It's America's Fastest Growing Quiz Sensation, Know Your Current Events.
1. Stephanie, from Ontario. She's a stay-at-home mom with 2 little girls, Kaylie and Lexi. Dave offers Stephanie the opportunity to say hello to her daughters. She does, and then Dave says . . . . c'mon, you should know what Dave says next . . . . right, he looks into the camera and says, "What are you doing up so late?!" Dave asks the pretty Stephanie if she is here with her husband? She says "Yeah." Dave sighs and mumbles, "Ah, that's too bad." We meet husband Brent. Dave gives the KYCE category card to Stephanie and lets her and her husband talk it over as to what category to play. Tonight's categories are:
Know Your Current Events
Know Your Cuts of Meat
Know Your American Idol Scandals
Know Your 15-Pound Cheeseburgers
Know Your Kentucky Derby Jockeys
Know Your Giant Pinata

Ooooh, the giant pinata. In celebration of Cinco de Mayo, we have a giant pinata out on 53rd Street. It is 800 pounds and filled with 500 pounds of assorted candy and 100 pounds of confetti. It stands 10 feet tall, 12 feet long, and 7 feet wide. It has a wood skeleton frame and is covered with 2 miles of crepe paper. Also on 53rd Street, a city bus. The bus is 40 feet long, 36,000 pounds, and has seating enough for 32. Later in the show, the bus will smash into the giant pinata. The bus will reach a speed of 25 mph.

After a brief discussion between Stephanie and Brent, Stephanie opts for Know Your Giant Pinata.
1. Of the 800 pounds gross weight of the giant pinata, how many pounds is candy? Answer: 500.
2. Where did we apply for the permit to drive a bus into a giant pinata? Answer: The New York City Department of Pinatas.

She did quite well, did Stephanie. Stephanie and Brent receive gifts courtesy of the Late Show. Our friend Vicky, who brings down the gifts, asks for a moment to say something. Vicky wishes all the mothers out there a happy Cinco de Mayo. She then adds, "As they say down in Rio, 'Huesta Luego, you low riding punks.'" And she's not done. She finishes with "Muy muy caliente."

CONTESTANT #2: Tom of Bedford, New Hampshire. Do Bedfordians commute to Boston? Some do, says Tom. What does Tom do? "I'm a financial planner," says Tom. Dave pretends interest, asking "You ever meet that Alan Greenspan? He's like a know-it-all, isn't he?"
Jeff is here with his wife, Kimberly, and the two of them choose the category, Know Your American Idol Scandals.
Dave praises the very popular program, asking the audience, "How many watch the 'American Idol'?" Quite a few in the audience respond in the affirmative. I "Played the Dave" and guessed Dave would follow with "And how many watch this show?" He didn't ask that question. I lost.
Question #1. According to his Alabama arrest warrant for cocaine possession, what is current "American Idol" contestant Bo Bice's real name? Answer: Harold
Question #2. Recently-eliminated "American Idol" contestant Scott Savol posted how much bail after his arrest in 2001? Before answering, Tom asks if he could talk it over with his wife. Answer: $7,500.

Vicky comes down the aisle with her gifts for Tom. Vicky is also from New Hampshire and Dave invites her to talk about New Hampshire with Tom. Vicky says about Bedford, "I've been to weddings there. You ever go to weddings there?" It didn't go on much further.

And that's how we play Know Your Current Events.

Do you know what today is? Yes, of course Cinco de Mayo, but do you know what else? That's right: 05/05/05. We're Cinco Loco! And what is the Cinco de Mayo celebration all about? Back on May 5, 1862, Mexico defeated the invading French Army at the Battle of Puebla. It has nothing to do with Mexico's Independence Day.

It's time for another Memorable Internship Moment: Standing by the spiral staircase is Production Intern, Frank McElroy: "On my very first day, I accidentally bumped into Dave in the hallway. He said, 'Watch it, asshole.'"

And now a message from George W. Bush:

"The system for too long had just shuffled children through and just hoped for the best. And guess what happened? We had people graduating from high school who were illiterate. / I happen to be one of them."

Dave thanks his mom for helping out. And what does she plan on doing the rest of the day? She replies, "The neighbors are coming over and I'm going to eat my weight in clams."

My top ten joke submission for today: "Boyhood dream was to see a city bus smash in to a giant pinata." If you look at the list again, you'll see it wasn't picked.

It's time to take care of this giant pinata.
Weather Conditions:
Temperature: 61 degrees
Humidity: 35%
Barometric Pressure: 30.51 inches and falling
Wind: from the southeast at 6 MPH
Visibility: 10 miles
Sunrise: 5:59 A.M.
Sunset: 7:56 P.M.
Low Tide: 12:56 P.M.
High Tide: 7:11 P.M.
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent.

