It was such a nice day out today here in the city. So nice, in fact, Dave saw something quite peculiar during his noon time jog. Luckily he brought his camcorder along to record it. We see a clip of a surgery in progress out on the sidewalk. It was so nice today, everyone wanted to work outside.

We better enjoy the nice weather now. I hear it's going to pour rain on Friday.

And now it's time for Soap Opera Clip of the Night. It's from the NBC hit soap, "Passions." We see an older woman holding a letter in her hand. She is weeping. She looks down at someone off camera to share her grief. Cut to a monkey looking up at her. Huh?
The monkey's name is Precious. Check it out.
http://www.nbc.com/nbc/Passions/photo_recaps/1448_2.shtml#photo

DAVE'S RECORD COLLECTION: Hey, we haven't done this in a while. It's the child of Late Show staff writer, Steve Young. Some of my favorites tonight:

-An instructional record titled, "Learn To Sing - Voice Exercises for Voice Development." We listen to Miss Canfield demonstrate Exercise D. The high-pitched out of tune garbled warble creates anguish in dogs and humans alike.
Says Dave - "This is what they use at Gitmo to get Al-Qaeda members to talk." Was Miss Canfield a member of "The Tokens?"

-Dave has a CD titled "Songs from the Crystal Cave." It's an album by Steven Segal that was released only in France. We listen to a song called, "Music." Listening to it, my first thought: "The French deserve it." Says Dave - "My ears are 'Under Seige.'"

-An instructional record titled, "Learn To Touch Type." We listened to Exercise 29. It went something like this: "S D W Q A space. G T Y H B space." Says Dave - "I think that was the name of my cab driver this morning."

PENELOPE CRUZ: It's her first time here and we're glad to have her. She admits to being a bit intimidated about being on the show but finally "got the balls" to come on.
Penelope grew up in Spain and is glad she wasn't raised in today's America. She was an active child and in today's America she would have been diagnosed and, as Dave puts it, "gooned up" on slow-down meds. Dave says he too was an active child, often running to Muncie just to burn off access energy. Of course, being from Spain, Penelope's native tongue is Spanish. Our cue card boy, Tony "AARP" Mendez, also knows Spanish and Dave invites them to speak. Dave loves the sound of the language. Penelope and Tony speak together in the melodic Spanish. Things then got ugly. I'm not sure what was said, but Tony took offense and started screaming and ranting at the lovely actress, storming off the stage is utter and phony anger. Penelope stars in the April 8th release of the film, "Sahara," along with Matthew McConaughey. It was filmed in the Sahara and the scenery looks enchanting.

SARAH VOWELL: Oh, I always like her. She's a frequent contributor to National Public Radio's "This American Life" and the author of the new book, "Assassination Vacation." And she did voice work for the film, "The Incredibles." The woman is hot! Film, TV, radio, books! She's the Queen of all media!
Sarah says she is quite happy with her work in "The Incredibles," mostly because her family is finally impressed with her. Nothing she's done before ever got them too excited.
And then right about at this point in the interview I was called away and missed the rest. I planned on watching the show at home but I woke up on the couch at 5:00 AM with FOX playing on the TV. I must have fallen asleep during Idol.

Anyway, some stuff I found about Sarah and her book "Assassination Vacation" while talking to a staffer Thursday morning:
Sarah enjoys writing about American history. While researching the Garfield assassination, Paul Shaffer's name came up in the reading. Garfield faced controversy over this appointment of the Customs Director, a very important job in New York City at the time. The Customs House was in a building downtown which happens to be where Liza Minnelli and David Gests's wedding reception was held. And during this research, Paul Shaffer's name came up, bold-face, as an attendee.
The man who assassinated Garfield was one of the most entertaining jackasses in all of history. He never succeeded at anything. He was unemployed, divorced, homeless college dropout who joined a sex cult and couldn't even get laid there. It was in an upstate New York community which had some pretty wild sexual practices, basically, fondling your neighbor's wife was as normal as frying an egg. But nobody wanted anything to do with Charles Giteau. In fact, they nicknamed him Charles "Gitout." Sarah admits on some level she is grateful for Charles Giteau because if you're writing an historical book about presidential assassinations, it's nice if one of your assassins winds up to be a member of a sex cult.
By the time I came back, Sarah was talking about teaching her nephew about decapitations.
"Assassination Vacation" - sure to be a side-splitter. Get it for the beach.

ACT 5: It's our boom operator Al Norwood. Way back on March 30, 1960, Al started working at CBS. It's the only company he's ever worked for. Congratulations, Al, on 45 years at CBS.

KAISER CHIEFS: The exciting new band from Leeds, England was making the network television debut. From their CD, "Employment," the lads performed "I Predict a Riot." The buzz surrounding Kaiser Chiefs was on high volume throughout the day. The band is a comer.

And that was our show for Wednesday, March 30, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

March 30 - it's Vincent Van Gogh's birthday! How well do you know Vince? From a quiz I found somewhere on the internet.

1. What year was Vincent Van Gogh born?
A) 1857 B) 1853 C) 1922

2. Which artist did Van Gogh threaten to kill with a razor?
A) Leonardo da Vinci B) Picasso C) Paul Gauguin

3) Which disease did Van Gogh suffer from?
A) Dysentery B) Cholora C) Epilepsy

4) What kind of paint did Van Gogh mostly use?
A) acrylic B) oil C) water color

5) Which painting did Van Gogh sell while he was alive?
A) "Red Vineyards" B) "Starry Night" C) "A Pair of Shoes"

6) In what country was Van Gogh born?
A) Netherlands B) France C) England

7) What two kinds of pictures did Van Gogh repeatedly paint?
A) squirrels and oranges B) sunflowers and shoes C) beads and crows

8) Which ear did Van Gogh shear off?
A) left B) right C) both

9) What did Van Gogh's girlfriend do when he gave her his ear?
A) thanked him B) faint C) gave it back to him

10) What "bug" did Van Gogh kill just so he could paint it?
A) cricket B) moth C) cockroach

THIS DATE IN NHL HOCKEY HISTORY
March 30, 1918 - The Toronto Arenas (NHL) beat the Vancouver Millionaires (PCHA) 3 games to 2 to win the Stanley Cup.

Marc Anthony, to Vincent Van Gogh: "Dammit, Vincent! I wasn't being literal!"

Answers to quiz:
1. B. 1853
2. C. Paul Gauguin
3. C. Epilepsy
4. B. Oil
5. A. Red Vineyards
6. A. Netherlands
7. B. Sunflowers and shoes
8. B. Right
9. B. Faint
10. B. Moth

That's it from me tonight. You got a problem with that? That's tough. I'm over 40. You can't touch me.