Later in the show, Dave will detonate the stuffing cannon. Behind Dave are 4 cannons filled with stuffing. At the end of the ACT 1, Dave will push a simple switch and blast stuffing across the stage. You don't want to miss this. Is this Sweeps or what?

You heard about the grilled cheese sandwich with the image of the Virgin Mary on it that sold for $28,000 on Ebay. Well, yesterday Dave picked up a ham sandwich at Rupert's and you could see the likeness of Burt Reynolds. And then today, Dave picked up a Reuben for lunch. He shows it to the camera and LOOK AT THAT! It's Kenny Rogers. And I always thought if I was ever going to see Kenny Rogers on a food item it would be on a roaster.

This Pacers/Piston melee is still a hot topic. At first Dave blamed the fans. Now he's reconsidering. He's placing the blame on the management of the teams. They sell beer and alcohol to the fans and keep on selling until they can't take it no more. Alcohol sales are a great money-maker so if it creates a situation where somebody gets beat up now and then, so be it. Cut out the beer and you'll likely cut out a lot of the trouble.

And in light of all this basketball talk of late, the New York Knicks had a special promotion this week at one of their games. Dave saved the commercial.

"Tuesday night, come to Madison Square Garden to watch the Knicks take on the Atlanta Hawks. And as a special treat, in the fourth quarter the Knicks are gonna go into the stands and kick Woody Allen's ass. The New York Knicks. Be There!"

"With the resignation of Colin Powell and the departure of several top CIA aides, the United States would like to ask its enemies to please not attack us for the next 6-8 weeks 'til we get back up to speed. Thanks for being so cool about this, everybody. We totally owe you one. A friendly request from your wartime President."

It looks like New Yorkers certainly have the Thanksgiving spirit.

STUFFING CANNON: It's time. Dave moves to the front of the desk for protection. With a simple flick of the switch, the cannons blast the dry stuffing mix to smithereens. Sounds exciting, doesn't it? It sure does! Unfortunately, the 'Stuffing Cannon' is a lot better on paper than it is in person.

TOP TEN: Questions Received by The Butterball Turkey Hotline.
#10. "If I put my phone in the turkey, can you tell me if it's done?"
#7. "Given the current market, am I better off renting a turkey?"
#2. "What's the best kind of stuffing to shoot from a cannon?"

WHOOPI GOLDBERG: She's starring in her very own one-woman show on Broadway. It's at the Lyceum Theater at 149 West 45th Street and it's called, "Whoopi." Over the summer, Whoopi spoke at a Democratic fundraiser and said some stuff you might expect a comedian to say. She poked fun at the President of the United States, using double entendres to amuse, and you know you can have a lot of fun with the word 'Bush,' multiple entendres, in fact, not just double. She caught some heat for this and the people at Slim Fast soon canceled her endorsement deal. So no more free Slim Fast for Whoopi.
How about that basketball mess? Whoopi wisely says "Everyone should be responsible for their own behavior" but you can sometimes be pushed too far. She's right. Nobody should have beer thrown at them when they are working. You can catch Whoopi in "Whoopi" through January 30th.

JASON BATEMAN: He's on the Emmy Award-winning Fox comedy program, "Arrested Development," described by some as "one of those great shows that nobody watches." I hear that and I think of "Slap Maxwell." Good show. Nobody watched. "Arrested Development" now follows "The Simpsons" on Sunday night and I need to create some "Me" time and watch it. It's on my list of shows I want to watch. It's a very very short list.
You may remember Jason Bateman from the comedy series "Silver Spoons" of many years ago. He starred with Ricky Schroeder. They were just kids. Also on the program was Erin Gray. Jason reveals for the first time that he and Ricky would quite often sneak around in the rafters of the studio and spy on Erin while she was changing. It's what kids do.
Jason is married to Amanda Anka. That makes his father-in-law Paul Anka. What's it like to have Paul Anka as a father-in-law on Thanksgiving? Jason shares a family story of how Paul likes to take the biggest drumstick off the turkey and use it as a microphone. He then sings the blessings to the tune of "My Way." What a wacky guy that Anka. And thanks for the idea!
"Arrested Development" - Sunday nights on FOX at 8:30.

