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Thursday, February 17, 2005
Show #2321
By Michael Z. McIntee Change Text Color:
Black | White


Charlie Sheen; and Tori Amos.
PLUS: Audience Show and Tell; a Top Ten List; and Pat Farmer Throws Stuff Off the Roof All Night Long.

While in the audience for Audience Show and Tell, Dave throws to Pat Farmer who is on the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater. Pat will be throwing stuff off the roof all night long. Pat is up about 90 feet above the sidewalk. Before tossing the first item, Dave asks, “Pat, what is it I always say before we do this?” Pat thinks for a second and ventures, “Hang on to your wigs and keys?” Dave laughs and corrects, “No. Safety first!”

The first item off the roof tonight: a variety of 2-liter bottles of soda pop. Pat throws the Orange Sunkist soda, Red 7-Up, cola, grape, lime, and other sodas I can’t make up at the moment. Nicely done.

AUDIENCE SHOW AND TELL #1.
Rich Meyer
from Bloomfield, New Jersey.
Where’s that? It’s in Essex County, just through the Lincoln Tunnel, no more than 10 miles away. Saying some place is 10 miles away from midtown Manhattan tells us little.

You need to tell us how long in time a place is. Bloomfield may be 10 miles. It could also easily be an hour.

What does Rich do for a living? He’s a strength and conditioning coach. Dave asks, “What kind of clients do you have? Lonely housewives?” Dave also asks, “Are steroids bad if used properly?” And “what kind of regiment would you put me on to build me up?” Rich tells Dave, “I’d get you a lot of steroids and put you on a lot of weigh training.”

What does Rich have for us tonight? He can hold a peanut M&M in the dimple on his cheek, and then flip the M&M into his mouth. We are ready to go . . . . and Rich does exactly what he said he would. Nice going. Now everybody at home right now go to your kitchen and find something you can try this with. I’ll wait here.

You’re back? Good. Did you pick up the thing you used after it fell on the floor? And did you put it in the garage? Good.

AUDIENCE SHOW AND TELL #2.
Mark Hankla
of Danbury, Connecticut.
He’s a lighting director for theater and dance. How does he like our lighting? Mark is very impressed with our lights. Dave then shows the power of being a host by calling for the house lights to be dimmed. After a comedic beat, the lights finally lower.

What does Mark have for us? Back in the late 1990’s, Mark appeared in Walker, Texas Ranger. He was to kill Walker. I know I don’t have to tell you, but Walker of course is Chuck Norris. Mark in this episode was known as Shooter #2. He fails in his mission, then has to explain why to his boss. We see the clip. Nice gig by Mark. Nice part. Dave says, “Many things come to mind seeing that clip. Hard to believe that show was really on the air.” Hey, kids. For more Mark Hankla info, Google “Mark Hankla.”

AUDIENCE SHOW AND TELL #3.
Robin Frank
of Minnetonka, Minnesota.
And what does Minnetonka mean? Dave surmises it to be an Indian word. Robin breaks the word down and comes up with, “Minne” means water. “Tonka” means 10,000 lakes. I guess that’ right, being a town in Minnesota.

What does Robin do? She can dance the Electric Slide while balancing 8 books on her head.

Dave asks Paul if he could play the Electric Slide. Paul answers with great glum, “Yeah, I guess.” I laughed at that a whole lot. Robin puts the books on her head, Paul plays the music, and Robin begins to dance. Great job, but can she do the Cotton-Eyed Joe?

I did my own research on Minnetonka. I found it to be an Indian word meaning “small toy truck.”

The all-important weather conditions for tonight’s Tower Drop:
Temperature: 38 degrees
Humidity: 51%
Barometric Pressure: 29.78 inches and falling
Wind: from the northwest at 9 mph
Visibility: 10 miles
Sunrise: 6:47 AM
Sunset: 5:33 PM
High Tide: at 3:26 PM
Low Tide: at 9:37 PM

The next object of the night: Pat will pour 4 cans of brightly colored paint onto a waiting camera below. Pat performs this job nicely, creating a nice image below. Dave suggests to Pat, “See if you can get a guy to take a leak off the roof.” Pat says, “Give me about a half hour.”

TOP TEN: Most Common Questions About ‘The Gates’
The Gates: 7,500 Curtained gates through Central Park, covering 23 miles.
Cost: $21 million paid for by Christo and Jeanne-Claude
The Gates will remain for 16 days.
The city is expecting the exhibit to bring in 80 million tourist dollars

#10. Why?
#8. Will it improve my cell phone reception?
#3. If you rearrange the letters in “Christo” you can spell “ostrich.”

Hmmm. I liked #3 . . . . but it wasn’t really a question, was it?

The next object to be thrown off the roof: a television set with a live shot of Dave. Pat sends this over with glee. Unfortunately, the screen was facing the building most of the way down so we couldn’t get a real good shot.

Dave goes off the page and requests more paint to be dropped. Pat, saving the remaining cans for the big finale later in the show, quickly must open a few cans for the drop. Dave likes the results, claiming it to be our own art project. “Take that, Christo!”

Taking another look at our “work of art” on the sidewalk of 53rd Street, Dave believes our creation will bring in $8 - $10 tourist dollars.

