Did you see the donnybrook during the NBA basketball game between the Indiana Pacers and the Detroit Pistons? Dave still can't quite get a grasp on the whole thing, wondering who is at fault, who is responsible for the mess. He admits after it was all said and done, the fight was kind of fun. In the end, Dave thinks it was the fans who were at fault

- I must admit, my viewing of this show tonight was sketchy at best. My responsibilities were elsewhere during the show. I'll try my best to recap the best I can.

BIFF AT A CORN MAZE: From G&M Farms in Livermore, California, our Biff Henderson will be traipsing through a cornfield maze and then trying to find his way out.
The farm is 40 miles east of San Francisco. The maze covers 5 acres and is 2-and-a-half miles. The average time it takes for a person to find their way out is 45 minutes.
What does Biff think of the fight at the basketball game? Biff blames the fans. Has Biff lost weight, Dave wonders. Biff says, "No, just my clothes are bigger."
Biff is dressed in bright orange so we will be able to follow his journey through the maze. We have two cameras on the scene; one which will follow directly behind Biff. Another from a helicopter hovering above. Biff starts his journey through the corn field. Psychologists may have something to say about this but at the first fork in the road, Biff went left.
I wondered how far you go in before you try to find your way out. I wasn't really listening or watching but was the entrance and exit one and the same? Or was the entrance "here" and the exit way on the other side?

Everybody is talking about this NBA basketbrawl. Dave saw an interesting commercial message earlier today.

"Friday's disgraceful melee involving Pacers and Pistons players and fans is a shocking example of the culture of violence that pervades professional sports. Thanks, NBA, for picking up the slack during our lockout. A message from the National Hockey League."

Back to Biff. He looks to be deep in the maze. Biff assures us he's still confident he can get out, proclaiming, "I don't even feel lost, yet." Dave asks Biff if he would do a favor and run. Run as fast as he can through the maze. I'm not sure what Dave was hoping for but it was fun watching the camera guy trying to keep up. Come to think of it, I think that's what Dave had in mind.

STUPID PET TRICKS:
Pet Trick #1 - Teresa Hanula and her border collie, Leroy. They are both from Fairfax, Virginia. What can Leroy do? He can respond to commands from Teresa who spells them out. Dave is impressed, noting that this suggests a higher level of intelligence.
Teresa and Leroy perform their trick.
Teresa says, "S-I-T." Leroy sits.
- D-O-W-N: Leroy lies down.
- R-O-L-L: Leroy rolls over.
Dave likes this and says he wants to try. Dave spells, "G-E-T A C-A-B." Leroy gets angry and confused. He runs in circles, then up through the audience aisle.
Once Leroy returns, we try some more.
- B-O-N-J-O-U-R: Leroy offers his paw to shake.
- H-U-G: Leroy gives Teresa a hug.

Pet Trick #2 - Jennifer Bunemeyer and her Alaskan Husky Mix, Sadie: They are from Baltimore. What can they do? Sadie can run on a treadmill and hurdle over Jennifer's arms during the run.
Jennifer turns on the treadmill and Sadie begins to walk. Jennifer slowly ups the speed and Sadie puts a little hop in its step. Soon, Sadie is in a jog, then in an all out run. Jennifer leans down and waves her arm under Sadie. Sadie leaps over her arm. Jennifer does it again and again and Sadie successfully leaps each time. Nice job, Sadie!

Pet Trick #3 - Erica Volkman and her pug, Odie. What can Odie do? Odie can talk! Wow! A talking dog! Well, let's see this!
With a bit of the prompt from Erica, Odie is soon saying "I Love You." Very cool!

