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Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Show #2272
By Michael Z. McIntee Change Text Color:
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Renee Zellweger; and Dr. Chris Raxworthy.
PLUS: The Scramjet; a message from the Department of Homeland Security; a Top Ten list; and a Day in the Life of Condoleezza Rice.

Billboarding tonight’s program, Dave mentions Renee Zellweger’s new film, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason. Every time I hear the title of that film, I think of Johnny Carson’s comedy piece "The Edge of Wetness.”

Did you read about NASA’s new experimental jet, the world’s fastest? It’s called the “Scramjet,” short for “Supersonic Combustion Ramjet,” and it goes 7,000 miles per hour. Dave says, “It’s like me coming to work.” In fact, here it comes now! Behind Dave, we see the actual Scramjet fly by, sound effects and all! The building shook, it did. Actually, it was a tiny model plane riding on a piece of fine filament. Dave admits, “Boy, was that lame.” Paul laughs and likens it to a puppet show.

This Scramjet brings to Dave’s mind his favorite sound effect of all, the Amelia Earhart airplane. No sooner does Dave call for it than our SFX guy pushes the Amelia Earhart button. Nicely done. It was seamless.

There were conflicting reports over whether Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge would also be resigning from the Bush Cabinet, following the lead of many others. Today, the Department of Homeland Security came out with this announcement.

“The Department of Homeland Security would like to dispel rumors that Tom Ridge has resigned. Mr. Ridge has merely changed his resignation threat level from ‘No Immediate Plans’ to ‘Don’t Bet Against It’. If the threat level reaches ‘Time to Move On,’ we’ll make a formal announcement.
A message from the Department of Homeland Security.”
And if you liked that NASA Scramjet, you’re gonna love this. The annual Leonid Meteor Shower is supposed to peak tonight. We have Pat Farmer on the roof monitoring the situation. Dave asks, “Pat, do you see anything?”
Pat on the roof with a telescope: “Well, Dave, I don’t see anything, yet. But, for those who aren’t familiar with the Leonid meteor shower, here’s some information you may find useful. Every year at this time, Earth passes through the dusty debris trail of the comet, Tempel-Tuttle. The name ‘Leonid’ comes from the area of the sky where . . . .” Suddenly out of no where, Pat is blasted to smithereens by the flying meteor.

Dave is thankful the meteor only hit Pat and not the Scramjet. We see the Scramjet once again fly by. Yup, it’s a lot like a puppet show.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF CONDOLEEZA RICE – She’s a busy gal! Our National Security Advisor is now nominated to be our Secretary of State. This is a glance at how she spends her day. Some highlights:

9:00 AM – Practices CPR in advance of meeting with Vice President Cheney.
11:00 AM – At the request of the President, checks the Declaration of Independence to see if there’s really a treasure map on the back.
2:00 PM – Is called in as an expert mediator to broker peace between warring factions at the Vibe Awards.
6:00 PM – Receives congratulatory phone call from Colin Powell.
7:00 PM – Receives inappropriate phone call form Bill O’Reilly.

At the end of the comedy, Dave says he just lost a thousand dollars. He made a bet on tonight’s comedy and he lost. Relax Denise, the bet wasn’t with me.

I swear.

TOP TEN: Signs You’re Watching a Bad Disaster Movie Earlier tonight, CBS aired the 2nd part of their disaster miniseries, Category 6: Day of Destruction. It’s about three enormous weather systems that collide over Chicago, creating the worst super-storm in the nation’s history.
#9. Actor playing seismologist hero has all the charisma of an actual seismologist.
#4. Tornadoes suck up dozens of parked cars and gently put them down in less convenient parking spots.

RENEE ZELLWEGER: Paul plays her on with “Reasons” by Earth Wind and Fire, in honor of her new film, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason.

Renee is dressed in a bright green dress. I’m not sure if we’ve had a bright green dress like that on our show before. Later, our Technical Director has a little fun when he changes the color of Renee’s dress by pushing one of the many buttons he sits in front of.

In her free time, Renee likes to “fix my French” and take cooking classes.

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason opens nationwide this Friday.

That’s all I have on Renee’s 3 segments. The copier in the shack broke down and I was on my hands and knees looking for the tiniest piece of paper inside the machine which was causing the jam up. I nearly busted a toe trying to fix the problem. I made a mental note: Next time I kick the machine, be sure I’m wearing my steel-toed boots.

ACT 5: It’s George Clarke in the basement. He is sharpening his knife, staring at a photo of Dave. He mumbles angrily:
“’Sorry, George, we just can’t give you a raise this year.’ ‘No raise for you, George.’ Let’s see how funny you are with a knife stuck in your gut, old man!”
George sees camera. “Get that camera off me!”