CHARLIE SHEEN: Dressed in all black. He’s in the Two and a Half Men CBS program. I hear that it is hoped to be next year’s Raymond for CBS. Something has been bothering Charlie for 15 years now. As a guest way back then on LATE NIGHT, Charlie told the story of being mugged on his way to the show. It was a captivating and entertaining story. Tonight, Charlie wants to clear his soul. He was never mugged. He told the story simply to be interesting and to have something to fill up his 8 minutes. Gee whiz. The guy gets a big successful TV show and he thinks he can confess to anything.

Dave understands and says, “It takes a big man to admit this . . . . but Charlie . . . . we’re gonna have to ask you to leave.” Charlie gets up and starts to exit. Dave calls him back. All is forgiven. In fact, Dave doesn’t care the least. As long as the story is entertaining, the guests can lie all they want.

Charlie enjoyed the earlier Audience Show and Tell and has something he would like to show. Years ago he broke his pinky finger playing soccer and it was never reset correctly. He is now able to bend it completely backwards or sideways or someway that isn’t natural. Charlie demonstrates. Ewwwwwww. Yeah, but can he bend his pinky like that while dancing the Electric Slide?

Before saying goodbye, Dave says Charlie has agreed to go to the roof and throw something off.

CHARLIE ON THE ROOF: Mr. Sheen is on the roof with a bowling ball. He will attempt to knock over the 10 bowling pins set up below. He somewhat meekly leans over the ledge. Dave warns, “Hold on to your wigs and keys.” Charlie drops the bowling ball and it lands a bit short. The ensuing bounce knocked down 2 pins. Charlie is given another bowling ball in hopes of picking up the spare. Thank goodness the ball-return was working. No need for the “reset” button. Charlie drops the second ball and it too lands short. The bounce resulted in nothing. Playing by the LATE SHOW Bowling Rules, and since he has a hit show on CBS, Charlie is given a 3rd shot. With a little more confidence, Charlie releases the bowling ball. BINGO! Charlie picks up the hard-to-get spare!

ACT 5: It’s the reverse shot of things thrown from the roof.

TORI AMOS: From her soon to be released CD, The Beekeeper, Tori performed the lovely “Sleep with Butterflies.”

To close the show, Pat throws everything he has leftover over the side of the building. Items included flour, 5-gallon water bottles, champagne, light bulbs, a ceramic dog, glitter, giant pilate balls, over-inflated car tires, and other stuff, I guess.

Such a spectacular! I hadn’t seen such since I witnessed the Illuminations at Epcot back in December.

Assisting Pat all night long was his trusty assistant, Tom O’Brien. You may remember Tommy from playing the role of an old Harry Potter in a recent attempt of ours at comedy.

And that was our show for Thursday, February 17, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

I did a quick Google check on the Walker, Texas Range guy we had from Audience Show and Tell. The episode in which he appeared was called “Royal Heist.” I found this interesting --- in the same episode, RuPaul appeared as a guy named Bob. “The Gates” – Yea or Nay? - I’ll be going to take a look Friday morning.

From Pat Flynn of New York:

”I visited the gates (Sorry, ‘The Gates’) and it kind of left me cold, but I realized right away what Mayor Bloomberg loves about it. The curtains are exactly the same color as a New York City parking summons. 23 miles of parking tickets! That has to get him hot, because prior to this I thought the enduring symbol of his term as mayor was going to be the ten-fold increase in parking violations he has overseen. Mayor Bloomberg: keeping New Yorkers safe from art neophytes and 62-minute parkers.”
In Monday’s Wahoo I wrote how I saw Christo and Jeanne-Claude more as wise businessmen than artists. Here’s my theory. Christo is making a load of money selling his drawings of “The Gates.” He draws up a whole bunch of pictures of “The Gates,” then sells them to people who “just have to have it.” Christo doesn’t make any money on his creation in Central Park, but he makes a bundle by selling his drawings of “The Gates” in Central Park.

Christo and Jeanne-Claude get to use one of the most magical parks in the world in the greatest city in the world as advertisement to buy his drawings! $21 million for the use of Central Park and 16 days of advertisement!

And I’m sure there is carry-over to Christo’s other works of art, drawings that are not of “The Gates.” (I saw some of the drawings on 60 Minutes and he is a good drawer) How much do you think the price-tags on his other drawings are hyped due to his name recognition from “The Gates”? So “The Gates” may have cost Team Christo $21 million, they will make it up on the other end.

In Thursday’s New York Post, I found this article:
http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/22005.htm
It pretty much echoes my suspicions.

And on Tuesday I asked:

“Does a fan of NASCAR look at Indy Racing the way an American League baseball fan looks at the National League, or is it more like a baseball fan looking at, say, basketball?” NASCAR and Indy Racing – same sport, different leagues? Or are they two different sports altogether?
From Jamie Nestor of La Mirada, California:
“I think NASCAR is to Indy what rodeo is to horseracing. Same basic device, much different technique.”
From Bill Rinehart of Toledo, Ohio:
“You asked, "NASCAR and Indy racing -- same sport, different leagues? Or are they two different sports altogether?" My take from attending the races and knowing friends who are fans of each type:
NASCAR = Major League Baseball
Indy/Champ cars = Pro Basketball
Formula 1/Sports cars/GTs = World Cup soccer
Sprint cars/late models = Hockey
Professional Drag racing = Football
Amateur Drag Racing = Bowling”
Bill, what about Funny Cars?

Hey, I gotta go. I just got a call. I’m wanted to play a food vendor. Taping is in a few minutes. Hope you see me in it next week. Later!




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