COLIN FARRELL: He's Alexander. What did Colin Farrell know about Alexander before doing the film? Colin admits, "Nothing." I don't know much about Alexander the Great either but I now know he dyed his hair blond.
Some years ago when Colin was living in Australia, he was arrested on a murder charge. Yikes! A murder was committed and the police sketch was put together. When he was approached by the police and shown the picture, he had to admit it looked quite a bit like him. He was taken into custody and questioned for a few hours. His alibi? He was busy committing a lesser crime at the time of the murder.
Hmmmm, interesting police strategy. When you think someone committed, oh let's say, committed a petit larceny, the police accuse you of murder. You then blurt out, "I didn't commit murder! I was swiping a Hootie and the Blowfish CD at the time!" Gotcha!
"Alexander" is the big Oliver Stone extravaganza and it opens Wednesday.

ACT 5: It's more of Biff in his attempt to escape the cornfield maze.

THE WALKMEN: From their CD, "Bows and Arrows," The Walkmen performed "Little House of Savages."

So how did Biff do? Did he find his way out of the maze? No. But he promises he will get out eventually. The camera widens and we see Biff far, far from finding his way out.

And that was our show for Monday, November 22, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

To recap the basketball fight: Two players got into an altercation. It gravitated towards the sideline. A fan throws a beer at one of the players. That player and others retaliate against the fan. I'm not sure if they retaliated against the right guy.
So who is at fault for the mess in the NBA? As a fan, I put myself in the place of the fan. Fans have no right to throw anything at a player. Would I throw a beer at a player? No. So I'm placing the blame on the fans. How about the players involved? I'm sure if someone threw a beer at you when you were at work, and you were bigger and stronger than the guy who threw it, you too would get up and beat the heck out of him. Imagine you work for H&R Block and you're doing someone's taxes. Just as you are pointing to the spots where the person has to sign, an outsider comes over and pours beer on you and the tax form, then curses your mother and ridicules your bald spot. Of course you would be outraged. You would jump out of your chair. Then imagine that the guy who poured the beer on you was 6 inches shorter than you, 100 pounds less than you, and looked like Woody Allen's weaker little brother. You would elevate immediately from outrage to attack.
Should the players have gone into the stands to punch out the ‘fans'? No, but I can understand their behavior more than the fan who threw the beer.

No need for New York Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey to get a flu shot. He won't catch the flu. He can't catch anything.

I guess Indiana Pacer Ron Artest got the time off he was looking for to work on his rap album.

Here's something a bit odd. All the books in the Clinton Library are cataloged based on the Doughy Decimal System.

Have you seen the new show on Bravo: "Queer Eye for the Alexander Guy"?

Remember my great idea to invent colored clip-on microphones so blend in with the person's clothing? I received this from Eileen Morgan of New York City:

"Mike -- colored mics? Si... Watch 20/20 tonight, or any Friday night -- oh dear -- didn't Barbara retire from that? Anyway, part of her deal was that all her mics were colored to perfectly match her outfit. I thought that couldn't be true -- but then I began to watch her on 20/20, and damn if it wasn't so. If you see her interviewing on tv, watch closely because you can't even detect where the mic is."

Friday afternoon I had to check out Oprah to see what kind of clip-on microphone she was wearing. She had on a black top with a gray sweater-thing over it. The clip-on microphone was black and it was clipped onto her black shirt. This was not a very good sampling for colored microphones. The topic, though, did catch my ear. It was about sex, female infidelity, and swingers! I immediately thought of Howard Stern. I'm curious to see if I find anything offensive so I can contact the FCC and lodge a complaint. She did offer a warning at the top of the show to all the moms and dad out there to "tell the kids they can't watch the show" since the material may not be appropriate for children.
Note to Howard Stern: You should do the same every morning at 6:00 AM.

Hey, Tweens! Don't miss the American Girl Doll TV movie Tuesday night on the WB, "Samantha: An American Girl Holiday". It's all about Samantha in 1904 New York.

I was asked the other day by Wahoo reader, Deb Watson of Des Moines, Iowa:

"Is a 3-year-old too young for an American Girl doll?" Answer: Yes, but it's not too early to start saving up.