One of Dave's monologue jokes: "Martha Stewart's getting out of prison Sunday. Her first order of business: Pick up her take at the High Hat Club." It didn't receive much of a reaction but Dave chuckled anyway, saying the joke was mainly for him and nobody else. He didn't expect anyone to get the reference but he enjoyed telling it anyway. A two-minute Google of "High Hat Club" and "gangsters" got me something from the Bowery Boys. I picture the reference having something to do with a gangster being thrown in prison, not squealing, and at the end of his sentence he goes to the High Hat Club for his cut from the big heist he was imprisoned for. When I have time, I'll do some more Googling for the High Hat Club.

Have you heard about this guy Steve Fossett who is attempting to become the first to solo non-stop around the world? He took off from Salina, Kansas on Monday and is hoping to complete the 23,000-mile flight sometime Thursday noon. The aircraft is called the GlobalFlyer. Dave says he knows little about aviation but this feat, if accomplished, will mean absolutely nothing in the realm of things. It's a big "who cares?" It proves nothing. It only means some rich guy with lots of time on his hands can take something to make him stay awake for a long time. Well, right about now he's scheduled to fly over New York. Dave listens and . . . . yes . . . . here he comes now. We look behind Dave in the skyline and we see the plane flown by Steve Fossett making it across the sky. Wowee. Now that was high tech! We see a small plane running along a filament across the skyline. Dave reconsiders his thinking of the around-the-world flight. "I'm sorry. If I'd known he had to run a wire around the world to accomplish this I wouldn't have said what I said."

Salina, Kansas --- how do you pronounce Salina? I always thought it was Saleena. But I heard a guy on the radio this morning pronounce it Suh-LINE-uh.
When Dave was talking about it on the show, he called it Saleena, like me, and he's from the midwest. And someone in the shack where I watch the show said it's Suh-LINE-uh. I'm unsure. The guy in the shack seemed confident it was Suh-LINE-uh. Any Salinians out there?

Oh, and by the way, I received an e-mail from a nun. She says it's St. Au-GUS-tin, not AUGUST-teen. Just as I thought.

Martha Stewart is scheduled to be released from prison Sunday, though she may be out by tonight, and her fellow inmates will miss her dearly. They put together a goodbye message to Ms. Stewart thanking for the transforming the Alderson Federal Prison to look like . . . . . a lovely Connecticut home! A message from the inmates.

GEORGE W. BUSH PICK-UP LINE: From a February 3rd talk in North Dakota. The prison looks off camera and says with a smiling voice, "Are you from Afghanistan?" What made this funny? I'm not sure, but I laughed when I saw it.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF THE MICHAEL JACKSON TRIAL
Some of the more interesting things that happen during the day:
9:00 AM: Prosecution files motion attempting to ban Michael from dressing as a Rockette. (- I found this funny simply for Paul's response, "Motion denied.")
12:30 PM: Michael calls Bubbles the chimp to the stand - trial is halted after Bubbles eats the Bible. (- I found the alliteration amusing, "Bubbles eats the Bible." Plus, Dave called for the plane once again. We see it fly through the skyline.)
3:00 PM: During recess, Michael goes nuts and dangled a bailiff from the balcony.
5:00 PM: Defense witness Elizabeth Taylor marries and divorces a juror. (- Dave says about the photo of Elizabeth Taylor, "Is that Dame Edna?" Big laugh here.)
5:30 PM: Confused Kobe Bryant offers to settle with Michael's accuser. (- Don't get me started.)

LATE SHOW CONVENTION - It started a few years ago as a way to say thanks to Late Show fans. We like to put together a Late Show Convention to allow fan to meet other fans, to meet some of the stars of the show, and to get some feedback about the show. This year's Late Show Convention was covered by Pat O'Brien on "The Insider." They covered it quite well.
We see some conventioneers show up dressed as Dave; some as Paul; some as a mix of both Dave and Paul.
We meet one fan who keeps track of the tie Dave wears each and every night. He was unsure of the tie he wore on Show #990, claiming, "I missed that show due to an asthma attack."
Autographs from Biff, and then Alan Kalter if so desired. No one desired the Alan. Some Late Show memorabilia.
And Paul Shaffer made an appearance.
At the end of "The Insider" report, Pat O'Brien runs off his set. Does he do that every night?

