With us tonight is our old friend Deborah Lynn. Deborah Lynn is an intuitive, not a psychic, and was last here way back on June 24, 2003 for Psychic Sandwich. My favorite part of her visits is when Dave asks her what is the difference between a psychic and an intuitive. Have her intuitive skills ever come in handy? It sure has. Once she was walking along a dark city street late at night. She was wearing dark clothing. A taxi cab came barreling down the street. A voice in the back of Deborah’s head yelled at, “He doesn’t see you!” She reacted and the taxi cab missed her by inches. Dave reveals lesson learned: “Always wear light at night.”

How did Deborah do when she played Psychic Sandwich? She just laughs and laughs at the question. Paul offers, “I think she’s saying she never got one right.” That’s correct. She never did.

We are ready to play. Biff is sitting next to Deborah with the chocolate chart mapping each candy in the Whitman’s Sampler. He will determine if Deborah is correct or not in her prediction. Deborah picks up a chocolate. Deborah gets into her trance. An excited Dave yells, “Are you in a trance, Deborah Lynn?” She silently gives the “Please, one second” sign. Coming out of her trance, she says, “Almond.” Biff checks his chart on the underside of the box top. Biff says, “She has coconut.”

Oh, darn. We’ll try again later.

STAR JONES “GIRL” COUNT OF THE NIGHT – Star Jones was at the Screen Actors Guild Awards last week working the red carpet. Let’s take a look at how many times she said “Girl.” After 13 dings, we find she said it 13 times. You go, girl!

It’s Fashion Week in New York City and Dave saw a commercial celebrating that fact. We look at the clip.

“Applebee’s celebrates Fashion Week at its New York locations . . . with extra small dinner specials for supermodels.” We see a lone riblet and a tiny quesadilla on a plate.
“Applebee’s – Eatin’ Good in the Neighborhood.”

VALENTINE’S DAY CARDS
- Love Is a Priceless Gift – So Why Do You Charge Me $80 an Hour?
- That Lingerie I Gave You? I Tried It On.
- This Valentine’s Day, Let’s Make It the Best Conjugal Visit Ever.
- I Loved You From the Moment I Saw Your Internet Sex Video.
- Wife Number 5, I Love You More Than Wives Number 4, 2, and 1, but Not as Much as Number 3.
- It’s Been So Long Since I’ve Seen You. Could You Stop Cosing the Blinds?
- I’m Turning Green. Sweetheart, Are You Poisoning My Soup?
- Thanks For Entering a Sham Marriage So People Think I’m Not Gay.

Dave looks over to our executive producer to make an executive decision. Should Dave continue with the Valentine’s Day Cards? Or should we go back to Deborah Lynn, the intuitive with the box of chocolates? Barbara, realizing we can save the rest of the cards for next year, rightly opts for Deborah Lynn. Deborah presents the unknown, the unscripted, the LIVE television that can be so exciting.

Dave chats with Deborah Lynn. He asks when she first learned she had the gift of intuitiveness; “Were you on the roof of the garage and struck by lightning?” I laughed at the image. Deborah is ready for her next attempt. She picks up the chocolate candy and goes into a trance. After deep thought, she says “A nougat.” I laughed at the image.

Biff checks his chart and proudly announces, “She’s right!” Fanfare from Paul. Excitement throughout the theater! And the most surprised person in the house was Deborah Lynn! It was nice to see Deborah, after all these years, getting something right. That will look nice on her resume. Congratulations, Deborah.

TOP TEN: Messages Left on Jose Canseco’s Answering Machine
Former Major League Baseball player Jose Canseco has written a tell-all book revealing the rampant steroid use in professional baseball.
#10. “Barry Bonds here. Can I get your leftover junk?”
(I liked the use of the word ‘junk.’)
#7. “Jose, could you lift my car so I can change a flat?”
#3. “Hey, it’s your agent. I thought you were dead.”
#2. “This is Jim from Jiffy Lube. Are you coming to work or not?”