ACT 5:
Alan: "It's time for 'Tony Mendez Gives Away the Endings to Movies in Spanish.'"
Tony: "Hola! Esta noche, joy a divulger el final de la pelicula 'National Treasure': 'Tesoro National'
Bueno. Nicolas Cage interpreta el papel de un aventurero valiente. El y su team Boscan un tesoro Escondido desde hace 2,000 anos usando un mapa que esta for detras de la declaracion di independencia.
Hay mucho corre-corre y tiroteos y al final, encuentran el tesoro, pero Nicolas Cage acaba muerto."
Alan: "This has been 'Tony Mendez Gives Away the Ending to Movies in Spanish.' Be sure to watch 'The Tony Mendez Show' at www.cbs.com/lateshow. It's bilingual!"

MARILYN MANSON: From his greatest hits CD, "Lest We Forget: The Best Of," Marilyn Manson performed "Personal Jesus."

STUFFING CANNON: To close the show, one more time for good measure. More stuffing from the cannon!

And that was our show for Wednesday, November 24, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

More about the bad behavior of sports fans:
Do you know why that guy threw the beer at Ron Artest? Because if Ron Artest didn't react the way he did, nothing would have happened to the guy. At worst he would have been thrown out of the arena, but who cares? There was less than a minute left in the game. Until the "fans" who exhibit such behavior are punished, and their punishment publicized, this behavior will continue.
Suggested punishment:
Loss of season tickets; fine; jail time. You need the jail time. This way it will be harder for the jerk to hide his jerkiness from friends, family, and fellow workers. If just a fine was levied, he could quietly pay it without anyone being the wiser. Jail time, even if just for a week, would bring light upon his assness and make the fan perhaps think twice.

Two things this week I was interested in but never saw it in the newspapers. The first was that John Green (?) guy who threw the beer at Ron Artest. He must be doing pretty well in business to have such good seats for an NBA Championship team. So what does he do for a living?
The second thing: There was a guy in New York City who won $149 million in the Mega-ball Lottery. He only recently declared bankruptcy, was deep in debt, had very little money, and worked as a parking attendant. What I wanted to know was how many Mega-ball tickets did he buy? Every report I've read says where he bought the ticket but no one reported how many tickets he bought.

The Wahoo Gazette's "Herbie vs. Hermie" - is the dentist elf on Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer named Herbie or Hermie? It really isn't much of a debate any longer. It's been established that it's Hermie. But I have seen the elf referred to as Herbie enough times for me to bring this up each year. This year I am looking for your spottings of the incorrect "Herbie."

From Michael Loik of Ben Lomond, California.

"To assist your study of 'Herbie vs. Hermey', I decided to do what scientists call a 'meta-analysis'. This is an analysis of trends in data. One way to do this is to tally the overall numbers of citations to a particular topic.
So, off to Google. I did a search on 'Herbie the elf' and 'Hermey the elf', and recorded the number of responses for each. Then, thinking that some people may not agree on how to spell 'Hermey', I also did searches using the spelling 'Hermie' and 'Hermy'.

The results:
'Hermey the elf: 2,960 hits
'Hermie the elf': 2,980 hits
'Hermy the elf': 1,940 hits
'Herbie the elf': 17,400 hits

Conclusions: 1. There are discrepancies in how to spell 'Hermey'.
2. More web hits were recorded for 'Herbie' than 'Hermey', even though the cognescenti know that his name is truly 'Hermey'.
3. It is important to note that this analysis assumes that all hits were related to Herbie/Hermey the elf of Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer fame."

I'm afraid half the Herbie references came from the Wahoo Gazette.