Audience Show and Tell
A&S#1: Barry Willey, from West Point, New York.
Barry is originally from Indianapolis and he and Dave talk about back home for a bit. After Indiana, Barry moved around a lot and ended up in New York. In between Indiana and New York, he was a member of the United States Army. In his Army days, Barry jumped from many a plane. During one jump, a helmet-cam was used to take photographs of the paratroopers. Jump ahead! years later, Barry is walking through a bookstore and there on the cover of a book “Sky Soldiers” is Barry jumping from the plane. Right there on the cover. And Barry has the book with him tonight. Pretty cool. I’m always afraid my picture will someday show up on the cover of “College Mistakes.”

A&S#2: Molly Carrigan of Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minnesota.
Molly is an assistant at a realtor office. How is business in the Minneapolis real estate market? Molly says it’s good. And how about the weather? “The winters are brutal, aren’t they?” Dave asks knowing the answer. Dave hears it starts snowing the day after Labor Day . . . . and doesn’t stop till the day before Labor Day.

What does Molly have to show or tell? Molly can twist her arms into the shape of a pretzel and put her head through the small hole between her wrists and elbows. Another words, she can point her right palm to the right, her left palm to the left. She then crosses her arms and clasps her hands. She then rotates fists down and towards her. You see that little space between your wrists and elbows? Molly can squeeze her head through that. Dave thinks it’s impossible. I’ll let you try it yourself now. I’ll wait. Right palm to the right, left to the left. Cross and clasp. Rotate. OK, go. . . . . . . . Can’t do it, right? But Molly can. We see her squeeze her head threw the opening. Dave becomes alarmed when it looks like she may get stuck. He then realizes, “Of course, I guess if you get stuck you can simply release your hands.” I laughed at that.

When Vicky comes down the aisle to present the gifts to Molly, she has something to say to Dave. She and Dave enjoy the golf chat and she invites Dave to bring his sticks to work one day and maybe play a round. Of course, you have to remember, “You drive for show, putt for dough.” She then offers the tip, “Keep your head down and your elbows straight.”

A&S#3: Charles Kopelman, from right here in New York.
Charles is a theatrical literary agent. What’s he got for us? 40 years ago Charles came to the Ed Sullivan Theater to see the Beatles! His father was able to garner some tickets and Charles came to the show with his brother and sister. And his brother and sister are here with him tonight. Dave looks over and greets the family, adding “Welcome back, by the way.” When the Ed Sullivan DVDs came out a few years ago, Charles was surprised to see himself sitting in the audience from that night 40 years ago when another guest that night Soupy Sales danced “The Mouse” up the aisle. We have a clip of that special night, and there we see the young Charles enjoying “The Mouse.”

Gee whiz. A mouse and beetles in the Ed Sullivan Theater. Things haven’t changed much.

And that was Audience Show and Tell.

Back from commercial, Dave says the break felt more like a vacation than a commercial. “We had time to go to Minneapolis to look for real estate.” Yes, the break did go a bit longer than usual but we did make good use of the time. During the break, the LATE SHOW bought some property in Lake Elmo.

The current weather in Minneapolis is 42 and rainy. The wind chill makes it feel like 80 below. And sunset today was 12:24 PM.

Did you see the exciting final episode of The Amazing Race Tuesday night? Congratulations to Ucheena and Joyce. What a season it has been, and we have some of the highlights of this very popular program. We see contestants running during the amazing race. It is really amazing. Running, jumping, and . . . running. It’s amazing. Uh oh. I didn’t know about this. One of the contestants in “The Amazing Race” is attacked and eaten by a Jurassic dinosaur. Wow! Now that is amazing. I’m surprised I didn’t read about that.

With another Al Qaeda head honcho captured, the morale of the terrorists have hit an all-time low. I can understand why. Imagine if all your bosses were arrested and put away in prison. How would that make you feel? OK, bad example. Anyway, just accept the premise that Al Qaeda morale is low. And word is getting out. Take a look.

Announcer: “According to intelligence recently obtained by allied forces, morale within al Qaeda is at an all-time lose, and many members are growing discouraged. Which is why there’s a new al Qaeda-strength Zoloft, from Pfizer. In as little as six weeks, you can be your old fanatic self again. Ask your tabib or pharmacist if al Qaeda-strength Zoloft is right for you.”