TOP TEN: REASONS I LOVE RACING - And to present tonight's top ten list, 2004 Indianapolis 500 Champion, Buddy Rice
#10. It's way more exciting that my previous job, running an unlicensed daycare.
#8. Winning takes guts, determination, and my lucky underpants.
#6. Anything over 200 miles an hour I start making noises like a kitty. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.
#1. In racing, Jose Canseco doesn't stick your ass with a needle.

BUDDY RICE: winner of the 2004 Indianapolis 500.
The IRL IndyCar Series kicks off the season this Sunday March 6th at the Toyota Indy 300 at the Homestead-Miami Speedway.
Team Rahal/Letterman Racing includes:
Buddy Rice
Vitor Meira - the winner of the 2004 Tony Renna Memorial "Rising Star" Award
Danica Patrick - the only female driver in the IRL IndyCar Series

VIN DIESEL: He of the shaved head. Why? When? He said he shaved it about 15 years ago. He explains, "Every now and then, a man has to make a choice." Vin made his decision. Paul made his. Dave says it helps in that both Vin and Paul have nice heads. Dave doesn't think he has a head that should be fully exposed. In the shack, we got on the phone to call our graphics department to create a shot of Dave bald. The line was busy. Somebody beat us to it.
When did Vin know he wanted to be an actor? His father worked in theater in New York and so it's been in his blood from the beginning. He says he wanted to be a big star on Broadway. Dave says, "Oh, so you wanted to start as a legitimate actor." I laughed at the line that wasn't supposed to be funny.
At 25 Vin went to California to become a big star. He gave himself a big farewell, reminding all to keep an eye out for him on the silver screen. Two years later, Vin found himself as a telemarketer. He says he sold tools but "spent most of my time talking about movies." He was a bit successful as a telemarketer, making and saving enough money to create a short film called "Multi-Facial." It was seen by Stephen Spielberg who then wrote Vin into the film, "Saving Private Ryan." And the rest is history.
Back from commercial, we see a shot of what Dave would look like bald. Uhhh. I think it's a good idea that Dave has decided to go with a piece.
Dave and Vin talk about Vin's dog (bit someone), his work as a bouncer (ouch), and his new film, "The Pacifier." It's Vin in the unusual role as a baby-sitting, daycare guy. It opens on Friday.

ACT 5: It's time for "Signs of Spring with Late Show Building Engineer George Clarke"
George: "This morning I captured and ate a robin. Sum'bitch was delicious."
This has been "Signs of Spring with Late Show Building Engineer George Clarke!" Tell your friends.

Amos Lee: From his self titled CD, "Amos Lee," Amos Lee performed "Seen It All Before." I liked it. Dare I say it had a touch of the Neil Young, but that would be sacrilegious. And he looked a little like an old friend Terry Diffley. I think he now goes by "Ted." You can see Amos opening for Bob Dylan on his current tour.

And that was our show for Wednesday, March 2, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

It's time once again for WAHOO GAZETTE USELESS FACTS, found at www.pmbc.com.
-the plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets
-The A & W of root beer fame stands for Allen and Wright
-Charles de Gaulle's final words were, "It hurts."
-There are four cars and ten lightposts on the back of a ten-dollar bill
-Gilligan of Gilligan's Island had a first name that was only used once, on the never-aired pilot show. His first name was . . . . Answer in tomorrow's Wahoo Gazette.
-The Skipper's real name . . . .
-The Professor's first name . . .
-Mary Ann's last name . . .
-Mrs. Howell's maiden name . . .

And now it's time for "I Got Nothing" - Fireballs still work for me. They remain one of my favorite candies, though they tend to be hard to find. I used to buy them by the handful.
This concludes "I Got Nothing."

Tune in tomorrow for a lot more of nothing.

THIS DATE IN NHL HOCKEY HISTORY
March 2, 1929 - The Chicago Black Hawks shutout for an NHL record 8th straight game