DR. CHRIS RAXWORTHY: he’s a herpetologist from the American Museum of Natural History. I really wanted no part of this guy when I saw he was booked until I realized a herpetologist is an expert in amphibians and reptiles. I was thinking in a whole different direction. The doctor has a bunch of frogs with him to show off.
1. Ornate Horned Toad – ceratophys ornate – lives in South America – sometimes called the PacMan Frog due to its large mouth and round body.
2. Vietnamese Mossy Frog – theloderma corticale – Dave says it looks like leftovers in Martha Stewart’s refrigerator after being locked up for 6 months.
3. Poison Dart Frog – phylloabates terribilis – the most poisonous frog in the world – due to its diet in captivity, it is not poisonous
4. The Blue Poison Dart Frog – dendrobates azureus
5. Bumble-Bee Dart Frog – dendrobates leucomilas
6. African Clawed Frog – Xenopus laevis – we feed it some worms ---- and he eats it! Way cool!
7. Mexican Dumpy Tree Frog – pachymedusa dacnicolor – according to Dave, this frog will stick to your face
8. Rococo Toad – bufo paracnemis.

I found this segment ribeting.

Ewww. I just thought of something. That demonstration table we used for the frogs is the same table we use for our cooking segments. I wonder how well we clean it down.

The Frog exhibit at the American Museum of Natural History runs through January 9th. I’ve been thinking of taking the girls to the museum. This may be the inspiration.

Side note: The Thanksgiving Parade in New York City begins at the American Museum of Natural History. Years ago you could go there the night before and watch the balloons being inflated. Unfortunately, this too now has become so popular and crowded that no one goes anymore.

And that was our show for Wednesday November 17, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

My girls Dominique and Danielle each received a $100 gift certificate to the American Girl Doll store for their birthday last week. They are very excited. I don’t have the heart to tell them $100 will only get them a couple outfits and a spare pair of eyeglasses. Their wish-list is already a page-and-a-half long.

Baseball free agent pitchers are having a ball pitting the Yankees against the Red Sox. The Yankees will want to sign the guy simply to keep him from the Red Sox, and the Red Sox will want to do the same against the Yankees. And likewise, I suspect the Yankees have no intention of signing Pedro Martinez, but threaten to just so the Red Sox will have to pay top price, leaving the Sox with less money for other free agents.

If major league baseball played by Little League rules with games only 6 innings long, then I would agree that the Yankees should go hard for Pedro Martinez. But since Major League Baseball plays 9 innings, I say forget it.

Hey, here’s something I found in today’s newspaper that may interest you:

Finalists announced for Biletnikoff Award

Tallahassee, FL (Sports Network) - Michigan's Braylon Edwards, Purdue's Taylor Stubblefield and Ball State's Dante Ridgeway were named finalists for the Biletnikoff Award, given annually to college football's top receiver. Edwards and Stubblefield are both seniors, while Ridgeway is a junior. Edwards has helped the seventh-ranked Wolverines to a 9-1 record this season by catching 76 passes for 1,049 yards and 11 touchdowns.

Stubblefield has totaled 68 receptions for 876 yards and 12 TDs for the Boilermakers, who have dropped four of their last five games after opening the season 5-0.

Ridgeway has put together a stellar 2004 campaign for the 2-8 Cardinals. He has grabbed 95 balls for 1,184 yards and seven touchdowns.

The winner will be announced in December at the annual awards show at Walt Disney World.

Yesterday I referenced something from Monday’s Wahoo Gazette:
“I closed yesterday’s Wahoo Gazette with: ‘That’s all there is. There isn’t any more,’

Why? Because 100 years ago on November 15, 1904:
- One of Broadway’s most famous phrases was uttered for the first time.
Ethel Barrymore, appearing in the play, ‘Sunday’, spoke the famous line…..
‘That’s all there is. There isn’t any more,’ as the curtain fell.”

Wahoo reader Steve Anderson of Great Falls, Virginia correctly points out the following:
”I'm a daily reader for the past three years. The phrase ‘that’s all there is, there isn't any more’ was also the closing line of the children's books ‘Madeline’, which your girls may or may not have seen. I have two daughters, not twins, who read and watched the videos of Madeline years ago. In the cartoon video, I believe Christopher Plummer (the Sound of Music) was the narrator. Didn't know it was Ethel Barrymore. Thanks for keeping us informed!”
DING! Right you are, Steve. I am well aware of the Christopher Plummer narration of the Madeline series. I thought I was a wise theatrical sage when I was familiar with “That’s all there is. There isn’t any more.” Then on my drive home Monday night I realized I only knew it from Madeline.

I’m so there is nothing going on in the world. I know this because splashed across the front page of today’s Daily News and New York Post are these headlines:

New York Post: “GOD BLESS GARY: Sheffield Sex Tape Scandal – Wife’s kin hail Yank.”

Daily News: “THEY ARE SO STRONG: Loving mother says daughter will survive sex tape extortion scandal.”

I guess these sex tapes are the biggest story in the world today.

Howard Stern is on the show Thursday night. He usually has something to say.




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