Dave reasons that when Jose Canseco was playing, the taking of steroids was legal in baseball. There was no rule against it, so he isn’t sure what the big brouhaha is all about. In fact, Dave himself is known to have dabbled in the steroid use. We take a look at his “before steroids” photo and his “after steroids” photo. Yeah, you can see the difference.

DAVID HYDE PIERCE: I never get too excited when I see David Hyde Pierce on the schedule, but dang it, he delivers the funnies every time he’s on. He’s quickly becoming one of my favorite guests. The guy can change direction on a dime, aware of every little subtle change in conversation that Dave may throw out. He keeps up step for step and then takes it a bit further. The guy is good.

Pierce is appearing in the Broadway musical, Monty Python’s Spamalot. The show has been in Chicago and its New York Previews start Monday, Valentine’s Day. The show officially opens here on St. Patrick’s Day.

DHP says while resting at a hotel recently, he discovered “adult television programming.” Dave the host is familiar with this, offering, “oh, yes, the Spectravision.” DHP continues with his story with a smile, somewhat surprised at how aware Dave is with the adult TV. Dave asks, “And how do you get the films? Do you have to call down to the desk?” DHP quickly replies, “Oh, God no. It appears discreetly on your bill, which I’m sure goes directly to the Department of Homeland Security.”

How is Monty Python’s Spamalot coming along? David Hyde Pierce has nothing but the highest praise for the show, especially the people he is working with. It’s been an absolute delight and a thrill. Dave says the reviews have been very good. Does David read reviews? DHP says, “I used to and that’s why I don’t.” Oooh, I like that line. Made me chuckle. Plus, he says he doesn’t need to read the reviews. That’s what friends are for. They tell you everything that is written in the newspaper.

Monty Python’s Spamalot - previews begin on Monday.

ALAN KALTER’S WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Hmmm. According to Alan, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb and his wife moved to Manchester, Vermont where he became a certified tax planner. He’s opened several locations across the state and his company was named one of Vermont’s Outstanding Small Businesses by Vermont Magazine. And in his spare time, Donovan likes to coach youth soccer and playing in a local accordion band.

ACT 5:
It’s time to announce the winner of our ‘Guess the Winner of Our Previous Contest’ Contest.
Congratulations to Seth Garber of Long Beach, California. Seth correctly guessed that the winner of our previous contest would be Marlene Phipps of Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
Congratulations, Marlene, and congratulations Seth. And thanks to everyone who entered our ‘Guess the Winner of the Previous Contest’ Contest.
Thanks for watching, and drive safely!

HOWIE DAY: From his re-release of his CD, Stop All The World Now, Howie Day performed “Let Me Go.”

And that was our show for Wednesday February 9, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

Note to NHL Hockey: Don’t even think of having a season this year. If you finally settle things, devote the next few months to image-repair and then start anew in October. Attempting to put together a season now would be disastrous and would only invite ridicule and mockery.

The sign of a good basketball player is someone who makes those around him play better. The New York Knicks have a whole roster of players like this. I watched them play last week and they made the Clippers look like a bunch of All-Stars.

For those who would like to chat with fellow Letterman/Late Show fans, check out:
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/alt.fan.letterman

I’m done for now talking about Super Bowl Weekend and putting the game on Saturday. I’m now onto a new programming idea. This one for radio. If I ran a radio station and my programs ran 3rd or 4th against similar formatted stations, I would put my commercial breaks 5 minutes before the competition. Instead of news at the top of the hour and commercial breaks at 20 after and at the half hour, I would put the breaks earlier. This is what would happen: Listeners in their cars are tuned to the more popular stations. A commercial break comes on and the listener starts pushing the radio buttons looking for a non-commercial. I know that when I’m driving home listening to the talk radio, I find when one talk show is in commercial, all the other ones are also in commercial. The shows are formatted to run their commercials at nearly the same time. If the station I ran had their commercials 5 minutes earlier, when the more popular stations go to commercial, I would have just gotten out of mine. Now I’ve got the listener for the next 10-15 minutes. When I go to commercial, the listener flies over to the more popular stations, which will be going to commercial in just a few minutes. Then it’s back to me.

The Wahoo Gazette: Almost always right!