A crane lifts the giant 800-pound pinata 30 inches off the ground. The bus revs and rambles toward the giant pinata. At a speed of 25 mph, the bus smashes into the pinata. Confetti flies all over, though I didn't see much candy. We see it again from a few different angles and it looked pretty cool. Happy Cinco de Mayo, everybody.

LUKE WILSON: He wrote, directed, and stars in the new film, "The Wendell Baker Story." He tells a very funny story of trying to direct 78-year-old Harry Dean. It's not easy yelling and telling a 78-year-old he's not doing it right. At one point the tough and cantankerous Dean told on Luke to Luke's mom that he swore at him. Luke's mom was on the set as the photographer. She then gave Luke a talking to.
Luke comes from a show biz family, sharing the limelight with brothers Owen and Andrew. You may remember that Luke once guest hosted the Late Show, March 26, 2003, when Dave was out getting an ass-job in Mexico.
So why haven't we heard of "The Wendell Baker Story"? It won Best Picture at the Vail Film Festival and Dave has said he found the film very enjoyable. Luke is still looking for a distributor. Watching the clip, I marked it down as a film I would have interest in seeing. I know it's nearly impossible to tell much from a 30-second clip but I liked the feel to it, the quirkiness, and the treating of the odd as normal. How could I see so much in only 30 seconds? I really can't, but it's the impression I got.
"The Wendell Baker Story" - look for it at a theater near you.

ACT 5: It's the bus smashing into the pinata . . . . in slow motion reverse.

KASABIAN: From their debut CD, "Kasabian," Kasabian performed "Club Foot."

And that was our show for Thursday, May 5, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

Not a good sign: This morning when my girls were getting ready for school, I yelled up to Danielle, "I left out your Yankee shirts. You pick if you want the Jeter shirt or the A-Rod shirt." She loves the Yankees. A few minutes later she came downstairs. She wasn't wearing a Yankee shirt. She said, "I don't want to wear my Yankee shirts anymore." She had on a "Hello, Kitty" shirt. The mighty New York Yankees have fallen hard.

Local scribes are comparing today's Yankees to the 1965 Yanks: a championship caliber team that suddenly got old.

Five years ago I had Wahoo readers write in on what they thought would be the first new show to be canceled in the 2000 fall season. Receiving the most votes:
"Yes, Dear." Five years later, "Yes, Dear" can still be seen on CBS, Wednesday's at 9:30. The season finale will air May 18th. Will it be renewed? I hear it's "on the bubble." Here are some things said about "Yes, Dear" in recent days.
-"Yes, Dear" has been routinely holding or increasing the ratings lead-in provided by the "King of Queens."
-"Its performance has opened some eyes around here," a CBS insider told Variety.

Perhaps after 5 years and quite possibly a 6th, "Yes, Dear" may deserve some props. I've never seen it but I may make a point of tuning in. It's been given up for dead more than once but it keeps on chugging along. I like that in a person. Why do I mention the "Yes, Dear"? I don't know, but it certainly has struck a curiosity cell in my brain.

And now, my Kentucky Derby picks. I don't know the ponies, but I like to make a pick for the Derby just to make it interesting.
Bellamy Road - he's the favorite at 5-2, so it's no fun rooting for this one. Plus, you'll impress nobody if you pick Bellamy Road and he wins. Big deal. I'm not the only one who thinks this way. In Friday's USA Today, out of 22 writers, only 2 are picking Bellamy Road.
The horses that have caught my myopic eye are High Limit #6 (12-1), Afleet Alex #12 (9-2), Coin Silver #5 (20-1), Don't Get Mad #17 (30-1), Noble Causeway #4 (12-1), and Greeley's Galaxy #9 (15-1).
#7 Flower Alley ((20-1) was sired by Distorted Humor, who was the father of Funny Cide.
#9 Greeley's Galaxy (15-1): 83-year-old trainer Warren Stute would be the oldest to ever win the Derby.

And now narrowing my picks: I wish he had a better starting position, but I'm liking #17 "Don't Get Mad" at 30-1.
I also like quick finisher #4 "Noble Causeway" at 12-1.
After 8 minutes of mental deliberation, if I had $100 to lose, I would put $60 on "Noble Causeway" (12-1) to win.
$20 on "Greeley's Galaxy" (15-1) to win.
$10 on "Don't Get Mad" (30-1) to win.
And every time I go to the track, I have to bet the 5-3 Exacta, in this case $10 on Coin Silver to win, Sun King to place.

So there you have it. I like "Noble Causeway." I'm hoping for good news for "Greeley's Galaxy's" old trainer. "Don't Get Mad" is my long shot. And 5-3 just because.

So why do I put my Kentucky Derby picks in Thursday's Wahoo and not Friday's? Because I know most of you are only willing to waste time reading the Wahoo while at work and never would do so on your free time at home.

THIS DATE IN NHL HOCKEY HISTORY
May 5, 1966: The Montreal Canadians defeat the Detroit Red Wings 4 games to 2 to win the Stanley Cup.