Announcement: “Yesterday while President Bush was cycling in Maryland . . . . pilots flew dangerously close to the White House. (photos of the President enjoying various outdoor summertime activities) The pilots apologize for their mistake, but assure you we weren’t trying to harm the President. Seriously, if we were trying to get the President, we know the last place he’d be in the middle of the day is at work.
- The Idiot Pilots – Be There.”

Billy explains a little bit about how the show opens. Bob Sheperd, the public announcer for the New York Yankees, who is also known as the voice of God, makes an announcement just before the curtain comes up. It’s not unusual to hear an announcement before a Broadway show, usually advising that someone is filling in for an absent regular. Of course, 700 Sundays is a one-man show about Billy’s life. Bob Sheperd voice can be heard, “Ladies and gentlemen, playing the part of Billy Crystal tonight will be Bernadette Peters.” This is met with confused murm! urs. Other nights, the announcement will be, “Ladies and gentlemen, playing the part of Billy Crystal tonight will be Kofi Annan. Believe or not, you’ll hear people whisper, “Oh, I hear he is good.” Billy informs Dave that tonight Gilbert Gottfried will be doing Billy Crystal.

I have a friend who coaches high school basketball and junior high school baseball. Whenever we get together, I ask the same thing: “Any good annoying parent stories?” Parents can be such a pain in the ass when it comes to their son or daughter and sports. He’ll roll his eyes and give me something like, “My son should be pitching! I pay taxes!” I love hearing the idiocy of it all and how parents cannot see themselves for what they are. Anyway, I feel Dave gets the same guilty pleasure listening to Broadway performers tell ! of the rudeness of the audience. Billy says it’s hard to get through an emotional part of the show when someone in the front row is loudly yawning or sneezing, or coughing or putting their feet on stage. And of course, there are the cell phones. Billy starts to explain something that happened during a performance that appeared in the New York Post. Dave jumps in, “Yeah, I read about that. I said ‘That doesn’t sound like Billy.’” Billy, without waiting a second, says, “What, when I said ‘shove it up your ass’?”

Here’s the story. It was an emotion part of the performance and of course someone’s cell phone goes off. It rings and rings and rings and rings. The person in the audience wouldn’t turn it off because he or she didn’t want anyone to know it was theirs. It rang and rang and rang. Later in the show, another cell phone went off. And later, another, And another. And another. During the performance, 12 different cell ! phones went off. At the end of the show during the curtain call, Billy thanked everybody for coming. He then said, “And for you people with the cell phones; the next time you come to the theater . . . if you’re allowed in to a theater . . . please do one of 3 things.
1. Turn it off.
2. Don’t take it. Or
3. Shove it up your ass. . . . and put it on vibrate so at least you can enjoy it.”

Billy told this story very well, directing the audience when to groan and moan as if they were at the theater with the annoying cell phones. Each time a cell phone rang at the theater, the audience would groan.

After some Yankee talk, Dave and Billy mentioned the runaway bride from Georgia. Billy comes to her defense, explaining, “Have you seen the groom?” Billy says the marriage may still be on, and wonders, “Where are they registered? At Bellvue?” Dave countered with, “Bed, Bath, and Way Beyond.”

Billy’s 700 Sundays is nominated for a Tony Award: “Best Special Theatrical Event.”
It is up against:
Dame Edna: Back with a Vengeance
Laugh Whore starring Mario Cantone
Whoopi, the 20th Anniversary Show.

The 59th Annual Tony Awards will be held Sunday, June 5th at Radio City Music Hall.

Looking for some good easy listening music? Check out these CDs:
From the February 10, 2005 Wahoo Gazette:

“Billy is also promoting 2 CDs, ‘The Milt Gabler Story’ and ‘Billy Remembers Billie.’

TOP TEN: Thoughts Going Through Vladimir Putin Mind At This Moment
#7. “I regret not making that 15-minute call to Geico”
#5. “At this point, would it be more dangerous to jump out or stay in?”
#3. “I’d be better off letting Billy Joel drive this thing.”

ACT 5: It’s time for the box-office roundup. Coming in at number 3 is Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy with $9.8 million. Debuting at number 2 is House of Wax with $12.1 million. And holding steady at number one for the 824th consecutive week is Weekend at Bernie’s, which raked in $23.6 million. This has been the box-office roundup. Thanks for watching, and we’ll see you at the movies.”

