Was Paul McCartney lip-synching during his halftime performance? Dave thinks “yes.” It probably explains why the FOX television camera was positioned in Marietta, Georgia when Paul was in Jacksonville. Could they have gotten a farther shot? I’m all for wide shots, but I was able to see the Atlantic Ocean and the Gulf of Mexico at the same time. Dave admits that the great Paul is getting a bit on in years. Did you see the close-up? Maybe this explains why FOX kept it wide. We see a clip of Paul McCartney. He’s an old guy playing the spoons. We’ve used this clip before. We call the guy “Mr. Bones.”

Dave was a bit bored with the halftime show. It’s why he chimed, “Bring back nudity!”

Did you enjoy the Super Bowl? We sent our own Biff Henderson to cover the event.

I don’t remember what I was doing but I missed this. I remember looking up once and seeing everybody saying how they don’t miss hockey. And I saw Biff shaking hands with President Clinton. And Biff asking if the Super Bowl should be played in light of the Brad and Jen break up.

Oh, and on the roof is a guy who will be jumping off the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater Building while on fire. You don’t want to miss this!
Who is this guy? It’s Norman Douglass
- he’s been a stuntman for over 20 years.
- He’s worked in over 300 movies.
- The roof of the Ed is 90 feet high.
- Before lighting himself afire, Norman douses certain body parts with rubber cement
- Dave reads the weather conditions for tonight’s stunt and notices that Norman has something in common with the barometric pressure. They are both falling. Oh how I laughed at the silliness. As soon as Dave said that, three heads turned my way and asked, “Was that your joke?” No, it wasn’t, but I would have been proud to be the owner. It makes me happy that those around me would link me to that type of joke. The badder the better.

TOP TEN: Philadelphia Eagles Excuses
#9. Discouraged by half time show’s lack of nudity.
#7. Were overwhelmed by the awe-inspiring metropolis that is Jacksonville.
#4. Should have campaigned harder in Ohio.

WILL SMITH: Uh oh. He ain’t happy with the Top Ten list. Will Smith is a Philly guy and attended the Super Bowl. Dave apologizes and promises to send him a lemon tree. Dave and Will recap the game. Did Will play football in high school? Will says he played a little, but is more a lover than a football player. I was both, and in both, my passes often fell incomplete.

In his free time, where does Will and the family go on vacation? Will says they just returned from a skiing get away. His wife Jada (Pinkett Smith) likes to go skiing. The kids love it as well. Will is not a fan of the cold. He style of skiing is like someone is chasing him. Straight down the hill, no serpentining.

I’m not sure if it came up but Will has a CD coming out next month entitled, Lost and Found. Will asks Dave if he plays any instruments. Dave says “no.” I immediately race through my date base to find where we have the clip of “Dave” playing the fiddle. I call it down to Randi our A.D. but she already had it. But then, I knew that she would.

Will Smith stars in the film Hitch with Kevin James. It opens Friday. Will describes it as a comedy romance, not a romantic comedy. The emphasis on comedy. It’s a comedy first. Also in the film is Eva Mendes. Dave asks, “Do we get to see you get some ‘romance’ with Eva?” Dave uses the common “bada-bing” arm gesture when he says ‘romance.’ Will laughs and admonishes Dave, saying there is no ‘romance’ like (does arm movement.) Hitch – it opens Friday.

TOM BRADY: He’s the youngest quarterback to ever win 3 Super Bowls. He’s the New England Patriot’s QB, Tom Brady. 20 hours ago he was leading his team to victory in front of millions, if not billions. I enjoyed his line about the Eagles receiver Freddy Mitchell. Mitchell had talked about having a big game against the Pats and how he had a surprise for safety Rodney Harrison. Says Brady, “I think Harrison had more catches than Freddy Mitchell.” He’s right, of course. Mitchell had one catch; Harrison had two interceptions. Did the Patriots do much celebrating after the game? They did. Tom paints a picture of 50 players dancing to Snoop Dogg at 4:00 in the morning. Been there, done that.

Congratulations to the Boston area. In 12 months they had 2 Super Bowl championships and a World Series to celebrate. And John Kerry made it to the finals.

After saying goodnight, Dave says to Tom Brady over the applause, “Take it easy on the Colts next year.” Brady responds, “Don’t count on it.” Laughs from both.

ACT 5: Norman Douglas prepares for his leap.

