fund.

What's the deal with North Korea? Is their leader a legitimate threat or is he just nuts? The President says, after a thought, "Both." He describes North Korea as the most isolated country in the world. They have very little contact outside their borders. They cannot grow enough food for their people, but they can build missiles and bombs. The danger isn't so much of North Korea using their bombs and missiles against us or our allies, since they know they would be hit back harder and annihilated, but the fear is in their selling their weaponry to people who would. They need the capital to feed their country, and all they have to sell is their weapons. We need to negotiate and deal with them.

What's Bill know about the Downing Street Memo? The President seems a bit mystified. He is unfamiliar with the Downing Street Memo. Dave explains is a confidential document from 2002 suggesting that the Bush administration planned to remove Saddam Hussein from power and intended to line up intelligence findings to support that goal. Bill will not comment since he has not read up on it, but says it is clear that the administration wanted to get rid of Saddam before they even took office.

At the end of the show, Dave speaks what is on my mind: "Whenever Clinton is on, I'm reminded just how dumb I am."

ACT 5: "It's time for the Late Show Subliminal Message of the Night." A quick chyron appears on the screen then disappears: "Eat Corn." "This has been the Late Show Subliminal Message of the Night." Hmmm, does that include Popcorn, too? Mmmm.

RINGO STARR: From his new CD, "Choose Love," Ringo performed "Choose Love." I went out and watched the performance. I rarely do, but for Ringo, I had to. He's a Beatle for goodness sake. "Choose Love." Good sound. Good guitar. Good horns. And it was fun to see Ringo on the drums.

And that was our show for Thursday, June 16, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

I was cleaning out my attic the other day. What am I supposed to do with all my old leg warmers?

From Grant McIntyre of Toronto:
RE: yesterday's Wahoo.

"My jaw dropped when you mentioned Johnny Puleo and his Harmonica Gang. When I was in my early 20s (more than 25 yrs ago) my roommate dug out a Johnny Puleo album that belonged to his father. After several refreshments, we put on the album and rolled on the floor laughing. It's an entire orchestra of harmonicas playing full, intricate arrangements of polka and other popular songs, as I recall. JP&HG became an 'in' joke and a hit when friends dropped in expecting Jethro Tull or Pink Floyd. I had forgotten about it until now."

From http://www.spaceagepop.com/puleo.htm

"Another veteran of Borrah Minevitch's Harmonical Rascals, Puleo, a midget, made a striking image on stage as he manhandled a huge bass harminca. He recorded a series of albums for Audio Fidelity. Played on the soundtrack of the 1956 film, 'Trapeze,' appeared regularly on 'The Ed Sullivan Show,' and made a cameo appearance late in his career in a skit on 'Second City.'"

"Almost what I wanted. Where is Johnny Puleo when you need him? I cannot find any CDs with Johnny Puleo and his Harmonica Gang on them. As a substitute, I purchased this CD. It's fine. Some of the songs are very well done and nicely recorded. The trio just seemed to be missing something. Maybe they needed a fourth person? I wanted that wild, rapid harmonica sound. Jerry Murad's Harmonicats gave me that a few times, but didn't always deliver. Sometimes, the tempo just seemed a bit too slow. Still, as a novelty, and to round out your collection, you should get this album. Anyone found Johnny Puleo? On CD????????"

THIS SHOW NUMBER IN HISTORY
Today's Show Number: 2382. So what happened on February 3, 1982? : John Sharples of England finishes disco dancing 371 hours.
And as the Donz points out: Late Night on this Late Show Number Date in History:

So what happened on LATE NIGHT on February 3, 1982?
LATE NIGHT Show Number #3:
Comedy Segments: New Gift Items (last product was helium socks; Dave later thanked Production Designer Kathleen Ankers, who worked six weeks creating the socks), the debut "Report from George Miller's Room," and a Remote: "Celebrity Profile: Alan Alda: A Man and His Chinese Food."
Guests: Monty Python's Terry Gilliam (plugs the film "Time Bandits"), Hank Aaron (after his segment, he left the studio and was then interviewed by sportsguy and brother to Marv, Al Albert), and songwriter of 2,000 songs (including "Tea for Two") and source of Martin Short's "Irving Cohen," 86-year-old Irving Caesar.

I think I'm starting to lose control of this thing. I no longer have a grasp.

THIS DATE IN NHL HOCKEY HISTORY
JUNE 16, 1998 - The Detroit Red Wings defeat the Washington Capitals in 4 games to win the Stanley Cup Championship.