GARBAGE: From their CD, Bleed Like Me, Garbage performed “Bleed Like Me.” Or the song could have been called, “Song Like Rocky Horror.” And that was our show for Thursday May 12, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

In response to the week Tino Martinez has had for the Yankees, the Yankees are now trying to talk Scott Brosius out of retirement.

I read this in today’s paper:

Soccer Fan Stabbed, Tossed to His Death in Columbia.

“A fan died when he was stabbed and tossed from the upper deck of a stadium at Bogota, Columbia, during fighting among rival spectators that left 23 others wounded in the nation’s worst soccer viole! nce in more than a year.”

Shouldn’t that be the nation’s worst soccer violence “ever”? One dead and 23 left wounded and the best they can say is it was the worst in more than a year?

Hey, Columbia, they make decaf now! Maybe you should switch over.

The Ed Sullivan Show - The Beatles (4th live appearance)
Guest Stars: The Beatles (as Themselves) Marty Allen (as Himself) Allen and Rossi (as Themselves) Cilla Black (as Herself) Fantasio (as Himself) Steve Rossi (as Himself) Soupy Sales (as Himself)
--The Beatles (on tape, recorded 14-Aug-65) – "I Feel Fine," "I'm Down," "Help!," "Yesterday," "Act Naturally" and "Ticket to Ride"
--Cilla Black - "Goin' Out of My Head" & "September In The Rain"

Guests:
--Soupy Sales - talks about Ed's summer vacation.
--Cilla Black - "September In The Rain"
--Fantasio (illusionist/ magician) - slight-of-hand artist
--The Beatles – "I Feel Fine," "I'm Down" and "Act Naturally"
--Steve Rossi - sings "Try to Remember"
--Marty Allen and Steve Rossi (comedy team) - Allen demonstrates different sports that he's tried. Ends with Rossi singing "We Love You."
--Cilla Black - "Goin' Out of My Head"
--Soupy Sales - "The Mouse"
--The Beatles – "Ticket to Ride," "Yesterday" and "Help!"
--Ed Sullivan closing comments, next week's guests, closing titles.
- This was the final black & white episode of "The Ed Sullivan Show."
- George Fenneman: appetite enhancer
According to the Lipton commercial, tea is considered an "appetite enhancer"(?)

So let’s see: one Ed Sullivan show had 6 songs from the Beatles, talk and dance from Soupy Sales, two songs from Cilla Black, a magic act, a comedy routine, and two more songs. That’s a jammed pack show, I’d say.

So, who was on TV when Elvis shot out his television because he was disgusted with what was on? Priscilla wouldn’t say, but Wahoo readers think they know.

It was ROBERT GOULET! At least according to:
Michelle Gerry of Jackson, Michigan.
Mike Wood of Johnston, South Carolina
Someone named Matthews.
Gerri Sims of Sacramento
John Hill of Groton, Massachusetts

George Schmidt of Fairview, New Jersey adds:

I believe it was Robert Goulet . I recall the first ELVIS TV-Movie w/Kurt Russell (who co-starred w/The King in one of his films during his childhood acting days - IT HAPPENED AT THE WORLD's FAIR - ) has a sequence w/Russell as Elvis watching Goulet on the tv and promptly pulls a revolver and shooting the screen out. Very cool!

“Elvis shot out the television because Robert Goulet was playing on the television set. It is also said that this happened more than once and another set was shot out when Mel Torme was on the screen. In Priscilla's movie "Elvis & Me," this is depicted so I'm not quite sure what the big secret is about who was on the television when Elvis shot it up.”

“I once read that Elvis shot out the TV whenever Engelbert Humperdinck came on. I can't find the exact quote (my library of Elvis literature is quite vast), but I recall that Elvis thought his singing was insincere and lacked heart. There were a few other people that Elvis shot at, but old Engelbert's the only one that comes to mind."

L. Gifford: “This is late, Mike, but I hope not too late. I believe Elvis shot Vic Damone on the TV.”

THIS DATE IN NHL HOCKEY HISTORY
May 12, 2004: The Tampa Bay Lightning apologizes for a promotion offering free beer to season ticket holders.