NORMAN DOUGLAS: From high atop the Ed Sullivan Theater Building, Norman gets himself lit. He then leaps off. After a 270 degree rotation, Norman falls square on his back. The flame is quickly patted out. Success.

And that was our show for Monday February 7, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

SUPER BOWL GRIPES:
I refused to watch any of the pre-game. I settled in just in time for the opening coin toss. And it didn’t take long for me to start screaming at the TV. They had a local adolescent in a football uniform to do the opening coin toss. The referee explains to the players which is “heads” and which is “tails” on this special Super Bowl coin. Once that is established, it is announced the kid is going to toss the coin. The kid tosses it up without a flip! Gee whiz, it was obvious the kid never tossed a coin before in his life. It went flat up and flat down. It looked like a spaceship. There was no flip to the coin at all. I would have sworn the kid had money on the opening coin toss! (Yes, there is a betting line on the opening toss.) I scream at the TV, “DIDN’T ANYBODY GO OVER THE COIN TOSS WITH THE KID?!” Everything has to be rehearsed! You can take NOTHING for granted. I always say, “If it’s not rehearsed, expect the worst.”

And then 3 plays in to the game, we miss McNabb’s fumble. The camera was busy getting a close-up of something before the whistle was blown.

And then near the end of the first quarter, a Philadelphia Eagle fumbles the ball. One of the FOX announcers, Chris Collinsworth, says the defender tried to HOLD UP the guy with the ball so the other defenders could fly in and strip the ball from him. I scream at the TV. The defender WAS NOT trying to hold up the runner with the ball. He was trying to bring him down like a rodeo guy trying to bring down a steer. I was hoping they would show the play again so Collinsworth could be proved wrong. I was very glad to see a slow-motion replay unfolding. And then the other announcer, Joe Buck, says, “He clearly tried to hold him up!” NO NO NO! There was NO holding up of the player. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a defender trying to hold up another player so a fellow defender could strip the ball. And it wasn’t being done here.

In the 2nd quarter:
- we see a few shots of the Philadelphia Eagles owner cheering his team after a touchdown. I never want to see team owners. Never. Adds nothing to the game.
- Degree deodorant has the Nike swoosh. Huh? Hasn’t the swoosh been trademarked by Nike?
- In the Super Bowl, there is a new football for every play. And then I guess they’re sold for thousands.

You know, if we ever get Paul McCartney to perform here at the LATE SHOW, I hope we get to see a little bit of him and not just the stage. From what I saw, FOX might as well have played a McCartney CD with all the high, overhead shots of the stage. Plus, was he lip-synching? First there was Ashley Simpson, then the Pope, now Paul McCartney. C’mon. When we have Paul McCartney, we want to see Paul McCartney, not the stage on which Paul McCartney is performing.

McCartney was nice, but I would still rather see the Grambling State Marching Band during the Super Bowl halftime.

Some questions: How much do NFL quarterbacks get paid to wear the team baseball caps when they’re on the sideline? And why do they feel the need to whore themselves like that? Don’t they make enough money simply from playing the game?

I was wrong. During the game, ESPN did not have cheerleading competitions. They had figure skating and poker.

Movie promos:
XXX-State of the Union – opens April 29th
Longest Yard – opens Memorial Day
Batman – opens June 17th
War of the Worlds – opens June 29th
Sahara – opens April 8th
Do promoting these films so far in advance really the best way to use their advertising dollar? Or is it just a waste?

AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TURF CAMS! I heard about the turf cams earlier in the week. These were actual television cameras imbedded into the turf for the game. I thought we were going to get shots from the ground up. A bigger waste of money I am unaware of. I thought it incredibly stupid, but then when they never showed a turfcam shot, I felt cheated. Dang that FOX. It’s the old bait and switch. They tell us they’re going to have turf cams, and then when we tune in to watch the game, nothing. I can only imagine how many people watched the Super Bowl just to see the turf cams. How disappointing.

The pylon cam just didn’t match the turf cam.

And then during a commercial, did I see right? Was that Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie working on an airplane? Actually handling airplane equipment? No, not soda and snacks, but actual airline equipment. Did I see that right? And who was the guy who thought that was a good idea? Ah, yes. Certainly makes me feel safe.

And that was my take on the Super Bowl. Thank goodness that nonsense only comes around once a year.